alfredbulbasaur Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 "This is it lads," he said. "This is the one we’ve been waiting for." I looked at him blankly. I knew what he was going to say, I’d heard it all before. How we had to do it for the fans. How we had to do it for the team. How we had to do it for ourselves. We didn’t need this, we were ready for it. "Just go out there and play like you know you can play. I know you can win it, you know, deep down inside, that you can win it, so go out there and win it!" I looked at the others. I could see they were nervous. Not surprising really, this was the biggest day of their lives. Come to think about it, it was probably the biggest day of my life, certainly in footballing terms and as soon as this thought came into my mind I started getting a bit jittery. It had been a long time since I’d been this nervous. In fact, I couldn’t remember ever being this nervous before a game. The closest I’d ever been was all the way back at the start... It was half past two on the first Saturday of the season, and I was sat in the dressing room at the Withdean, waiting to go out for the final warm-up before the game. Normally before matches I was a picture of coolness, but today was different. Today I was a bag of nerves. OK, it wasn’t exactly the biggest match in the world. It was Brighton versus Brentford on the first day of the Second Division season. There were no TV cameras, there were barely any photographers, and not a great deal of people in general. But I was still nervous. I’d never played a full, competitive match before, only a few games for the reserves at the back end of last season and meaningless friendlies in pre season, which hadn’t gone well at all. Defeats against Wolves, Cheltenham, Farnborough, AFC Wimbledon and Kettering were only compounded by the fact we managed to score a massive two goals in all of those matches, both courtesy of my left boot. However, a solitary win, ironically against Wimbledon, did give us hope that we could at least have a decent season, and not the relegation battle that some of the gloom merchants were predicting. As I was just about to go out onto the pitch, Mick came over to me. Mick Coleman, the new Brentford manager. He’d taken over after Wally Downes was sacked over the summer after a bottom half finish to last season, and a bit of a disagreement with the chairman. "You alright?" he asked. "Only you look a bit funny." "Oh yeah, I’m fine. Great." "Ah, don’t worry about it. Everyone’s gonna be nervous before their first game, it’s only natural. I was nervous as hell before my first game, but I did alright. Actually, come to think about it, I got sent off for slapping some Herbert round the head, and I got released later that season. But you’ve got nothing to worry about, you’ll be fine." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 "This is it lads," he said. "This is the one we’ve been waiting for." I looked at him blankly. I knew what he was going to say, I’d heard it all before. How we had to do it for the fans. How we had to do it for the team. How we had to do it for ourselves. We didn’t need this, we were ready for it. "Just go out there and play like you know you can play. I know you can win it, you know, deep down inside, that you can win it, so go out there and win it!" I looked at the others. I could see they were nervous. Not surprising really, this was the biggest day of their lives. Come to think about it, it was probably the biggest day of my life, certainly in footballing terms and as soon as this thought came into my mind I started getting a bit jittery. It had been a long time since I’d been this nervous. In fact, I couldn’t remember ever being this nervous before a game. The closest I’d ever been was all the way back at the start... It was half past two on the first Saturday of the season, and I was sat in the dressing room at the Withdean, waiting to go out for the final warm-up before the game. Normally before matches I was a picture of coolness, but today was different. Today I was a bag of nerves. OK, it wasn’t exactly the biggest match in the world. It was Brighton versus Brentford on the first day of the Second Division season. There were no TV cameras, there were barely any photographers, and not a great deal of people in general. But I was still nervous. I’d never played a full, competitive match before, only a few games for the reserves at the back end of last season and meaningless friendlies in pre season, which hadn’t gone well at all. Defeats against Wolves, Cheltenham, Farnborough, AFC Wimbledon and Kettering were only compounded by the fact we managed to score a massive two goals in all of those matches, both courtesy of my left boot. However, a solitary win, ironically against Wimbledon, did give us hope that we could at least have a decent season, and not the relegation battle that some of the gloom merchants were predicting. As I was just about to go out onto the pitch, Mick came over to me. Mick Coleman, the new Brentford manager. He’d taken over after Wally Downes was sacked over the summer after a bottom half finish to last season, and a bit of a disagreement with the chairman. "You alright?" he asked. "Only you look a bit funny." "Oh yeah, I’m fine. Great." "Ah, don’t worry about it. Everyone’s gonna be nervous before their first game, it’s only natural. I was nervous as hell before my first game, but I did alright. Actually, come to think about it, I got sent off for slapping some Herbert round the head, and I got released later that season. But you’ve got nothing to worry about, you’ll be fine." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 English Second Division vs Brighton and Hove Albion (a) So the day I had been waiting for for as long as I could remember had finally come. I was going to have played professional football, and I'd kick off my career away to the favourites for the Second Division title. As if that didn't make it hard enough, we had our main goal threat, Kevin O'Connor, out through an injury he picked up in the friendly against Kettering, and wasn't even fit enough for the bench. Mark Peters came in for him, but since he was previously kept out of the team by Leon Constantine, who'd had an awful pre-season, our chances didn't look great. However, we had a good blend of experience at all sorts of levels. Loan signings Gary Naysmith and Philippe Christanval had played international football, and Jamie Fullarton had bags of experience in the Scottish Premier Division, so we had players who knew all the tricks. However, the wonderous debut I'd dreamed about didn't happen in the first half, which had I not been playing in, I'd have fallen asleep. Constantine had a shot a good few yards wide of the post, and that was pretty much it, apart from an injury to our skipper Michael Dobson, who was replaced by former Arsenal and Celtic defender Scott Marshall. It got better after the half time break though, mainly because Brighton showed why they were in the First Division last season. Apart from a long range shot from Constantine, and a cross from the left wing I swung in which just missed Peters' head, we were on the back foot with Paul Kitson and Graham Barrett causing us all sorts of problems at the back. Thankfully for us, Leo Roget was playing brilliantly in our back three, and when they did get in behind us, Paul Smith was looking unbeatable between the sticks. In the end it finished goalless. Not how I'd dreamed it, but it could have been a great deal worse. Final Score:- Brighton 0-0 Brentford Team:- (3-5-2) Smith 8; Roget 8, Christanval 8, Dobson © 6 (Marshall sub 45, 6); Naysmith 8, Hutchinson 7, Fullarton 7, Rowlands 6, Greenan 8; Constantine 6, Peters 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 5, 2003 Author Share Posted June 5, 2003 "Did you see Leo miss that open goal?" I burst out laughing. "Oh God yeah! I couldn’t play properly, I was all over the place laughing at him. But then again, you didn’t do too much better yourself, did you?" He gave me a funny look. "Oi! I’ll have less of that thank you very much." "Well, you missed that time when I set you up..." "Well...erm...that wasn’t my fault. You put too much pace on it, didn’t ya?" "Too much pace...you’re having a laugh! You just fluffed it over the bar." He was starting to look a bit uncomfortable. "I did NOT fluff it. And anyway, it bounced funny just before..." "Too much pace, funny bounces... You’ve got an excuse for everything, ain’t ya? Anyway, I was thin...oh shi...this is my stop. I’ll give you a call later, yeah?" "Yeah, you can tell me how you get on with Beth." "I told you before, it’s nothing like that." "Yeah right, I’ve seen the way you look at her..." "You’re an idiot, you know that? See you later mate" "Yeah, laters." Great, it’s raining, I thought. I went to check my bag. It wasn’t there. "Bloody typical," I muttered under my breath. "The only time I don’t bring it..." I stopped when I realised I was talking out loud, and hurried off down the road. I looked down at my watch. I was late. She’ll have a field day with this, I thought. She always does, although I had someone else to deal with first... "Nick!" "Matt! Alright? How’s it going?" "Oh, you know, I’m always good. Listen, what you up to now?" "Er, I’m just going home. Just had training." "Oh yeah?" he said, in an uninterested tone of voice. "How’d it go?" "Fine, fine. We had a practice match, and Leo...erm, you know Leo, don’t you?†"Nope." "Oh well, anyway, he had an open goal, and he tried to be all clever and spooned it over the top." It was here I realised he wasn’t listening. "Anyway," he said, "What you doing later? I’ve got this sweet little party lined up. It’s gonna be so cool. What d’ya say?" "Sorry mate, I’d love to, it’s just that I’ve already said that I’d help Beth out with her coursework, you know? It’s in on Friday, and she’s not got much done yet, so I said..." "Oh come on Nick. She’s just using you to get through all her school stuff. She’s not interested in being your friend, or whatever it is you say you are..." "You always do this, always slagging here off. What did she ever do to you?" "And you always do that." "What?" "Jump straight in to defend her. She doesn’t give a tóss about you." "Yeah, says you..." "No, says her." "You what?" "The other night, when someone was asking here about school. She was bragging that she didn’t have to do anything, you’d do it for her. She was boasting how she has you right round here little finger. Face it Nick, she don’t give a stuff about you." "No, no, she wouldn’t say that...you’re just jealous." "I beg your pardon?" "You heard me! You’re jealous because she likes me, and no-one gives a tóss about you!" "You stupid little prÃck. Sod you then. You wanna go on deluding yourself, then fine. Don’t come crying to me when it all ends in tears." And that was it. I never spoke to him again after that. One stupid little argument and I’d lost one of my best friends. But what he said got me thinking. What if he was telling the truth? What if she was just using me? No, she wouldn’t do that. Or would she? I had to know the truth, and decided that tonight was the time. I was going to bite the bullet, and find out once and for all. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 6, 2003 Author Share Posted June 6, 2003 After trudging up the stairs for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got to the eighth floor, and was home. Home. It wasn’t all that great in some respects, but I was perfectly happy there. Sure, the rooms were a bit small, and the bathroom was so miniscule, it was almost non-existant. And yes, there were stains on one of the walls from where people upstairs had a washing machine start leaking. But it was home, and I liked it there. “What time do you call this?†she asked. “Oh, come on Mum, I’m not that…†I glanced down at my watch. “Well, I guess I am quite late. Sorry ‘bout that, got held up after training, and the bus was late, and…and…†“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. I’ll just go get your dinner out the oven. You’re lucky that you got here this soon, I was just about to give up on you, and throw it away.†She passed the plate to me. “Erm…thanks Mum.†“What’s wrong with it?†“Oh, no, nothing. I was just thinking of something else.†I was lying. It was another pizza. While I don’t normally have a problem with pizzas, my mum’s idea of a thin and crispy pizza is to leave it in the oven until the edges go black. Very crispy indeed, although I had something far worse to deal with than an over-cooked dinner. “You shouldn’t be eating that,†she said. My sister. A combination of the most annoying person you know and the most devious one made her one of the people you’d least like to be stuck in a lift with. And I had to live with her. “How would you know?†“Well, we were doing this thing in Food Tech, right?†“Right†“And we had to work out what the calories in different meals were, right?†“Yeah†“So I did…†I couldn’t be bothered to listen to her rabbit on about some rubbish that she’d more than likely just made up. And besides, all I had to do was respond every so often with a… “Yeah†…and then she’d be perfectly happy talking away. She’d probably move on to how her French teacher’s got it in for her, and what happened today in French… “Yeah†…even though she’s only got two French lessons a week, but there’s always a new story every day when I get home… “Yeah†…and each one is more brilliant and more fantastic than the last. Then she’d move on to someone in her class, and how they’re a loser, because they got their bag off a market… “Yeah†…or they have a coat with four stripes down the sleeves, and it ‘wants’ to be an Adidas coat. “Are you even listening to me?†“Yeah†“So what have I been talking about?†“Your French teacher?†“Yeah, so anyway…†Oh, and then there’s the classic. How her friend is an idiot. She always went on about how her friend was an idiot, and got bullied by her parents into doing things she didn’t want to do. In fact, she seemed to hate almost all of her friends… “Yeah†…but never really thought that she should actually go and get some friends that she did like. Then again, in a way I could think of a reason I didn’t like most of my friends, but apart from that, they were fine. “Yeah†“Yeah what? No-one said anything.†“Er…just yeah. Anyway, I’m off out now. Going round Beth’s to help her with her coursework.†“OK then, don’t be too late then.†“I won’t. Bye Mum.†Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 6, 2003 Author Share Posted June 6, 2003 “Oh, hi Nick†“Hi Mrs Woodley. Is Beth in?†“Yeah, she’s upstairs doing some homework, so I’m not sure whether...†“No, that’s why I’m here. I came to help her with it.†“Oh right. Well, go right up then. You know the way†“OK, thanks Mrs Woodley.†It was a nice house. It had a very cosy, homely kind of feel to it, and was obviously lived in quite a lot. The sofa had slight bumps in it where Beth’s dad sat when he watched the TV, and lots of little ornaments that Beth’s mum had collected for years. The walls on the stairs were covered with photos of Beth, taken at various ages. There were pictures from a holiday from when she was still in nappies, quite a few from when she went through her ‘horse phase’, as she called it, and a fair few of the photos contained me at some age. We’d been friends for as long as we could both remember. We first met in the local pub’s beer garden, and spent the entire afternoon playing in a giant shoe. Then a couple of years later we were put in the same class at school. She got dead excited about it, but I had no idea why. I couldn’t remember her, and I still can’t remember our first meeting to this day. My memory was never my strong point. All through school we got people saying we were going out with each other. I always denied it, of course, but she’d pretend it was true, mainly because she knew how much it embarrassed me. I’d say to people ‘No, we’re just friends,’ but she’d then say ‘How can you say that? Doesn’t our love mean anything to you?’ And it was all a big joke. But over the years, I began to realise that I wanted it to be true. However, it never looked like she wanted me. I’d never bucked up the courage to actually do something about it; I was always scared she’d reject me. Besides, I’d rather be just friends than nothing to her, and I didn’t want tot do anything to jeopardise our friendship. Unfortunately though, time was running out. In a few more months, she’d finish college and go off to university, while I’d be off round the country playing football. We’d hardly ever see each other any more, and I was terrified that we might drift apart. So I decided the only thing to do was to tell her how I felt, and that night was as good as any. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 7, 2003 Author Share Posted June 7, 2003 I knocked on the door. “Come in Nick,†she said impatiently. I entered the room with a puzzled look on my face. “How did you...?†“I heard you talking to Mum downstairs. What took you so long?†“Oh, nothing, nothing. How’s it going? The coursework, I mean.†“Er, fine, I guess. Are you alright?†“Yeah, I’m fine, fine. Couldn’t be better,†I said hurriedly. I thought she was starting to pick up on my nervousness. “Shall we get down to it? The work, I mean.†“OK then. You see, so far I’ve got...†Just sitting there watching her explain what she was doing made me realise what I had to do. Just looking at her, her perfect flowing brown hair, her beautiful, deep green eyes, her... “So what do you think?†“About what?†“The idea for the conclusion? Do you think that’s how I should do it?†“Yeah, it sounds like a great idea, yeah.†“Yeah, I thought so too. Thanks.†I suddenly felt this great feeling inside me. I knew this was my chance. “Erm...Beth?†“Yeah?†“I’ve got something I want to tell you.†“Yeah?†“Yeah. It’s about you and me.†“Yeah?†“Er...yeah. You see, I’ve been doing some thinking recently. I mean, we’re really good friends, aren’t we?†“Yeah.†“Yeah. Well, I was thinking, and I think, no, I know that I want to be more than just...†“Yeah†“...good friends.†I stopped immediately when I realised what was happening. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?†Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 What the hell? This is the wierdest cm story ive read. Looks alright though, keep it up! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nickgeenan: quite a few from when she went through her ‘horse phase’, as she called it <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> i hope that's an entirely innocent 'horse phase' intriguing start, it'll be interesting to see where this one goes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 this is bloody brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 hey up ur a genius! im right into it now, get more done mate! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 7, 2003 Author Share Posted June 7, 2003 Thanks people, always nice to hear people's comments ------------------------------------------------------- I’d told her how I felt, and she’d completely ignored me. That didn’t help my confidence one tiny bit, but I knew I had to do this, and this would be my best chance. “I was just talking about us.†“Oh yeah? What about us?†“Well, we’re really good friends, aren’t we?†“Yeah, of course! You know we are, we always have been.†“Yeah, I know, it’s just that I was thinking a while ago, and I finally admitted to myself something I’d know for a long time.†“Which was?†“That I -“ “Oh sorry,†said Beth’s mum, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I’m off round to Jane’s house for a while.†“OK Mum, see you later.†“Oh, by the way, there’s some cake downstairs that was for your father, but he didn’t want it. He was complaining about his stomach again, and I said he should go to the doctor to have it looked at, but he said…sorry, I’m supposed to be going. Oh, and a James called for you Beth, but I told him you were busy.†“OK, thanks Mum.†“Bye Mrs Woodley.†As soon as she left, I turned back to Beth. “James?†“Oh, he’s this guy from work. He asked me to go to the cinema with him to see that Matrix film. You know, the new one? He was probably just checking to see if I’m still coming†“And are you?†“Of course! You haven’t seen him! He’s gorgeous, and he’s so funny! You’d really like him, he’s really into football too! I’ve been hoping he’d ask me out for ages.†“Great,†I said, lying through my teeth. “I’m really pleased for you.†“Thanks. What were you talking about before?†“…Oh, nothing. I’ll tell you later.†Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 awwwwwwwwww man its like my life story carry on quick! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 7, 2003 Author Share Posted June 7, 2003 English Second Division vs Sheffield Wednesday (h) At least after that little 'incident' I had a good excuse to avoid Beth, at least for a few days anyway. After a hard match away to one of the promotion favourites, we had to follow that up with a midweek visit from fellow favourites Sheffield Wednesday. After enduring a few torrid seasons, the Owls found themselves in Division Two and were looking to bounce straight back up to the First Division again, and this match meant that I could use the excuse of "Oh sorry, I've got training" repeatedly all week, and I did. As far as our team was concerned, we were still without key striker Kevin O'Connor, as well as captain Michael Dobson who dislocated his shoulder in the previous match, whose injury saw a start for Scott Marshall in his place. Apart from that it was an unchanged lineup, which saw me keep my place just behind the strikers for my home debut. Unfortunately we got off to pretty much the worst possible start. After Matthew Hamshaw swung a cross in from the Wednesday right flank, the referee gave a foul against Philippe Christanval for a push on Alan Quinn. It certainly didn't look like a foul from where I was stood, but the referee gave it, and David Burrows thumped the penalty past Paul Smith. Soon after that we had a great chance to level the game at one each, but after a bit of good link up play between myself and Leon Constantine, my shot hit the outside of the post and went out for a goal kick. With the goalkeeper totally beaten, it was disappointing not to see the net ripple, but gladly we would see that before half time, although not through entirely orthodox methods. After a misplaced throw in by Steven Haslam, Leo Roget picked up the ball just inside our half, and knocked a long ball towards Mark Peters and Constantine, but instead somehow found the back of the net after Kevin Pressman completely lost the flight of the ball, and allowed Roget to score his first goal for Brentford, something we were all pleased to see. The second half was just as action packed as we started to press on, looking for a goal to give us the lead. Just after the hour mark Martin Rowlands gave me the ball just on the edge of the penalty area, and with an opportunity to have a shot, I tried to curl one into the top right corner, only to be denied by an excellent save by Pressman. The resulting corner caused chaos in the Wednesday penalty area as Peters saw a header hit the bar, and Eddie Hutchinson's effort from the rebound went just wide of the left post. However, all our good work was nearly for nothing because with ten minutes left when Jon Beswetherick crossed from the left and Simon Donnelly hit the post with a low shot, before Paul Smith smothered the rebound. We continued to look for what would surely be a winner, but it never quite came. I had a couple of long range efforts either comfortably saved or just off target, and Constantine could have scored after being put through by Jamie Fullarton, but it just wasn't to be. However it was a personal success as I was chosen as man of the match which, with it being my home debut, was especially pleasing. Final Score:- Brentford 1-1 Sheffield Wednesday Team:- (3-5-2) Smith 7; Roget 8, Christanval 7, Marshall 7; Naysmith 7, Hutchinson 6, Fullarton 7, Rowlands © 8, Greenan 9; Constantine 8, Peters 7. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian of Nazareth Posted June 8, 2003 Share Posted June 8, 2003 Good luck Nick, this is developing into a very enjoyable read Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 8, 2003 Author Share Posted June 8, 2003 Cheers Brian ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Great stuff Nick! You play like that tomorrow in the match and we'll win hands down!" I turned round. It was Smithy, the keeper. "Sorry?" I replied. "I said you played well." "Oh right. Cheers." "You alright Nick? You've seemed a bit distracted over the last few days." "Well, I've had a few things on my mind recently, that's all," I said, hoping he'd just drop it and go away. He didn't. "Oh yeah? Like what?" "It's just...well, I've got this friend, right?" "Oh yeah, a friend," he said, seeing through my frankly pathetic cover story. "...Yeah, and there's this girl he's liked for..." "Right, OK. D'you know what my advice for your 'friend' would be? To come down the pub with me and a few of the lads tonight." "I don't know. I mean, I'm not...sorry, he's not much of a drinker, especially the night before...work?" "Ah, don't worry about it. He can just have a couple. We'll be on cokes most of the time anyway." "OK then Smithy, thanks for that." "No worries Nick," he said as I headed off out the door. "We'll see you about 8, yeah?" "Yeah." "Oh, and don't forget to bring your 'friend'." I got the feeling he wasn't going to forget about that for a while yet... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 9, 2003 Author Share Posted June 9, 2003 "Oh mate, she is so fantastic! I mean, I look at her and I think 'Wow! You are so fantastic!', you know?" "No, I don't know. I don't know you, and I don't want to know you," he said as he walked off towards the door. "Charming, that's just..." I realised I was talking to myself, although not before noticing my glass was empty. "Barman? Barman! BARMAN!!" "What now?" "I would like...a hal...no, a pint of your very finest lager sir." "Here you go. Anythin' else?" "Er...have I told you about Beth before?" "Yes, you've told me about Beth before. You've told me how her hair shines on a bright summer's day, how her smile lights up the entire room, how she's the best friend you could ever have, and how you're such an idiot for letting someone get her first." "Yeah, but there's one thing I ain't told ya 'bout her, yeah, and that's...yeah? You know?" He gave me a funny look, although in the condition I was in, I could barely notice he was there, let alone how he was looking. "Take him home, will ya mate?" I turned to the right, and saw who he was talking to. "Martin!" "Er, it's Kevin." "Yeah, well, you're all good." "Listen Nick, I think we'd better get you home, alright?" "Sure thing Martin, whatever you say mate! Here listen mate, have I ever told you about this girl I know, Beth?" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 heh im more into the Beth story than the cm side this is great, im hooked, get it published! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 9, 2003 Author Share Posted June 9, 2003 I woke up with a jump, and then about a second later my head nearly imploded. "Oh, Jesus H...what time is it?" "Just after 10," said a familiar voice. I looked up. It was Beth. "Beth?" I shook my head, trying to get some sort of sense into it. "What are you doing here? How'd you...?" "Your mum let me in as she went off to the shops, so we're all alone." "Oh great, did she seem upset or anything?" "I didn't really notice to be honest. Anyway, I've got something to talk to you about." "Oh yeah?" I said, as I tried to sit up in bed, whilst keeping out of the light as much as possible. "Yeah, it's about us. We've been friends for years now, but there's only so much that friends can do, and there's so much more we could do if we were more than just good friends." "Well yeah, now you come to mention it, I was going to ask you to come to the match this afternoon, and you'd be..." "Nick, I wasn't thinking about football." "Well, what then?" "Oh, why don't I give you a clue?" she said, as she started to unbutton her blouse. "Er...what you doing?" I said. "Oh come on Nick, I know you want it," she whispered as she removed her top I blinked for a second, not really knowing what was going on, and when my eyes reopened, she'd removed a lot more than just her top. "What's going on?" "Nick, come on, take me. COME ON NICK! NOW!" "But..erm..." "NOW!" "...but..." "NOW!" "..but...what about the dog? I can't do anything with him looking at me." She looked at the dog coldly, and it looked back at her. "Oh, all right," it sighed. "I'll go and see what I can find in the kitchen for breakfast. Honestly, some people..." "Well," I said as my mouth started to form a smile, "I guess we could..." And then it dawned on me. "Hang on. Dogs can't talk..." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 10, 2003 Author Share Posted June 10, 2003 I woke up with a jump, and then about a second later my head nearly imploded. "Oh, Jesus H...what time is it?" "Just after 11," said a familiar voice. I looked up. It was my mum. "11...oh shi-" "Oi! Watch your language!" "Sorry Mum, I'm late!" I got to the stadium about an hour late, which given that I probably lived nearer than anyone to the ground, was a bit embarrassing. "What time d'you call this?" asked Mick impatiently. "Oh sorry, Mick, I slept in a bit." "And why's that?" "I may have had a drink or two..." "...or ten. I can smell your breath from here. Anyway, get yourself in there and get ready for the match." "You mean I'm still playing?" "Of course. I'm not paying you to sit in bed being sick now am I? Well get to it then!!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Dine Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 absolutely top notch Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 11, 2003 Author Share Posted June 11, 2003 Cheers Steve ----------------------------------------------------------------- English Second Division vs Oldham Athletic (h) This would be an interesting match for me after the previous night. I knew that normally I wouldn't be playing, but with the vastly limited resources, which includes the playing squad, I pretty much had to. Happily for us we welcomed back Kevin O'Connor to the side. Sure, he hadn't done all that great in the disaster that was out pre-season, but he was by far our best and most deadly striker, although to be honest being able to kick a ball straight gave you that honour by default. We set ourselves out confidently, as after the previous two result we felt that we had a decent chance against anyone if we could hold teams who effectively had Division One quality sides. However, our confidence was soon rattled after Oldham started really well, and apart from a counter attack where I put the ball over the bar, they were all over us. Smithy was certainly earning his pay, and after denying Darren Sheridan from distance, he pulled off a magnificent save when he pushed a Paul Murray shot from a little over six yards onto the post, and we managed to get the rebound away. But he couldn't save us from going behind just a few minutes later when Claude Wijnhard pounced on a dreadful back header by Philippe Christanval, and the Dutchman's lob left Smith absolutely stranded. We were behind for just four minutes though. Kevin O'Connor, who was pulling wide to the right regularly, was causing real problems for their defence, and allowed me to sneak into the penalty area when he made a run in behind the defence to the right. His cross was almost Beckham-esque, and I flunn myself at the ball, trying to get the final toucg, but missed it completely. Luckily for me Leon Constantine was standing at the back post, and was left with a relatively simple finish to level the match, and we were looking good again, and probably had the best of the match up until half time. After half time, we got the goal our play was starting to deserve. Smith knocked a long ball towards the right edge of the penalty area just as I made a run to that part of the pitch, and I knocked it back into the middle with my head towards Constantine, who was left with acres of space just ten yards out, from where he made absolutely no mistake with the finish, and we were in the lead of a match for the first time all season. Soon after we'd scored though, Mick pulled me off the pitch. After the previoys night's exertions, I was never going to last the ninety minutes, and was only playing in the first place since we didn't really have anyone else to play instead of me. The rest of the match was a bit of a blur to me. I headed straight down the tunnel, through the changing rooms and to the toilets where I was sick for a good fifteen minutes, but since I didn't hear any real cheers from the away fans, I assumed we held on for the three points, and indeed we did. Final Score:- Brentford 2-1 Oldham Athletic Team:- (3-5-2) P. Smith 7; Roget 8, Christanval 8, Marshall 7 (Sonko sub 87, 7); Naysmith 7, Hutchinson 7, Fullarton 7, Rowlands © 8, Greenan 8 (J. Smith sub 57, 6); Constantine 8(2), O'Connor 8. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 11, 2003 Author Share Posted June 11, 2003 "I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up a...Hello? HELLO?? YEAH, I SAID YOU'LL HAVE TO...oh hang on, that's better. Right, we still on for tonight?...Good, good. Do you know if...yeah? All right then, I'll se you later then...'bout 8?...Yeah, OK then, bye mate. Bye." Just what I needed after the previous night's episode was another night on the town. However, this time it was a bit different. Instead of going out with some lads from the team, I was going to meet up with all my proper friends, barring one exception hopefully. First of all, there was Alex, who was the main reason for us all getting together. He was in the year above us at school and college, and so had left over the summer and gone off to university in Leeds. Tonight would be his first night back after he moved up there, and we were determined to make it a night to remember. Next there was Joe, the youngster of the group, and he looked it. Baby-faced and knee high to a grasshopper, he always struggled to get past the security, although he'd always get in, be it through the front door or the back window, as long as he could take part in his favourite past-time: birdwatching, and not the feathered type, unless they're into that sort of thing, I don't know. Last, but certainly not least, was Jen. Jen was the sister I wish I'd had instead of the idiot I actually got. We always seemed to get on really well, and right from the off we felt we could tell each other anything. I was the first to know when she had said she fancied on Rob in 7W, and she was the one I went to when I accidentally broke one of my mum's vases, and when we made a botched attempt at disposing of the evidence, she even tried to take the blame for it to save me getting in trouble. And she was the only person I'd dared to tell about my feelings for Beth. Happily for me, she wasn't due to turn up tonight. Joe said she was going out with some other friends, although who and what gender they were he didn't know, and I didn't greatly care. At the moment I still wasn't ready to see her, although with her not knowing what was going on, she'd guess something was up sooner or later. I was definitely hoping for the latter... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 this is brilliant Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
\"Joe\" Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 Yep, fantastic stuff Nick. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 23, 2003 Author Share Posted June 23, 2003 "About time you got here," said Alex. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that, got held up on the way down here. Everyone got here yet?" I asked, my eyes scanning the room for familiar faces. "Yup, and it appears to be your round." "Triffic. Usuals?" "Yup. We're over there, OK?" "OK, see you in a minute." I had a feeling it was going to be my round quite a lot tonight. "You want a hand with those?" said a friendly, female voice. "Jen! How you doing?" "Oh you know me, always good. And seeing as it's your round, you can make mine a double." "And who's to say it wouldn't have been anyway?" "Er, everyone you know you bloody cheapskate!" "I am not a cheapskate! What about that necklace I got you for your birthday?" "That was reduced to clear." "Those DVDs?" "3 for £20." "...Jumper?" "Your nan knitted it!" "OK, OK, maybe I've been a bit careful with my money..." "Careful? Bloody tight-fisted, you mean!" "You're not going to let this one go, are you?" "Not until I get a drink out of you! They should have a camera crew here for that one..." It was just like the old days that I'd missed it so much. We just sat there for ages, joking around, talking about pretty much nothing whatsoever, and it was great. Nights like these were going to be rare, what with Alex at uni, and Jen and Joe going in the summer. And my future was also uncertain too. Brentford weren't doing too well financially, and Mick told me that a few clubs from the Premiership and First Division had been sniffing around me, but he'd rejected the offers. He didn't tell me who, and how much, but I was happy to stay at the moment. We had a good chance for promotion, and I had a two year contract that I was happy to honour, and possibly extend, depending on where the club is. Jen often talked to me about where I'd like to play if I left Brentford, and to be honest, I didn't know. She wanted to know before she applied for uni, but I wasn't going to have her going somewhere just because of me. I knew she could practically pick anywhere she wanted to go, and they'd have her, and I wanted her to go somewhere great like she deserved to. She was always a really hard worker, almost the exact opposite of myself. Half the time she'd end up doing my homework, or letting me copy it, since I never bothered to do it myself, and one more missed piece of homework was always going to get me in trouble. But then again, after I discovered football, schoolwork was never really of any interest to me. My teachers always said I had potential, but that I just didn't bother to realise it. I was always too busy playing, talking, or thinking about football to be that bothered about my work, and Jen would always help me out with that anyway. Anyway, we both got where we wanted. I was playing football, and she was going off to whichever university she wanted. And at that moment, I couldn't be happier.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
displaced_seagull Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Well if we take Zamora odd for Barrett, we won't bloody score will we? Impressive though Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 Pfft. Zamora was pants in that game. He made Emile Heskey look deadly. ---------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, I'd better make a move." "Oh come on Al, surely you can stay for another?" "Nah, I've got loads to do tomorrow, shouldn't really have come at all. Tell Joe that I've gone, OK?" I looked over towards Joe, and smiled. "Yeah, I will if he ever puts her down." Alex laughed. "Hmm, he should be finished with her some time tomorrow morning, eh? I'll see you two later." "Bye Al." Jen waved to Alex, and then turned back to me. "Just us two now then?" "Isn't it always?" She nodded. She knew I was right. "You spoken to Beth yet?" I knew she was going to say that. "I knew you were going to say that. No, not yet." "It's probably for the best anyway. We don't want you two getting together, and then breaking up. It'll mess up things for all of us." "I guess you're right. It's just...I don't know, it's like...this time I was so sure. The other girls, I liked them, but...it seemed different with Beth." "Probably because you've been friends with her for so long. Not like that Claire you went out with..." "Oh God, was it two hours that she'd been at the school before I asked her out?" "It was much closer to one by my watch." "Checking up, were we?" "No, I just...Anyway, you two didn't last the day in the end. One of your longer lasting relationships..." "Hmm, and that coming from the girl who wouldn't know what a second date was if it came round and nicked her car stereo?" "Well...I just haven't met the right guy yet." "And who is the right guy?" She was starting to get a bit embarrassed. "Oh, I don't know..." "Come on, there must be someone round here you like..." "Not really..." She was definitely starting to get a bit embarrassed. I looked at her, and saw that look in her eyes. "There is, isn't there?" I started to get quite excited. "Come on, who is he? Do I know him?" "...Oh, you know him." "Who is it?" "...I can't tell you." "Oh go on! I won't tell anyone, you know I won't. Who is it?" "No really, I can't tell you." "Ok, suit yourself," I said, "I'm just gonna nip off to the toilets, I'll talk to you in a while." "OK then, I'll you another drink for then." "Cheers Jen." I didn't get there in the end. Someone got to me first... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 aww jen likes nick....thik i got the names right. has he just seen Beth? this rocks Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted June 28, 2003 Author Share Posted June 28, 2003 "Nick!" It was exactly what I didn't want to hear. "Beth!" I faked a smile as she approached "What are you doing here? I thought you had training to do?" "Oh, I had a...match today, so I...don't..." There was a guy standing right next to Beth. He was looking right at me. "Can I help you mate?" "Oh sorry," Beth said, "I should have introduced you two straight away. Nick, this is James. James, Nick." "Oh right." "Great to meet you Nick! Beth's told me all about you," he said. "All good I hope..." I really didn't want to talk to him, but I didn't really have much choice. "HAHAHAHAHA!" It was the worst laugh I'd ever heard. It had a similar effect to the old 'nails down a blackboard' trick, only far more painful. "You're as funny as Beth said!" And then it got worse. "Right, I'll get the drinks in," Beth said as she got up. She was going to leave me alone with him. "What are you having?" "Pint for me please babe." "Nick?" "...Sorry?" "Drink?" "Oh, pint." "OK, just a minute." And she went. It was just me and him. I'd only known him for a minute, and I hated him already. He just sat there, grinning at me like an idiot for what seemed like an hour. In reality it was about five seconds before he tried to start a conversation... "So...you play football?" "Er, yeah..." "Any good?" "Well, I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but..." "I'm sure being a footy player you can get loads of girls to 'blow your trumpet' for you, if you know what I mean HAHAHAHAHAHA!" It was getting more annoying. "...I guess." "Or guys. You know, if that's your sort of thing. Each to their own, you know..." He started to look around uncomfortably. From football to me being gay in about twenty seconds. That must be some sort of record... "That's what I like about Beth, you know? Knows exactly what to do in all the right areas, if you know what I mean HAHAHAHAHA!" I had never been as pleased to see Beth as I was then. "Here you go you two," she said as she handed us our drinks. "Cheers," I said. After the last few minutes, I needed it, so much so I nearly downed the lot in one go. Not that either of them noticed. To thank her for the drink he gave her a quick kiss, which turned into a longer one, and ended up with his tongue halfway down her throat. And every last second of it felt like it was tearing me in two. "Right," I said. They didn't notice. "I'm going to go..." They still didn't notice. I put my glass down on the table, and got up. "Cheers for the drink," I muttered, and walked off. From what I saw, they never did notice... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Dine Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nickgreenan: He started to look around uncomfortably. From football to me being gay in about twenty seconds. That must be some sort of record... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Classic stuff Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 top stuff Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Congratulations on the latest Story of the Week award Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_4eva Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Well done. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nerf Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 This is excellent Nick, well done. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HD Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 yay, my vote counts Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Don_Samioni Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Really nice story - pure fantasy, or is there some basis in real life? Good luck with the ladies and good luck on the pitch (although not in the clash of West London's finest)... Cheers, Don Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 2, 2003 Author Share Posted July 2, 2003 Cheers guys, this being Story of the Week is tops, so thanks to whoever decides that (I really should pay more attention to these things...) Don, I wish that this was based on real life, but unfortunately I'm much more likely to turn out for Brentford than I am to have two lovely ladies about, but there you go... ----------------------------------------------------------- "The green plastic watering can..." I sang at the top of my voice. "Nick..." Jen was obviously as embarrassed as I would have been had I not been drunk off my arse. "For her fake Chinese rubber plant..." "Nick." "In the fake pla-AAAA-stic earth!" "Nick!" "...What?" "Shut up!" "What was I...?" "You were singing again. Jeez, you make running your nails down a blackboard sound tuneful..." "I'm sorry, you know? It's just..." I sat down on the kerb, and Jen sat down next to me. "...sometimes I think I'm such a loser..." "Why would you think that? You're great. You've got a great future ahead of you, you're funny, good looking...what more could you want?" "...A girl, for one thing. I mean, I'm 17 and I've never been with a girl. I feel like such an idiot...they just don't want to know..." "Oh come on! Any girl would love to have you as a boyfriend! I know loads of girls who want to go out with you!" "...Yeah right. Perhaps they should try letting me know..." "Well, perhaps they're too scared," she said nervously. I didn't notice. I was busy trying to make out what my watch said. "Oh God, my mum is going to kill me if I turn up drunk again..." "...Um, you could always come back to my house. I'm sure I could make room for you somewhere..." "Nah, you're alright. I'll just take whatever my mum throws at me...See you later." "See you Nick." "...She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man..." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 2, 2003 Author Share Posted July 2, 2003 English Second Division vs Blackpool (a) After a few matches against the more fancied teams in the division, we headed north to visit Blackpool for another tough match. We were happily able to name an unchanged line-up for this match, which had seemed unlikely after Scott Marshall picked up a toe injury in training. Fortunately he passed a late fitness test, and with a lack of cover at the back, that was a good thing. Mick had told us to try and attack from the off, but it was Blackpool who looked the more likely in the first half hour of the match. Not that their good start was due to their good play though, with Marshall making a few mistakes at the back, once to let John Hills in whose shot went just wide, and later he misread a pass from Philippe Christanval which gave Ben Thornley a clear run on goal. Fortunately, his shot was woeful, and barely troubled the people in the stand behind the goal. However, after the half hour mark we seemed to find our passing game, and everything started to click. One-twos were finding their men, through balls weren’t going wastefully to the keeper or out for a goal kick, and our general play was much better. A long, diagonal ball from Michael Dobson so nearly created us a goal from nothing as the Blackpool keeper Phil Barnes raced out of his area to head the ball clear before Kevin O’Connor could get to the ball. But Barnes’ header went straight towards me, and after a quick look up I hit the ball, attempting to hit the back of the net of the unguarded net. Unfortunately, I hit some bloke in Row C, as my shot didn’t quite dip enough, and sailed over the crossbar. But we did find the back of the net before the half was out. Jamie Fullarton won the ball in midfield, as he had done all match, and played a wonderful ball through the heart of the Blackpool defence towards the onrushing O’Connor. Again, Barnes raced out to close him down, but O’Connor beat him to it, and slid the ball past the keeper and into the back of the net. The second half wasn’t really dominated by either team. Instead, the referee had the largest impact on the second period, and ultimately decided the fate of the match. Just fifteen seconds after the restart, Richie Wellens slid right through the back of me, and was booked for it, which was some consolation for the nasty pain going down the back of my calf. And a few minutes later I got some more consolation when I ‘accidentally’ ran right into him, knocking him off the ball. I too got a yellow card for my troubles. But the biggest incident happened a few minutes later. Martin Bullock, the Blackpool skipper, brought Martin Rowlands down in the centre circle. True to form, the referee produced a yellow card, but Wellens, who was nowhere near the ball when the foul was committed, wasn’t happy. He proceeded to argue with the ref, and found himself shown a second yellow card, and Blackpool were down to ten men. And that wasn’t the end of it. Bullock was now incensed by the double whammy of his yellow and Wellens’ red, and was furious with the ref. Unsurprisingly, he too was shown a second yellow card, and he walked down the tunnel with Wellens, leaving Blackpool with just nine men. They now had no chance of getting anything from the match. With both their central midfielders sent off, they had to sacrifice their strikers, and a bad situation became a near hopeless one. We could have scored a couple more had we taken advantage of a few two against one situations, but Leon Constantine didn’t have his shooting boots on. Luckily, Gary Naysmith did. He ran into the area from the left hand side and shot low towards the near post after playing a quick one-two with me just inside the area. Barnes managed to get a hand on it, but he only managed to knock it straight back to Naysmith, who drilled it towards the far post for his first goal for Brentford with just four minutes remaining. A two-nil final score didn’t really tell the story of the game in the end. After the sending offs, we were all over them, and we didn’t give them the faintest whiff of a hope they could claim a point. We could have scored more, and I certainly could have got off the mark, but in the end it doesn’t matter how you get the three points, although should goal difference become a factor at the end of the season, this could be an opportunity missed. Final Score:- Blackpool 0-2 Brentford Team:- (3-5-2) Smith 8; Roget 7, Christanval 8, Marshall 8; Naysmith 8(1), Hutchinson 6, Fullarton 8, Rowlands © 8, Greenan 8; Constantine 7, O'Connor 8(1). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savi Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 This is excellent Nick, keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 Top stuff Nick! Hopefully Beth will see sense soon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 woo, i come back from holiday and the stories still going....or it was about 4 days ago...heres hoping...good one nick. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 World Cup Final, England vs Brazil This was it, the big one. We had a full strength lineup to pick from after Steven Gerrard had missed the semi, and we were going to need it. The Brazilians were playing magical football, and had breezed past Argentina and Spain on their way to the final, while we had full-scale battles against Turkey and Sweden, eventually beating the Swedes in that nervy penalty shootout. Although we were the clear underdogs, we still believed that we could win it. Beckham had been performing wonders down the right, and Owen was firing on all cylinders. In fact, the only player who had scored more than him in the tournament was Ronaldo, the player we’d have to work so hard to silence. The game started well, with Gerrard and Scholes dominating the central midfield, barely giving Gilberto Silva and Vampeta a chance to create anything for the Three R’s up front – Ronaldo, Rivaldo and Ronaldinho. Unfortunately the fourth R – Roberto Carlos – was keeping Beckham quiet, his pace getting him out of trouble and pretty much stopping the skipper from getting any of his trademark crosses into the area. Instead, we attacked mainly down the left. Ashley Cole was doubling up well with Sinclair, and Cafu was having his work cut out to try and stop the pair of them. And with half an hour of the match gone, he finally failed. Sinclair ran at him, forcing him back towards the corner of the area before playing the ball ahead of the overlapping Cole, whose pinpoint cross was met by Owen, who headed powerfully pass Marcos. We were one-nil up, and the crowd were loving it. But we knew they still had plenty in the tank, and it was only a matter of time before they back at us. We just had to be ready for it. It all kicked off in the second half. A switch from their 3-5-2 to an attacking 4-4-2 seemed to gain them control of the midfield, and thus opened their supply line to the forwards. Soon after that Ronaldo was all over our defence like a rash. Campbell had kept him pretty quiet up until then, but he was starting to give him real problems, which culminated in a real chance for the Brazilian striker, who would surely have scored had it not been for an excellent tackle from Gary Neville. However, while our attentions were being kept busy by Ronaldo, Rivaldo silently started to weave his magic. With just ten minutes to go he linked up with Ronaldinho near the edge of the area, played a quick one-two before pulling the ball back to the lurking Ronaldo, who hit the back of the net for the seventh time in the tournament. We were shattered. After all, we were just ten minutes from the trophy, and now extra time was on the cards. Or it would have been had it not been for another piece of Rivaldo magic. He picked up the ball in his own half, before racing forward, running directly at the heart of our defence. He skipped past Ferdinand, and just as Campbell was about to dispossess him, he threaded a beautiful ball through to Ronaldinho. He took the ball into area, rounded Seaman, rolled the ball into the net, and won the World Cup for Brazil. “Oh for GOD’S SAKE!†I threw the controller towards the screen. Joe hadn’t stopped laughing yet, and from the look of him, he wasn’t going to for some time. “You always do that!†“Yeah, well you always bring your keeper racing out like that, don’t ya? Talk about making it easy for me...†“OK, best five out of nine?†“Nah, I’ve got stuff to do. Besides, beating you is like taking candy from a particularly stupid baby. Who’s probably blind too...†“OK then, I’ll see you later, yeah?†“Yeah, later.†I started the game up again. He wasn’t going to do that to me again, that’s for sure... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 “Fifteen hundred pounds?! That's a pathetic amount! You could raise more money by auctioning dogs! Is that worth six months of your time?†“Well, I think it is.†“Well, I don't think it is at all! I think the only reason you've done it is to make yourself look important! How dare you come on this programme and say 'Hey look at me, I'm raising fifteen hundred pounds for the homeless'! You could make more money sitting outside a tube station with your hat on the ground even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!†I laughed. I’d seen it a hundred times, but it still cracked me up. “Are you going to sit there all day watching that thing?†Mum asked “...Maybe.†“Why don’t you go and do something constructive with the rest of the day? Go and do something with one of your friends.†“Joe came round earlier. Didn’t you notice?†“Don’t talk to me like that. And of course I noticed, what do think I am? Deaf?†“People as old as you usually are, aren’t they?†“Sorry? What was that? You’ll have to speak up.†That was poor, even by her standards. “Anyway, you’ve got other friends, haven’t you? What about Beth? I haven’t seen her round here for ages...†“That’s because she hasn’t been round here for ages, or are you going blind too?†“Oh very good. Anyway, why hasn’t she been here then?†“She’s been too busy with James to bother with anyone else.†“James?†she said, confused. “Her new boyfriend...†“Oh, she got herself a boyfriend then? I always assumed that you two would get together...†“Mum!†“What? I was just saying...†“Well don’t. What do you...? Why should I...? ...Shut up!†“OK then, I know when I’m not wanted...†she said, going into the kitchen in a huff. “...And in a statement issued just ten minutes ago the Home Secretary announced that he personally will be going into the tunnels this weekend, armed with a special gun...†Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
maollelujah Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 This is the good stuff... mao Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 English Second Division vs Wrexham (h) Our next challenge would be against Wrexham, who had been promoted back to the Second Division after a one year spell in the Third. Since they had retained a good majority of the squad that played in the Second Division a couple of seasons ago, they looked well equipped to survive this time in this division. They, like us, could also boast a former Premiership player in their ranks in the form of Darren Ferguson, formerly of Manchester United, and son of Sir Alex. However, he couldn’t save them from going one down within twenty minutes. Jamie Fullarton made a strong run down the left, and crossed left-footed into the centre. Wayne Henderson came out to collect the ball, but completely misread the flight of the ball, leaving Gary Naysmith with a simple header for his second in as many games. The rest of the first half passed relatively uneventfully, with a few long range shots from me and Martin Rowlands either off target or easily held, and I had a free kick comfortably held from about 25 yards. The pace soon picked up after the break though, as Kevin O’Connor made a good run down the right wing, and had Leon Constantine and myself to aim for. Noticing there were quite a few defenders heading towards their own goal, I checked my run, and hung back towards the edge of the area. O’Connor saw me, rolled the ball into my feet, and after a nice first touch, I hit the ball towards the far post. It sailed past the goalkeeper’s right hand, and inside the post, and I had my first goal in professional football. I didn’t really know what to do, and as soon as I decided to run off towards the fans in the corner, a flying Martin Rowlands practically rugby tackled me to the ground, before screaming "YESSSSSSSSSS!" into my ear. He seemed to be more excited that I was, and that was saying something. Suddenly it felt different when I was on the ball. I had a new wave of confidence every time I touched the ball, which was perfectly summed up a few minutes later. I got the ball forty yards out, and looked up to see O’Connor and Constantine well marked. So I took one touch, and smashed it towards the top corner. The keeper didn’t even bother moving. Whether he knew that it was going over was anyone’s guess, but I wasn’t certain until it went inches past the angle. And a couple of minutes later we were three up. Smith knocked a long ball upfield, and Constantine flicked the ball towards me as I raced towards the left hand side of the area. I looked up, saw O’Connor, and after he had given me my goal, I gave him a goal as I rolled it across to him near the penalty spot, and he made no mistake with the finish. It was nearly four shortly after. Rowlands, obviously inspired by my earlier long range crack, hit the ball from a similar range towards goal. He too beat the keeper, but didn’t manage to beat the frame of the goal, as it rattled the crossbar and bounced out again. With a bit of luck it would have fallen to me, but instead it fell to Daniel Bennett, who hoofed it down the pitch. The rest of the match was fairly sterile. We knew we’d won, they knew they’d lost, and no-one seemed to be bothered about adding to the three-nil scoreline, which was the final result. For just over an hour of the match we completely outplayed them, and created numerous chances that could have made an already convincing scoreline into a thrashing. They never threatened to put the ball in our half, let alone the goal, and that made things a lot easier for us. In the end I was probably the happiest of all the players after my goal, but I knew there would be better days ahead, hopefully sooner rather than later... Final Score:- Brentford 3-0 Wrexham Team:- (3-5-2) Smith 7; Roget 8, Christanval 8, Marshall 8; Naysmith 8(1), Hutchinson 8, Fullarton 8, Rowlands © 8, Greenan 8(1); Constantine 8, O'Connor 8(1). After the opening five games of the season, we were well placed in the table. <pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre"> P GD Pts 1 Notts Co 5 +8 13 2 Sheff Wed 5 +7 13 ----------------------------------- 3 Brentford 5 +6 11 4 Bristol C 5 +6 11 5 Brighton 5 +5 11 6 Luton 5 0 10 ----------------------------------- 7 Tranmere 5 +4 9 8 Swindon 5 0 9 9 Hartlepool 5 +2 7 10 QPR 5 +2 7 </pre> Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Dine Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 updates :/ This is too good to just disappear off the boards. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
debski Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 great story, i only just tuned in, but please give us an update...! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 26, 2003 Author Share Posted July 26, 2003 Yep, a major 'sorry mum' is due here about the lack of updates. it's not that there aren't any, it's just getting them on here with is being a pain, wiht the internet cafe I've been using for the last few months determined to stop any attempts I'm making to get anything off of my floppy disc, and onto the board. I'm still trying, so I may get something up today, but otherwise it'll be midweek. Again, sorry sorry sorry sorry (repeat to fade...) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfredbulbasaur Posted July 26, 2003 Author Share Posted July 26, 2003 Aha! They should know you can never keep a good man down, or even a remotely alrightish one for that matter... --------------------------------------------------------- "Nick!" Mick bellowed. After a hard day of training, a meeting with the boss was exactly what I didn't need, especially when I had no idea what the hell was going on. "Er, you wanted to see me?" "Yes Nick. I've got some...news for you." It wasn't sounding good. "...Yeah?" Mick picked up on my worried expression, and decided to put me out of my misery. "Oh, it's nothing bad! No, no, you've won the Player of the Month Award!" "You what?" "The Second Division Player of the Month award. You've won it!" I was stunned. Not just about getting the award, but the fact it wasn't the young player award, and was the full one instead. "That's...great." "Of course it is. You'll be presented with the trophy or whatever before the Peterborough match, and there's a guy from the Informer who's come to take a few snaps for the paper." "Triffic." Great, I thought, a photographer. Cameras went about as well with me as fish do with blenders. I hated them, and, given the evidence they'd provided over the years, they hated me. School photos were always an embarrassment. I was always the one who'd look the wrong way in the group pictures at the last minute, and give a good shot of my ear when everyone else had a beaming smile to the camera, and my photos were even worse. If my hair wasn't in a state, and I managed not to pull a stupid smile, then I'd probably look like I'd fallen asleep. Or possibly all three... "So, to sum up, what do you think about getting the award?" "Erm...it's great." "...Just great?" I could tell he wanted a bit more, as he did with every single answer I'd given. Not that I'd obliged with a proper answer half the time though." "Yeah, great." He sighed, and stood up. "Take a few pictures now, OK?" He handed me a half-empty bottle of wine and a little plaque. "What're these for?" "Oh, you're gonna hold them. The plaque thing represents the award." "Yeah, but it doesn't represent my award. It represents Ali Khalifa coming third in the Inter-Borough Snooker Championships." "But they won't know in the pictures..." "And what about the snooker player on top?" "...They'll assume it's a footballer. Probably won't even look. Now stand up and hold them...that's it, now nice smile...that's good, hold that...OK, and another...great." "So when's that gonna be in the paper?" "Well, I didn't bother bringing my flash, so in this light the pictures might not come out, and," he said, looking at his notes from the interview, "we have got some really good stories at the moment, so don't be disappointed if it's not there. Yeah, probably won't use it now. Cheers anyway though..." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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