Ultimate Football Manager Internet Game [*Not an Established Clan anymore as currently we are a disgrace*]

[Azmodai]

btw when i mean 4 games i mean 4 long term games totalling 8+ seasons

[Kelvin Farrell]

Can I please join. I'm eager to show other players my potential. I'll be any team available. But Nottingham Forest would be my preferred choice.

[Deano]

Hi Kelvin

Use the clan website forum to apply

http://www.ufmig.com/forum/

Cheers Deano

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

Be warned Kelvin, were all pretty easy going, but Deano's a real bully towards new members

[Deano]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lambie's Lovechild:

Be warned Kelvin, were all pretty easy going, but Deano's a real bully towards new members <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm not a bully

Unless your surname is Marlow, of course

[bell]

We should all get some BBC blue wristbands and make Deano see the error of his ways

[Deano]

bizzarely i have one of those

[Azmodai]

just out of intrest...

what are blue wristbands for?

[bell]

Its a Radio 1 campaign against bullying, similar to the Lance Armstrong yellow wrist bands

[Azmodai]

right... can I have a pink one?

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

I want one in Red and Yellow that says "Bring Back Lambie"

And i want it yesterday!

[mattie]

Ive got a couple fo things i'd like to mention, i was the first person to apply for the clan on your forums , are you going to be doing some kind of first come first serve join list, dogs ive spoke to deano on msn he said check with you on msn but you never reiply, and does anyone know when that patch is coming out so you can start and more importantly... I CAN JOIN!!!

[Azmodai]

The Devs said patch was going to be out before xmas. what a merry time to start a clan game

[Marlow]

btw, no I doubt it'd be first come first serve, only the ELITE will have the chance of joining UFMIG. ahem.

[DezMW]

Why'd they let you in then Lee?

[Marlow]

Ask Dogs.

(Yes, webcam.)

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DezMW:

Why'd they let you in then Lee? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You wouldnt believe how much money he offered to each clan member just to be allowed into the chatroom, never mind given a team.

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

Im away this weekend lads, but if the patch comes out and everyone else is available, by all means start without me. I might as well give you lot a headstart

[Deano]

The canine one is off getting drunk on his usual arfa shandy this weekend anyway

[Azmodai]

i need teh ufmiiggg i need itttt

[Azmodai]

ok so patch out tomorrow hopefully. That means we start on saturday right?

Can't wait \o/

[dogs]

Yep server is stable and we are penciling in friday for a start.

Preseason is a slog but worth it

[Azmodai]

roll on frideeah!

[Marlow]

Friday? :/

[Guest]

Hi Dogs was just wondering if it would be possible to join your clan, Ive played champ manager and now this football manager game since was available on my amiga 1200 but never really thought to play it online, well im now bored of playing alone and wanted to make friends that shared the love of this game with me, please let me know if you need another keen player, thank you.

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

applications to the thread on www.ufmig.com please Pops. Youve got a lot of competition for a spot mate

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

Its off, its running, a quiet session last night, some frantic pre-season transfer activity, and the question now .... whos going to get the flying start, and whos going to be the Everton of the league, and whos going to be the Liverpool?

Reports to follow this evening.

[bell]

The session was of course marred by some bizaare bug making me accidently resign...

[Deano]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bell:

The session was of course marred by some bizaare bug making me accidently resign... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

is being stupid a bug in FM now ?

[Azmodai]

Surprise Apponitment at Bramall Lane

There was a huge crowd today in front of the Sheffield United Administration Building, mainly consisting of members of the press and a group of loyal fans. All were gathered in anticipation of the club Chairman's long awaited declaration on the identity of the secret 'new manager'.

Many names were rumoured to take the post after last week's resignment by previous manager Neil Warnock. Apparantly the 55 year old manager couldn't resist the offer to manage K-League minors Kunjang College and declared the move to be a "once in a lifetime offer". We wish him luck on his adventures from now on. Many managers have been linked with the newly availible Sheffield United managing post, including Mr. Terry Venables, once legendary manager of many.

Club chairman Derek Dooley made the anticipated declaration at lunch time, but this declaration was in no way what anyone had expected. The local kebab shop delivery boy was brought out in front of the croud and presented as the "new manager" of the Sheffield Club. Whilst everyone was shocked deeply the rather confused doner-monger could just about make the following declaration:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I am shocked at the attention us kebab boys have been getting lately from different clubs from around the country, but I guess the magical taste of kebab persuades everyone in this country. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

when asked how he was offered the job, the 25 year old Doner boy simply replied:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I was to deliver 3 portions of shish kebab to the chairman as usual at around lunch time. When I got there the Chairman was in quite a panic and asked me if I knew anything about football, I told him reluctantly that I'd won 35 pounds from a weekend multiple bet once and planned to do it again sometime. I guess the answer satisfied him well. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nobody can give any reason for this shock appoitment, but then again Sheffield United are known for their inconsistancy and we guess this is just another Temporary solution to stir up some attention. The plan has worked well so far, but will Sheffield United somehow pull off a miracle and use this attention to their advantage or will they simply sink to the bottom as is expected of them after this dubious signing. We're all to see.

--:**:--

Pre-Season Dealings and Purchases

Pre-season was quite chaotic as the players met their new manager who to their surprise was quite young and inexperienced compared to what they were expecting. The first move that new Boss Mr.Karakurt made was to give away assistant manager and defensive midfielder Stuart McCall for free to Stoke. This happened on the first day of appointment and Mr.McCall stated rather bluntly:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I'm happy I managed to escape this loony bin in time, I don't know what the board were thinking but Sheff Utd is going to smell like a doner sandwich with extra onion sauce <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

talk about controversy.

Two other signings were made rapidly a few days later... former Hungarian International Zsolt Dveri was bought in on a free transfer as well as Iraqi Attacking midfielder Nashat Akram. When asked to issue a comment on the situation, Mr.Dveri stated rather enthusiastically:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>igen, igen, me heppi tu bi heer <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mr. Akram was unavailible for comment as he had a rather tight scedule involving getting to the training ground in time to meet his new boss.

A new, unknown Italian coach was brought into the club as an assistant manager to replace Mr.McCall since Mr.Karakurt needed someone to ask for advice on the basic logic of Managing a team in general. The Italian was convinced upon being offered a free round of Doner kebab every Monday, Thursday and Sunday.

Danny Cadamarteri, Paul Shaw, Emanuele Gabrieli and Ashley Ward were also sold because they were apparantly:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Too old to move a muscle, or too young to think wisely <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

not a decision that was respected my most fans, but that's the world of football management to be honest.

on the 16th of july Sheffield United secured the signing of peter weatherson for 10k from morton, the Irish forward stated he was looking forward to his spell at the club. Along with him, Sheffield also managed to sign Antti Sumiala, ex Finnish international forward. The front line at Sheffield UTD seems more than adequate at the moment.

* * *

The beginning of August saw the signing of young Iraqi Attacking Midfielder Nashat Akram, this 19 year old had impressed Turkish manager Emir Karakurt a few months back when Mr.Karakurt bet that he'd "manage to dribble past 6 people" in the Iraq vs. Saudi Arabia match. He was proved wrong but was still impressed by the young iraqi.

Young greek midfielder Karakatsanis was to join 3 days later as Paul Thirwell was anounced on sale.

The first 3 games of the league weren't very bright, but Sheffield United managed to play all three without a Loss. Drawing their first two games 1-1 and 0-0 respectively and grabbing their first points against a strong Watford side with a late Quinn header.

What the future holds for this young team remains to be seen but it sure isn't the start the fans hoped for, let's sit back and see if Mr.Karakurt will indeed warm up with the fans.

The Sheffield Telegram

[dogs]

fantastic intro Azmo, mines going to follow.

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

We are Wigan, Super Wigan, We hate Widnes, St Helens too. We think that Warrington, is full of Scally's, please dont take, my Wigan, away

The fans bayed for blood when Jewell was sensationally axed after only a season in charge, a season which Wigan had progressed spectacularly in, and they hoped that the board would provide them with a new hero, an experienced campaigner with all the right credentials to manage a top team.

They got 30yr old Stevie "Bod" McGuinness, a rookie with no managerial experience on anything except some online computer games. They were furious. Now only results on the pitch could save them from tearing the JJB Stadium apart. Could the rookie deliver where Jewell had failed, and guide them to the promised land of the Premiership?

Players In

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

<LI>Mutiu (AM RC) - Free Transfer

<LI>Wayne Quinn (DM L) - Free Transfer

<LI>Freddy Adu (F LC) - Free Transfer

<LI>Martin Corrigan (D RC) - £100k - Motherwell

<LI>Pierre Wome (DM L) - Free Transfer

<LI>Emmanuel Petit (DM C) - Free Transfer

<LI>Dwight Pezzarossi - AM/F RLC - Free Transfer

<LI>Zoltan Sebescen - D/DM R - Free Transfer

<LI>Zander Diamond - D C - £250k - Aberdeen

<LI>Harold Lozano - DM RC - Free Transfer

<LI>Freddy Guarin - DM RC - £2.5M - Envigado

<LI>Steven Hammell - D/DM L - £100k - Motherwell

<LI>Jordi Cryuff - F LC - Free Transfer

Wigan 0 - 0 Rotherham

Not the start the manager had in mind. Expensively assembled talent, but no team spirit, and Wigan are fortunate to come away with a draw , although Ellington hits the bar and Teale misses an open goal.

Sunderland 0 - 1 Wigan

Now THATS more like it. A solitary strike from a breakaway by Jason Roberts is the difference between the teams, and whilst Sunderland have the majority of posession, Wigan constantly look dangerous on the break, and should have won by more.

Wigan 1 - 0 Stoke

Another game, another win. The good start to the season has surprised many fans, but theyre clearly a little worried about the fact that despite 7 points from 9, Wigan have only scored 2 goals. However, Jason Roberts deflected strike on

57 minutes only tells half the story of a match which was completely dominated by the home side and should have been a lot more.

Ipswich 1 - 3 Wigan

They call him "The Duke".

They can call him "The King" after this performance. Nathan Ellington steamrollers his way to a first half double, both times climbing over a static, and frankly ****-scared Ipswich defence to head home from 6 yards out, and with a Jason Roberts breakway goal inbetween for good measure, this one is dead by half time. A late Tommy Miller strike makes it 3-1, but Ellington then hits the bar and the post and the visitors batter their Suffolk hosts into submission, showing a gulf in class not seen since Ipswich last visited Old Trafford.

So with 10 points from a possible 12, the fans are reasonably impressed. Their best start to a season in 37 years gives them hope for a playoff spot at least, but they wonder when theyre going to see the best of their manager, when hes in a tight situation with some real pressure on him. The honeymoon period will soon be over.

Wigan 0 - 0 Burnley

And this was the bursting of the bubble. Despite a lot of posession, a local derby like this is always scrappy, and rarely won by more than a goal, and in this case, neither side was able to seriously trouble the opposition goal, Ellington hitting the Bar being the closest either side really came.

[Blaine]

This is from memory because I'm not yet into the habit of taking down results etc. Hopefully the next one should be better.

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The start of the new season saw a shock managerial appointment, with rookie manager Blaine Emmett coming in for Billy Davies (who had resigned following a row with the board). This position had been occupied by big names such as David Moyes

and Craig Brown in recent years, so it came as a shock to most fans when Emmett was appointed.

Emmett was issued with the brief of maintaining a respectable position and freshening up the playing squad, which the board believed to have gone somewhat stale; the cause of the disagreement with ex-gaffer Davies.

Emmett's first move was to bring in experienced fullback Rufus Brevett from West Ham for a nominal. On the transfer, he said "We're short of cover in that area, only young Ciaran Lyng can really play there, so bringing in Rufus will provide us

with good depth and he'll bring in plenty of experience too, having played at the top level for so long."

Loan moves were also made for promising youngsters, with Neil Mellor and Jon Ostemobor arriving from Liverpool and David Jones and Paul Tierney arriving from Manchester United. All 4 players were signed up for the length of the season, taking up the full allowance of 4 long term loanees.

Matchday 1

The opening day of the season saw Stoke travel the short distance up to Deepdale. The usual buzz created by the start of the season was soon to be amplified by a fantastic match.

Debuts were handed to Rufus Brevett, Neil Mellor, who started up-front alongside Northern Irish international David Healy, David Jones who lined up in midfield with former Man City man Dickson Etuhu. Jon Ostemobor slotted in beside club captain Chris Lucketti at the back while Paul Tierney sat out the game with an injury he had picked up before joining the club but had not prevented him in passing his medical.

The rest of the team looked familiar to the PNE faithful, the line up in full: Lonergan, Alexander, Ostemobor, Lucketti, Brevett, Lewis, Etuhu, Jones, Daley, Healy, Mellor.

Strikes from Etuhu, Healy (2), Mellor and Daley saw Preston ease past Stoke 5-2, much to the delight of the North End fans, who had expressed some disapproval to Emmett's appointment in the build up to the game.

Matchday 2

The game against Watford was postponed to a later date due to international call ups. Winger Eddie Lewis and centre half Claude Davis were in action as the USA faced Jamaica. Lewis' team were the eventual winners by 2 goals to 1.

Matchday 3

The following Saturday saw PNE make the trip to Portman Road to face Joe Royle's Ipswich side. A solitary goal in the opening five minutes from Ian Westlake was enough to decide the game. The team was unchanged from the opening game, other than Brian O'Neil coming in for the injured David Jones.

Matchday 4

The next week, Preston welcomed Chris Campbell's West Ham side to Deepdale. In what was potentially a tricky tie, the Lilywhites took an early lead through ex-Hammer Neil Mellor. The lead was soon doubled, when within 5 minutes David Healy struck past Walker. This gave PNE a comfortable margin which West Ham never really threatened. The result was put beyond doubt halfway through the second half, when Mellor grabbed his second.

(The side saw David Jones return for Brian O'Neil and Tierney come in for Brevett).

[Marlow]

Well, well, well what have we here. It seems UFMIG is back once again and to shock you all I have decided to manage the mighty Cardiff City FC.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

South Wales Echo

Bluebirds appoint unknown Welshman.

In a shocking decision Bluebirds chairman Sam Hammam relieved Lennie Lawrence of his duties and within hours the new man for the job was appointed.

The Echo can now exclusively reveal that the new Cardiff City Football Club manager is, Lee Marlow.

Who?!, I hear you cry but fear not readers this man has great experience of playing a Football Management Simulation game over the internet!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

South Wales Echo

Changes afoot under Marlow

With the newly appointed Bluebirds boss having been at the club for only a matter of weeks he certainly seems keen to settle in.

Mr Marlow will now officially release a statement on the new Cardiff signings.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

• Lasse Staw from Fredrikstad for £190k. – Goalkeeper.

• Peter Van Vossen on a free transfer. Left Wing/Forward.

• Winston Bogarde on a free transfer. – Defender

• Willie Mclaren from Airdrie for £40k. – Left Winger.

• Frank De Boer on a free transfer. – Defender.

• Sam Parkin from Swindon for £350k. – Striker.

• Abel Xavier on a free transfer. – Right Back

• Trond Erik Bertelsen from Haugesund for £50k. – Left Back.

• Isaac Okoronkwo on a free transfer. Defender.

• A world class keeper will be signing at the end of the season accompanied by a top quality striker in January.

</pre>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Marlow]

7th August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Cardiff City (0)0 Vs Gillingham (0)1

We dominated this game really but it was just a lesson in finishing in the end.

We had far more chances but just couldnt score and then in the 80th minute they took their only one.

A very poor peformance from the Bluebirds.

Cardiff MOM - Boland.

Marlow Rating - 5.

____________________________________________________________

10th August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Rotheram (2)2 Vs Cardiff City (0)0

Proctor put the home side ahead five minutes before half time.

They got their second on the half time whistle.

The second half was pretty much all Cardiff, but again we were unable to take our chances and their keeper played a blainder.

Cardiff MOM - Xavier.

Marlow Rating -6.

____________________________________________________________

14th August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Cardiff City (1)1 Vs Sunderland (2)2 [serpicio]

An early goal from Sunderland gave them the advantage from the off and they doubled that lead after 20 minutes.

We managed to pull one back before half time through Alan Lee though.

With us getting alot of play in the second half w were unlucky not to sneak an equalizer, coming close on several occasions.

Cardiff MOM - Lee.

Marlow Rating - 6.

____________________________________________________________

17th August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Stoke (0)0 Vs Cardiff City (1)1

With Cardiff now in desperate need of some points we faced a tricky away victory to fellow strugglers Stoke.

'Super' Sammy Parkin gave us the lead with a controlled finish inside 15 minutes.

We dominated the second half but just couldn't grab a second goal.

Overall a very good peformance to give the Bluebirds our first win of the campaign. Very encouraging peformance.

Cardiff MOM - Kavanagh.

Marlow Rating - 8.

____________________________________________________________

21st August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Cardiff City (0)0 Vs Ipswich (0)0

A very tight and tense game throughout against mid-table Ipswich with both side creating few chances and the game being played mostly in the centre of the park.

Cardiff MOM - Warner.

Marlow Rating - 7.

____________________________________________________________

25th August 2004

League Cup - Round One

Grimsby (Lg.2) (0)0 Vs Cardiff City (1)2

Van Vossen fired us ahead after just 5 minutes in his first game upfront for the Bluebirds.

Super Sammy Parkin doubled our lead on the hour after following in on a great strike from Javanagh.

Overall a top quality peformance and also out third cleansheet in a row.

Cardiff MOM - Parry.

Marlow Rating - 9.

____________________________________________________________

28th August 2004

Coca Cola Championship

Burnely (0)0 Vs Cardiff City (1)1

Van Vossen gave us a dream start, slotting the ball come cooly after just 15 seconds.

In the second half we created plenty but just couldn't finish anything.

Still, held on for a comfortable win and also our 4th cleansheet in a row in all competitions.

Cardiff MOM - Langley.

Marlow Rating - 7.

____________________________________________________________

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

League Cup 2nd Round

Chester City 0 - 2 Wigan

Ellington (32). Roberts (44). Despite a bit of early pressure, the two strikes listed above killed this one before half time. A missed penalty awarded in bizarre circumstances on 17 minutes, and ballooned by Daryl Clare pretty much summed up Chesters afternoon. No fluency in the midfield at all. Big cup tie beckons for Wigan!

"Persil Athletic" are born, as Wigan keep their 5th clean sheet in 6 games.

Watford 1 - 3 Wigan

Two things struck the manager about this game. One was that the team he picked wasnt the one that went out on the field (his assistant Chris Hutchings took care of that, picking 3 strikers in midfield for reasons best known to himself) , and the second was that for all his goals this season, his top scorer Jason Roberts had never mastered that most basic of arts, the one on one with the goalkeeper. Time after Time Roberts squandered chances that should have put Wigan on easy street by half time, so McGuinness was very glad that he had The Duke up front, and when his time came for a one on one with the keeper, he made no mistake and levelled the scores after an early Helguson header. And with the half time whistle approaching , Pezzarossi made a run from deep , took a short ball from McCulloch, and slotted hom from 20 yards to give Wigan the lead. 43 minutes gone, McCulloch robs Cox , feeds Ellington , 1-2 with Roberts , *BANG* , 3-1 Wigan!

And with that the match ended for McGuinness. Sitting in the dugout, he took a protest with the linesman too far, and as he turned his back, was decked with a haymaker from the official. McGuinness woke up in Hospital, asking where he was, and what the result was. When told they had won 3-1 and he was in Hospital, he replied "That must have been some party".

[Serpico]

A Love Supreme

Pre-season Editorial

So we're here again ready for another season of under-achievement. When I say "ready" I'm afraid all I'm referring to is the fans. The club appears to be in turmoil. The resignation of Mick McCarthy came as a massive blow to the club's loyal supporters, and the lack of an explanation is an insult to the tens of thousands of Sunderland fans that turn our week after week, home and away. Mick seemed genuinely happy at the club, and has made himself a firm favourite with the fans in a relatively short time. Now he's gone and we don't know why. We deserve to be told the full story. Doubtless we will eventually find out, but in the meantime rumours will emerge and these can't be healthy for a club looking to push for promotion to the Premiership.

The bookmakers must have made a pretty penny on the who-would-take-over bets. We were hopeful it wouldn't be someone like Howard Wilkinson or George Graham but when the new manager was introduced at that press conference we'd have settled for either of those two footballing dinosaurs. When Jim Bristow came onto the stage we thought he was part of a security team for our beloved chairman. The three seconds of silence when it was announced that this man was to be our new manager was even louder than wave of noise that errupted when everyone in the room realised what was happening. And it got worse. This wasn't just some unknown foreign coach that they're foisting on us. No this man has NO experience whatsoever of managing a professional or semi-pro club. He's never played the game above park level either. So why bring him in? Bob Murray says that it's a combination of Bristow's experience at running a business and his ideas for running a team combined that made him the only suitable candidate for the job. Did he expect us to believe that. I'd find it easier to swallow a bowling ball than that notion.

So what can we, the fans do about this? Well the Echo has been inundated with letters questioning the appointment, and the only subject even coming close to the popularity of this topic on the BBC's 606 programme is Cardiff fans bemusement at the hiring of that Marlow bloke as Bluebirds manager. Ultimately though Bristow is going nowhere until he messes it up on the pitch. If we're bottom of the table in October then I can't see his position remaining tenable. And if we're doing well........well I'll eat my hat.

Keep the faith.

The Editorial Team

[Deano]

Current League Table

Here are the standings to date

[bell]

West Ham slow out of the blocks

A sluggish start for West ham this season after the fans expected a return to premiership football come May.

Wigan hoovering up players in the transfer market have made it tough for West Ham to strengthen a rather weak side. Purchases of Berkovic and Lekgwathi to strengthen a very weak midfield has started to yield some points. Hopefully the team can build momentum and climb the league table.

The team certainly lacks a goalscorer having hit just 3 goals in 6 games and this stems mainly from a lack of creativity which Berkovic which heopfully provide on his arrival.

[Deano]

Game News

Some of the latest goings-on from the game.

http://www.ufmig.com/thefishwrappermini/

[Serpico]

I've been bending Duffy's arm about letting us test the improved net game code, and he seems enthusiastic. Won't be before next week though.

[Marlow]

[Azmodai]

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

Wigan 3 - 0 West Ham

Chris Campbell brought his underachieving big boys to the JJB intent of halting his recent form slump, which has puzzled McGuinness due to the fact Campbell is one of the better managers in the division, and tactically has never looked vulnerable. And yet thats exactly what they looked here. Unable or unwilling to close down the midfield , Wigan just ran with the ball whenever they wanted, and the Hammers packed the defence hoping to stay level. When Roberts opened the scoring in 12 minutes after a penalty box scramble, the visitors never looked like they had it in them to get back into the game. Unsurprisingly , on 37 minutes , Pezzarossi took a through ball from Frandsen , and , unmarked , slotted home from the edge of the box with the keeper stranded. Things looked like they would only get worse in the 2nd half for the Hammers. An injury to Alan Mahon was the only bright spot for Campbell in the first 45 minutes. 63 minutes on the clock , Whalley threads the needle , Pezzarossi takes one touch , and its 3-0 and Bell is on the end of a proper hiding. At the heart of everything is Per Frandsen , the 34yr old Finn making the game look so easy. A consummate professional, McGuinness notes afterwards how proud he is to have him in his squad.

The first awards of the year come out. Manager of the Month goes to Stevie "Bod" McGuinness, and Player of the Month goes to Jimmy Bullard. The nearing of the end of the transfer window sees the Wigan transfer machine bring in a few new bodies.

Players in

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

<LI>Harold Wapenaar (GK) - Portsmouth - £160k

<LI>Guy Demel (D/DM C) - Dortmund - £100k

Wapenaar comes in to challenge Filan for the no.1 jersey, and Demel comes in to resolve an injury crisis thats threatening to get out of hand, as Wigan have EIGHT first team midfielders injured. In desperation , McGuinness goes to Hibs and buys young Scott Brown for £275k , hoping to retrain him as a Midfielder. Retail Therapy seems to work for McGuinness. After he realises that the youngster wont be joining till January, he remonstrates with UEFA to allow him to join early because "Its just no fair". His plea falls on deaf ears (also knowns as "The SFA").

Brighton 0 - 2 Wigan

Pace, precision , power. When hes in full flight, Jason Roberts is uncatchable. And when he acts on instinct and just blasts the ball in a straight line, inevitably he scores. Its when hes given time in a 1 on 1 that he misses horribly. 19 minutes on the clock , a magnificent long ball from Teale lands in Roberts' path. He controls it with one touch , ghosts past the defender with pure pace with his second touch , and takes 2 more touches over the next 20 yards, the second one exploding past a static keeper. Amazingly , it takes till the 81st minute to put this one away , Matt Jackson getting on the end of a Teale corner for 2-0. Game ends with Brighton getting absoloutely nowhere near the Wigan goal.

So 8 league games completed. 20 points achieved. A 4 point lead over 2nd placed Sunderland, and the board proud of their appointment, and the fans acknowledging it was a good decision.

Wigan 1 - 1 Coventry

31 minutes and hes opened his account. The clubs record signing, Freddy Guarin, has played brilliantly in midfield this season, but has had to wait until now to open his account due to the deep nature of his position. A superb pass through the middle from Thome sees Guarin run into space , and slot home at the near post. The fans go wild, theyre delighted for the lad.

Then the madness descends on Guy Demel. A silly booking for a reckless challenge, and he cant keep his mouth shut, and a second yellow, then a red follows. Despite their 1-0 lead, Wigan are now up against it. Can they show fighting spirit and hold on?

No.

Less than 2 minutes later , Steve Staunton crushes a free kick into the wall. A wicked deflection , and its past Filan and into the net. The fans are gutted, and manager visibly upset. Demel will be fined a weeks wages for this indiscretion, and with Guarin and Lozano now fit, may not find his way back into the team for some time.

Its a fighting performance. At times, it looks as though not only will they hold out, but win the game completely, as Guarin misses two gilt edged chances, and Matt Jackson heads, unmarked, over the bar, but alas, a point it is. The crowd goes home happy with the unbeaten record still intact, but the manager is fuming and orders extra training.

[Deano]

What the f**k is he playing at was the question on most Reading fan’s lips, as club chairman/owner John Madejski announced at the hurriedly arranged press conference that there was to be a change of manager at the club, just 4 weeks before the start of the new season.

While the assembled fleet street wags, got their cogs turning to start thinking of just who was going to be taking charge, onto the stage stumbled a nervous looking fatboy….

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Madejski:

Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for coming, for a change I don’t have much to say, other than to introduce the man who I think can take this football club to the next level. So without further ado, here is the new manager of Reading FC, Carl Dean. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stunned Silence

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Madejski:

So, any questions for our new saviour? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Brian Woolnough (Daily Star):

Er, what experience do you have? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Carl Dean:

None, thanks for the warm welcome <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>John Sadler (The Sun):

What did you catch the Chairman doing, in order to blackmail him into giving you the job? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Carl Dean:

You’d have to ask him about that. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Chairman slopes off the stage in a un-ninja like fashion, all hell breaks loose as the entire press party goes after him.

Pre-Season

Overall I thought that we had a squad that could do the business and get us promoted to the Premiership. The main position that needed looking at was the lack of cover at centre back. It was decided that around half of the paltry transfer budget would be sent to Nottingham with Wes Morgan coming in the opposite direction. Second on the hit list was to bring in a quality holding player, and Okpara would was available on a free transfer was enticed to the Madejski with a bulging wage packet.

Players In

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

<LI>Per Ciljan Skjelbred (M RLC) – £170k - Rosenborg

<LI>Aaron Brown (M LC) - Free Transfer

<LI>Wes Morgan (D C) – £300k – Nottingham Forest

<LI>Patrick Mtiliga (D/DM L) - £210k - Feyenoord

<LI>Godwin Okpara (DM C) - Free Transfer

Six preseason friendlies, Six Impressive Wins. Could Dean know what this management lark is all about?

The Season Begins

Reading 0 - 0 Burnley

Uttlery dominated possession, numerous chances on goal, restricted dreadful Burnley to a couple of hopeful long shots, but woeful finishing by Owusu and Forster who between them missed 9 chances meant the spoils were shared.

Watford 2 - 3 Reading

A better performance from the strikeforce, but a shocking one from the back four. A Nick Shorey penalty on 34 minutes opened our account, but the lead only lasted 9 minutes as Gunarsson struck back for the Hornets. Patrick Mtiliga hit his first goal for the club 10 minutes after the break, with a beautiful left footed strike from just inside the box, but “The Sieve†failed again, and the lead only lasted 5 minutes, as Watford’s captain Sean Dyche slotted home from 6 yards. But we proved that we have resilience as Lloyd Owusu hit a fantastic winner with 7 minutes left to take all three points.

Reading 1 - 1 West Ham

Another shocking performance from the boys up front. A colossal 19 chances created, 13 on target and our goal came from a 13th minute Nick Shorey penalty, only for this to be cancelled out by the Hammer’s only effort on target as OAP Sheringham met Etherington’s cross on 18 minutes. Complete pish.

Brighton 0 - 1 Reading

Dreadful. But at least we won, but it took yet another Shorey penalty to secure the win.

Reading 1 - 0 Coventry

On the face of it, this would look like a disappointing result against an inconsistent Coventry side. After once again dominating possession, but doing precious little with it, it looked as though we would have to make do with a draw at best as Brian Canvey rightly got his marching orders after 69 minutes, due to two Scholes like tackles. But cometh the hour, cometh the Goat. A great defence splitting ball down the centre from Glenn Little on 78 minutes, fed him, and he didn’t need to be asked twice to slot the ball into the bottom corner.

Reading 2 - 0 Colchester

The 1st round of the League Cup pitted rubbish Colchester against the Royals, and they were just as bad as expected.

Milwall 1 - 0 Reading

Read all about this game here.

[Azmodai]

The Coca-Cola Championship Circus?

The Championship certainly has been nothing short of a circus display this year, as big shots drop down, and minors rise all the way. Promotion favorites Leeds has been underwhelming since the start of the season and have already sacked their manager. Other promotion favorites Derby have also been sulking in the drop zone for weeks now, only recently to be topped by yet another premiership favorite team... the team that gave us Joe Cole, that's right ladies and gentlemen, we're talking about West Ham... in fact the only promotion favorite teams to be performing well is Sunderland and Leicester... the black cats have been trailing in 3rd position since almost the start of the season whilst Leicester has been holding on to 2nd place firmly.

Whilst the situation was dark and spooky for the bigshots, the little teams have been doing quite well... Crewe Alexandra, Sheffield United and Preston are some of the 'surprise' playoff position teams at the moment. Whilst Wigan are currently leading the Season. All though Wigan was tipped as an outside contender for the promotion spot, nobody would have guessed them to be standing in first place, despite their outrageous Financial Structure and Overclassed Squad.

Other controversial appointments this season include Cardiff, Millwall and Reading. Whilst Reading and Millwall have started well into the season (with Milwall particularly dominant in Europe) a time of decline has overwhelmed both teams, Cardiff on the other hand are recovering from a rather dissapointing start to the season, recently loosing to Leicester, but otherwise doing well.

It sure is an exciting year, and with the first 2 and a half months gone the league is slowly starting to shape up. Whilst its still early to make end of season predictions, we can clearly say that the new blood the management scene has encountered recently has been quite refreshing and is shaping up the whole league into something rather intresting. We know the book keepers are having a great time.

The FootyReport Weekly

[Azmodai]

Doner-Monger Madness?

Things have been quite out of the ordinary this year in Sheffield, thanks to the appointment of unknown kebab-monger Emir Karakurt as manager by Sheffield United. Whilst not a team expected to reach great heights in the league this year, the Blades do hold quite a strong side, with many young talents like Micheal Tonge and Phil Jagielka. The appointment of this 25 year old Turkish Kebab chef was the centre of mocking for all, which displeased fans of the Blades immensly

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>We're sick and bloody tired of being dissed by all them wednesday fans about our onion mouthed manager <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

stated a young Blades fanatic earlier this season in an interview.

Things have changed of late though, as the Blades have been in serious contention for a playoff spot lately, also narrowly beating league leaders Wigan F.C away. The once mocked Kebab boy is now a popular face in the Sheffield region and his shop is making even more money from all the publicity.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>even wednesday fans are coming in... its amazing! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

as quoted from one of the waiters at Emir's Doner Lounge.

The season so far has seen the Blades grab a place in the playoff spot but recently Sheff Utd has done the seemingly impossible and reached 2nd spot in the league. This is quite a considerable effort regarding that a new inexperienced manager is involved and half the star players at sheffield want to move away, but Karakurt seems to manage to hang in there.

Micheal Tonge has won a couple of awards already and Antti Sumiala is currently Joint Second in the Golden boot race and Hungarian Midfielder Zsolt Dveri is slowly learning English, a relief to the whole team...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Zsolt Dveri (Rather Enthusiastically): Igen, igen, me spiik english now <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The results of Sheffield UTD's games up till now are as follows:

[THIS SPACE WILL BE fILLED WITH A SCREENSHOT TOMORROW NIGHT FOR ACCURACY'S SAKE]

The most notable Results out of this lot has to be the 4-0 Leeds win at home and the 2-1 Away win to League Leaders Wigan FC. So far Karakurt has been doing well and it seems he may even be in contention for 1st place and a guaranteed ticket to the premier league, the result is still a mystery to us all but it is a mystery that we are waiting to unravel pretty soon.

- The Sheffield Tribune

note: i will start my match by match reports after next session (sunday 19th December) followed by an interview with the squad. Stay tuned.

oh and many thanks to the UFMIG gang for lightening up my late weekend evenings... you're all great

[bell]

West Ham rally after pooor start

After a very poor start seeing West Ham occupying 23rd place in the table.

Manager Chris Campbell needed carry on the strengthening of the team and the signature of Eyal Berkovic went a long way towards that. The out of favour Goran Bunjecevic from Spurs was another string signing for the club and the team also secured the long term loan of Arsenal youngster Jeremie Aliadiere.

The team showed some response after the first two signings, taking 4 points from 9 under the temprorary stewardship of Peter Grant.

Upon the signing of Aliadiere though the clubs fortunes started to change.

West Ham 4 Crewe 0

A Zamora first hald penalty gave the Hammers a 1-0 first half lead before he was replaced through injury. Bunjevcivic missed a penalty before West Ham took full control with two goals from Aliadiere either side of a Rebrov bullet.

West Ham played by far the best football they have done the season as the team looks to be starting to gel under Campbell's tactical system.

Derby 3 West Ham 4

West Ham raced into a 3-0 lead inside 25 minutes in this game Aliadiere hitting 2 and Rebrov the other. Derby then took control of the game and hit back twice before Bunjevcevic hit a 4th for West Ham in the second half. Crewe once again pegged the scoreline back and almost threatened to nick a point hitting the bar in the 89th minute.

However campbells energetic tactics are proving tiring to the squad and with many injuries the team will still need to be strengethen if they are too challenge this season.

The club are now sat in 13the place in the table and with a continued run of form they could thrust themselves into Play-off contention.

[Azmodai]

Slow Conditions Delay Efficiency of Games?

We are all familiar with conditions that can slow games down... even postpone them entirely. They usually come in the form of gale, sleet, rain and snow... and a new type of weather condition was introduced with the beginning of this campaign.

This new condition, whilst not currently endangering the immediate consistency of the game, can actually slow it down to annoying rates at time... the condition is caused mainly by the heavy gravitational pull of the Earth's Centre and the Sun. Caught in between this massive pull is a varying factor that specifies the intensity of this heavy condition, and that factor is called "Internet Connection Lines".

A name has not been specified as yet for this new condition although experts are already starting to call it lag. This heavy condition does its best to slow the rate the games continue as well as even stopping the game entirely for hours on end on a specific day. Yes ladies and Gentlemen it is indeed an annoying condition and has only been encountered at the start of this season, and while it still hasn't done anything serious enough to marr the progression of the game altogether (except once causing Mr.Bell to retire and reconsider his retirement already) it does remain as a long-term depleting annoyance factor.

The only solution it seems is to hope the gravitational pull is lessened by these two masses to start a chemical reaction that will ensure all life occurs at twice the speed as it has already enabling things to pass much quicker... or more easily a patch that will solve all delays and annoyances once and for all.

We hope the solution reaches us in the form of the latter... messing with gravity has never been healthy as Mr.Newton would happily proove to you all if he were still alive and kicking. We hope to inform you with new updates as soon as the situation is considered and relayed to us by the "gods" of the game (Sigames).

The Annoying-Weatherman Daily

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

Lets all do the Wigan Wobble!

League Cup 2nd Round

Stockport County 0 - 3 Wigan Athletic

No contest. Stockport were glad of the run out against higher league opposition , but goals from Guarin (41,60) and Roberts (85) ease the Latics through to the 3rd round without breaking sweat. The next game however may provide a far sterner test of their resolve.

Millwall 0 - 2 Wigan

Pezzarossi! The signing of the season so far, and the Guatemalan striker bags another glorious oal, collecting a Guarin through ball before placing it into the net on 17 minutes. But whatever wight can do , Per Frandsen can do better. With 26 minutes on the clock, the Finn collects a short pass from Pezzarossi, he turns , looks up , and smashes home the hardest, most swerving shot in the history of Football. An unbelievable strike that has McGuinness dancing for joy, and Holligan tearing what little hair he has left out of his head. Halftime comes and goes, and "The Tinkerman" cometh as Holligan attempts to find a way past the Wigan defence. Alas, it brings no joy for the Lions , and Wigan leave the lions den , unbeaten run intact!

Wigan 0 - 1 Leicester

The big games come thick and fast. Having beaten fellow promotion rivals Sunderland , Millwall and West Ham, Wigan needed to put some distance between themselves and 2nd placed Crewe. Within 57 seconds , it was going wrong , as Connolly slammed home from close range. To make matters worse, Guarin missed a 5th minute penalty, and you got the impression the unbeaten run was coming to an end. Guarin then missed a couple of gilt edged chances, Roberts hit the side netting a couple of times when it looked easier to score, and even Pezzarossi was off his game, heading over twice when it looked easier to score. The bubble has burst, the question is, were Wigan fully matured beforehand and ready to tackle the task at hand.

Reading 0 - 1 Wigan

But Salvation was at hand in the form of The Nearly Man and his band of intrepid, but lacking in bottle, journeyman players. A solitary goal from Alan Mahon after just 5 minutes was the difference maker in this one. Wigan stay clear at the top, but a sterner test is coming.

Wigan 1 - 2 Sheff Utd

Wigan contrived, against all odds, and with the backing of a vocal crowd, to hand victory to the Blades without any real effort. Their inability to stop a long ball over the top cost them time and again, as Sumiala, who has about as much pace as an olympic sprinter WITHOUT a blood doping agent, managed to run onto ball after ball, and when he had the ball , all he had to do was shoot, from anywhere, and the dozy ****ing keeper would say "Hang on , he hit that from more than 6 yards, ill just trundle across there and .... whoops , its already in the net". TWICE!. John Filan is a liability and its been made clear to him that whilst he captained the side in the absence of Matt Jackson, hes being dropped for Waapenaar until such times as he can restore the managers faith in him. For the record , Roberts score the Wigan goal with a 20 yard strike that Fatty Kelly drops into the net because hes a chubby ******* with no goalkeeping ability whatsoever. The Blades then hold on by playing 10 men behind the ball and kicking anything, ball or player, that comes into their half.

league cup 3rd round

Wigan 2 - 0 Everton

Cup Upsets are few and far between this season, and this game looked for 65 minutes like it was going to fizzle out to a goalless draw.

Enter "The Duke"

85 and 88 minutes were the moments that turned the game. Both strikes were absolute class, collecting the ball 20 yards out, beating his marker, and slotting home into the corner. Wigans fans go mental winning this cup tie against their huge local rivals, and a money spinning tie against Premiership opposition beckons.

Preston 1 - 1 Wigan

25 minutes on the clock. Its Baines , to Whalley , To Frandsen , to Whalley , to Pezzarossi , to Whalley , to Frandsen , to Whalley , a cross deep into the box , Per Frandsen , 1-0 Wigan. A series of one touch passes that dazzled and delighted the travelling support, and reminded them why theyre so lucky to have such a talented playmaker in the squad.

It didnt look a fair contest for large portions of the match, but Preston still had their moments, and if Neil Mellor could head a ball straight theyd have been level. Into the 2nd half, and he did, though completely by accident. Off balance , he fell forward into a cross and it deflected off his head into the bottom corner of the net. Thereafter normal service was resumed and Wigan absolutely battered the home side looking for the winner, hitting shot after shot against an overperforming Lonergan in the Preston goals, and somehow they hold out for a point leaving Wigan again wondering where its all going wrong.

Wolves 1 - 1 Wigan

Paul Jones. Glenn Hoddle. Who cares whos in charge at Molineux, everyone knows the team are absolute pish and will fold at the slightest hint of pressure. And so it proves once again, Guy Demel opening his Wigan account with a 75th minute header from a corner. Amazingly , Wolves manage a late equaliser with the biggest fluke in Championship History. A punted ball out of defence from Lee Naylor is left to bounce by Sebescen. Miller runs in and challenges Wapenaar for the ball, both miss it completely and it rolls into the empty net! Wigan fans and management are fuming at the strike after again

dominating so much of the match. The strike force is called in afterwards for extra training, as too many times this eason the opposition have survived when theyve been played off the park because the strikers arent putting away the

chances.

Cardiff 0 - 0 Wigan

The strikers just dont learn. Another extra days training is called for as they yet again completely dominate a side, having shot after shot, and fail to put them away. Pezzarossi is the main culprit this time, his shots all on target but all straight at the keeper. Their inability to finish drops Wigan off the top spot for the first time this season, and Emir Karakurts "Sheffield Kickers" take over the spot.

Wigan 3 - 0 Nottingham Forest

12 minutes gone, Teale corner from the right , Ellington back post, 1-0. About time the boys got their game together, and they proceed to dominate the visitors for the next 45 minutes, the occasional breakaway causing only minimal problems.

The woodwork saves Forest a number of times, most notably from free kicks by Frandsen and Guarin, but a second goal is inevitable, and comes on 29 minutes , a Teale ball into the middle finds Roberts, his pace takes him beyond the last defender, and he slots home at the near post to double the lead. 54 minutes, and the goal of the game. Roberts collects around halfway into the forest half. He smashes the ball across field to Wome , who controls it with his first touch and chips it into the path of Mahon, who whips in a stunning cross which finds the head of Per Frandsen for 3-0. McGuinness however has already started making some enquiries about loan signings to bolster his underperforming strike force.

League Cup 4th Round

Wigan 0 - 1 Wolves

It wasnt the fact they went out, it was the MANNER in which they went out that annoyed McGuinness. The only goal of the game came when Wapenaar held onto the ball too long and was dispossesed by Miller for an easy tap in. After that, the team underperformed, with very few shots on goal and no fluent passing or hard tackling. McGuinness was absoloutely irate, and promised changes for the next league game. The fact that this performance cost the players an away tie to Arsenal was not something he allowed his charges to forget in a hurry.

Leeds 3 - 0 Wigan

Now this was an embaressment. Promotion chasers, strong team put out, and Leeds made it look like men against boys. Goals from Ricketts , Johnson and Gregan didnt tell the whole story here. Leeds were totally dominant, to the point where Wigan fans wondered why their team was so high in the league, as theyd been completely and utterly outclassed here by a team that looked like they were real Premiership quality, as opposed to the pretenders from the JJB Stadium. McGuinness was awestruck, and his fury knew no bounds afterwards. The performance was gutless, heartless, and worthy of the Ryman Premier League, and no better, and he had no qualms about letting his players know it. New signings were coming in, and a few players who felt their "Fan Favourite" status made them immune to the managers wrath were in for a seriously rude awakening.

Wigan 0 - 0 QPR

Boots. Teacups. Players Contracts. All thrown, all connecting with at least one person. A force 10 hurricane of anger was unleashed on the Wigan dressing room at half time and full time after this performance. The club are stuttering, badly, and in danger of blowing their great start and losing the automatic promotion spots to hungrier teams.

Wigan 3 - 1 Plymouth

A bit better, but not nearly enough. A 22nd minute goal from Pezzarossi, pouncing on a loose ball in the box after a corner from Teale was knocked down by Thome opened the scoring, but despite holding the lead, the Latics never looked comfortable, and the fans nervousness was seeping onto the pitch and into the players. Fortunately , 4 minutes into the 2nd half, Roberts had a good passing move with Pezzarossi, a fortuitous bounce off the defender, and a smashed low shot into the corner to ease the jitters. After that, Wigan played with confidence and verve, Guarin threading balls through at will over a static Plymouth defence.

And then John Filan decided that in his comeback game, the best way to rebuild his managers faith in him was to pass the ball to Steve Crawford 18 yards out, and stand still as he slotted the ball past him. Hell hath no fury like a manager disappointed.

But again, Wigan dug deep. Pezzarossi and Teale combined well for the Guatemalan to stick away his 10th goal of the season and ease the nerves once more. And despite Jackson again passing the ball to Lowndes 10 yards out, Filan stood tall this time to see the match end on a high.