The Amateur tackle, The Love of my Life & the Spanish Adventure

[Welwyn]

Authors note: FM 2007 (7.0.2), Eng. P-L2. Serie A & La Liga,

Some off field stuff is based on my life & some is entirely fictional

It's Christmas 2007 and I've been in Spain a year and a half. It's not too bad out here, first in Santandar and then here in Valencia with Lavente.

But at times like Christmas, I still can't help but think about my past, what could've been the great life for me.

8 years ago, I was in a great youth team at the 2nd love of my life, Luton Town FC, we were ready to kick on to revive the failing club. Emmerson Boyce, Matty Taylor, Matty Spring, Michael McIndoe, Tresor Kandol & myself Steve Moore, the Welsh-Lutonian central midfielder who, along with my best mate, star striker Johnny 'Bravo' Morgan were meant to be the best of the bunch.

We used to rip other youth sides apart & as Joe Kinnear came in with us relegated to the basement and started dipfeeding the youngsters in..

2000-2001 was going to be our boys year. Taylor, Boyce & Spring were regulars & the rest of us were going to push through and take us back up straight away.

That's where it all went wrong:

Borehamwood away, pre-season friendly & I was playing well & I'd set up 3 of our 5 goals & then this idiot amateur flies in at shorts height and almost rips my right leg off.

I now have a permanent weakness (akin to hemiplegia) in my right-side (I'd fallen on my arm as well). My football career was over. I was never going to play for Luton Town

At this time, I was trying to sort out THE love of my life. Since the age of 8, (11 years), I'd been going out with Laura Dempsey. Albeit it in private since she left with her family to live in Cambridge. This is due to the fact that my parents didn't like her.

I was trying to work out how to finally tell my parents that not only had I still been going out with her for the last 5 years, I was engaged to her.

Then, 2 weeks after THAT game against Borehamwood, just after the doctor's report came through with the awful news. I got a phone call, it was Laura's parents. She had been killed by a London bus.

In 2 weeks, everything I had ever loved had gone & I had lost everything.

[Welwyn]

Authors note: FM 2007 (7.0.2), Eng. P-L2. Serie A & La Liga,

Some off field stuff is based on my life & some is entirely fictional

It's Christmas 2007 and I've been in Spain a year and a half. It's not too bad out here, first in Santandar and then here in Valencia with Lavente.

But at times like Christmas, I still can't help but think about my past, what could've been the great life for me.

8 years ago, I was in a great youth team at the 2nd love of my life, Luton Town FC, we were ready to kick on to revive the failing club. Emmerson Boyce, Matty Taylor, Matty Spring, Michael McIndoe, Tresor Kandol & myself Steve Moore, the Welsh-Lutonian central midfielder who, along with my best mate, star striker Johnny 'Bravo' Morgan were meant to be the best of the bunch.

We used to rip other youth sides apart & as Joe Kinnear came in with us relegated to the basement and started dipfeeding the youngsters in..

2000-2001 was going to be our boys year. Taylor, Boyce & Spring were regulars & the rest of us were going to push through and take us back up straight away.

That's where it all went wrong:

Borehamwood away, pre-season friendly & I was playing well & I'd set up 3 of our 5 goals & then this idiot amateur flies in at shorts height and almost rips my right leg off.

I now have a permanent weakness (akin to hemiplegia) in my right-side (I'd fallen on my arm as well). My football career was over. I was never going to play for Luton Town

At this time, I was trying to sort out THE love of my life. Since the age of 8, (11 years), I'd been going out with Laura Dempsey. Albeit it in private since she left with her family to live in Cambridge. This is due to the fact that my parents didn't like her.

I was trying to work out how to finally tell my parents that not only had I still been going out with her for the last 5 years, I was engaged to her.

Then, 2 weeks after THAT game against Borehamwood, just after the doctor's report came through with the awful news. I got a phone call, it was Laura's parents. She had been killed by a London bus.

In 2 weeks, everything I had ever loved had gone & I had lost everything.

[Welwyn]

It was the start of a slippery slope.

I rang up Bravo & McIndoe, who both liked a few too many, & I spent the rest of 2000 & the whole of 2001 at the bottom of a glass.

By April 2002, I was living in a back room of my parents house, spending my days in 'the Favorite' (my local) & Ladbrokes. Macca had been dumped by Luton due to his Alcoholism and had moved up north, whilst Bravo had cleaned up his act...well, by his standards and was working as a coach with Palace & Charlton.

He was why I got a phone call from the Luton God that is Mick Harford telling me to come down to Kenny Road & help John Moore with the New Youth intake that included some really good talents in Kevin Foley, Keith Keane, Curtis Davies, Leon Barnett & Dean Brill.

That moment saved the rest of my life from drunken depression.

From there I was albe to train the young lads, find I really enjoyed it and take my coaching badges & do some work along with Bravo at Palace too.

Then, in 2005, during an evening out with Bravo, Brian Stein, Harford & Mike Newell, BTCC team owner and driver Dave Pinkney came over, mainly to get Harford, Stein & Newell's autograph's and the two of us became good friends.

He's how I ended up in Spain.

[Welwyn]

Apparently Pinkney is mates with some Spanish Motordriver who's benefactor was a faceless on the Racing Santander board.

So, in June 2006, I got a phone call out of the blue from some wierd Spaniard telling me to fly out there straight away, we've heard things about you and we want to give you the Racing Santander job. No interview, no meeting, no nothing!

For all I know, it was probably one of Bravo's jokes. But, I was always unbelievably gulable! Besides, if it was I can always stay with my grandad in Campasol for a week.

Worked though, apparently the old boss had walked out on them, left them in a right state! No money for anyone good neither. Got some right stick from the fans for employing some wierd unknown 25 year old!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Keep us up & it'll be a absolute miracle!" they said.

Or rather, their interpreter did.

Had no money to spend neither. Gave it a good go mind. Took it to last day and we needed to get more points than Levante did.

We did our job, brilliant we were, 3-0 up after an hour, Claudio Lopez & Nikola Zigic were immense. Lopez reminds me of Bravo in so many ways so skillful & above it all, floats around the turf as if on air, doing things I could only ever dream about.

After 77 minutes, things got even better, Villareal equalised at Levante. COME ON!!!!!! Final whistle goes and we're staying up! Except no, we aren't, Silva scores for Levante in injury time & we're down.

Still, the board were pleased with me & they said so on a regular basis, to my face. Well, I thought so anyway.

Things were going on behind scenes though, that faceless guy who was instrumental in my appointment was being forced of the board. They didn't want a Brit in charge & wanted me out.

By June they'd got him off the board & a week later a note had been put under my door in pigeon English.

"Get your English backside out of are club...you've been sack.

Go Home,

Racing Ultras Chairman & new board member Refael Gonzalaz"

Poor Grammar, but I got the message non the less.

I tended my resignation the next morning.

[Welwyn]

I did think about going back to Luton straight away and get lashed with Bravo, but, in a wierd turn of events which I couldn't work out why at the time, despite keeping them up Levante had sacked their boss. So I applied, went to my Grandad's for a week & then got a call from Levante for an interview that went a little like this:

Pedro Villarroel: Right, we think you worked miracles at Santander, we want you to have the job. £7,500k p/w is what the wages'll convert to in Pounds. Are you in or out.

ME: One thing, why'd you sack the previous incumbant

Pedro Villarroel: Right I was going to tell you about this. He asked for 3 times our wage budget last season & double the Transfer Budget and promised up Europe. We are now in deep financial trouble. I want you to ship out as much as possible with no Transfer funds...do you still want in?

ME: I'm a gluten for punishment, Yes I'm in

So, 6 months later, here at Christmas....that's where I am now!

[Welwyn]

"That was a heavy new years eve! I have one hell of a headache!"

I invited Bravo over to join me and Mick, who's now my assistant at Levante & after after we'd chewed over the bones of a dour, boring 1-0 home defeat to Getafe where although they scored there goal on the counter attack we created absolutely nothing all game.

That's when then said, 'were 15th & 4 points clear of relegation & it's New Year's Eve so let's get hammered'...So we did & I'm feeling the affects like hell this morning.

Anyway, considering I had to ship out all our money making players, your probably wondering who I actually have left. So I'll give you the run down.

Ivan CuellarGK- 23, Free Transfer from Athletico Madrid B. Has 1 Spanish U-21 Cap and I think he was harshly treated out there, although, to be fair, I don't know a lot about Keepers! He's done a decent job for us so far though & at 23 has time to improve.

Josu GK- 22, The old boss already had him pre-signed for £140k from Europa and to be fair isn't too far away from Ivan in ability and he is certainly more than a decent back-up.

Mario Tokic SW, DC- 32, Commanding Centre-Half & terrific captain, has 30 caps for Croatia & in my book should force his way back in for a few more if he continues playing this well.

Lee Peltier DR, DM- 21, Classy young modern full-back from Liverpool, although not quite world class, hence why they released him, he has enough about him to do the job, defends well, which is very important to me as, call me old-fashioned but I like my full-backs to be defenders 1st & attackive threat is a bonus.

Ryan Garry D LC- 24, Never really got a chance at Arsenal & to be fair, won't really be first team here for a couple of years but he has a decent footballing brain & still has time to improve as a defender.

Alvaro DC- 30, I must admit, first impressions were 'right, brazilian centre-half, definetely weak & dodgy, gotta go'. However, he is that rarest of breeds, a strong, physical Brazilian centre-half & he hasn't let anyone down as a first team regular as yet.

Ali Manouchehri DC- 21, Very cool, calm & composed for a centre-half that young, looks like he's played the game for years, Hence why he already has 16 full Chile caps.

Ulises De La Cruz D/WB R- 33, Expierenced Premiership Full-Back with Villa & Reading. Peltier may have nicked his 1st team spot at Right-Back but he is not letting anyone down and his old head could prove crucial later on in a potential relegation dog-fight.

Ian Harte D/WB L- 30, I think you all know about Ian Harte, brilliant left foot on him, but like I said earlier, I prefer my Full-Backs to be Defenders 1st & any attacking threat is icing on the cake & seeing as, at times, Ian can be found wanting at the back, he doesn't command a regular place in the team. No-one can doubt his class though and he is a good man to have around.

John O' Brian D/WB L, DM- 30, The 40 cap U.S. international is exactly what I like in a full-back, a solid defender who knows how to defend wide areas, hence why he is ahead of Harty in the pecking order. O.K., he doesn't offer much in terms of attacking wide play but he can defend wingers and thats all I ask of him.

Felix Dja Ettien WB/AM R- 28, The Ivorian international is very fancy, looks good to watch, but to be honest he doesn't deliever end product. Therefore, he hasn't really seen too much active 1st team action, although he can come of the bench and lift a flaging tired team just by beating a couple of men.

Mathieu Berson DM- 27, The former Villa man and ex-French U 21 player had a very good year at Levante last year & is much better suited the spanish game, doing very well so far.

Anthony Grant DM- 20, Released by Chelsea, I feel that with the experienced players alongside him, he can sit back and learn off them & in the long-term be a great player for the club.

Sylvain N'Diaye DM- 31, I originally wanted to get rid of the senegalese player but there were no takers and the length of contract meant releasing him wasn't an option. In training he was awful, yet when I gave him a game he suddenly turned it on. Definetly a weak trainer but on the field a very decent La Liga midfielder.

Alexander Baumjohann AM RL- 20, I can't believe I got this guy to sign a contract for us rather than re-sign for Gelsenkirchen, he is absolutely lightning quick and how he hasn't got some German U-21 caps is beyond comprehension. O.K, so as of yet he isn't that skillful and his end product isn't the best as of yet but he scares defenders with his pace and that always put you one up on the defender before you even start.

Kike Mateo AM RLC- 28, Was playing his football in Liga B last year with Hercules before I signed him on a free and I must admit he has had trouble adjusting to the step up. I like him, I see a little of a Matthew Spring in him & believe that if he can adjust over the next 3 or 4 months he will be a very good player for us next season.

Chiguy Lucau AMR FC- 23, The guy who has scored 3 in 3 for the Rep. of Congo was released by Le Mans at the end of last season and Mick Harford said I have to sign this guy up. However, I wasn't so sure and sent Bravo & a couple of our Spanish scouts to see him & they came back giving similar reports. So I signed him and after he suddenly exploded onto the scene when played behind a loan front man & is our top scorer with 6 in 9 starts.

Gabriel Agbonlahor AMR ST (LOAN)- 21, Me and Mick thought that the England u-21 international, with his strength & physical presence he could do the target man job as the loan front man that Mick himself was great at in his playing days. But, unfortunately the lads just hasn't hit a rhythm with Spanish football yet & I doubt he will, but he's a good lad, a hard worker & he has the attributes to come good.

Laurent Robert AML- 32, I've always viewed Laurent as a bit of a one-trick pony, an absolutely terrific cannonball shot with nothing else really in his game. Having worked with him for 6 months I can tell you that it's definately true!! However, I've kept him on the staff as a lot of the guys like him & rate him, as well as his ability to create a goal out of nothing will come in handy in trying to get something out of games we have no right to.

Emil Halfredsson AML- 23, My old mate 'Macca' McIndoe alerted me to this guy after playing a Wolves res. Vs Spurs res. when getting back to fitness & although I didn't see him as an option at Racing Santander where I had Claudio Lopez, Pedro Munitis & Oscar Serrano. I felt, with him being released from Spurs & needing someone with more of an all-round game than Robert that the boy could do a job for us. He's repaid my faith in him so far with 4 assists in his 8 starts.

Antoine Sibierski AM/FC- 33, Newcastle released him because of his age and I appreciate why. However, at a struggling club like ours with me having sold every 1st team striker at the club, I felt the former French U-21 international could do a good buffetting & barging, unsettling job on Spanish defenders & although his record of 2 goals in 11 starts doesn't suggest a great deal, opposition defenders have had trouble with his style & he has created room for others, particually Chiguy Lucau.

Malcolm Christie ST- 28, I know he's had an injury plagued career, but he is a goalscorer and I felt he could find a new lease of life in a different country & although it hasn't worked out so far. I believe he could still come good & I'm comforted by the fact that Big Mick & Bravo still feel the same.

Danny Graham ST- 22, Released by 'Boro along with Christie, Bravo nagged at me to give him a chance having seen him score 6 in 9 during a loan spell at Oldham last year. To which I replied...'Well that's OLDHAM! No offense but this is La Liga.' However, I trust his judgement and he said it wasn't the amount of goals that had impressed him it was the range, right foot, left foot, headers, tap-in's, volley's. The Lot so to speak, so I went with him & although he hasn't really featured so far in action, he's a good trainer, a willing worker & he will be thrown in at some stage.

[sherm]

Nice start Welwyn. I like stories from Spain so I'll be following this one

[Welwyn]

Thanks, had actually started this on 2 other forums but, despite being a long time reader on here, never got round to posting it here. Then I had some computer problems about 4 months back & by the time it was fixed had totally forgotten about the story & only remembered when I bumped into it on Planetcricket.net yesterday. I still have the save game file too, so when I get to the current point, I'll continue onwards!

[Welwyn]

January '08

The 1st news that interested me in the new year was that 29-year-old Striker David Karanka had been released by Liga B side Sporting Gijon. Not big news you'd think, but 3 or 4 years previously I'd seen him play in La Liga for the side closest to my grandad's home in Campasol, Murcia. He looked a cracking little young prospect then and I was guessing he must have lost his way a little bit since then.

I had a massive argument about him with Mick Harford but I felt he had something & I wanted him but, for Mick's benefit, I sent a couple of scouts just to check him over & they agreed he had something, & I quickly snapped him up on the eqivilent of £450 p/w.

Then a couple of my spanish coaches told me that Ryan Garry was mouthing off about his lack of 1st team football. However, I think that it's a bit of a petulent patch he has to get through & I was prepared to let it lie for a while.

Sociedad (H)

So I went into the 1st game of 2008 with a patchwork side due to injuries. Including Lacau & Karanka, who was still recovering from an injury he had when we signed him. However confidence was high & it was a darn sight higher still when Kike Mateo won us an early penalty which Alvaro tucked away.

We had a fairly comfortable first half too, although on the hour, an awful backpass forced Cuellar to head straight up in the air & we had poor finishing to thank to still be ahead. 10 minutes later though, that same centre forward beat Tokic in the air & it was 1-1. Worse was to follow as John O' Brian was sent off with 15 min left.

His replacement at left back, Ian Harte was instrumental in the final result though as he & the other sub Halfredsson shared 1-2's down the flank before the Icelander whipped in a beauty that was headed in by Berson to give us a very unlikely victory!

With David Karanka signed, I felt it was time to let Gabby return to Villa, with regret that he hadn't done as well as we'd hoped. However, someone we had no reject in letting go was wage drainer Riga, who had finally agreed to terminate his contract.

Espanyol (A)

Ryan Garry had come up to me in midweek and admitted he was having trouble settling in Spain, however, with John O' Brian suspended & Alvaro injured in training I needed him to fill in at Centre-Half. I was exceptionally pleased with his reply as, in a game of few chances he was brilliant & was rightly awarded man of the match in La Marca next morning.

It finished 1-1 with us taking the lead through a hoofed long ball which Sibierski controlled & punted home & although I was unhappy with the scrappy defending for their 2nd half equalizer, having lost such a commanding presence as Tommasi just before half-time to injury, I gladly took the point.

I gave Garry the hug he needed & deserved but, I see he still has that forlorn feeling of not being at home in this country. After all, as I had found out over the previous year & a half. Living in Spain is rather different from 2 weeks holiday...

...and it's certainly different to living in the U.K!

Valencia (A)

Tommasi recovered from his knock and I therefore kept the same team as the Espanyol game for the Valencia derby.

As you expect, our more illustrious rivals controlled the game & run out comfortable winners 3-0, with Joaquin & Van Persie running the show. We weren't helped by the fact that Tommasi picked up a similar knock & Tokic was sent off in the second half. However, young Anthony Grant was a ray of hope with a terrific performance having come on for Tommasi.

*Knock on door*

ME: 'Come in Mario'

TOKIC: 'Yes Boss'

ME: 'Right, you were on a booking, we were two nil down, the ref is being over-strict, being a derby & all, yet you go & make a tackle like that. I have no option but to give you an official warning. If only because I have to be seen to treat you as captain, the same as anybody else.'

TOKIC: 'Fine, fair enough Boss, I fully accept the warning.'

ME: 'Fine then.'

PostAlmeria (H)

"What the Hell are you ******* playing at! We are at home to a frigging awful side & we play like a load of my ****** excrement! We might as well have spend the afternoon on the touchline, flies down, Whizzing in the damn Wind! This was a must win & we're now only 3 away from the Relegation zone! Not flipping 6!

Alvaro: "What do you mean by the...er...term 'Whizzing'?"

ME: OH -----

[Welwyn]

February '08

Zaragoza (H)

ME: 'Oi Ref!

*Ref ignores me*

ME: 'I know you speak English, where the frigging hell do you get 4 minutes injury time from! No injuries, few substitutions! We were 1-0 up against the team 5th in the league and they score in the 94th. Your so called injury time has cost us 2 ******* points! You.....

REF: 'You continue & I'll report you'

ME: 'Hey, O.K. man, i'll lay off. It's just I'm a qualified ref too & I just wanted to know where you got 4 minutes from?'

*Out of earshot*

ME: '& It's idiot refs like you who don't communicate that give your profession a bad name'

Osasuna (A)

ME: 'Did I go for it too much or too early Mick?'

HARFORD: 'Maybe, but listen, your doing at good job & besides, might as well go for it & lose 4-1 than just let them win 2-1. Makes no difference in the points column does it.'

ME: 'True'

HARFORD: 'Besides, we're doing a good job with an ordinary bunch of guys.'

I got a note the next day from my chairman Pedro Villarroel asking me to go and see him. So I did, he started talking about the debt and despite the fact I was doing a good job in reducing it, how he still felt it was better if he was to get out like he had said when I'd taken the job. He then told me how local businessman & fan, Diego Lopez Lorenzo had set up a supporters trust and was looking to raise the equivalent of £6m on their behalf (Pedro was good like that, he knew I wasn't good on exchange rates). If he did, then Pedro told me he'd sell up.

I didn't mind that, seeing as it'd be a club owned by the supporters, I like that sort of thing, unless Diego got too big for his boots of course. I didn't mind the transfer embargo either, seeing as what was I gonna sign someone with anyway!

Celta (H)

Outplayed by a side who are actually not that good, lost 2-0 and it's not only 6 games without a win, more importantly, I'm worried that the Zaragoza equaliser and last 20 minutes of the Osasuna game may have played havoc with their confidence. Villarreal away is now crucial as we are only 1 place & 2 points outside the drop zone & they are in it, 3 points behind us but with 3 games in hand on everybody.

Villarreal (A)

I get the very worrying feeling that we're going down, Villarreal went and hammered Osasuna 4-0 away in midweek to drop us into the relegation zone & then having lead 2-1 & only conceding an equaliser to a stunner, the morale levels kicked in & we lost 4-2, I'm very, very, very worried.

[SonicSnake]

I found this story familiar from somewhere in the wilderness of FM Stories. Loved the previous story for this, hope this one is special.

[Peacemaker7]

Nice start Welwyn, good to see you taking the plunge

[Welwyn]

26th & 27th February

My Birthday-Barcelona

After meeting my parents on the Monday (25th). On Tuesday, I met up with 'Bravo' & my old high-school mate Kevin Downes & flew back out to Spain, only to take a detour in Barcelona!

It was a great birthday & but for the fact I'm the youngest on the 3, I would've felt old about turning from 26 to 27! It was a great night out too, Barcelona is brilliant for that... now, if only it wasn't for....

The Girl

Her name was Jane Smith, a model from back in the U.K., doing a job in Barcelona. She was a stunner, 6"1-2, long blonde hair, slim & in a slinky black number that made her look as if she'd come straight off the catwalk. For the first time since Laura had died, a girl had stopped me in my tracks. I must admit, I was slightlty sozzled & well one thing led to another & I woke up the next morning having done things I never thought I'd do again.

It bothered me though, when I woke up I regretted it. I didn't feel right, as if Laura was haunting over me & I'd cheated on her in some way, despite the fact she'd been dead for... well, you get the picture.

What should I have done? Talk to Toni about how I was feeling & probably see a psychatrist back in Valencia.

What did I do? Take the cowards way out as always. Take her number & promise to call her in the week.

'STEVE YOU ******* IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

[Welwyn]

March '08

Betis (H)

Well, I bet the Spanish TV viewers had all turned off that tripe! An awful game with no chances & the only goal was when a cross was turned into his own net by Lee Peltier. So we lost 1-0, we've slipped to 19th & although we're only a point of the line we are now the wrong side of it. The only other problem is only a small one, that our next two games are against Barcelona & Real Madrid.

Barcelona (H)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were brilliant, we were awesome, we weren't outplayed & we won 1-0. Anthony Grant was Man of the Match & we are back out of the relegation zone. It's days like this I love in football & it's a performance like that from a young free transfer I brought in like Grant that proves to me that nor only can I be a football manager, I can be a very good one.

A couple of days later, I got a phone call from Toni:

TONI: 'Steve,'

ME: 'OH! Hi Toni, I've been meaning to ring.' (Or rather avoiding the issue)

TONI: 'Yeah, it's been a week & a half.'

ME: 'Well look Toni,....' (This is it Steve, tell her your not ready yet, tell her about Laura) '...I've got a shedload of games coming up, so do you want to meet up in London during the 1st week on April?' (D'OHHHHHHHHHH, YOU IDIOT!)

So we arrange to meet in London on the Wednesday after the Xerez game. I don't believe I've been weak enough to do that.

Real Madrid (A)

It was a good effort but, it couldn't happen 2 weeks in a row. 3-1 isn't a bad result. Yes we are in the relegation zone, but we've played the hardest games now & we are only behind by one goal on goal difference.

Athletic (A)

ME: 'We can't afford to continue to lose these sorts of games 1-0. We played as well as them & ended up losing. We can't keep doing it.'

MICK: 'Steve, Numancia lost 2-0 @ Betis.'

ME: 'So what, if we'd have got a point we now be out of the relegation zone.'

Friday Morning

MICK: 'Steve, it's looking like Ulises is getting a bit uppety about his lack of 1st team footy.'

ME: 'If De La Cruz wants to make a point of it, he should come to me. If he does, I'll tell him that Peltier is keeping him out the team and that's the end of the issue.'

Afternoon

*Phone Rings*

ME: 'Hello?'

PEDRO: 'Hi Steve, just ringing to let you know that the takeover's gone through and I'm handing over to Diego, who as you know will be chairman on behalf of the supporters club, later on this evening, after siesta.'

ME: 'Thanks a lot Pedro, for all the support you've given me.'

Deportivo (A)

Never at the races, outplayed, murdered down the flanks & deservedly thrased 4-0 and what's worse was that Numancia drew! We are now a point behind as we go into the most important stage of our season so far....Bottom side Xerez at Home, 12th placed Getafe away & then Numancia themselves come to Valencia. With a new chairman to impress as well!

Xerez (H)

I don't care that the ref spoilt the game by sending us down to 9 & Xerez to 10....WE WON 2-0!!!!! We got the job done, we are also outside the relegation zone going into April & De La Cruz's ball to Sibierski for the 2nd was sheer magic!

[Welwyn]

April '08

So I went back to the U.K. to see Toni...

...I'd forgotten how absolutely stunning she is. However, I need to sort out this mess I'm in. No matter how beautiful she is and how much I want to take it further, I know I'm not ready for a sexual relationship but I'm also scared that my cowardice will get the better of me and I'll leave myself in this situation for even longer.

But I did it. I told her everything, my life story, Laura, everything. The best thing about it was that she was sympathetic and understanding about it all. Which, on the other hand, makes it all the harder for me to tell her that I don't want to have that sort of relationship with her.

Getafe (A)

Well, we gave it a shot, we lost 2-1 although our goal forced a hairy scary last 10 minutes...

It's gonna be a hairy scary last 8 games too. Xerex are as good as down & that leaves Numancia & Almeria on 26 points, us on 27 points & Espanyol on 28. 2 of us are going down. If we can beat Numancia next week back in Valencia it would be SOOO vital.

West Brom V Luton (Wembley)

You'd think that the day before such a massive relegation clash I'd be intendly watching video's, training the boys & instilling tactics into them. Not when Mike Newell has taken mine, Mick's & Bravo's beloved Hatters to an F.A. Cup Semi at Wembley! Where the hell do you think we'd be!

I'd actually went to see Toni the day before too and to meet up wit her purely as a friend felt really quite good. It felt like I had a lifted the world off my shoulders and it felt brilliant.

Although going to the game didn't seem like such a good idea when Ellington had slotted home after 6 minutes & we were awful & lucky to only be one down at the half......

....Then Stephen O' Leary battled and won the ball, played it sideways to Matty Spring 30 yards away from the goal in front of us & we could see it open up for him, as did 35,000 other Hatters who all shouted 'SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT' So he did, it flew in the TOP CORNER!!!!!!!!!!

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

30 Minutes to go & the rest of the game was as cagey as anything you'd expect. It's going to extra time. Which is a darn sight better than against Chelsea 14 years ago (2-0). It's injury time and Stephen O' Halloran has just hoofed one downfield in the vain hope that it finds Sam Parkin... Hold Up, Clement's put it out for a corner....

Right in front of our fans to our right everyone is rising to their feet to lift O' Leary for one last corner... It's a deliberatly long one, deep beyond the far post, Coyne heads it back across & it's BRRRRRKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVIIIIIIICC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's an overhead kick special from the Croatian Sensation & WE ARE IN THE CUP FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Numancia (H)

If that wasn't good enough for a weekend, beating Numancia 2-0 in such a vital game, with everyone stepping up to the mark, with Felix Dja Ettien playing like well, Scotty Oakes at his best! (I know you non-Luton fans won't know who the hell he was but trust me he was very, very good).

Oh, there was some bad news...Although they took the lead, Northampton lost to Man Utd 3-1 in the other Semi so it's Luton V Man Utd. Final.

Recreativo (A)

ME: 'That was an unbelievable result. 3-0, totally superb! I think we may have to agree that we've both got it wrong with Felix, he's been brilliant, top draw! Like Kingsley Black in his pomp.'

MICK: 'True mate, Although Felix doesn't quite the same ability of crosses that I used to gobble up from Kingsley! *Laughs*. Don't forget Chiguy Lucau either, two more today, looking lethal in the hole behind Sibierski, like his early season form.

ME: 'Totally, now 14th, Brilliant stuff.'

Espanyol (H)

Not our best performance, but hard-working and with a rather large part played by Ivan Cuellar between the sticks a decent 0-0.

Sevilla (H)

90th Minute

ME: This has been a really good, hardfought point, another good grafty 0-0.

MICK: Hold it up Steveo, Felix is round the back....

ME:.....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.: We are now 14th & 9 points away from the relegation zone with only 4 games to play.

[danny.harv]

Great Start.

KUTGW

[Welwyn]

May '08

Athletico (A)

*At Referee*

ME: 'What the hell are you playing at Ref! Call that a Penalty, not on your life mate! You've cost us the game & not only that... Alexy (Baumjohann) was crocked and will miss the rest of the season & what do you do to the culprit? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU IDIOT!

Real Sociedad

ME: 'That was an absolutely dire game Mick!'

MICK: 'What does it matter though!'

ME: Too right, 0-0 enough to keep us up with 2 games to spare.'

*Phone Rings*

ME: 'Hello?'

DIEGO: 'Hi, it's Diego, I'd like to discuss a new contract with you.'

So we thrashed out a new deal. Doubling my Wages to the equlivalent of £15k/year. He even offered me almost £500k transfer kitty, however I asked him to drop that down in favour of an increased wage budget so I could raid the Bosman's. We shook on it and it was sorted & I could plan for next season.

Valencia (H)

ME: O.K. Mick, maybe you were right about David Karanka, seeing as he hasn't had much of an impact but he'll be a Levante legend now, winner in the derby!

*Laughs all round*

I saw Lassana Diarra on the Bosman list & felt that he has to be an option to be taken up. Amazingly, he was quick to snap it up & he'll be a Levante player next year & it allows me to get rid of Sylvain N'Diaye for £250k because he simply isn't going to get 1st team football with the guys ahead of him. However, he rejected the contract from the team that wanted him!

Oh & by the way, we finished 14th!

So, just before we left for the Cup Final, me & Mick had a discussion about where we need to improve. We felt that the key area was up front... 9 goals scored by your top scorer, even if two of them reached it (Sibierski & Lucau). The number one need was a new target man as nobody could fill the role of the ageing Sibierski, and we need someone who can be lethally dangerous behind the target man if Lucau is injured.

In the target man role we saw that both David Nugent & Billy Sharp's contracts were up soon & we placed offers in for them & for the role behind them, Harford recommended Roberto Batres from Athletico, who caused havoc on the last day against us playing for relegated Almeria's in their 4-0 thumping of us.

Man Utd. V LUTON (Wembley) {F.A. Cup Final}

So what if it was 2-0 and comfortable. So what if we didn't create a chance, we had the best day out of our lives. Luton in the Cup Final at Wembley. We had the best laugh of our lives! Plus Luton in Europe next year!

'MIKE NEWELL'S BARMY ARMY!!!!!!'

Anyway, before the game, David Nugent's agent rung me to say that there is absolutely no chance of him signing for Levante so I left for Scunthorpe desperate to get the Sharpy! 3 Hours later, I left for Manchester Airport having got my man's signature on a contract. Billy Sharp was going to be playing for Levante next year! Having said that I got some bad news whilst at the Airport where I received news that Batres had signed a new deal at Athletico.

So it was time to draw up a list of guys to back up Lacau. Benjamin Lauth was the man we wanted but eventually he turned us down, so it was back to the list. On the other hand, Mick told me that he felt Laurent Robert was now past it at this level & to be honest I was thinking that when I joined the club 12 months ago, he provided decent service for a season but it was time to go out & replace him on the left wing.

[Welwyn]

Summer 2008

I spent most of the summer busy, not on football matters half the time either! When I’d been in the start of my rehabilitation process, I spent a couple of summers working at an English foreign language in East London and my boss for one of the years was the good Doctor, Chris Smith. What he has a doctorate in, I still don’t know but he is a top-class rugby referee and was able to get me tickets for the Wales-Ireland grand slam game in 2005. Now, knowing that I owe him one for it, I couldn’t really ignore him when he called me up saying he was desperately short of staff & could I help out for a couple of weeks. I was in the country on the heels of Bobby Convey, on a free from Reading anyway, so it wasn’t too much out of my way anyway.

Whilst there, I did a few things that I think I had always needed too. I rode on a red London bus, the object of my hatred for it’s part in Laura’s death, and I went to see ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ for the first time since the day that I proposed to Laura.

I also met someone who I thought I’d never see again; Jahiya Safina & I had met when she was a student the previous time I was working for Embassy CES. This time she was a co-worker and we relived old times, good laughs we’d had and we were having a good time.

Then, with the Bobby Convey deal sorted that afternoon, we all went out for a few drinks on a Friday night with all the co-workers, we all got drunk, enjoyed ourselves & before I knew it, me & Jahiya were curled up in bed, snogging, her beautiful thighs pressing up against me inviting me, almost teasing me to take it further. So I did, we enjoyed ourselves & we spent the rest of our nights in London, having what we termed ‘Long-term Casual Sex’. I think we could safely say that, although I would never forget Laura, I am at least over her enough to move on relationship-wise. Or at least, that’s what Toni said, along with the rider ‘I only wish you’d done that when you were with me!’ To which I could only say ‘Sorry’.

I went back to Spain, signed a very decent back-up to Lucau in Oskitz from Sociedad. Sold Kike Mateo for $500k, I also released N’Diaye & Laurent Robert, who, like I have previously mentioned were now surplus to requirements. Near the end of July, I went to the End of Season presentation evening that was organised by the Levante supporters’ trust that now has majority control of the club. For those interested:

Fans Player of the Year: Chiguy Lucau

Staff Player of the Year: Chiguy Lucau

Player’s Player of the Year: Mario Tokic

Young Player of the Year: Anthony Grant

I was not entirely there though, I was really thinking about my upcoming ‘scouting trip’ to Moscow!

[Welwyn]

August 2008

The month started really relaxed. I got back from Moscow, albeit having not watched any football! There was nothing to do for the first week. Then suddenly, I was inundated with a load of meetings in the second week.

First of all, Chairman Diego asked for me to come upstairs for ‘a chat’. My mind really did start racing, I remembered how the Santander Ultras got rid of my a year ago. Surely not again! But no, apparently a member of the supporters had won the Spanish National Lottery, or something like that and had ploughed a few million into the club & it meant I now had the equivalent of £2.5 million afforded to me as a transfer budget. I don’t really want to use it, but it’s a useful safety net.

Midweek, Mick came in with the list of the players that had now under a year on their contract. Most of those who I was desperate to avoid a Bosman pinching were extremely happy to discuss a new contract & dealing with them was simple, easy & almost a pleasure. Then came my lynchpin, club captain & leader Mario Tokic:

ME: ‘Hi Mario, look, you’re vital for this club & I’d like to extend your stay at the club beyond the next year.’

TOKIC: ‘Well, if I’m brutally honest with you, I want to look at all the possible avenues that are available to me for next season & I don’t want to get into contract discussions just yet.’

ME: ‘Well, like I say, your vital for this club, I’ve sent a contract offer to your agent that I’m sure he’ll agree reflects how vital we feel your are to this club. Give it some thought mate…Seriously.’

TOKIC: ‘Will do boss.’

Somehow, I didn’t fancy the chances of us getting his signature on that. Scum of the earth agents, most of them anyway. Mario’s is definitely playing him like a fiddle, he loves this club, he wants to stay but his agent is not letting him think for himself.

A couple of days later, Mick came up to me saying that Ryan Garry asked him if he could come up to the office after training. With the way he had failed to settle into Spanish life off the field last year, despite his good form on it, I suspected that he wanted to go home. I couldn’t blame him; Spain isn’t exactly North London is it!

*Tentative knock at the door*

GARRY: ‘It’s Ryan Garry.’

ME: ‘Sure mate, come in. Doors open, I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t be!’

GARRY: *Stifled laughter as he comes in*

ME: ‘Have a seat Ryan. How’s it going? I appreciate you’ve not found Spain that easy.’

GARRY: ‘Well boss, I feel a lot better. I went home for a few weeks this summer, came back and I’m starting to settle in here. The language lessons are going better & to be frank boss. I want to stay here longer now.’

ME: ‘That’s an inventive way of asking for a new contract!’*Laugh* ‘Only joking mate. That’s brilliant. You’ve been good on the field & although I think we should wait & see how it goes with view to a longer contract, I’m ecstatic with the news.’

I gave Mario a week before calling him back in:

ME: ‘So, what do you think?’

TOKIC: ‘I’m not saying anything until my agent gets here.’

ME: ‘Let’s sort this out like adults, either you want to sign or not.’

TOKIC: ‘I said, I’m not saying anything until my agent gets here.’

So we wait for an hour & 15 minutes until this small, fat bloke waltzes in smoking a huge Cuban cigar. Looking like a right Eastern-European Eric Hall.

‘For starters, in my office there’s no smoking, so you can put that awful thing out straight away!’

We then proceeded to have a 5-minute argument about his cigar followed by a 40-minute one about why he wouldn’t let him sign a new contract despite the fact that he likes it here & there are huge terms on the table. The end result was the idiot walking out when it was clear he didn’t have a negotiating leg to stand on & Mario following him out the door.

After all that, it was almost time to actually play some competitive football!

Osasuna (A)

Before the game I discussed with Mario about how contracts & politics were off the field issues & he’s still a key member & leader of this side.

He did listen, not that we played very well. Defensively we were fine but we were awful going forward. 1 shot on target & thank god we kept a clean sheet, cause I dread what to think should our defense not turn up one week with our attack playing as it is!

Celta (H)

So we lost 2-1. Oh well, all I can say is that after the cheap penalty, which Sharpy put away for his first Levante goal. They scored with a brilliantly slick team move & one mistake at marking a cross. The positives are, in the second half, we actually started to look half-threatening going forward.

[Welwyn]

September 2008

After the relaxation of an international weekend & a fairly comfortable monthly board meeting it only took until the 3rd for things to take a turn for the worse. Lassana Diarra was feeling his shins in training. So I told him to get it looked at by the club doctor & the news was awful. He’s got shin splints & he needs to see a specialist. Meaning he’ll be out for a month. To top that off, Lucau is off playing for Congo so will miss the Betis game!

Betis (A)

To top that off, keeper Iván Cuéllar stubbed his finger on Thursday & although declared fit to start, certainly didn’t look 100%. I dropped him to the bench for Josu as a result.

Not that he could’ve done anything about the fact we didn’t wake up until 10 minutes in. By which time, Ziegler had scored a free header. The lads deserve some credit though, when they did wake up, they gave as good as they got. The reward came in strange circumstances at the end of the 1st half when Josu’s long punt was missed by Oskitz & the Betis defender, everybody stopped except Billy Sharp & suddenly, we were level.

Full Time

‘Oi, Lino! What the hell are you playing at! How is a guy, minding his own business in the middle of the box, interfering with play when the ball went in straight from the left wing…NOWHERE NEAR FLIPPING SIBIERSKI! You’ve cost us a point you little twerp! That was a perfectly good equalizer!’

Oh, it gets worse too, after losing that game 2-1 to Betis…It’s Real Madrid next.

Luton V FC Twente (UEFA Cup 1st round, 1st leg)

Before that though, it was back home to see our boys 1st foray into Europe. Not that it was a good idea. Typical old-school Hatters, we dominate, concede the softest of goals, have one disallowed & lose 1-0.

Real Madrid (H)

‘Nothing to lose lads…they’re expected to turn us over, we literally have everything to gain.’

We only did gain everything as well….WE ONLY BLOODY DONE IT!

One set piece, one time Madrid don’t mark properly, one time Oskitz is unmarked at the back stick. One cool finish, ONE FLAMING NIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got some pleasing comments from Capello after the game too. Which is always good to receive from such a successful & experienced manager. All that really matters is we finally got 3 points.

Deportivo (H)

‘Ref! 2 Head injuries, caused by 2 awful fouls, with 2 of my players crocked…YET YOU DON’T EVEN BOOK ANYONE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT!’

Still, we got a hard earned 0-0 draw & the injuries aren’t serious but it’s the principle of it that bothers me because they were 2 diabolical ‘challenges’.

Espanyol (A)

‘NOW THAT LADS!….. Well, I don’t know what to say but we were diabolical. I’m…errrrrr…lost for words & how we only lost 2-0 I don’t know.’

It’s true though, we were really awful. Our goal was a flukey one & a fair result would’ve been 3 or 4-0. On top of that, for my sins, I’m of to Holland in the faint hope Luton go to Enschede & win!

FC Twente V Luton (UEFA CUP 1st Round, 2nd Leg)

It gets worse too, I get a phone call whilst in Holland telling me Mathieu Berson has pulled his hamstring. DAMN & BLAST IT!

Luton lost 1-0 too, things have not gone well this week!

Athletic (H)

ME: ‘Another Ref is gonna cost us a ******* point!’

MICK: ‘Too right, that was never a penalty, but there’s still 5 minutes le….

JOINT: ‘YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!’ ME: ANTHONY GRANT YOU BEAUTTTTYYYYYYY!

MICK: ‘What a goal that was.’

ME: ‘Brilliant, we’ve popped in two crackers today…from our so called ‘Defensive’ Midfielders!’

[Welwyn]

October (start) 2008

Mallorca (A)

Well, it’s away from home & it’s a point, which I would’ve taken beforehand. However, if only we could’ve finished! We totally outplayed them but 0-0.

Now the bleeding press is talking about 3 games without a win. This is despite the fact that 3 of them are draws & our win before that was at home to Real ******* Madrid.

Now, another international week & 11 days before our next game. So I went back to the U.K. to talk to Toni about something that was really troubling me, something that is more important than football. I’d been worried about my relationship Jahiya & the fact that it was just sex. It meant, that despite the obvious distance between us that could attribute to why I didn’t engage it into a more serious relationship, I felt guilty & that I was just using her.

I got a huge shock when we met up though. I don’t know how they met, but Toni was sitting there talking to, of all people, ELIZABETH DAWBER! One of my oldest friends & the first person I ever told about Laura’s death. I hadn’t talked to her in what, 3-4 years, ever since she went to work in Thailand for a year.

She was my greatest friend in the years of what I could well consider my depression; she desperately tried to help me no matter how much of a hopeless case I must have seemed. Even if she could never work out whom she was. Lizzie one week, Beth the next. Straight one week, Lesbian the next! True, that’s what funny things Uni can do to change you. Still, she’s sorted now, married with a kid! Not that it was her love life we were there to talk about but still, it was good to catch up after all these years.

We talked about, well, everything. Afterwards I think we realized my problems actually run a lot deeper, I don’t know why we ever thought they weren’t. They always were before. Although, the distance is an issue we discussed, that’s not it, I certainly shouldn’t be guilty about Jahiya, because she’s fine with the terms of our relationship. It’s all about Laura & me again!

[Welwyn]

I don’t think I’ll ever get over Laura. Not fully anyway. I still wake up at times from Nightmares of me having this hellish mental image of the bus & her lying on the floor in a pool of blood & oh god, I don’t want to think about it, I’m in tears now.

I don’t only think about that. I often think about the good times we spent together. The night I proposed to her in particular. The sheer genius of ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, the brilliance of the music, the extravagance of the restaurant but more importantly the beauty of ‘my Christine’ Laura & the happiness of her face when she said that one little wonderful word, ‘Yes’.

What I’m guilty of at the minute. I think now, is how little my relationship with Jahiya matters to me in comparison with my relationship with Laura.

I hear so many songs, about love, death & loss. The truth is I have not heard a single song that comes even close to how I feel about Laura, every single day. Think about it, walk into Virgin Megastore in Oxford Street & there must be what, Millions, if not Billions of minutes of music. I’d bet you anything that there isn’t a single minute of it that can remotely describe how I feel.

What I’m trying to say is that there is no point in me trying to explain how I feel about Laura, because there just aren’t the words to explain it. Certainly not in the English language anyway.

I’m just going to have to face it. Laura was not only something that was special & unrepeatable. It is not only going to stay with me, but also it’s going to affect the way I look on my relationships with anybody else, forever.

[Welwyn]

October 2008 (cont.)

It would’ve been a relief to get back to work! Flipping Heck, I can’t believe I just said that. It would’ve been, if the first news I received when I got off the plane was that Alvaro strained his wrist in a weights session and is out for a couple of weeks.

Still, Mathieu Berson has resumed training & at least I’m not Bernd Schuster…In the job club, sacked as boss of Getafe!

Alaves (A)

I didn’t feel relieved at Half Time, well, I did but, not about being back at work. I was only relieved that it was still 0-0. Dire. Outplayed. Goal Line Clearances. Convey Injured. NOT GOOD!

A minute later I felt rather better. Straight from kick-off controlled the ball, lovely passing, with Oskitz beating his man & sticking the football in the net. As Bill Shankly used to say; ‘It’s better in there!’

His 2nd, 10 minutes later, was even better! Tommasi wins it in midfield, does the simple thing & plays the way he’s facing to O’ Brien. Plays a 1-2 with Baumjohann, committing the full-back in the process. Then he plays this unbelievably beautiful, cutting through-ball, which puts Sharp in. Billy’s unselfish, commits keeper, roles it to the unmarked Oskitz, 2-0! GET IN!

ME: ‘Now that is, by far the best team goal EVER scored by a team of mine!’

MICK: ‘Well, there was that one Matthew Taylor scored when you were skipper of the U-18’s against Southampton in the F.A. Youth Cup. You put 25 passes together & Matthew Spring back heeled it through to him!’

ME: ‘I Remember that! Poor Matty Upson was the only player not to touch the ball!’

Malaga (A) (Spanish Cup 4th Round, 1st Leg)

So the fringe players had a go. Proving in the process why they are only fringe players. Still, Malaga also proved why they are not in La Liga with their finishing. Something Danny Graham then showed he had (about time to) & scored his 1st goal for Levante & gives us a 1-0 away win.

Recreativo (H)

ME: ‘I’ll stick my hands up, my mistake. We were creating 1st half, we even had a goal disallowed (albeit fairly) but I take Sharp of for Graham & then we create nothing in the 2nd half. Just a boring 0-0 flipping draw.’

MICK: ‘You’d better hold your hands up. It all your flipping fault! Nah mate, can’t get everything right can ya!’

ME: ‘Way ay Man!’

MICK: ‘Don’t take the **** out me accent you ****, Else I’ll lamp ya one. I’m a Mackem, not a Geordie!’

Mick Laughs, I’m actually scared ****less. I mean its Mick Harford. Who wouldn’t be? I’d hardly be more scared if it was Jimmy Case & Mick Kennedy’s lovechild.

Zaragoza (H)

Flipping Heck. That was ******* brutal. I’m not even sure that was a game of football. The physio’s were doing more work than the players. How nobody went off on a stretcher or was sent off I don’t know. We both had our chances to score but really, that was like watching a Watford game! You’d have almost needed to be an idiot to try & score in that mess.

Still, another point, 11 games gone & 12th… nowt wrong with that!.

[Welwyn]

November 08

Sevilla (A)

‘Damn, I could’ve come to terms with it if we’d have conceded a wonder goal but a goal like that, with a defensive slip from Tokic.’

‘Oh, come on Steve! We ain’t conceded in 4 games previous to that. It was always gonna happen some time or another man.’ Mick chirped.

‘But still, 1-0 like that. Flipping annoying.’

Malaga (H) (Spanish Cup 4th Round 2nd Leg)

Another run out for the fringe players, who were awful & sent the game to penalties by losing 0-1. Not good. Particularly if we chuck the shoot-out away from a winning position. I need the international break just to recover from this!

----------------------------.

‘There was a time

I was everything and nothing all in one

When you found me

I was feeling like a cloud across the sun

I need to tell you

How you light up every second of the day

But in the moonlight

You just shine like a beacon on the bay

And I can't explain

But it's something about the way you look tonight

Takes my breath away

It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside

And I can't describe

But it's something about the way you look tonight

Takes my breath away

The way you look tonight’

‘Oi! Stop it!’ Bravo shouts. ‘Turn that crap off.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s tacky & cheesy & worst of all, made by a WATFORD FAN! Does that not mean anything to you.’ (Typical Bravo! Luton primary thought!)

‘Well, you can’t be too hard on him committing the cardinal sin if he makes great music. Besides, I’m day-dreaming about Laura.’

‘I thought you were over her. Well anyway, have you seen the newspapers today?’ Bravo quipped. ‘Diarra’s put his hand up for the mistake against Malaga & is promising to make up for it.’

‘Well, A) it appears I’m not as it happens & B) I’d have preferred him to promise it to me in private. But, if he wants the extra media & fan pressure, then let him have it!’

‘Oh, by the way.’ He added with his head halfway out the door. ‘I was having a little chat with Billy Sharp earlier & he was talking about his lack of goals in a way that made me suggest he’s getting down about it. I suggest a little chat.’

‘Damn JB! I really shouldn’t have hired you when your contracts at Palace & Charlton ran out at the end of October.’

‘Why?’ Bravo looked back quizzically

‘Cause your too ****** good at your job! You make the rest of us look bad!’

Athletico (H)

The international week didn’t really work for us either. Josu & Halfreðsson getting injured for Peru & Iceland respectively. Still, neither being a 1st XI player, we have contingencies for that.

What you can’t provide contingencies for is losing a game that you played decently in because of a Lopez free-kick special & a pinball machine goal from Seitaridis meaning that Sharp’s drought ending goal means jack-all!

But there’s worse to come:

Valencia (A)

The Valencia derby & my 100th game in management over my time at Santander & Levante, not a landmark I want the players to worry about but a nice one for me. Having said that, playing 1st away in the derby game wasn’t really the way I wanted to celebrate it!

Why are they 1st? Ask David Villa, Joaquin & Carlos Tevez. 4-0 it finished, 4 ****** 0! Not only that, we got off lightly. As much as 4-0 in the derby is lightly.

Barcelona (H)

Ahhhh, don’t you just love it when a plan comes together. Lucau looked fired up all week in training. Bring him in as reward against Barca, scores the equaliser after 76th minutes. Bring him off for Oskitz whose freshness tells immediately as him & Sharp pull the Barca defence this way & that 3 minutes later to make it 2-1.

Now, if only we could find a way of stopping Messi scoring a wonder-goal to equalise with 8 minutes left!

I got some kind comments from Rijkaard too. Saying we should avoid relegation easily. Being in the relegation zone, 2 points from safety, I wish I could be so optimistic.

[Spav]

I like the different way that you relate the story - it's quite unique. KUTGW Welwyn

[Welwyn]

December ‘08

1st good thing this month, Watford are in such disarray they’ve sacked Steve Bruce. Bad news, they are comfortably 15th in the table, so they aren’t going down just yet. Bringing Paul Jewell in within a few days.

Villarreal (H)

89th minute-Edge of Technical area:

‘Oh COME ON! Why can’t we frigging finish? We should be 3 or 4 nil up by now! For Goodness sake! THIS IS SHO…..AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YEAH! What a hit Granty boy, What a hit!’

*Turns to Mick & Bravo*

In trio: ‘You just don’t save those!’

It was nice to get a call in the week from the chairman about our T.V. games for the New Year. O.K, it’s slightly obvious, Madrid & Barcelona away, but it’s nice to know nonetheless.

Real Sociedad (A)

There we go! If we finish well, we win games like this. Lucau has two chances, scores them both & it doesn’t even matter that they scored a great free-kick cause we win anyway.

On top of that the 6 assists by Felix Dja Ettien this season is already a club record. Good on him, he’s forced his way into my team & added some end product to his undoubted ability. Well done him. Onto the Christmas break we go.

Christmas was awful. It’s a time to be with the one’s you love & although it was nice to see my family & particularly good to meet up with Toni & Beth again. It was the loved one that wasn’t there that loomed over me.

I was going to see Jahiya over the period & Christmas in Moscow with snow & the beauty of the city itself, was rather appealing but just after the Sociedad game she rang me to say she had met a more local guy with whom she saw herself having a more long term relationship. So that was that idea down the ‘George’. (oops, I’d better explain that one to you. ‘Down the shooter’ becomes ‘down the George’ because of the rugby player George Chuter, pronounced Shooter)

So that was Christmas, it came, it went, it was awful & to be quite frank, you can have it back.

Things got worse when I got back too. Alvaro’s done himself an injury in the weights room, meaning he’s out for a month. Ivan Cuellar’s other half did a poor job with the Christmas dinner & he’s got food poisoning although he should miss any games. I’m having to umm & ahh about the futures of old-stagers Ian Harte, Ulises de la Cruz & Antoine Sibierski who all now have only 6 months left on their contracts & my new attempt to try & get Mario Tokic to sign a new contract failed dramatically so now the bosman boys will probably be sniffing with pre-contracts.

[Welwyn]

Sorry about the delay over this next update. Just got very emotional trying to write it myself.

[Welwyn]

New Year’s Eve

December 31st, that’s what it should be called…well, in my mind anyway. Just another day in the calendar, another ordinary 1/365th in the year. It isn’t though is it? It’s New Year’s Eve, full of hopes & aspirations, resolutions & beginnings. Not for me it’s not. Certainly, when I think about it, it hasn’t since Laura died. Since I was saved from oblivion by Mick dragging me back to the football world, all my hopes, aspirations, resolutions & new beginnings have come on the usually sunny August afternoons when my Luton kids/Santander/Levante players have trooped out for a new season. A blank script, everyone on 0 points. It’s corny & cheesy to say it, particularly as I’ve sort of nicked it from Nick Hornby, but it’s true. I now live my life in seasons not years.

Thinking about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way I ever got over the oblivion I was in after Laura’s death to even become a normal(ish!) person again was to absolve myself into the footballing world so much, that I actually turned it into a sort of parallel universe totally different to the one that caused me all that emotional pain & suffering.

Usually we’d all go out to get absolutely hammered on New Year’s Eve & well, I’d join them. This year though, no amount of peer pressure would get me out for the night. I had more important things to think about.

So I did, I laid back on my bed, stuck on my copious collection of Pink Floyd CD’s & DVD’s (see, I’m not quite a musical moron!) & spent the night thinking about…well…everything really. About Jahiya & Toni, thinking that, to be fair, I must’ve made some progress this year because of them. The good times Laura & me had shared while she was alive. The image my imagination conjures up of how she may have looked after the crash, that still makes we weep, thinking about it. I even thought about football & Levante for a while! What really turned me into a shivering wreck though, was thinking about one night in particular. The night of 28th October 2001:

I wouldn’t, well I think the phase ‘emotionally couldn’t’ would be more apt, have told you this before. I must also stress that anyone who finds this shocking to read, I apologise, but I want it off my chest. That is because the 28th October 2001 was the night I attempted to commit suicide. As a result, it was also the night that MSN saved my life.

I had been really considering this move for a while, but for some reason I had chosen this to be the night, I can’t remember what that reason was, but there was one at the time. I’d made my final phone calls to friends & family, making the roundabout final goodbye speech that wouldn’t be obviously interpreted as such until after the event. Getting into several arguments with everyone along the way over some pretty mundane stuff. I believe this was my way of relieving myself of any preemptive guilt by proving that all these people didn’t really care about me & wouldn’t miss me.

I was just in the process of attempting to finish these by giving the same thing with Beth on MSN; however, she was proving very difficult for me to force an argument with her to the point where I just thought that there was no need to, as her life would be a lot easier without me. So I slanted my goodbyes & went to end it. Just as I was to go ahead with the act, god bless her, the phone rang & it was Beth. What made me pick it up, I still don’t know to this day, but I did. She’d obviously realised, what I was going to do somehow & managed to talk me round.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up at god knows what hour, weeping & with a knife lying next to me on the bed. I was that close to, if not killing myself at least making what would officially be considered an attempt to do so. To this day, Beth doesn’t know how close to the wire I was, even if I told her she probably wouldn’t believe me.

[Dixie Flatline]

Top notch, and also a Floyd fan.

Great work. Please, keep it up!

[Dixie Flatline]

Sorry. I was writing my comment while reading the last couple of paragraphs. Don't want to come over insensitive.

Still, keep up the good work.

[Welwyn]

January ‘08

I haven’t got a clue what time I stayed up until thinking about all that. It must’ve been pretty late though, considering when I woke up it was about 5pm. any later & I might as well have stayed in bed until the 2nd!

I don’t know what I feel about my thoughts from New Year’s Eve, I suppose I knew it’d all come up when I decided to stay in but, whether it was good or bad, I don’t know. All I do know is that it gave me the chance to turn the Pink Floyd DVD back on & sing & Air Guitar my way through the entirety of ‘Dark Side of the Moon’, obviously with the exception of ‘On the Run’ (for those of you who know the album).

Anyway, I was glad to go back to work on the 2nd & raid those bosman’s for the players that’d allow me to wave goodbye to Harte, De la Cruz & Sibierski. As well as prepare for the probable loss of Tokic.

Getafe (A)

I do enjoy being a head honcho, the boss, the gaffer or whatever you want to call me. I also enjoy living in Spain. However, it’s times like these that I was back working with the Luton kids. At least they’d blooming well listen!

Dire 1st half against bottom club Getafe puts us 1-0 down. So I give them a Half-Time rocket & what happens…absolutely nowt! That’s what happens, same dire performance in the 2nd half & we lose 1-0!

Things start going wrong on the Bosman front as well:

Hatem Trabelsi – Re-signs for Marseille

Ibrahim Camara – Turns us down flat

John O’ Shea – O.K. so that one was little more than a cheeky punt but it was worth a go. That’s all it turned out to be. A cheeky failed punt.

Hedwignes Maduro – Plumped for Athletico instead. Who can blame him, I can’t.

On the plus side, I finally got some interest in teams to take that useless lump Malcolm Christie’s huge wage bill off the wage bill on free transfer.

Gimnàstic (H)

I made a couple of changes. Well, I had to! On top of that, I decided to go for a relatively large step by dropping Sibierski off the bench & replacing him with B team prospect Tino, who has 21 goals in 15 games.

With the 1st half being quite even, punctuated by the reducing of Gimnàstic to 10 men, I thought it was time to give Tino his head and took off 1 of my defensive midfielders to go with 2 central strikers.

It was the other half-time sub that did the damage though. 2 goals from Oskitz, 2-0 Levante. YISSSS!

Malcolm Christie left for Albacete the next day. It still leaves me over the equivalent of almost £7k over my wage budget. So I offered Mathieu Berson to various clubs for £2m. Yes he is a decent player but not being a 1st XI regular, £12k a week is an awful lot of money. However, no interest was forthcoming.

It was then that I got a start shock. Wednesday night, relaxing at home & suddenly the door goes. Now tonight I actually wanted a quite night in, so I just shouted at Bravo to go away.

‘Who?’… ‘Oh, Bravo…your not still calling him that are you?’

That was the 1st shock; it wasn’t Bravo at the door. It was also a female voice that knew me. The cogs in my mind don’t work as well as they did before I was a manager, it sort of takes over your mind. However, I thought about what I’d been thinking about on New Year’s Eve, for some reason (My brain has always had a panache for going off at weird tangents!). That’s when it clicked…

‘It isn’t...

...is it?'

‘I think you’ll find it is.’

‘Abigail flipping Reynolds? What the hell are you doing here?’

Now, I’ll probably need to explain what me trying to commit suicide & Abigail Reynolds have in common for me to relate the two. Well, ‘Abbey’ used to live in the flat above mine. Which, of course, I was then kicked out of about 2 months after the suicide attempt (See another tangent). Anyway, after I’d woken up from the suicide attempt, still shaking, I was off to the kitchen to put the knife away. It was at that moment that the doorbell rang. It was Abbey, who had heard the commotion upstairs from earlier on & was wondering what had gone on. It was then that I opened up to her. I’d never really talked to her beforehand, for all I know, she probably thought I was someone who used to be quite civilized but was now going off the rails. That was it. I got kicked out a couple of months later & we’d never talked since.

‘Please, its Abbey remember & I’ve now got a great job over here.’

‘But, a) why have you come to see me? & b) how did you even know I was here; you don’t like football or know anything about it? Let alone know that someone who used to live in the flat below you now is the manager of some obscure Spanish side’

‘Well, a) I wanted to see how on earth you sorted yourself out & in relation to b) us girls have a way of finding things out on the grapevine if we want to.’

‘I don’t think I’ll ever understand you girls…ever. You’re a total flaming mystery!’

‘Half the time, I don’t even think we understand ourselves!’

That produced a laugh from me, I found that hysterical. The rest of the night continued in that way. Abbey has a brilliant sense of humour. Well, a sense of humour that makes me laugh anyway. It was a great night & I’d found a great friend from out of nowhere. Oh, before you lot even dare to ask, NO, nothing of that nature happened. What are you lot, vulgar!

Anyway, it all can’t be meeting old friends & having a good time. I’ve got a football club to manage.

Osasuna (H)

& Manage a football club I can. Pretty well if this is anything to go by. 2-0 against the side 8th in the league, Sharp in the 1st half before, with 10 minutes left John O’ Brien played a beautiful cross-field diagonal ball into the area that you knew Ettien was going to finished the game off with even before he received it. B-E-A-utiful! Not that we didn’t have some nervous moments but you can’t argue with 2-0 can you?

Celta Vigo (A)

How can a team pass the ball so well all half, create nothing & then, with practically the last kick of the half, score from a goalmouth scramble! I’m not complaining, it puts us 1-0 up with Sharpy starting to show some goal poaching ability that we all knew he had.

Except they go spoiling it by conceding within a minute of the 2nd half! That was followed were 3 of the goals of the season, scored within 12 minutes of each other!

1st, Ettien picks up the ball in his own half, beats 4 men, commits the keeper & then unselfishly squares it for Sharpy to stab home. 2-1 Us.

2nd, We head clear only to see it volleyed back into the top corner from 30 yards. 2-2.

3rd, Grant draws at cheap foul 30-odd yards out on the left & Lucau pops the free-kick in leaving the keeper no chance. 3-2 Us.

Thankfully, that was the end of the scoring; I don’t think I could’ve taken much more!

Betis (H)

Don’t you just love late winners? Particularly when you get 2 in the same game. We had no right to get anything out of this game. Yet we hung on & then, in the 88th minute, Grant sticks a corner home with his knee & in injury time, Oskitz & Halfreðsson combined in the spaces left by Betis going for broke, Oskitz finishes, 2-0, game over!

Just a shame Lee Peltier has now had too many yellow cards, so he’ll miss a game. On the plus side, young 18-year-old Chilean, Jamie Soto became the youngest ever Levante player. The youngster has great potential; the only problem is he’s an all-rounded midfielder, which doesn’t fit in with my still of 2 defensive midfielders on top of the back 4 & a support striker. Jamie’s such a talent though; I’ll have to find a way to fit him in somewhere.

So, as I sit here on January 31st, whilst all the other clubs are trying to make some desperate late additions to the squad, I’m sitting in front of the TV, smiling to myself. 7th in the league on 31 points, which is a full 12 points above the relegation zone. Why, I hear your ask, am I being so negative considering I’m 7th? I’ll tell you why, there are still 16 games left & the little matter of Real Madrid away tomorrow!

[Welwyn]

February ‘08

Real Madrid (A)

Considering we’d beaten them at our place, I guess we were due a pasting & while we weren’t exactly wallpapered we were well & truly put in our place…2-0 in 9 minutes…then they just toyed with us.

Deportivo (A)

Their boss Joaquin Caparrós had praised me in the media before hand but, to be quite honest, I wasn’t going to lie about things. He was 17th…with Deportivo, so, I basically said he wasn’t very good as a manager!

I was proved right! 3-1, they were dire, absolutely awful. 2 from Oskitz did the initial trick & after poor marking at a corner prevented the clean sheet. We confirmed the win when Lucau, having come on for Oskitz when he picked up a knock, converted a third goal. Just a shame that knock will put him out for a week.

Espanyol (H)

I’m not saying that we should’ve won this. Yes, we had our chances & we probably should’ve taken a couple of them. However, they had just as many or even possibly more chances but I suppose a point is better than nothing.

*Mick rushes in*

‘What’s the matter Mick?’

‘It’s Ivan, he’s done his groin sprinting.’

‘Two things: 1. Why was he in a sprint session…’

‘The keeper coach gives them 1 sprint session a fortnight.’

‘OI! LET ME FINISH!!!! & 2. Are you sure it came from the sprinting?’

‘Definitely, have you seen his new misses? Don’t think he’ll be needed to do himself for some time!’

‘ummmm….Fair Point!’

Athletic (A)

The bad news is than Cuéllar will be out of action for 2-4 weeks. Still, at least we have Josu…

…I wish I hadn’t have said that! 4 mistakes…5 goals…diabolical. We may have got an injury time consolation but to lose 5-1…ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not a nice birthday present. Still 9th, 10 points clear of the relegation sign with 12 games left. Thinking about it, that was beyond my wildest dreams back in August.

26th February…

28!!!!!!!!!!!

This time last year I ended up sleeping with Terri Brown! Yes, She’s at my birthday party, but as a friend, which is brilliant.

Toni, Abbey, Beth, obviously Bravo & Mick, all there for a night out at Gran Casino Monte Picayo, Valencia’s best & as far as I know only Casino. We had a good time; I won at Blackjack, everyone else lost at everything!

Don’t think I exited loaded though, I blew it all on Roulette!

So, on we go, 28 years old, still the youngest manager in the league & with a more surprising newfound confidence & optimism. Something that us Luton fans aren’t used to!

Let’s go get this Intertoto Cup place!

[Welwyn]

March ‘08

When I got back from the Casino, I took a couple of days off. When I got back, the injury situation had escalated dramatically:

Ali Manouchehri – Dislocated shoulder, 2 months out

Chiguy Lucau – Pulled Hamstring, 3 weeks (if we’re lucky)

Mallorca (H)

With those injuries, all my newfound confidence was gone. It was totally shattered with our 1st half set piece defending… Still, at least while we can attack at set pieces as well as we can’t defend at them, we can rescue games like this. Although 2-2’s aren’t particularly good for my health! On top of that, Ettien had picked up 1 yellow too many & a 1 match suspension with it.

Zaragoza (A)

1-1, but that’s not what concerns me at all;

‘OI REF! Within the space of 6...I REPEAT 6 MINUTES…they injured both Ryan Garry & John O’ Brien, yet not a card left your pocket…THAT’S AN ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL PERFORMANCE…call yourself a La Liga referee!’

Luckily, Garry will only be out for a week or so. The problem is John O’ Brien, His foot is broken. If we’re lucky he’ll be back for his summer holiday…(lucky son of a gun!)

Alavés (H)

3-2, against a poor side with a Sharpy hat trick. Although we tried to make it harder than it should’ve been gifting them 2 goals. Especially considering they played for 70 minutes with 10 men. Still, it’s 3 points, up to 7th & things going well.

A relaxing international break…

…Well, it would’ve been if it hadn’t been for de la Cruz moaning to Mick Harford about his lack of 1st team football. 2 things…1) He’s a 35-year old back up & 2) He’s off on a free at the end of the season. Then he got injured & will be out for a couple of weeks. Served him right!

Then Chiguy Lucau came back to full training. Everything seemed good, until Cuéllar pulled his hammy to put him out for 3 weeks minimum! Then Tommasi twisted his ankle to put him out for a month.

Onto the April we go though…9 games left, in a huge battle for 7th, 13 points clear of the relegation zone…

…I can’t believe I’m gonna say this; ‘Onwards & Upwards!’

[Welwyn]

April ‘08

Recreativo (A)

That was a boring frigging game! We score and then absolutely nothing. Boring nothingness. Still, a win’s a win. Thinking about it to, these are the games successful teams win.

Successful teams? There’s a thought, O.K. so the 6th place UEFA Cup spot is 6 points away, but we’re 7th and the Inter-two-bob spot is on!

Then, I got the best news possible:

*Knock on door*

‘Come In…Hey Mario, what is it?’

‘Well, I’m finally going to sign a contract, my agent & I are finally happy with the terms.’

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tokic signed until June 2011. Brilliant.

Sevilla (H)

Brilliant! We ground it out & ground it out against vastly superior side to get a 0-0 draw & a point. I’ll tell you what; Ian Harte is making a case for a new contract!

It’s just a shame that Felix got injured for fortnight.

Athletico (A)

To only lose 3-2 away to a team that has Heinze, Burdisso, Torres, Agüero, Bodmar & needed to bring Martin Petrov on to win it, is a really good performance in my book.

It was then that things took a really bad turn; Sharpy went up for a header, fell on his back & strained it. He’s out for a whole month, the most important month of the season. Even Ian Harte coming in & signing a 1-year extension, as well as Cuéllar restarting training didn’t cheer me up.

Real Sociedad (H)

The tricky decision was who to play up top with Sharpy out. The youngster Tino who had been sitting on the bench or use Sibierski’s experience.

I went with experience, that didn’t work. I brought on youth, that didn’t work & just when I thought we were going to chuck away 2 points, Felix Dja Ettien pops up to give us a 1-0 win!

Valencia derby here we come!

Valencia (H)

1-0 against the league leaders, it isn’t bad, but the fact we created absolutely nothing at all is worrying. We have 4 games left & we’re involved in a battle royal for that Intertoto Cup spot, the problem is the 1st of those 4 games is Barcelona!

[Spav]

C'mon, big finish to the season, Welwyn.

[Welwyn]

May ‘08

4 games to go, 4 of the most important games in the clubs history, all in the space of a single month.

Barcelona (A)

‘Right lads, nothing to lose today and no pressure on us at all. But maybe, just maybe we can nick something if they have an off day. Got out there and give it everything!’

Well, an awful penalty decision killed the game with only 5 minutes gone. Ronaldinho put that in & then scored a beauty 13 minutes later. To top it off Vidic headed a 3rd before half time & the game was gone.

When Saviola made it 4 with 15 minutes left. The issue causing me trouble is the potential to totally destroy moral that this results could bring.

I called a team meeting on the Thursday before the Villarreal game. Having heard the Sevilla-Betis result from the previous night, in the Copa del Rey. I had even more ammunition to help attempt to boost morale:

‘Look lads, forget the events of last Sunday, they’re gone. We are still 7th. 1 point ahead of Mallorca & Osasuna & 2 ahead of Zaragoza, this is still on lads. We have 13th placed Villarreal away, relegation bound Getafe at home and 16th placed Gimnàstic away, this is evidently possible. With a Sevilla-Athletico Cup final, 7th is a UEFA Cup spot, 8th gets us a chance to get through the back door with the Intertoto. Europe is not just a dream; you’re not going to wake up in a cold sweat in a minute. It is there for the taking and you guys are good enough to take it. Aren’t they Mick?’

‘Yep, although the main reason the boss is so damn desperate to qualify is because he bet Bravo £1k in January that you would!’

*Fits of laughter across the training complex dressing room*

Villarreal (A)

63rd Minute

ME: ‘A goal is coming, you can sense it.’

MICK: ‘Yeah, I agree & it’s either Forlan or Ettien that’s gonna get it.’

Full-Time

MICK: ‘O.K. so a goal wasn’t coming!’

I felt I needed another team meeting on the Thursday:

‘Decent result lads, I know we’ve dropped behind Osasuna by a point, but we are still in the box seat. We have relegated Getafe & a lowly Gimnàstic side with nothing to play for. They have Real Madrid on the last day; they are joint top with Valencia & Barcelona 2 points behind him. Real Madrid will not lose to Osasuna. 6 points…Europe calling.’

As I was leaving after the meeting, I received some brilliant news too:

BRAVO: I got the news from the physio’s department yesterday, Sharpy’s back in full training now, he’s obviously not match fit, but he’s physically fit.

Then de la Cruz came up to me wanting a word. He felt there was no point at him being a back up at this level at his age.

‘I’ve had no contract by yourselves or anyone else. I think it’s time to call it quits.’

Getafe (H)

So, I put Sharpy in the team, he is the main that gives us a cutting edge. It’s that simple, we can’t win games if you don’t score goals. There is no point holding him on for later now, we simple have to get the job done.

‘Remember what I said on Thursday…now go out there AND GET IT DONE!’

What a brilliant 1st half. 2 goals & never troubled. 2-0. A quarter of the way to Europe. So I took the risk of resting Sharp for next week.

There was never any risk… 2-0, job done.

& Then even better news came over the P.A. system;

‘….Betis 0 Osasuna 0’

It’s in our hands anyway. 3 points in Tarragona next week & we can book the plane tickets across Europe!

[Welwyn]

Gimnàstic Vs Levante at the Nou Estadil del Nàstic, Tarragona

Quite simply, the biggest game in Levante’s history. A win against Gimnàstic & we would be in Europe. It gonna be quite a night in Valencia, because, with Real Madrid playing Osasuna, there is probably going to only be 1 half of Valencia happy tonight.

I’d been so up for this all week too!

‘We can win this game of football. You know you can win this game of football. They only have 1 decent player, Fernando Morientes. That’s if they can get him away from his Zimmer frame! DO IT & BE HEROES!’

The bell went & out they went, 18 men with our hopes of Europe in their hands:

19. Iván Cuéllar

20. Lee Peltier

13. Mario Tokic

05. Ãlvaro

14. Ian Harte

08. Lassana Diarra

15. Damiano Tommasi

07. Félix Dja Ettien

18. Chiguy Lucau

06. Emil Hallfreðsson

09. Billy Sharp

SUBS

01. Josu

02. Ulises de la Cruz

04. Ryan Garry

16. Anthony Grant

23. Alexander Baumjohann

10. Oskitz

12. Tino

Kick-off

2nd Minute

ME: ‘FOUL!!! Well done ref.’ ‘Good ball Harty…YES!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!!’

(Harte played a free kick from 40 yards out in the center of the park through the inside right channel where Lucau tucked home from 12 yards out)

18th Minute

ME: ‘Oh go in…AHHHHHHHHHHH.’

(Sharp was gifted the ball by a defender inside the box & he hit the ball straight at the keeper)

29th Minute

ME: ‘Watch him…Watch him in the middle…He’s turned him! OH ********! He let Morientes spin him too easily!

MICK: ‘Do I not like that ****.

(Ball played out to the left hand side, Morientes gets in front of Tokic who was ball watching, 1-1)

31st Minute

ME: ‘PHEW!!!!!!!!!’

*Sprints to edge of the technical area*

ME: ‘Switch back on, FOR HEAVENS SAKE SWITCH BACK ON!’

(Grahn allowed a free shot from 20-yards out, flies well over)

35th Minute

ME: ‘Run at him, Run at him’

MICK: ‘No, cross it...’

ME: ‘OHHHHHHH!’

(Hallfreðsson crosses but Ettien heads miles wide under pressure)

40th Minute

ME: ‘Your away boy…CUT INSIDE…AH…Sharpy’s unmarked…OOOHHHHH!!!’

(Ettien has free rein of the ride side of the pitch, doesn’t cut inside. Drives into box then cuts it back for Sharp who stabs it towards goal where it is turned behind by the keeper)

HALF-TIME

‘You can win this boys, you know can win this if you step it up & just as importantly THEY know you can win this if you step it up. So go out there…& STEP IT UP!!!’

70th Minute

ME: ‘We’re not creating anything; we’re not creating anything! Get warmed up lads…’

MICK: ‘Yep, we ain’t creating **** all & we’re asking for it.’

76th Minute

ME: ‘AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…Phew!!! I said STEP IT UP, not TONE IT DOWN, JEZ!!!!’

MICK: ‘Yep, asking for it!’

(Corner whipped in & Kiko heads it over for the hosts)

ME: ‘Right Alex, get yourself on, left wing. Also, tell the lads to commit more people up more often.’

(Alexander Baumjohann straight swap with Emil Hallfreðsson. Instructions to push further forward as a team)

78th Minute

ME: ‘Mick, I’m just speechless about that one. I honestly don’t know what to say.’

MICK: ‘Speak for yourself.’

*Stands up & moves into technical area*

MICK: ‘Call that a ******* header. What the hell is that! YOUR WEARING ****** BLACK YOU TWIRP!’

(Goal Kick to Baumjohann, attempts to cushion a header to Tokic. Awful header straight to the opposition striker, 1-on-1 with Cuéllar, & blasts it over)

89th Minute

ME: ‘What a ball…what a ball! Put it away son, PUT IT AWAY SON! OH ****’

(Peltier plays a 40-yard 1st time ball over the top that puts Sharp 1-on-1 with the keeper. Has got to score, blazes miles over)

ME: ‘Right, Bravo, what’s the scores…’

BRAVO: ‘You said you didn’t want to know.’

ME: ‘WELL I DO NOW!’

BRAVO: ‘Well, Mallorca are sunk, they’re losing 3-0 & Madrid are 1 up against Osasuna.’

ME: ‘Granty, get on for Tommasi, straight swap. Tell the lads to play on the counter. A point is good enough.’

(Anthony Grant on for Damiano Tommasi, moving back on the counter attack)

91st Minute

ME: ‘Heavens, these are gonna be a loooonnnggg 4 minutes…Play it Alex…SCORE SHARPY…NNNOOOO’

(4 minutes signaled on 4th official’s board, Baumjohann gets away, flicks it inside to Sharp who blazes it over…again!)

FULL-TIME

ME: ‘Is it over Bravo?’

BRAVO: ‘Yep, it over!’

ME: ‘YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS’

*Scenes of pandemonium everywhere*

*Head over to the away fans*

EVERYONE: ‘UEFA CUP HERE WE COME, UEFA CUP HERE WE COME.’

‘QUE SERA SERA

WE’RE THE BOYS OF LEVANTE

OH BRING ON THE EUROPE NOW

QUE SERA SERA’

[Welwyn]

Back in the dressing room, I broke down in tears. It was the end of a long road, just under 7 years since I tried to kill myself. Here I was, my name being chanted by the Levante fans that refused to leave the ground. Despite the 150 miles they needed to travel home!

The players didn’t have a clue how important I felt it was to me, as I went round the room thanking everybody from the kit man to Bravo & Mick, to be honest, I’m not even sure they knew how important it was to me.

Anyway, next Saturday afternoon, it was party time at the Ciudad Deportiva de Beñol, to a full house, a great way to end the month & the season.

MICK: ‘Do it’

BRAVO: ‘Go on…do it mate, call yourself a Welshman, Sing!’

MICK: ‘I even gave the P.A. man the music after I dared you on Wednesday night.’

ME: ‘Oh sod it! I’ll do it’

*Mick grabs microphone*

MICK: (In Spanish) ‘Now I’ve got a little surprise for you! Our esteemed manager is gonna have a little sing-song!’

(Use:

as a backing track)

ME: ‘I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes, I was born to take care of you

Every single day...

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes, I was born to take care of you

Every single day of my life

You are the one for me

I am the man for you

You were made for me

You're my ecstasy

If I was given every opportunity

I'd kill for your love

So take a chance with me

Let me romance with you

I'm caught in a dream

And my dream's come true

It's so hard to believe

This is happening to me

An amazing feeling

Comin' through

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes, I was born to take care of you

Every single day of my life

I wanna love you

I love every little thing about you

I wanna love you, love you, love you

Born - to love you

Born - to love you

Yes I was born to love you

Born - to love you

Born - to love you

Every single day - of my life

An amazing feeling

Coming through

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heart

Yes, I was born to take care of you

Every single day of my life

Yes I was born to love you

Every single day of my life

Go, I love you babe

Yes I was born to love you

I wanna love you, love you, love you

I wanna love you

I get so lonely, lonely, lonely

Yeah, I want to love you

Yeah, give it to me’

MICK: ‘ Just because you look like Freddie & dance like Freddie, it still doesn’t make you sing like Freddie does it!’

ME: ‘Err… True.’

[Welwyn]

I had a week off, so went out a couple of times with Bravo & Mick. I also met up for dinner with Abbey at El Plat; I call that place ‘the King of Paellas’. I was expecting a nice meal and a nice chat with an old mate, well, someone that saved my life that was becoming a good mate. What I wasn’t expecting was the third degree about the recovery of my life!

I had to talk about how I had supposedly got over Laura, how I was coping, my failed relationships over the last year & a half. Then, she has to cheek to some it up like this:

‘Your problem, is that you don’t want to risk getting into a relationship & when you do end up in the situation that has the potential to develop into such, you get worried & bail out.’

‘Oh come off it! When I had that situation with Toni, it took me ages to have the courage to break it off.’

I really couldn’t believe I was getting my recovery ripped apart like this. But, she had an answer to me almost before the words had left my mouth.

‘That was because it was your first female encounter since Laura, you were scared stiff, but also intrigued & when you realised she wasn’t like Laura, you plucked up the courage to get out.’

‘So what you’re saying Abbey is…’

‘What I’m saying is that you’ve got to open out, throw yourself back out there & mainly, realise that there isn’t going to be another Laura, so you have to find someone with different qualities to admire.’

‘Jez, that’s frank! Any suggestions?’ I mentioned as a joke. What I didn’t expect was for her to lean in & try to kiss me.

‘What are you playing at?’

‘Suggesting someone.’ The thing is that she said it in such a beautifully seductive & beautiful way that I almost melted into her hazel eyes. I pulled away.

‘Just listen, I didn’t come here tonight expecting the third degree, even less so a relationship proposal. Give me some time to think about it.’

I was out of a very difficult situation. With her being a particularly busy person, at least I had a lot of time to think about things.

[Welwyn]

June ‘08

It was nice to get back to work after all that & the first thing I did was tell Mathieu Berson he was being transfer listed, as he was not a 1st team regular & £12k a week was draining the finances.

He told it with annoyance in his face, but an acceptance in his tone. It was still a lot better than thinking about the Abbey situation

I then asked more chief scout to look at a couple of Bosman right-backs, he came back saying that 20-year old Jordan Collins, on loan to Rangers from Aston Villa, was the man for him. So I sent Mick out to check him over. He came back saying the same thing.

In the mean time, I invited Ulises de la Cruz, Antoine Sibierski & Ãlvaro, the Spanish reserve team keeper not the Brazilian center-half, to come & see me when they were free.

- Antoine came to see me 1st & I explained to him that he had done well for me over the time he had been here but, with his age, I couldn’t offer him a new contract.

- Then Ãlvaro came in, I was about to make him a very happy man, I said that I was exceedingly with his performances for the ‘B’ team & I wanted him in the 1st team squad.

- Finally, Ulises came in & I thanked him immensely for his help whilst here & hoped he enjoyed his retirement. Before delivering my parting shot; ‘You’ll be retired a long time mate!’

Then Jordan Collins signed a new contract with Aston Villa. He would not be joining Levante, Darn It!!!!!!!!

I couldn’t put it off any longer, so I rang Abbey and arranged to meet her next month; goodness knows what I was going to say though. I still haven’t got a clue.

On the 22nd, I then had my interview with the Chairman over next season’s transfer budgets:

DIEGO: ‘I am absolutely thankful of how well you’ve done & I’m willing to up your transfer budget & take your wage budget way above what it is now, despite the deficit you’ve run up now.’

ME: ‘Well, looking at your offer, it’s brilliant. However, I wasn’t expecting you to raise the wage budget so far above what it is now. Could you push that down to £210k per week, upping the transfer budget to £4m?’

DIEGO: ‘I can see that as amicable to the club, deal done.’

With that, I sent the scouts on a European tour for a right back.

[Welwyn]

July ’08 Part 1

21-year Old Italian, Celestino Marini was the man they came back with. On a free-transfer too, talking about free-transfers, John O’Shea was now a free agent too. So I faxed them both a contract offer.

Marini decided upon Recreativo instead, so I sat there waiting on John O’ Shea.

On the 9th, I presented the awards, where Felix Dja Ettien scooped about every award possible. Supporters, Staff & Players’ Player of the year all went to him.

My parents sent me an article out the local paper back home as well. It was a really well done piece about how a little bit of the Hatters magic was creating a storm in Spain. Well, that’s what they called it anyway.

Then I got offered the Nigerian job out of nowhere & to be quite honest Africa was not a place I saw myself, so the answer was no. Having said that, it would be one way of getting out of the Abbey situation!

Which reminded me, tonight I had to meet up with her & decide the future of where our relationship was going to go. As if I was ever going to forget, the sheer thought of it brought me out in a cold sweat.

I left work early & then sat at home doing not a lot for over 2 hours, nervously trying to work out what I wanted, what I was going to say. I didn’t really know what I was going to do & could feel myself constantly shaking.

I put Hayley Westenra on my media player to try and calm me down, yet even her beautiful voice couldn’t stop my heart & mind rushing about at 100 miles an hour. Then it got to ‘Abide with Me’ & I broke down, I started sobbing. The worst thing was that I hadn’t got a clue why. I really was in no state for this was I?

I was sitting in ‘La Riua’ trying desperately to avoid the issue for as long as possible. However, as I was sitting there, with us both avoiding the discussion we were there to have, I felt myself falling for her beauty.

She really was a beautiful creature, lovely brunette hair, perfectly suited to her face. Hazel eyes that were so beautiful I could look into them forever, excentuated by her stylish glasses. A wonderful hourglass figure that had taken my breath away when she’d walked in & yet, enough of that figure that she was a human being, not a stick insect.

‘Stop it Steve, your falling into a hole here!’

‘err…that was random Steve.’ Damn, I hadn’t just said that out loud had I?

‘Sorry, I was a world away, that’s what football management does to you.’ Good recovery Steve, I thought, if only I could play a recovery shot that good at golf! I might stand a chance of beating Mick & Bravo one day.

‘I wouldn’t know, although you always seemed like you were in a different universe back when we were in Luton.’

‘Well, let’s be fair, when you knew me back in Luton, I pretty much was on a different planet.’ Right, let’s get down to brass tax here; ‘Listen, let’s not skirt round the reason we’re here any longer. The truth is, I’m still very unsure what I want to do & to be honest, I’m still very emotionally unstable in relationship terms. I mean, I cried listening to Hayley Westenra earlier, without having a clue why. The only thing that makes sense to me at the moment is the football. I’m clearly in no state to be in a relationship am I?’

‘No Steve, this is exactly why you should be actively seeking a relationship to try & help yourself. So you can stop being an emotional wreck, otherwise you will be one for the rest of your life. I understand your instability, I appreciate the difficulties you face in this situation, so who better to help you than me?’

Whoa, what on earth could I say to that?

‘err…considering the fact you’ve basically just asked me out Abbey, it’s probably the most unromantic thing you could’ve said.’

‘Who says it couldn’t be romantic though?’ She replied seductively. Her eyes sucking me in with their unbelievable beauty, I was melting into them & the next thing I knew our lips were intertwined in perfect harmony…

[Welwyn]

July ’08 Part 2

O’ Shea signed for Everton the next day, it was back to square one. I didn’t care at the time though; I was still in shock over the events of the previous night. Nothing major happened but we talked & arranged what I suppose you could call our first proper date.

I’m still not sure what I want from this or whether I’m doing the right thing. The one thing I think I know is that it’s probably better to find out this way than any other…I think.

Anyway, back to the thing that does make sense, the football & I’d put in a bid for Wigan’s Steven Whittaker, when I got a report saying that John O’ Brien has slipped a disc & would be out for 2 or 3 months.

I also need a striker to back Sharp up, but there isn’t a lot on offer. So I asked Mick to check out a few players though, while I tried to seal the Whittaker deal.

Wigan rejected my initial deal so I enquired over what they would accept & also accepted an offer of just under £1m for Mathieu Berson from Deportivo on the same day.

Big Mick had also taken Bravo with him & got back to me saying he had three options:

- 25 Year Old, Michael Chopra

- 23 Year Old, Dexter Blackstock

- 27 Year Old, Nathan Tyson

I went for Blackstock, called his agent & sent him an offer. Although I sounded out Chopra’s agent as well.

*Phone Rings*

ME: ‘Hello?’

CLARKE: ‘It’s Steve Clarke, Wigan’s manager.’

ME: ‘Oh, Hi Steve, didn’t expect you to ring, I expected you to fax the evaluation over.’

CLARKE: ‘Thought I’d ring you. Down to business, I’d accept £4.9m for Whittaker.’

ME: ‘Jez, that’s a bit steep.’

CLARKE: ‘He’s a good player.’

ME: ‘Yep, I wouldn’t want him otherwise! Still I can’t afford that. Let me see what I can work out & I’ll fax you a revised offer for you to peruse at your own leisure.’

I looked at it & sent him an offer of £4m & 50% sell on clause. Then I got a shock, Chopra wanted to come, under all the conditions I sent his agent. He was so desperate that he’d even rung me himself. Ah! I’d still rather prefer Dexter! Luckily I was able to put him off for a week.

I was right to do so too, 2 days later, Blackstock signed for us. Then I realised QPR were due £1.2m in compensation. I now can’t afford Whittaker. So that was the end of that one. Back to the drawing board, because I still need a Right-back. I started faxing enquiries around like confetti, as well as putting a cheeky £1m bid for someone all three of us know well from our Luton days, Emmerson Boyce.

Then, a couple of days later, Berson agreed a contract with Deportivo & left for £1m & I gave Michael Chopra the bad news that we didn’t want him anymore. He wasn’t best pleased I’ll tell you that!

*Phone Rings*

ME: ‘Hello’

CLARKE: ‘It’s Clarkey again, so if Whittaker’s too much you want my other right back do you? £1.4m please.’

ME: ‘I would love to see ‘Marlene’ again, particularly if I was bossing him about! £1.4m is a steal for that. Agreed.’

Then I went to Italy, for our tour over there, & watching our friendly against Ternana, when Bobby Convey went down under an awful tackle. He’d broken his leg & is probably out until 2009.

[Terk]

Re-opened and upped by author request

[Amaroq]

Woo-hoo!! Glad to see you back, Welwyn!

[Welwyn]

August ’08 Pre-Season

I love friendly season, letting Mick pick the time while I just relax on holiday. Pretending to be with the team. Lovely isn’t it…

*Mobile goes*

ME: ‘Hello?’

BOYCE: ‘Hey, how you doing, it’s Marlene.’

ME: ‘Marlene, brilliant to here from you. When you coming in to sign the contract?’

BOYCE: ‘Well, that’s the thing; I’ve decided to go to Leeds instead. I don’t think me trying to fall into line with you & Bravo’s going to work, do you?’

…

I’m cutting the conversation there, mainly because I’m not proud of the begging I did for the next 15 minutes. It didn’t work, I’d lost out on my man.

So I sent a fax to Sven-Göran Eriksson at Birmingham for his valuations of both Stephen Kelly & Martin Stranzl. As well as that, I sent scouts to look at Jonathan Spector at West Ham, Neil Eardley at Preston, who is looking to move on & the transfer-listed Damià from Betis.

Well, you can’t call Swedes inefficient, only an hour later I had my valuations. However, I could call them stingy, Kelly at £3m & Stranzl at £5.75m were not my idea of enticing valuations.

I decided to wait until my scouts reported back; it only took a couple of days before my scouts were ringing my mobile to death with how good Damià is, he was an absolute steal at his transfer listed price, they said. So I matched Betis’ £2m valuation of him.

The deal was done exceptionally quickly, Betis wanted rid of him. Damià wanted to come here. I was in Spain for the ‘first date’ & less than a week after the scouts starting ringing me, the 27-year old was a Levante player.

That first date went rather well, considering I’m still not sure that I’m doing the right thing. I think it helps though that we’re taking things slowly, not to mention the fact that see is an absolutely beautiful specimen of womanhood. The only thing that really went wrong was that Atlético Madrid’s Director of Football rang on the mobile, halfway through the starter, to ask if I wanted Peruvian defensive midfielder Claudio Maldonado for £1.8m, I shouted him off the phone.

Still, having said how much that annoyed me. With my football head back on the next morning, having worked out my anger on the administration staff over why they gave him my emergency mobile number. I realised that at 29, although he is no better than what I have already, he would be a much better bet than Damiano Tommasi & faxed them a straight swap deal between the two.

I then had a look through the list of those in the last year of their contract, it through up a few interesting names:

Anthony Grant was a must to resign, even though I knew his wages would skyrocket from the derisory sum he was receiving as a youngster.

Jamie Soto & Tino were two players who I thought I could agree to sign on the quite low wages they were on now.

Both Ian Harte & John O’ Brien were ones I wanted to see how well they could still play before I even considered them for an extension.

Iván Cuéllar & Josu were both in their last year & if Ãlvaro continued the progress he has shown, only one of the two might be worth keeping on.

Tommasi was 35, in the last year of his contract & getting past it, hence the offer with Atlético.

Finally, Alex. Baumjohann had not impressed recently & it might be an idea to see if I could get a decent price for him. I put him on the transfer list for £1.5m.

Then, with just over a week to go until the start of the season, Ryan Garry did his hamstring in training to put him out for a month.

*Knock on door*

ME: ‘Hi Anthony,’

GRANT: ‘You all right gaffer, I’ve come in to discuss this contract with you. I simply can’t accept a 5-year contract, not on that financial package.’

ME: ‘You are on £1.2k a week. I’m offering you £10k a week with an extra 5% rise each year.’

GRANT: ‘You know & I know that by 2014, I’ll be worth well more than just over £12k a week.’

ME: ‘O.K., have 10% then.’

GRANT: ‘Can I go & discuss it with my agent.’

ME: ‘Fine, can I ask you why he isn’t in here instead of you?’

GRANT: ‘Well, I know how much you hate agents.’

ME: ‘Well, thanks for that Ant, have a £1k goal bonus on that contract as a thank you.’

I got better news later in the day, as the longer-term packages I arranged for Tino & Jamie Soto were signed & sealed.

The next day was a footballing nightmare as first Ãlvaro, the 31-year old CB, not the keeper, was diagnosed with arthritis & will be out for a couple of weeks & Grant came in saying he still couldn’t accept a five-year contract. I offered him a four-year one & took the goal bonus off. To top it all off, Atlético rejected my part-exchange bid for Claudio Maldonado. It ended on a good note though as Grant rung me back to tell me he had signed the new deal & would be here for the next four years.

August ’08 The Start of the Season

A day before the opening game & I’m in Zurich, ready & waiting for whom we would play in our very first European adventure.

‘Aab Aalborg of Denmark will play Levante of Spain.’

Could be better, could be worse. But it’s Levante, it’s the UEFA Cup & it’s a whole new adventure. BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!

Zaragoza (H)

‘It’s a new season, we have to do it all again & we have to do it now. Not in 18 days time in Denmark, NOW! The fans love you & adored you for last season & they want to see you do it again.’

Not if we play like that we won’t. We were truly dire & deserved to lose 2-0. Completely awful & two many performances like that & I’ll be worried.

[Welwyn]

-------

Thanks for reopening terk.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Amaroq:

Woo-hoo!! Glad to see you back, Welwyn! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nice to see I'm wanted, it's nice to be back online I can tell you!

[Welwyn]

*Dreaming*

(dream is on youtube:

)

[Welwyn]

Next Morning

ME: 'Morning lads, you lot are in early? What's Up?'

JB: 'Right, Newell's gone to Blackburn. The Luton job is there for the taking... If you want to quit the UEFA Cup for it mate?'

ME: 'Well...er....how are you soooo god damn sure?'

JB: 'Well, he told Tomlins you were the right man to take over when he left.'

MH: 'He wants you to take a plane over to Luton Airport tonight, pre-paid by the Club. You get picked up & driven to the Strathmore, you have one of the top suites for the night then you get picked up in the morning & driven to Kenilworth Road.'

ME: 'Well...er....Where's my overnight bag! COME ONNNNNNNN LUTON!'

[Welwyn]

Luton Airport:

I saw him as I entered the departure lounge. I hought I wasn't due to be meeting Bill until tomorrow at the ground. Anyway, here goes...

ME: 'How very nice to see you Mr Tomlins.'

BT: 'Nice to see you got here in one piece!'

ME: 'Yep, the flight wasn't too bad.'

*Get into his Chauffeured car*

BT: 'I hear you're pulling up some trees at Levante Mr Moore'

ME: 'Is that what Mike said!*laughs* Well, I suppose you could say I am. I've taken them into the UEFA Cup this year which was totally unexpected & things are going pretty well.'

BT: 'So you wouldn't want this job anyway and it's all a waste of time?'

ME: 'No, No, No, I'm a lifelong Luton fan. I came through the youth team until I was crocked. I missed all the work leading up to a vital league game to go to Wembley when we got to the Cup Final. I would love this job Mr Tomlins.'

BT: 'Now, I'll be honest with you. Newell recommended you but you're not the only prospective new manager on the list. I am going to admit to you that we will also be interviewing fellow Luton fan, Kevin Blackwell as well as ex-player's Chris Kamara and Marvin Johnson and also Martin Allen.'

ME: 'Well, I think it's safe to say that's quite a list Mr Tomlins.'

BT: 'We want to make the right choice Mr Moore. However, we are very impressed with your credentials and if you were an also-ran we wouldn't be paying to lay all this on. No decision has been made though and the interview will be crucial.'

*pull into the Strathmore*

BT: 'I suppose all that's left to say is have a good night & we'll see you at 3:30 tomorrow for the last interview of the day.'

ME: 'Why, thanks very much sir.'

[Welwyn]

Cherry Newburry (secretary): "Through you go then Mr Moore."

ME: "Here goes nothing, Well, nothing except everything I've ever dreamed about!"

-----

-----

-----

ME (thinking): 'This is going well.'

Tomlins: "So, to summarise, quite simply, in one paragraph , tell me why you think you should be the next Luton manager."

ME: "Firstly, my record at Levante speaks for itself. Secondly, I'm a Luton fan, a Luton man & am desperate for this club to be back in the top flight. Thirdly, I have big plans for getting the club up that final step & Finally, Mick Harford is my assitant, can you imagine the immediate uplift that he gives Luton every time he goes anywhere near it."

BT: "Right, thanks a lot. You're still staying in the Strathmore tonight aren't you? *I nod my head* Good good, well, as I explained yesterday, you're our last interviewee so we'll ring you in the hotel, hopefully around 7ish after I have deliberated with the rest of the board."

ME: "Thanks a lot sir."