SJFunk Posted November 23, 2010 Share Posted November 23, 2010 The following is based on a custom database with created team West Cumbria in the premiership (Fulham have been relegated to the Championship). The team consists of 25 first team squad members, and a full list of youth team members. Background: Club: West Cumbria Football Club, is a professional football club based in Wigton, in Cumbria. With its closest local rivals being Cumbria's previously best well known team, Carlisle United. The club was set up in 1990 by a Multi-Billionaire Canadian businessman, André Faladeau. Andre whos family hails from France, was always big on football, but was never good enough to play. After becoming a multi-billionaire business man, he decided that he would get himself into the world of football, by owning his own club, and decided that he would do so in the home of the game England. However instead of buying out a current team, Andre wanted to build a club up from scratch, and settled upon the location of Silloth in Cumbria as the base of operations, due to its close proximetry to his favourite location in England, The Lake District. The club was formed but the council soon rejected the proposal to build a small stadium, instead of trying again, Andre shifted the location to Silloth's rival town of Wigton, here he was granted permission to build a small stadium as well as a state of the art training complex. The clubs badge was designed to be a tribute to the English fighting spirit, with a British Bulldog logo taking centre place on it. The original logo was red and white to symbolise England, but later changed to contain the clubs colours of blue and yellow. The bulldog emblem has earned the club it's nickname of "The Bulldogs". From that moment West Cumbria was born, and has since enjoyed the best spell of any clubs career, winning the league's every year thanks to its old and new generation of players. The club has top of the art training and hospitality facilities as well as having a state of the art youth training centre and one of the best youth academys in the world. It's current stadium, currently holds 190,000, and is an all seater stadium. There is no room for further expansion due to the build. It has a retractable roof, which although is open during every game, unless the weather is extremely adverse, snow blizzard or a terrential downpour, which would disrupt the playing surface. At present there are six members to the West Cumbria board including the chairman and owner Andre Faladeau. The other members are close friends and fellow business men of Andre's... They are: Director's - James Harris, an American from Las Vegas, Nevada, Mike Luthers, an Australian from Newcastle, New South Wales and Antonio Sanchez, an American from San Dimas, California: General Manager James Sparks, known as Ozzy Sparks, an American from Kentwood, Michigan and Managing Director, Chris Perks, a Canadian from Thunder Bay, Ontario. As well as the board, the club have an extensive coaching staff of 25 personnel these are:- Steve Martins (England) - Assistant Manager Phil Jacobs (England) - First Team Coach Gary Newtone (England) - First Team Coach Daniel Watkins (England) - Coach Juan Carlos (Spain) - Coach James Rush (England) - Coach Tova Zahino (Brazil)- Coach Steve Williams (England)- Coach John Shields (England)- Coach Bobby Malkquime (Holland)- Coach Brian Amokachi (England)- Coach Roberto Cais (England)- Coach Leon Yardy (New Zealand)- Coach Pedro Muchlenté (Portugal)- Coach Jase Johnson (USA)- Fitness Coach Miguel Márquez (Mexico)- Fitness Coach Phil McGregor (Scotland)- Fitness Coach Jacques Li Fanti (England)- Fitness Coach Carlos Istanoe (Brazil)- Goalkeeper Coach Jones Markinson (Wales)- Goalkeeper Coach Mike Taylor (England)- Youth Team Coach Dejay Machovivic (Czech Rep)- Youth Team Coach Paolo Guentivic (Czech Rep)- Youth Team Coach Gil Jones (Ireland)- Youth Team Coach Jack Mansfield (England)- Youth Team Coach. - All of the coaching staff with the exception of Jase Johnson, have all played for the club, some are still young and only after last season decided to join the coaching staff. Currently Paolo Guentivic holds the all time league scoring record set at 249, and Dejay Machovivic currently holds the record for the most league appearances, currently at 425. Along with the coaches, there are a further 15 members to the backroom staff which are:- Oscar Martinez (Spain)- Scout John Rush (England)- Scout Martin Smith (England)- Scout Daniel Von Iainellson (Sweden)- Scout James Williams (England)- Scout Sylvain Diédersháur (France)- Scout Nathan Winters (England)- Scout Ariel Mevilla (Argentina)- Scout Gary McKinlay (Scotland)- Scout Chelberto Salgado Ronaldo (Portugal)- Scout Mark Hart (England)- Scout Paddy O'Halloran (Ireland)- Scout Amy Tanner (USA)- Physio (Female) Ian Franklin (England)- Physio Jake Hammer (USA)- Physio. The current Squad list is as follows (25 First Team/Reserve - 23 Youths) First Team Squad No - Name - Age - Nation (Town of Birth) - Position 1 - Paul Master - 23 - England (Wigton) - GK 2 - Paul Michaels - 23 - England (Wigton) - D/WB ® 3 - Robert Gááry - 23 - France (Perpignan) - D/WB (L) 4 - Michael Vio - 23 - England (Wigton) - M © 5 - Brian Haye - 23 - England (Hartlepool) - D © 7 - Martin Jones - 23 - England (Durham) - M/AM ® 8 - Simon Corner - 23 - England (Sunderland) - ST 9 - Jason Sharpe - 23 - England (Kingston upon Thames) - ST 10 - Prince Mladevic - 23 - England (Ashton-under-Lyne) - ST 11 - Ryan Steel - 23 - England (Wigton) - M/AM (L) 12 - Aiden Geeves - 23 - Guyana/England (Georgetown) - D © 13 - John Stevens - 23 - England (Wigton) - GK 14 - Peter Homeson - 23 - England (Doncaster) - M © 15 - Paul Craig - 23 - England (Brighton) - ST 16 - Giovanni Zivarno - 23 - England (Durham) - M/AM © 17 - Antonio Zongool - 23 - Brazil (Brasília DF) - GK 18 - Stevie Nash - 23 - England (Wigton) - DM. M © 19 - Lee Marshall - 23 - England (Carlisle) - ST 21 - Landon Evers - 23 - England (Wigton) - D/WB (L) 23 - Leon Williams - 23 - England (Manchester) - M/AM (RLC) 24 - Javier Minkler - 23 - Spain (Barcelona) - M © 27 - Alan Bell - 23 - England (Wigton) - M/AM ® 28 - Nathan Jackson - 23 - Ireland (Roscommon) - D/WB (RL) 32 - Matt Jones - 23 - England (Manchester) - D © 35 - Richard Farely - 23 - England (Durham) DM, M © Youths Name - Nation (born) - Position Paul Wallace - England (Wigton) - GK Jamie Phillips - England (Hartlepool) - GK Mark Brookes - England (Wigton) - GK Martin Peters - England (Wigton) - D/WB ® Jack Smith - England (Hartlepool) - D/WB ® Bryan Jones - England (Sunderland) - D/WB (L) Mark Jackson - England (Stockton-on-Tees) - D/WB (L) Paul Martins - England (Wigton) - D © Antonio Zahino - England (Wigton) - D © Chris Lewis - England (Wigton) - D © José Antonió Látrellá - Spain (Santa Cruz De Tenerife) - D © Sam Carter - England (Wigton) - M/AM ® Stewie Potter - England (Wigton) - M/AM ® Tom Willis - England (Sunderland) - M/AM (L) Martyn Davis - England (Wigton) - M/AM (L) Pedro Ribás - Portugal (Sintra) - M/AM © Antonio Cais - England (Wigton) - DM, M © Neil Mackenzie - Scotland (Galashiels) - M © James Turner - England (Wigton) - M © Luke Michaels - England (Wigton) - ST Justin Tanner - USA (Denver CO) - ST Rory McCall - Scotland (St. Andrews) - ST Fernando Lopéz Muñoz - Spain (Córdoba) - ST - The Current captain situation Captain - Simon Corner V.Captain - Paul Michaels. Team Strips: Home - Royal Blue shirt with white trim across top, black shorts with Royal trim and blue socks with white trim, (In case of a clash, shorts will be Royal with white trim or socks white with blue tim) Shirt - http://sjfunk.webs.com/home.png Away - White shirt with red trim, Red shorts with white trim and White socks with red trim (in case of a clash, Shorts will either be White with red trim or black with red trim, socks Shirt - http://sjfunk.webs.com/away.png Third (Away for Europe) - Yellow shirt with royal trim, royal shorts with yellow trim and yellow socks with royal trim (In case of clash shorts will be yellow with blue trim.) Shirt - http://sjfunk.webs.com/third.png -- The manager for the story will be Simon Funk (40) former England Internation with 65caps and 38 goals. Played for Everton, Aston Villa, QPR, Oldham and Hartlepool. -- Also will have a new England manager in charge. That of Ian Topkins, another former England international, with 45caps 2goals - Played for Blackburn, Tottenham, Preston, Doncaster and Reading. (Blackburn and Reading legend of sorts) === Please note the above is just background info, the story will begin in the next post. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 23, 2010 Author Share Posted November 23, 2010 Breaking News! Source West Cumbria FC official website:Manager search now on! Today is a sad day for everybody associated with West Cumbria FC. As we can confirm that Brian Zalvonzo has decided to retire from the club with immediate affect. Until a new manager can be found Steve Martins, Brian's assistant manager will be taking over as caretaker manager until a new manager can be confirmed. The club Legend Brian, has decided that it is time for him to step away from football retiring after being in the game for 35 years. Brian enjoyed spells playing football for Bristol City, Doncaster Rovers, Hibernian and Chesterfield, before taking over as West Cumbria manager for our first league game in the 1991/92 season. Brian has been the manager at the club for its 19 years in management. In a statement, Brian stated that his recent ill-health he has called it time on his long career. He will forever go down in history as one of the all time greats of West Cumbria Football Club. This news is no-shock to the players and the staff at the Dog Pound, who had been expecting it to happen last season. However qualifying for the Champions League, Brian decided to stay on for one more season. ----- Hello and welcome to my life as a footballer. Who am I, you'll be asking? Well, my name is Simon Corner, SJ for short. I'm 23, born in Sunderland, an avid supporter of Hartlepool United, as well as the club that I play for, West Cumbria. The team I've played for since 2000. Ten years since joining and I'm still here. Not many players in todays crop of so called professional players can say that. I'm the main man at West Cumbria though, by that I mean that I'm the club captain, have been for several seasons. Closely followed by Paul Michaels, or Paulie as we call him. We have a fantastic bunch of players at the club. There is twenty-five of us in total, you'll get to see them sometime soon. I finished last season as both the clubs and the league's top goalscorer, that's the Premier League. I somehow managed, no thanks to the guys playing around me for creating the chances, a huge total of 65 goals, just three more than the 62 I scored in our Premiership debut. But hey guess what? Yup I was not selected to play in the World Cup tournament. I was overlooked, as was everybody else in the team. I'm not saying that I could have made a difference, but I'm pretty sure either The Mast (Paul Master) or Jono (John Stevens) could have kept that shot from Clint Dempsey out. After all, neither of them have conceded a goal in the last two seasons, in all competitions. But that's over and done with, now lets get down to business. Today, the board of directors have called a meeting with the whole club. Players and the backroom staff. I'm sitting front row, in between my cousin Bri (Brian Haye) and Paulie. The rest of the team and staff are scattered around. A low whispering is going on between everyone, no-one has a clue why we've been called in today. It's supposed to have been the last day of our post season break, and for the English lads amongst us, a get-away from people asking why we did not go to the World Cup, like we asked to be left out of the side. After several moments pass by, the board members walk in, James Harris, Mike Luthers, Antonio Sanchez, Ozzy Sparks, Chris Perks (Perky) and Andre Faladeau. Andre steps up to speak first. "Thank you all for coming in on your day off guys and girls. But unfortunately I've some very important news surround the club and it's future, that I wanted to speak to you guys about first, before we release a statement to the press." He says after the room quietens down. "Oh, well thanks for thinking of our feelings big boss." The voice of Ask (Aiden Geeves - named after the search engine.) spits up. Gaining a little round of laughter.... Which is common place around here. Zalvy, our manager is found of that, thinks it gives us a bit more of togetherness, who can argue when we have accomplished what we have under his guidance. Once the laughter dies down again, Andre continues. "I'm pleased your happy enough Ask. But, this news is rather important, and I thought that it would have not done your moral any good if you found out from the press. As of last night, I had a very long meeting and discussion with Zal (Brian Zalvonzo), and he has decided that he will finally step away from football. So as of last night, Zal has officially retired. In which case, we will be looking to kick on and step up our chase to get a new manager at the club." "What about Steve?" Shouts Stevie.(Stevie Nash). Meaning Steve Martins, the current assistant manager. "I was talking to Steve, this morning before the meeting, and he has decided that he will take temporary charge of the first team until we can install a new manager, which he told us to do so very soon. I believe that Steve isn't interested in being a manager and happy staying on here as the Assistant." Andre replies, almost knowing that question was coming. "So when can we look to, in regards to finding a new manager of the club?" I ask. "We can't answer that just yet. We'll be letting the world know after our meeting, in regards to Zal retiring, and from there we'll look to interview possible candadates." "What about our little Chinese parliments? Will the new manager have to accept them as part of our club?" Mlad (Prince Mladevic) chirps in. "Honestly, I'm not sure. We'll try to accomodate you all, and get a manager in that will keep that in. It hasn't done us badly in the 19 seasons Zal had it in place. But at the same time, we've got to look to a manager that is going to bring the club a continued pattern of success. But like I said, Steve will be in charge of running the first team until we can find the perfect replacement for Zal. It may take a while, or it may be a quick process. Now, you're free to go home and enjoy that last several hours of your vacation time. Although Steve has agreed that you all can have ONE, extra day to make up for me calling you all in a day early." The best news as far as the guys are concerned, matched only by the huge cheer. -- Tuesday, July 7th 2010 -- Training was okay, not as cheerful as normal, after all we are still trying to get used to the fact that we are without Zal in charge. Steve looks slightly overwhelmed with being in complete charge of training, even though sometimes it's happened before, when Zal was doing some sort of business or a conference. I think it's mainly due to the fact that he is unsure how long he is going to have to do this. During a little shooting practice he interupts us. "Okay lads, thats enough for now. We'll get back to normal tomorrow, I've just had a call from Big Boss, he wants us all to get to the stadium, we're to go into another meeting." "You've finally been given the job Steve?" Ziv (Giovanni Zivarno) asks. "Nope, I'm happy being the assistant. Although I do think that he's found our new boss. Hopefully he wont let me go. I will be devastated." A quick shower and dressed in our West Cumbria training suits, a dark blue with white trimmed Ulhsport training suit. All with the Bulldog badge and our innitials on it. This is followed by a short drive from our training complex through to the Dog Pound (our stadium). All of us bundle our way into our seats in the conference room, again I sit next to my cuz (Brian Haye), but this time on the other side of me is Amy (Tanner) our female physio, and apart from Big Boss's secretary, the club's general secretary at the front desk, she is our only female member of the staff, backroom staff that is. The other too are not really backroom staff. Oh, yes and I should mention, that we are somewhat dating. w00t as they all say. A few short minutes pass by, before Andre comes in and takes his usual placement behind the desks, in front of our backdrop for interviews. The same one that is down in the tunnel for after matches. "Okay guys, and Amy, sorry to bring you all in and disrupt your training session, but I've some fantastic news. We've managed to hire a brand new manager. Before you ask it's not Steve, Phil (Jacobs) or Gary (Newtone). We, being me and the board, have decided that we should give the opportunity to someone who is well sort of new to the management side of things, but who will be able to give you just as much crap as you lot dish out. After all he was known as a bit of a character in his playing days. Oh yeah, he'll also be the first person associated with the club to be an international player." "OUCH! That hurts big boss." BB (Matt Jones) shouts from the back. His nickname was originally Big Bastard, but we shortened it down again for ease. Oh and the fact he's 6'8 is the reason for the nickname. "Yeah well, don't blame me, blame that Italian in charge of your national team. Anyway, getting back to business. I'd like to introduce him to you lot before announcing it to the press. So here is your new boss. But remember that I'm still Big Boss." A few laughs ring out, before the door opens and in walks a man that I must admit to use to idolising. Simon Funk. The guy is an England legend. I liked him better than Alan Shearer, well mainly because there would have been no way on Earth I would have lived if I liked Shearer, all my family support Sunderland. But it's good to see Funk here, even if he will be somewhat of a misfit for the beginning of things. "WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA?" A couple of the lads behind me shout. "Well for one I'm a former international player, and you are?" Funk slams them back, although not mallicious. Everyone else finds it rather funny that he was quick to respond. "Well, since we are all acquainted, I'll leave you all to figure things out, I've a business to run you know." Big Boss announces as he leaves the conference room. Leaving Funk somewhat a little overwhelmed by that. "So, "Boss", what's your plans for us lot?" Paulie (Michaels) asks, a little further down the line. "Oh, well I think you'll all be placed on the transfer list, see if I can make Andre some more money, and then bring in some younger players who will play for almost free. See where that gets the club." "Relegation, that's not what Big Boss wants. You may be sacked before you know it." Marty (Martin Jones) shouts. "That's probably true. But in all honesty, I don't want to try and fill in Brian Zalvonzo's boots, but I do, if you get me. I don't want to come here thinking I can replace him as a legend. He was a superb manager for you lot. Managed to get you lot playing well. I want to be able to get the best out of you as well, and for all of us to carry on with the Bulldog's tradition of winning." To me, that's a great truthful answer, one that due to the lack of sarcastic comments back, seems to be registering well with everyone in the room. "You said, everyone here, does that mean, you won't be getting rid of people, the coaches excetra?" I ask. "I wasn't thinking about it. From what I've seen, everyone here seems dedicated to the cause, and unless you suggest that there is a weaklink that you think should go which I would take into consideration. I don't see why I would do that. I will however, look to bring in my brother. Although, he wont be working as a coach though. Seeing as how with me, Steve (Martins), and the rest of the coaches, I don't see where he would fit into." Another good answer, he did open it up for a little sarcasim, to see which one of the staff is the butt of the jokes, but no-one responds that way. I think it's mainly due to the fact, that we all, players and staff alike, want to know how he will be working. But its good to see that he'll be bringing in his brother as a scout. I'm sure my cuz, would have wanted to work with him as a coach though, seeing as how he is his idol. "Okay, has anyone got any more questions?" He asks calmly. "Will the captaincy stay the same?" Richy (Richard Farely) asks. "Yes, I don't want things to change with regards to you all, on the field or off. I've seen how you all play, and how well both, Simon (me) and Paul Michaels leads the team on the field. I don't see why changing that would be of any benefits. Anyone else?" I look around the room, nobody seems to have one, a lot of them are shaking their heads. "It looks like your cleared for landing boss, none of this lot seem to be able to think of anything else." I add what everyone is thinking. "Okay, well thank you, and I look forward to working with you all. The players are dismissed, report to the training ground at your normal time tomorrow, I'll be taking a bit of a backseat tomorrow, and look at how things are run, and we'll go from there." A cheer goes up from a lot of the others, noting we have an early finish in regards to training. All the players, stand up and start filling out of the room. I as per usual in these situations make sure everyone is out before leaving, although this time it's because the boss stops me. "Simon, can you go to my office please. I'd like to have a quick word with you. But it will be after I'm done with a general staff meeting." "Sure, I would have been waiting anyway." With that I head to the boss office, I find Steph, Zal's old personal assistant, sitting behind the desk. Steph is a young blonde, former model. She's hot to say the least, but I'm not interested in her in that way. I'm already dating, and well as you'll come to figure, I'm not like all the other modern day footballers, in fact none of us here at West Cumbria, are like that of Terry, Crouch or Rooney. "Hi Steph, are you staying on then?" I ask. "Yeah, Andre wanted me to stay on, and Mr. Funk agreed, as he didn't want to have to find a new assistant." She responds. "Well that's good to see. At least none of us will need to learn about some new assistant for the new boss." I respond kindly, knowing that everyone here likes Steph, for a former model she is very down to Earth, and a friend to all of us. "So what you here for then? Haven't upset the new boss already have you?" She asks, jokingly. "Nah, he wants to see me, god only knows why. But he's just speaking to all the staff. You know the staff meetings and crap." "Ahh, yes, those boring things, Zal always used to make me take notes in some of the more boring ones." Half an hour goes by before "The Boss" materialises out of the lift. Along with Amy, mainly as she'll be waiting for me. He immediately invites me into his office. Which is a lot barer now without all of Zal's stuff. I'm sure it won't stay this bare for long, the boss will no doubt update the current look sooner or later. "So, what did you want to see me about boss?" I ask taking the seat that I'm used to taking. "It's no real issue. Just with me being knew and all, I wanted to speak with you in regards to some issues that I've got personally, and since your the club captain, I'd thought I'd clear them up with you." "That'll be an honour, but could you not have cleared them up in your interview with the other staff members?" I ask, and yes it is an honour to be asked. "A lot of my questions have been cleared up, best formations, best players for positions and what not. Which is not so easy when all of the players are pretty evenly matched. But there is just a few things that would be better speaking to you with. On the field stuff, and you'll know better being the current captain and all." "Okay, shoot away." "Well firstly, I'll be letting you stick with taking the freekicks as you are used to, as you will be staying captain too. Now, I just want to know, do you feel that there are any trouble makers out on the pitch. By that I mean one's that moan and complain when things aren't going well?" "Yeah, me... No seriously though boss, there aren't any trouble makers here. You'll come to learn that we are not like these premiership footballers from the other teams. Who think they are bigger than the club. We owe a lot to this club, and if it wasn't for this club, a lot of us wouldn't be playing football professionally, never mind playing in the Premier League. There may be a few issues, while we have a bit of a honeymoon period, with you in charge, being that you are new, and you club knowledge, in regards to our best eleven and what not, will not be the best right now. But thats expected. I'm sure we'll get through that smoothly though." "I'm glad you think so, and hopefully you're right. My next question is, what do you make of the depth of the squad as a player, and where do you think the weakest area of the team is?" "In all honesty, the only area that we could encounter problems with is the goalkeeping side of things, but I only say that because of the fact we've only got three first team keepers. But all three are superb keepers and are just as good as each other and can do a great job. Apart from that, we could have problems at centre back to. We've only got, Bri, BB and Ask.... Oh sorry, Bri is Brian Haye, BB is Matt Jones and Ask is Aiden Geeves. so if one of them gets injured we could be slightly down in that respect, although Robbie, thats Robert Gááry, has played a few times in that position when called upon, but it's rare." "I see, that is what Steve said earlier." "Yeah, the only problem though, is if you were to bring in somebody as cover for either area, then you'd have two choices, one, drop someone from the current squad, which would be a big mistake, everyone here can do a job or two, make sure that they are under the age of 20, therefore not having to take up one of the slots for the 25 man squad. But then if you are to do that, you may as well just look towards one of our own youths to do a stand in job, having done some training with them, there are some great young talents there." I must admit, I say that as though our first-team squad members are old, we're all the same age, that being 23. "Okay, I see what you mean, I'll be looking to see the youth team members and how the grow as players. I also see and understand your point about the purchase of new players, and how with these new rules of the premier league it restricts the amount of players you can class in your squad. Its unlikely that I'll be looking to bring too many people in anyway. It's not my thing to go looking for players and splashing big amounts of cash on players. I've never been a fan of the big prices. The highest I was transfered for was just over one million. Which was a big amount back then." "Yup, it's strange and stupid the prices people get transfered for." "It certainly is. Well thanks for your time Simon, I'll see you tomorrow for training." "Right you are boss." I get up and shake the new bosses hand, before leaving the office, after a quick goodbye with Steph, I head off home in the company of my girlfiend and our physio Amy. At home, while sitting watching something stupid on the t.v. I can't recall what the hell it is, especially considering the fact that I'm not even well concentrating on it. Amy decides to discuss the new appointment. "So what do you think of the appointment? And don't be biased because you've always been a fan of his." She asks, sitting down on the white leather sofa, beside me. "I think it'll be a good move for us. I think he was sincere when he was talking about keeping every member of the staff working in their current roles." "Yup, I believe he is sincere about that, he reiterated that in our staff meeting. He's also looking to send the scouts on missions to scout for young talent, but he is not going to look towards buying players due to the balance in the side." "He did say that to me, although he did ask where I thought we lacked in strength in depth. But apart from that, he seems confident with the players we even though we haven't got the cover other teams do, there is no need to go splash ridiculous amounts of cash on one or two players who will act as cover." Our conversation goes on for a little while longer before the topic chances considerably. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 23, 2010 Author Share Posted November 23, 2010 -- Thursday, 8th July 2010 -- As we await for the boss to join us at the training ground, since he is going to be delayed thanks to a press conference we, as a team, along with Steve, decide that we'll log into the internet connection in the training complexes own conference room, to watch the conference on our website. Clive (Sullivan) from our Bitesize magazine is there, as is Alfie from The Wigton Gazette. The boss sits at the front of the room, behind the desk alongside the Big Boss, Andre. Who has introduced him to the fans. "Hi Mr. Funk, I'm Alfie Welch, with The Wigton Gazette. My question to you is. Now that you're sitting here as the new Bulldogs manager, is it your dream job?" Alfie asks, in his usual calm and cheerful manor. "I must admit that I'm pleased that Andre has trusted me with the position, and I can hopefully prove to be a good choice for the role." The boss replies just as cheerful.... Which is a good sign considering he has to come here straight after. "Do you already have an idea of which players you lke and those that you aren't so happy with?" Some other reporter asks, from his logo it looks like TEAMtalk.com. He must be new, as I've never seen him before. "I can't say that I do, Everyone will get the chance to impress, after all it would be very unfair to everybody to make a decision like that on the players without seeing how they play under me first." Funk replies. "That certainly suggests you have confidence in your players. What do you consider to be your strongest area of the team?" The same TEAMtalk journalist asks. "I'm fully confident in all the areas of the team. We have a very strong defence, that have pace to deal with the threat of fast paced attackers, as well has having the leagues biggest defender, which should help deal with the threat of the bigger attackers. We have one of the most skillful set of midfielders who can create something out of nothing, and our strikers are amongst the best in the league, and are well adapt to take their chances." "Hello Mr. Funk, I'm Mun Young-Sik, with West Cumbria Online. I was just wondering, with the expectations of a team of West Cumbria's stature being enormous. Do you feel that you will be able to continue our tradition of success?" Asks Mr. Young-Sik, although we all call him Youngy. "Success is in this clubs blood and the setup here should allow me to achieve exactly that. We will however work hard to ensure that the success of this great club will continue on for as long as I'm in charge here." "Dave Williams from The Sunday Mirror. I want to know, how involved will you be in the general day-to-day running of West Cumbria?" Ahh yes, the infamous Dave Williams. Okay, I don't personally know him, but it sounds good. "I like to be involved in as much as I can be. Obviously timing restrictions will apply in some aspects of things, such as our conference today, is stopping me from taking my first real training session. But I'll be involved as much as I can be though." "Good day, Marucs Darcy, from the Observer. While some managers around the world are famous for their hands-on approach, while others maintain a more reserved manner with their players. How do you see your own management style?" "I think clubs work best when players feel valued as people not just as footballers. That's how it was with a lot of the managers I've worked with. But at the same time, I want every one of the players to know that they can come to me with anything, I don't want them to be afraid of me. There is a need for respect of course, but that needs to be both ways. We are all adults and I'm sure we can all get along with each other." "What can we expect from you in the transfer market? Are you looking to splash the cash or are you more of a bargain hunter?" Asks the journalist from TEAMtalk.com. "I will make sure all my signings are the result of thorough scouting and extensive deliberation with my staff. As for the value, I have no preference and work differently on each individual deal." "Mike Summers, with The People. As far as your backroom staff go, will you be bringing in your own people or will the likes of Steve Martins and Phil Jacobs be staying at the club?" That one gets all the staff interested, as well as some of the players giving them some strange glances. "The backroom staff here are part of a fantastic setup and it would be foolish to disrupt that. I can't see that there is a need for change here and so therefore there will not be any changes in regards to the staff roles that are already covered at the club." "What would you say is your tactical approach to the game?" Youngy asks. "I like attractive football and that's what I'll be trying to encourage. Of course there will probably be times when that is a struggle and tactics may change." After that question, Big Boss calls time on the conference stating that Funk has to get back to the training ground to get into training with us. And, well I feel like he did well in the conference. A natter between the other guys and it's pretty much a general census on that decision. A long tough training session took place after, with the new boss coming in to discuss a few things, and pretty much watch from a distance to see how things are nomally done in training at the club. We also get confirmation that we'll be taking part in a somewhat competitive match, but one thath will be an intra-squad match. That will take place tomorrow evening, without there being any fans in attendance. Apparently, it's for the boss to get an a chance to see all members of the first team in action. As well as that, we are informed that "the boss" has succesfully signed his brother as a scout for the club. That should be a good addition, Brian was a good defender so hopefully he'll become a great scout. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 23, 2010 Author Share Posted November 23, 2010 -- Friday, 9th July 2010 -- With training cancelled due to the intra-squad match this evening. Before that the Boss gets us all into the conference room in the training centre. "Okay guys, Steve gave me a full list of fixtures for the up and coming season, but rather than go into everything. I'll just list out current friendlies for the time being. Tonight we all know what is happening, but that is just for me to see you play. After that we've an extensive pre-season regime. All of our pre-season games will be played away from home. We are first up against Sparta Prague, followed by four games here in England, firstly against Hartlepool, as part of the deal between the clubs, that's followed by games at Norwich, Leyton Orient and one of my former teams, Q.P.R. Our final pre-season game is in Italy against Genoa." -- Our intra-squad friendly tonight is taking place at The Hunting Ground, our reserve team stadium, rather than our first team home stadium The Dog Pound. "Okay, lads, I'm gonna start the first half with the following four four two formation. In goal at the start will be Paul Master. The defence from right to left will be, Paul Michaels, Brian Haye, Matt Jones and Robert Gááry. The midfield again from right to left will be, Martin Jones, Michael Vio, Giovanni Zivarno and Ryan Steel. The front two will be, Simon Corner and Prince Mladevic. The subs will be Aiden Geeves, Javier Minkler, Jason Sharpe, Paul Craig, John Stevens, Landon Evers, Lee Marshall, Leon Williams, Richard Farely and Nathan Jackson. The rest of you will be available to play for the reserve team. Match: West Cumbria Vs. West Cumbria Reserves. Line-Up:- 4-4-2 GK - Paul Master RB - Paul Michaels LB - Robert Gááry CB - Brian Haye CB - Matt Jones RM - Martin Jones LM - Ryan Steel CM - Michael Vio CM - Giovanni Zivarno ST - Simon Corner © ST - Prince Mladevic Subs Aiden Geeves Javier Minkler Jason Sharpe Paul Craig John Stevens Landon Evers Lee Marshall Leon Williams Richard Farely Nathan Jackson. Result: West Cumbria 5 (2) - 0 (0) West Cumbria Reserves Goals: West Cumbria - Corner 18, 44, 65, 78; Minkler 71: MotM - Corner. -- "Okay, good game lads, I know its still early since coming back from your holidays, but I must admit I was slightly disappointed with the amount of passes that went astray. I know the reserves were made up of our youth team, but we've got to find the man with passes, especially the shorter ones. Another thing we'll have to work on is shooting practice. Roughly half of our shots were off target. Some of them were clear-cut chances, so we need to work on our composure in those situations. Make the keeper work. Also we need to challenge ariel for the ball. I know without the likes of Jason, Matt and Ryan, we're probably the shortest team in the league, but we still need to go up and challenge, make it harder for the opposing players to win the headers and put them off so they don't get a good clean purchase on. Unfortunately we did well defensively to restrict their attempts. I say unfortunately as it didn't really show me what the keepers can do. I believe only one shot had to be saved. One blocked well by the defence and the others they wasted. But saying that they didn't have any clear cut chances. Against other teams that will be a fantastic stat to have. With a few bits of work, and once we get the fitness and composure levels back, I really do believe we've got a very good chance of retaining the title. Good work guys." The boss tells us after the game. I must admit, it did seem to me like alot of chances were not taken. I myself can admit that a few chances I had weren't taken. I should have got more than my four goals, but I'll settle with the four and an assist for Minks goal. After the game, we found out that England's FA, decided after the absolutely dismall performance by England in the World Cup. Fabio Capello has been releaved of his duty as England Manager. They have already named the replacement as Ian Topkins, the former Blackburn and England defender. -- Saturday, 10th July 2010 -- Today, Bri (Haye), popped round since we've been given the day off after our match last night. We get talking about the new England manager. According to him a good choice... Yes you've probably guessed it, he is a fan, seeing how they are both centre halves. Typical. It's not like I idolised every England striker. -- Sunday, 11th July 2010 -- Back to training today, and the first official training session which is being ran by the boss. "Okay guys, due to what I say in the game we played on Friday, I've decided, that we'll split the group up. Mast (Paul Master), Jono (John Stevens) and Ghost (Antonio Zongool) will be working with Carlos (Istanoe) and Marko (Jones Markinson). Dealing with handling and shot stopping. Defenders, you'll be working with Robbie (Roberto Cais), Willo (Steve Williams) John (Rush) and Juanco (Juan Carlos). You'll be working on the defensive side, tackling, challenging for high balls, marking etc. Richy (Farely) and Stevie (Nash) you'll be working with them for today. You two will take part as the attacking players. The rest of the midfield. You'll be working with Gaz (Gary Newtone), Ped (Pedro Muchlenté) and Ammo (Brian Amokachi). Ammo will be taking the wingers aside and work on your crossing and attacking play, full backs. As well as all of you will be working on your ball control, and your passing play. The rest of you, aka the strikers. You'll be working with me, Steve (Martins), Jonny (Shields), Tova (Zahino) Leo (Yardy), Bobby (Malkquime) and Watto (Daniel Watkins). We'll be running through shooting practice and all round attacking play. We'll be doing that for roughly an hour and a half. You'll have a ten minute break, followed by forty minutes of tactical training, with myself, Steve and Crackers (Phil Jacobs). That will be followed by another ten minute break, before we start with our fitness training. Half of you will go work with Jaxx (Jacques Li Fanti) and Jock (Phil McGregor) on your strength, while the other half will be working with Mig (Miguel Márquez) and Jase (Johnson) working on your aerobic exercises to build you fitness up. We'll do that for a half an hour, before the groups will swap over. Once that's done, we'll have another ten minutes break, before we have a general training match, attack against defence to put your training in practice. Don't worry, we'll be doing that for an hour. So today, it's a full four and a half hours training. While you're playing the training game, we'll be discussing how it's gone and see if we can drag it out further." It's a tough rigorous training scheduled, but we should get through it hopefully. "One more thing boys. I've arranged that on Tuesday, as part of a fitness training course, we'll be doing a training program that is mainly for the British Special Forces. We've managed to book a day in the Brecon Beacons, with two SAS instructors who will help you in the training. Don't worry, the staff guys will be joining in." Oh crap. As a big fan of the SAS, I think that means we'll be doing what's known as the Fan Dance. The horrendous run across the Pen-y-fan mountain in the Brecon Beacons National park, and if it's with two of the SAS training wing, that will be horrible. But hell, I'm already looking forward to it. Training goes well, it's tough but everyone gets through without any worries. Although, after our post/pre-season break, its a little tough, Our first intensive training regime to get through. Although everyone seems to be in a mixed view over what we've got coming in a few days. Although looking forward to doing something different, it's not likely to be easy or even slightly hard on us. But it will be a very difficult thing. Well let's just hope we all get through it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 23, 2010 Author Share Posted November 23, 2010 -- Monday, July 12th 2010 -- Another long and very difficult training session took place today, again we all managed to get through it nicely enough. -- Tuesday, July 13th 2010 -- We've been given the day of from doing physical training. But we are going to get some mental training today. We've got some sort of mental psychologist coming in. We get through that ok, I didn't see the point of it myself, but according to the boss, it will see some good things come of it. After that we are all called to the conference room. "Okay guys, today you've got through your mental judgements superbly well. That was the feedback I received anyway. Tomorrow we'll be down in the Brecon Beacons to do that big huge exorcise. But I've been told to pass a message to you, and these things..." The boss tells us before passing out a pair of long dark green cotton socks to everyone, as well as a bottle of oil. "Since tomorrow will be tough, you'll be kitted in jungle warfar style clothes including the boots. With those socks too, don't forget them. Anyway, tomorrow will be very tough on your feet, and the likelihood that you may blister is high. So I've been told to give you a secret. Soak those socks overnight in that oil. It will feel horrible when you put them on, but it'll help to reduce the irretation on the skin caused by the fibres rubbing against it. Now, we need to set off early, so be here for 4am. So I suggest a very early night. Anyone who is late will be left behind, and at the mercy of the fitness coaches. Who've been advised a very strict and demanding regeme of their own. Also you'll be fined a weeks wage. Any questions?" There doesn't seem to be any questions so he dismisses us to go home for an early night. -- Wednesday, 14th July 2010 -- Everyone makes the coach, although you may think its cause we'll be fined a weeks wage. To all of us here, that makes no real difference. Everyone wants to be on the trip, although we are on a tough ride down to Wales, and then an even tougher training schedule, we all want to do it, and show the rest of the team as well as our new manager that we are all committed to the cause and to this team. I mean if you were to tell the likes of Rio Ferdinand, John Terry and Rooney, that they were going to be doing some huge trekking across a mountain range as part of fitness training, they'll probably fain an injury of some sort in order to give it a miss. Not the Bulldogs. -- On the way back home after the long day, nobody is talking. It's more due to the fact that we are all exhausted, that is all except the boss, for some reason he seems fitter than all of us young-uns as he called us, put together. Although we did find out, he's used to doing that, apparently he has done it with his Brother (who did join us today), every year since they were 18, but they did it during their off-season. I must admit though, it was even tougher than I thought. The instructors even did what they do in the SAS. They just jump out one people at random places and fire a question at you. If you didn't answer it correctly, or even answer it in a certain time limit, you were sent back to the start to do it all over again. There was also the crawl we had to do, on our stomachs, through a tunnel, well that was also filled with sheeps guts and intestines. Alot of people complained but we had to do it. Otherwise it was another run up the mountain and back before having to go through the thing. So why do the extra run, just get it over with. I being the captain decided to set the example and go through first. It was dreadful. The watery stuff filled with the guts, intestines and god knows what else was almost covering my head. I couldn't breathe through my mouth in fear of taking in and swallowing the crap. But we all got through it, nobody was injured, nor has anyone moaned about getting any blisters... Although a huge sigh of relief was let out afterwards, when we were told that we had it easy compaired to what real soilders had to do, oh and there was the added bonus that we could have lunch in the SAS cafateria.... Although, reading the books I have on the SAS, I did advise everyone to stay well away from the Rock Buns. -- Thursday, 15th July 2010 -- Today was another day of rest. For many of us, it was a trip to the physio's room, myself included, to get a nice massage from Amy. Oh and before you start to giggle like little school kids, it wasn't that type of massage. Everyone who went yesterday, with the exception of the boss, needed a massage to loosen up the muslces in our legs. After that, the boss called all of us to the conference room. "Tut tut tut, it seems I've come to manage a team of unfit guys. You all are just like little girls complaining that your muscles are tight. It's a shame, as I had a real nice training program for today as well. Oh well, that will have to wait till Monday. But don't worry guys. I promise I'll get you lot to be the fittest team in the league..... Well since I can't perform miracles, I guess we'll have to settle for the most physically fit team in the league." That comment gets a few laughs, from those who aren't suffering from the affects of yesterday still. Or those who've recovered substantially better than others... Which I can fortunately say included me. "Anyway, tomorrow's training session is going to be light. We'll be doing a small bit of shooting and passing training, as well as working on everybodies footwork, without the need of a ball for that. After which we'll be going through more of the boring stuff, working on the tactical side, ahead of our game on Saturday. We'll be travelling tonight, so that training will obviously take place at the training complex we'll be provided with ahead of the game. So go home, get packed and be back here for the coach ride to Durham Tees-Valley airport, at 6pm." With that we all head off, with slightly less of a stiff legged limp than this morning. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 -- Saturday, 17th July 2010 -- After yesterday's short and decent training session, with everyone seemingly fitter than a few days ago, the effects of the training in Wales seemingly passed. Although there are some small signs still there, we find ourselves in the away dressing room of the G.Arena in Prague. "Right lads, going to stick with the four-four-two formation for today. The line up has a few little changes to it. So it'll be as follows. In Goal, Mast. Defence from right to left, Paulie, Bri Haye, BB and Landon (Evers) Midfield from right to left; Marty (Jones), Sony (Michael Vio), Ziv (Zivarno) and Leo (Leon Williams) And up front it'll be SJ (me) and Mlad (Mladevic) Subs for today. Aidey (Geeves) Mink (Minkler) Sharpy (Sharpe) Craggs (Paul Craig) Jono (Stevens) Rob (Gááry) Marshy (Lee Marshall) Ry (Steel) Richy (Farely) Nate (Jackson) Al (Bell) and Stevie (Nash) Ghost (Zongool) and Pete (Homeson) you guys will feature in some way in the next match." Match: Sparta Prague Vs. West Cumbria (Friendly) Line-Up: 4-4-2 GK - Paul Master RB - Paul Michaels LB - Landon Evers CB - Brian Haye CB - Matt Jones RM - Martin Jones LM - Leon Williams CM - Michael Vio CM - Giovanni Zivarno ST - Simon Corner © ST - Prince Mladevic Subs Aiden Geeves Javier Minkler Jason Sharpe Paul Craig John Stevens Robert Gááry Lee Marshall Ryan Steel Richard Farely Nathan Jackson Alan Bell Stevie Nash. First Half Review: We do execptionally well in the first half, creating a lot of chances, while restricting them to long range efforts which aren't troubling for Mast. We take the lead after just six minutes into the game, a long range effort from Sony, he keeps it low and works the keeper, he lets it run free and Marty is there for the rebound. 1-0. Its not long to wait before the second goal of the game comes, this time Marty proves the creator when he flicks the ball through for me to score my first of the game. 2-0. An even shorter wait for the third goal when Mlad picks up the ball, goes straight past Repka before crossing low for me to slot home for my second. 3-0. Several chances after that go begging, all of them falling to us, mostly for me, but their keeper keeps it to three. However on 28 minutes, I turn provider as a break down the right I cross the ball low into the centre, where we have a three on one situation, Mlad gets their first and slots home. 4-0. Three minutes later Mlad gets his second, this time Leo picks up the ball and runs down the left, before moving the ball into space for Mlad to get on the end to, and with a low hard shot he puts it into the back of the net for 5. 5-0. It's a few moments later that we get another, this time I pick up on a lose ball and managed to drive at the heart of the defence, getting free and into a dangerous area, I skimmed a hard shot along the ground, beating the keeper to gain my hat-trick. 6-0. Five minutes before the break and Mlad completes his hat-trick. He gets the ball from Sony, before presenting it to me, I managed to skip past a defender before laying it off back to Mlad who drove it low past the keeper. 7-0. "Okay lads, a great half. We're playing very well indeed. A couple of issues that I've picked upon though. Paulie, Landon. When were defending the pair of you are going narrow. It's okay when the balls on the other side of the field. But I've noticed both of you are doing so when the ball is on your side of the field. It hasn't cause us any problems yet, but I've picked up on it, and I'm sure their manager will have done also, so they may look to use that against us. Just try and keep the shape, go narrow when its on the opposite flank. Also BB, when we've got an attacking freekick in areas where we can cross it into the box, I want you in there, rather than sitting back. I've noticed we had a few dangerous looking freekicks, and we've missed having you up there to cause some arial problems. Let's keep the performance going, I'll be making changes during the course of the second half, but lets keep things going as they are, and try to keep creating chances." The boss tells us for his half time team talk. Second Half Review: It wasn't long after the restart before the goal show began. Williams got the ball and played it long. I let the ball roll off my chest let it bounce once and struck it on the half volley blasting it past the keeper for my fourth of the game. 8-0. After that the whole team with the exception of BB, were replaced. Marshy who came on for Mlad, got the next goal, after a big power headed clearance from BB, set him free and from a tight angle he managed to put it past the keeper. 9-0. Craggs was the next to get onto the score sheet. He picked up on a pass from Al and surged past the defender as though he was not there and put it beyond the keepers reach putting it in off the post. 10-0. Marshy got his second of the game, when Craggs found him, Marshy was able to turn and smash the ball into the top corner from roughly 25yards out. 11-0. He completed his hat-trick several minutes later when he was played the ball by Richy, he turned and hit another long range effort nestling into the back of the net. 12-0. The final goal of the game came from some poor defending and marking from their defence. After clearing the ball from a corner it fell to Rob, who from what I thought was a auspentatious attempt at a shot, found Craggs who was unmarked and had time to slot the ball past the keeper for his second. 13-0. "Great result lads, well done to everyone. It was a good performance. Although there is still a few things that we could have done better. Paulie, Landon. It was good to see you weren't going too narrow in the 10minutes I gave you in that half. Rob, Nate nice working keeping that working. But there was times when they had a man over on their left wing. Nate you were being dragged forward a little by your man, which is okay, stopping him from turning and running at you, that I don't have a worry with. What I do is the fact that their striker saw the space left and wandered into that and got the ball in that space a few times. Aidey, when one of our wing backs gets drawn forward like that, you really do have to go into cover that space especially if your man moves there. Sure it'll create some space in the centre, but to cut that off, Richy, or whoever is in front of you will just drop back. We play a stronger team with better players, they could take advantage of that space. Also Jono, once issue with you mate. You came for a ball that was about 25 yards away from the goal line, and cleared it with you head. That would be ideal for balls played over the top to pacey forwards, but there was no attacker there, and two defenders were close who would have had time to collect and turn or play it back to you. You got away with the fact the person who tried the spectacular effort was no where near being close. Again, better quality players would have made you pay for that. Apart from those, well played good game, lets carry it forward, as we can only improve." Were the bosses words at the end of the game, and I must admit, when Jono came for that ball I thought it had goal written on it, well till the shot came in that was. I was the one who spotted that Aidey wasn't following his man into the space that was left, fortunately the crosses weren't that good and didn't trouble us. Result: Sparta Prague 0 (0) - (7) 13 West Cumbria Goals: West Cumbria:- Martin Jones 6; Corner 12, 15, 38, 53; Mladevic 28, 31, 40; Marshall 66, 73, 77; Craig 64, 84: MOTM - Corner. -- Sunday, 18th July 2010 -- Today, we found out that England's new manager Ian Topkins, has decided to go for an all English affair in the team. He has released all of the Non-English staff members Cabbage-Man Capello brought in. Yes, I'm a big fan of Special 1TV. Also, three new members of staff have been appointed, Roy Evans as the new assistant manager, and both Chris Sutton and Alan Shearer as the new coaches.... Hmm the SAS of Blackburns attack back when Blackburn won the league, no surprises they are there, having the two of them playing in the same Blackburn side as Topkins. Also, Jozef Chovanec, the manager of Sparta Prague, has praised our teams depth. He apparently stated that he is jealous of our boss for have such as squad to work with. Of course today is another day off from training, but this time, it'll be spent on board the Bulldog's own 757. With having my own pilots licence to fly them, which I passed while playing for West Cumbria. We only go it the beginning of last season, for all of our away games in Europe. It sort of makes me feel like Bruce Dickinson, and for those who don't know, he's the lead singer of Iron Maiden, and yes, he's their pilot, flying their own 757 with the Iron Maiden Livery, call sign Ed Force 1. Our call sign though, is Dog Force 1. It doesn't sound as close to Air Force 1 as Maiden's. But that's of no bother. -- Monday, 19th July 2010 -- We were held up a little in traffic yesterday and our flight was terribly delayed. But rather than have another lazy day off from training, but the boss only gives us an easy training day, we'll have another easy training session tomorrow ahead of Wednesday's friendly against Hartlepool. -- Wednesday, 21st July 2010 -- "Okay lads, we'll be keeping with the 4-4-2. I'm going to bring in a couple of changes. Ghost and Pete, will be coming in onto the bench for Jono and Richy. As for the starting line-up the only change there will be Stevie and Minks coming into the centre of midfield for Gio (Zivarno) and Sony." Match: Hartlepool United Vs. West Cumbria. Line-Up: 4-4-2 GK - Paul Master RB - Paul Michaels LB - Landon Evers CB - Brian Haye CB - Matt Jones RM - Martin Jones LM - Leon Williams CM - Stevie Nash CM - Javier Minkler ST - Simon Corner © ST - Prince Mladevic Subs Aiden Geeves Giovanni Zivarno Jason Sharpe Paul Craig Antonio Zongool Robert Gááry Lee Marshall Ryan Steel Peter Homeson Nathan Jackson Alan Bell Michael Vio. First Half Review: It was a shocker, for everybody. We created a few chances and lot of those were squanded. Even I was having a bad half. We took an early lead, when Leo got into the area to bury a shot past the keeper. Apart from that we were pretty average at best. "What the hell was that? Are you scared to take them on? Not one single person has tried to take an opposing player on. We play superbly well in Prague, we come here and what do we do? Sod all that's what. We haven't even got anywhere near the amount of chances in that half as we did goals in the first have against Prague. I'm telling you now, you don't get your act together your off, straight away. We can't cross, we can't pass and all we are doing when we get it at the back is booting the bloody thing straight up the pitch. If I wanted to play long ball frigging tactics, I'd have gone to Sunderland or Blackburn, teams known for that tactic. Now the lot of you want to get your act sorted out." Second Half Review: The second half although slightly better I could tell that the boss wasn't happy. The games second goal was a fortunate goal, a cross from Marty on the right was put in by Liddle, who was attempting to clear. He could have left it though, nobody was going to get on the end of it. 2-0. The third goal came as I took control of the ball, and decided to do something the boss wanted us to do, I ran at the defence, I got through and into the area before driving the ball past the keeper. 3-0. On the hour mark, I received the ball before playing it into the path of Marty, who got free in the area and smashed the ball into the net 4-0. "Okay, a better second half performance, but not by much. Three goals came there, all of which were the result of people having a dribble. After that what happened? Jack-****. We created a few chances but we resorted to getting the ball and stopping still. This isn't ****ing netball. You can move when you get the ball. And what the hell is wrong with the finishing? We scored thirteen goals against a better side. But today, we couldn't even get that bloody many on target. 26 shots we had, 11 on target. Thats not even half of them. We had 8 clear cut chances, and took four of them. That proves that we need to get back and work on the finishing again. In fact cause of the performance, we'll be traveling down to Norwich tomorrow evening, AFTER a hard training session. We were giving the ball away too many times, 79% of our passes were completed, only 18% of crosses were. If we played like that, gave the ball away that often against a top Premiership side, we'd be slaughtered, we would be the ones on the end of a 4-0 defeat. As for it being 4-0. I think that scoreline, flatters you. I certainly didn't think we deserved to win by that much." Result: Hartlepool 0 (0) - (1) 4 West Cumbria Goals: West Cumbria: Williams 6; Liddle OG 46; Corner 56; Martin Jones 60: MOTM - Corner. I must admit, the whole team feels a little disheartend by that backblast, but in all honesty, I think its slightly deserved, we did not play to our best, nor did we even look like we were two leagues above Hartlepool. It did show by the amount of chances we created, and by the goals, but by the amount of times we gave the ball away was not us. -- Thursday, 22nd July 2010 -- The boss called me into his office today, as I get there he's sitting behind his desk. He see's me enter and asks me to take a seat. "Good to see you boss. Steve told me you wanted to see me?" I ask. "Yes, thanks for coming so quickly. After the past few games, I've noted you have some great pace on you, and would cause a lot of problems for defenders. I don't want you to stop coming deep and taking a run at them, as that's been a good attribute so far. But what I would like you to try, is to try and beat the offside trap more often. Try using your pace that way." "Sure, I will give it a go boss. Did you want to talk about anything else?" "Not just now, that was all. I did have a discussion with Steve and Phil first, but thats it for the time being, I'll give you a call if there is anything else." "Okay, thanks boss." With that meeting over, I head out and make my way to the car park, to drive home. There is a few things to get ready, before we head off to Norwich for tomorrows match. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 -- Friday, 23rd July 2010 -- "Firstly lads, I want a much more improved performance today. Sure we won at Hartlepool, and it was comfortable in the end, but we struggled with retaining possession and we didn't have as much control as we should have had. That's why Sony and Gio will come back into the middle of the park. I'm going to start the game with Ghost in goal, Mast you'll be the sub for today. Ry, you'll start on the left in place of Leo. I've looked at their team squad, and their only tall players are that of their defenders and one of their midfields, so taking that into consideration, Aidey will start ahead of BB, and finally Lee will start ahead of Mlad." Match: Norwich City Vs. West Cumbria Line-up: 4-4-2 GK - Antonio Zongool RB - Paul Michaels LB - Landon Evers CB - Brian Haye CB - Aiden Geeves RM - Martin Jones LM - Ryan Steel CM - Michael Vio CM - Giovanni Zivarno ST - Simon Corner © ST - Lee Marshall Subs Matt Jones Javier Minkler Paul Craig Paul Master (GK) Robert Gááry Prince Mladevic Leon Williams Peter Homeson Nathan Jackson Alan Bell Stevie Nash First Half Review: It's horrible, we're not even working as a team. Passes going astray, not moving into space, no running with the ball, except for me and Marshy. Crosses aimed for the smallest man in the box against 6 foot plus defenders. It's abismal. Add that to Ry trying stupid shots from ridiculous angles and distances, its just not working at all. We do however manage to go in with a goal advantage. Again it proves that Funk reads the game well. The goal comes when when I receive the ball from Sony and drive at the defence, going past one of the defenders before shooting across the keeper and finding the net. 1-0. "An absolute joke. What the hell is going on? You've gone out there and made it look like you were all drafted in to play as a team five minutes before the kick-off. Rather than building up for almost ten years. Passes are going astray, we're aiming for the smallest friggin' striker to challenge high balls with tall bloody defenders. We've freekicks in dangerous areas, but only playing short, and getting nothing from them. That added with the fact that we've committed too many needless fouls. I mean Marshy, whats the point in pulling the defenders shirts, when they are going backwards, especially when you're faster than then. It's just not working, and nobody is thinking. Again nobody wants to run with the ball. You watch us, and you'll think the game was a netball game played with the feet. Its pathetic and pointless. It's not going to get you anywhere. Against good teams, we're going to get stuffed. As for the long range shots from the wing.... The point? All it is accomplishing is giving the ball straight back to them. Now you've got 10minutes max to improve before I ring in the changes. Now get the hell out there and prove to me you deserve to be in this friggin' team." A harsh but fair assessment. Second Half Review: After the rollocking by the boss we start the second half very brightly, just three minutes of the second half, I show that I'm not afraid of running at people, and manage to see space opening up before smashing in from a tight angle for my second. 2-0. A few moments later and Marty has a great chance go begging, but just 11minutes into the second half we get the third of the game, and again it comes from Marty playing the ball to me, I run at the defence again and go past a defender before slotting home for my hat-trick, and proof positive that the boss is right, we should be running at people. 3-0. After that the game dies down, the substitutions done and well lets just say I wish I was still on the field that way I didn't have to watch the borefest from the dugout. We went three up and again stopped playing. Well that is till the last five minutes or so. Pete manages to find space to play a simple ball into Al, who fires home from the edge of the area. 4-0. Two minutes later and a good tackle deep in the opposing half from Sharpey, he finds Minks who from all of 35yards smashes it into the top corner. A fabulous strike. 5-0. Only a minute goes by before the sixth goes in, this time Sharpey gets the ball inside the 6yard box, he jinx past the keeper but is tackled by their defender who inadvertantly sends the ball into the back of the net. 6-0. Into stoppage time and Minks picks out Pete, unmarked he sends the ball crashing from 20yards or so, into the back of the net. 7-0. "Well that was somewhat much better. I say somewhat, because between the third goal and the last five minutes we all went to sleep, and I don't mean you lot on the field, I mean me, the bench and the fans. I think the fact that the game got so sloppy and boring, constituted to our upfeat at the end. Four goals came in the space of five minutes. Yet it took us till just after the half hour mark to open the scoring. Seriously guys, we really do need to play at a tempo that we can keep for the whole match, not just set 5-10minute periods. We dominated the chances, I'll admit that, although 13 shots on target, and I dare say most of those came in the last five minutes. But lets look on the bright side, a good strong looking result, we just need to improve on the overall game play and passing to each other. We need to start to think more about who and where we are going to play the ball." Result: Norwich City 0 (0) - (1) 7 West Cumbria. Scorers: West Cumbria: Corner 33, 48, 56; Bell 86; Minkler 88; Nelson OG 89; Homeson 90+1: MOTM: Corner. A very strange match that one, it took us 33minutes to score, then after two in the first 11minutes of the second half it takes us another thirty minutes before we get four in the space of five minutes. Totally bizarre. -- Saturday, 24th July 2010 -- Although no real intensive training today, more a quick workout in the gym, seeing as we played last night and we've a game tomorrow. However the boss does want to speak to us. So as usual, we all file into the conference room. "Okay, lads, I know I must sound a bit harsh with the team talks, especially after the games. We won 4-0, and 7-0. But I wasn't lavashing praise. Now there's a reason for that. The start of the pre-season, both halves of football were played at an extremely high level. We scored seven in the first half, six in the second. Now the two games after, we've not played to our best for the full game. The Hartlepool game, we couldn't get hold of the ball in the first four minutes. When we did we went straight up and scored. But after that goal for the rest of the game, we didn't play like we could. We were taking it easy, as though we knew we were not up for a hard game. That proved the case with the end result. The same happened last night with Norwich. We didn't even start as good as the Pools match. Our passing game was not there, we weren't playing intellegently. Our concentration simply isn't there for the full game, like it was for the Prague match. Now the reason I'm being critical, is because, we simply can't adopt that attitude, when we are in situations like that when its a competitive game. These pre-season games sure, they are friendlies, but I don't want you going onto the field with that mindset. I want you to go into the games with the mind set that they are competitive games. And I'm going to be honest. I've not formed my starting 11 yet. So each and every single player is fighting for their place in the team. I need to see the keepers in action, and cause we are restricting the number of chances for our opponents, such as last night, they didn't have any shots at all. So, that is why each keeper is taking a turn to play for the reserves. There games are being recorded, for the soul purpose of me looking at how well the keepers perform. But for the rest of you. You need to perform the best you can for the minutes you are on the pitch. From the back four, right up to the front two. Remember you're playing for your place in the starting 11, as well as the seven spots available as a substitute for games. That doesn't sound glorious, but it's better than reserve games. So tomorrow, we've Leyton Orient, I want to see a good pace set, and a lot more attacking inteligent play from all of you. If there is just one man in front of you, and space behind him, don't be scared to attempt to take him on. It proved fatal for Norwich last night when SJ did that three times, and scored a hat-trick. Ohh, I don't mind the long range efforts, as long as they are not ridiculous attempts from strange angles, or there are better and easier options available to work the ball into a better position. That's it for now, class dismissed." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJFunk Posted November 24, 2010 Author Share Posted November 24, 2010 -- Sunday, 25th July, 2010 -- "Okay lads, now these are no slouches, they've won their last three friendlies, and only conceded one goal. Now there are a few changes taking place today. Mast will be released to go play in the game for the reserves against Hearts, as will Stevie. Jono you'll start in goal, with BB coming back into the side replacing Aidey, Rob you'll replace Landon at left back, Al you will come in for Marty on the right, Leo, you'll be on the left with Minks in the centre with Sony, Sharpy you'll play with Crags up top." Match: Leyton Orient Vs. West Cumbria Line-Up: 4-4-2 GK - John Stevens RB - Paul Michaels © LB - Robert Gááry CB - Brian Haye CB - Matt Jones RM - Alan Bell LM - Leon Williams CM - Michael Vio CM - Javier Minkler ST - Paul Craig ST - Jason Sharpe. Subs Aiden Geeves Giovanni Zivarno Lee Marshall Simon Corner Antonio Zongool Landon Evers Prince Mladevic Ryan Steel Peter Homeson Nathan Jackson Martin Jones Stevie Nash. First Half Review: We take the game to them in the opening 15 minutes, the first goal comes from a long headed clearance from BB, and Craggs ran onto it to finish. The second came only a minute later, when a mistake from their defender presented the ball straight to Sharpy for the second. After that we drop the level of performance. "You've got to be f***ng kidding me right? Is there any f****ng point of me saying anything to you lot of what? Cause no matter what I say you don't ****ing listen. That half we went two up, and you lot decided to f**k about. Sony you're not even going out for the second half. What the hell is the point, all you seem to be able to do is hit the ball into a defenders body. You're not even making there keeper work. Twenty f****ng shots, five on target. Is that the stats of a premiership team. HELL NO! Now get the f**k out there now. If you dont improve none of you will be playing in our last friendly against QPR. I'll take the youths to it if I have to. This is getting far too often, and it's not going to get you any where during the season. Play like that aginast Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, or Tottenham, and you can expect to be over-run all game and not even get a point never mind three. We shouldn't even be two up, and we wouldn't if it wasn't for their defender making an horrendous mistake." Second Half Review: The second half isn't much better, although I hit the bar and the post a couple of times, as well as both myself and Marshy scoring goals that get ruled out for offside, the only real talking point is the second half goal, a good through ball from Ry, finds Craggs, who nets for his second. 3-0. "Don't even bother stopping, get changed and get the hell on the coach. If you're not going to listen to what I tell you, don't even bother turning up for next season. We've one game left, if I don't see a better performance than that, you can bet your arse that none of you will be playing in a West Cumbria shirt for the coming season, and you can find yourselves transfer listed." After saying that, obviously fuming, the boss walks out of the dressing room, leaving us to ponder the performance. Result: Leyton Orient 0 (0) - (2) 3 West Cumbria. Goals: West Cumbria: Craig 13, 56; Sharpe 14: MOTM - Craig On the coach there is no atmosphere, nobody is daring to say anything in case of any backlash. I know personally, that the performance was crap, although we got a result, as the boss said before, and what Zal always told us, its not about the result pre-season, it's about the performance. And with only Craggs showing that he deserves a first team place, its not hard to see why the boss is fuming like he is. -- Monday, 26th July 2010 -- We report to the training ground just after lunch, as we got back late due to a crash on the M1. Training is rather subdued, and it's headed by Steve, with no sign of the boss anywhere. Later we get word round the place that he may be resigning from the club. Steph told Steve that she overheard him on the phone, telling whomever he was talking to, that he doubts he'll stay at the club for much longer. We may be grinding out results, but nobody is listening to him, and it's making him feel like he's not really welcomed as the manager. Knowing that most of us wanted Steve to take over from Zal. I decide to get the players round. "Okay, lads, this is a difficult time for us, we've got a new manager in, we need to get on well with him, start to play the way we did for Zal under him. Yes, we're all sad Zal left, that's true, but we all knew that it was going to happen, whether this year, or next. It was coming. And yes, we all wanted Steve to take over from Zal, but Steve has said time after time, that he doesn't want to take the managers role, but will look to stay on as the assistant manager or a coach, providing whoever was to take over would allow. So we've got to respect Steve's decision on that. So, in which case the board had to make a decision on who to get in, and they've brought in Funk. Who yes, you know I'm a fan from his playing days, but putting that a side we've got to give him a chance and work with us. He's come in, and from the start, he has not tried to change how we play, where we play or how we work things backstage. All he's done is take us for an extra strength fitness training day, which admittedly everyone of you loved. He's not Zal, so we should expect that how things are done in training are different, but we've got to work on that, we've got to get used to training that way, but we can't let our own ego's get in the way or working with him. There is no point in trying to get him to leave, as who will they get in to replace him? Steve won't take the job, so we know it will be somebody else. Martin O'Neil would be high on the list, that's for sure. Besides, Funk has already reassured me, he's not looking to dip into the transfer fund, as he is of the confidence that our abilities can prove to be the best in the league again. So we need to show him he is right, and we need to start to play with and for each other. We are the one's who'll lose out in the end. We could end up destroying this club that we owe it to for brining us into the world of football. Come on guys, let's get it sorted." "Aye, SJ's right guys. We owe it to Andre and to the club to try and work with Simon." BB adds. After several moments of chatter amongst themselves, they all agree that we will try even harder in training and on the field to support Funk. -- Tuesday, 27th July 2010 -- After a hard training session, one in which nobody lacks any commitment and does his best to give everything into it, trying to impress the boss, who has decided to join us today. Obviously calmed down somewhat after his disappointment from our last performance. After training he gathers us all round. "Okay, I'm going to be honest. I was hard on you the other night, we won, but that was not what I care about at this stage. It's not mid-season, results are not the most important thing. We've got to look at these games to get our match fitness levels up, our work rate as a team up and to make sure we are sharp on all aspects of our game. I apologise for being hard on you. But I hope you understand where I was coming from." He says, somberly. "No boss, its us that should apologise. We haven't been playing the best we can. We've not been looking to try. We were disappointed that Steve didn't get the job, He's been at the club since the start, firstly as a player then the assistant. We felt he deserved the chance. But he doesn't want to take up a managerial role, and we need to respect that, and respect Andre's decision in bringing you into the fold as manager." Paulie shouts up honestly. "Thank you Paulie. Now I know that you've been told that I was overheard saying that I may leave the club soon. Yes, that is true I did say that. But I want to assure you all, as long as work together, and we understand each other, and where we all come from, I think we'll get on fine. At least I hope we do, not for the sake of winning the title, not for the sake of me gaining more world coverage as a manager, or for you lot to get coverage as players, although I will admit you deserve to. But to take this club on further, to make this club the best and most successful club ever. Not just for winning things, but for brining through its ranks the best set of players of any club anywhere... And we do have some stiff competition from Barcelona, with the likes of Xavi, Iniesta and Messi etc." "Sign them!" Gio shouts from the back. "Are you willing to give up your spot in the 25 man squad for them Gio?" Funk hits back. A few laughs ring out. "No, I've assured your Capitan, that I won't be looking at signing players. Well ones who would be in demand for a squad place. As there is no way that I can drop any one of you from the squad." A few more minutes pass by with the clear the air talks before he dismisses us to go home and relax before tomorrow's training. Afterwards he thanks me for sticking up for him. I ask how he knew, and he admitted that he was told by Crackers, who overheard me talking to them. -- Thursday, 29th July 2010 -- "Okay, tonight the last chance you'll have before I've got to make my choice for who'll start in the Charity Shield.... Yes I know it's not called that anymore, but then again we wont be playing in a league that was called the FA Carling Premiership. The FA should just make a name and bloody stick with it, such as the league cup, whats that now, the Carling Cup, thank god the FA Cup is still that. Anyway, I'm going to start with the following line-up. Mast in goal, Paulie right back, Landon left back, and Bri and BB in the centre, Marty right wing, Leo left. Gio and Sony in the centre. SJ and Mlad up top. Ghost and Stevie, you'll be sitting this game out." Match: Q.P.R. Vs. West Cumbria Line-up: 4-4-2 GK - Paul Master RB - Paul Michaels LB - Landon Evers CB - Brian Haye CB - Matt Jones RM - Martin Jones LM - Leon Williams CM - Michael Vio CM - Giovanni Zivarno ST - Simon Corner © ST - Prince Mladevic Subs Aiden Geeves Javier Minkler Lee Marshall Paul Craig John Stevens Robert Gááry Jason Sharpe Ryan Steel Peter Homeson Nathan Jackson Alan Bell Richard Farely. First Half Review: We do well, and start with an upbeat tempo. Although it comes at a price, with 6minutes on the clock, we lose Marty through injury. But luckily for us a minute later we take the lead, after a cross from Leo, finds its way to me, and I keep cool to slot it home 1-0. 9minutes later we get a second, I attempt a shot which gets blocked, the rebound falls to Gio, who smashes it past Kenny in the goal for the second. 2-0. A third is added three minutes later, a corner from the right comes in and BB heads it goalwards, it takes a little deflection off the defender on the line and goes in for three. Although its given as an own goal. 3-0. 19minutes later, we find ourselves four up, thanks to another own goal, I break down the left before laying the ball into Mlad’s path, he strikes the ball goalwards only for a heafty deflection takes it past the keeper. 4-0. “Thats a much better performance, we’re playing really well together. Although there is just a couple of points to make. When we’re crossing, or taking corners, Stop aiming high balls at the smaller guys, and stop playing the low corners into BB. He’s had one high cross and we’ve come away with a goal to show.” Second Half Review: The second half is a lot quieter, They go slightly defensive to keep the score down, we fail to create too many chances, we do however manage to get another goal, when another break away from me leads to me laying it back to Pete, who nestles it into the back of the net. 5-0. “Okay, that second half was not as good as the first, we started to give them alot more possession, as well as that we started struggling to complete our passes. We need to make sure we play our best we can in both halves, otherwise we will be caught out by the bigger sides.” Result: Q.P.R. 0 (0) – (4) 5 West Cumbria Goals: West Cumbria: Corner 7; Zivarno 16; Buzsaky OG 19; Orr OG 38; Homeson 74: MOTM – Corner. -- PS. After finding that I screwed up on the database a little, this is going to take a slight change (and stats in game will change as I'll be starting a new game. I'll skip over the pre-season and get to the day after this game (unless there is a friendly on that specific day.) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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