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[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe


ManUtd1
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2 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I will readily admit this.  After leaving Stade de Reims, I was struggling to find the motivation to continue on with the Czech Republic.  September rolled around, finalized my squad...Belgium up first, the same Belgium that annihilated us in the Spring.  Not feeling it.  And then...this happens.

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What the actual ****?  This is surreal.  

Suck it, Hrubes!  Bring on the October fixtures!

Haha! Suck it Belgium never should of been separated from Holland grr

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What a win to have that season! You shouldn't even have been there to start. It was a plot all along!

But congrats, and my condolences as well. But hey! Bye bye to all the ****e Czech, they better be Czeching their luggage out! :brock:

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7 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

2040 European Championships Review

Switzerland / Austria

This really didn't interst me all that much.  Until I saw the final -- Pep the Bald's Germany against Gerard Pique's Spain.  Beautiful.  But not as beautiful as the final scoreline.

It's shame that the same can't be said for Shakira's post-plastic surgery face...no one has ever figured out that night in Valencia, and most still blame Mr. Leto.  Her hips, though?  Yep.  Still very honest.

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Ze Germans fail to register a single shot, much less one on goal.

Gerard is the new Pep.  Up is the new down. Shakira is the new Cher.

Thus spaketh the Telleus.  And thus it shall be.

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Ughh Ireland....

Top the group with Belgium, Turkey and Austria. Then we lose to ****ing Albania.

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I just realized that I completely forgot to express my utter and complete, incandescent outrage at this...

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Nasri?!?!?  NASRI?!  

He's the new Brendan Rodgers, it seems.  The new Bobby Manc.  Both rolled into one.

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Quick update from the Czech national team front...  Our impressive run of form did not continue, as Belgium annihilated us in October, and we drew at home to Ireland in November.  Friendlies bookended these matches.

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In the end, we finished level with Belgium which exceeded my expectations.  A roller-coaster ride, for sure, but I'll take it for now.  We need to find some consistency...

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7 hours ago, Keano16 said:

Obviously Eddie Browne and the lads let you win for the sake of your job with the Czechs. :rolleyes:

Good lads, and on advice of counsel I cannot comment on the rumors surrounding cases of beer being delivered to their FA afterwards.

6 hours ago, Benjoe said:

What a win to have that season! You shouldn't even have been there to start. It was a plot all along!

But congrats, and my condolences as well. But hey! Bye bye to all the ****e Czech, they better be Czeching their luggage out! :brock:

Thanks, man!

6 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Ughh Ireland....

Top the group with Belgium, Turkey and Austria. Then we lose to ****ing Albania.

No kidding -- Turkey is a powerhouse, too.  Great Group Stage showing, but completely fell to pieces in the knockout round.

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Hi, i have been reading your tread, from sweden with great interest over the last week or so and just catched up.

But i didnt have an account so I made one just too be able to thank you for your amazing story and to amount of work you must put into it. Thanks! 

Also, where can I find your youth story with IFK Malmö? I cant seem to find it anywhere...

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2 hours ago, BathCity said:

Hi, i have been reading your tread, from sweden with great interest over the last week or so and just catched up.

But i didnt have an account so I made one just too be able to thank you for your amazing story and to amount of work you must put into it. Thanks! 

Also, where can I find your youth story with IFK Malmö? I cant seem to find it anywhere...

Wow, I'm honored!  thank you for not just taking the time to read, but join/comment!  We all look forward to your save :D

The IFK Malmo save was chronicled in the FM15 youth academy challenge thread, beginning on page 25 (link below).  The problem is that with the change in forum software, about 2 months' worth of postings disappeared, including the final seasons at Malmo.  It's a major shame, because that save rekindled my love for this game -- that isn't hyperbole.  I've loved playing in Sweden ever since (I'm 1/4 Swedish).

 

1 hour ago, Adonalsium said:

The Czech Curse continues...

Will Telleus be able to turn the tables on his haters?! Find out on the next episode of... Håkan Telleus Z.

World War Telleus.

I'm this close to dumping the Czechs.  

10 minutes ago, Akkarin said:

Nasri!????? The game must hate Håkan

Oddly enough, Everyone Hates Hakan is a great concept for a 30-minute, multi-camera sitcom with Emma, Apples, the twins, Ludwig and our expanded cast of characters...

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1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Oddly enough, Everyone Hates Hakan is a great concept for a 30-minute, multi-camera sitcom with Emma, Apples, the twins, Ludwig and our expanded cast of characters...

Currently imagining all the classic/standard sitcom moment melodies being replaced with Ludwig smashing out murderous riffs on a BC Rich Beast.

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1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Wow, I'm honored!  thank you for not just taking the time to read, but join/comment!  We all look forward to your save :D

The IFK Malmo save was chronicled in the FM15 youth academy challenge thread, beginning on page 25 (link below).  The problem is that with the change in forum software, about 2 months' worth of postings disappeared, including the final seasons at Malmo.  It's a major shame, because that save rekindled my love for this game -- that isn't hyperbole.  I've loved playing in Sweden ever since (I'm 1/4 Swedish).

 

World War Telleus.

I'm this close to dumping the Czechs.  

Oddly enough, Everyone Hates Hakan is a great concept for a 30-minute, multi-camera sitcom with Emma, Apples, the twins, Ludwig and our expanded cast of characters...

Thanks! Looking forward to more from you

 

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1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

Currently imagining all the classic/standard sitcom moment melodies being replaced with Ludwig smashing out murderous riffs on a BC Rich Beast.

Definitely a good idea for the next Sonic Death Penguin reunion album.  The last one, a remake of Justin Bieber's Greatest Hits, in the style of Metallica, was critically-acclaimed but little loved by the masses.

1 hour ago, kidthekid said:

The thread that keeps on giving!!!

Ziani seems to not like the big games, missed a sitter and then missed a penalty. But that's Nasri's problem

It's the facial hair -- he's way too worried about getting that mussed up.  Seriously, he's half-pirate.

1 hour ago, BathCity said:

Thanks! Looking forward to more from you

Cheers!  (I've spent too much time with Brits, it seems...).

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I am the egg man, they are the egg men...

610px-Bayer_04_Leverkusen_logo.svg.thumb.png.dd984c4ecefdefd0abf6f19593cd6cfa.png        Czech_Republic_FA.thumb.png.73464eb90797f8de13685c37875fdff2.png

Bayer Leverkusen / Czech Republic

January 2041 Mini-Update

Germany.  Although I wasn't here for long, I find the Bundesliga fits my mood like a glove.  We're awful.  Truly awful.  There may be some quality in the side, but this is not anything like my time at Reims.

With no transfer budget, the Czech "project" is hanging by a thread.  Listen to me.  Now I'm one of those wankers who throws words about like "project" to describe my work.  I'm such a ****.

But at least I'm a **** with a full trophy cabinet.  And a brand new, massive ****-off stadium to play in.

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1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

Oooooh! Now this is an interesting pick!

I've very excited about it.  Had to fix the third kit/color clash though.  Jarring to look at.

They aren't the full-blown Neverkusen that we all know and love, having won the Bundesliga in 2020 and 2026, even if they've suffered relegation twice since then:

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Having just been promoted last summer, things are tight.  There's a lot of work to be done.

I'll be deciding on tactics and the Czechs later tonight, both in light of my non-existent transfer budget and playing staff.  It isn't a "see what changes in the summer" thing for me, in terms of tactics -- we're either going Grapefruit or strikerless.  Whichever isn't followed, I can always resurrect at the next stage of the journey.

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4 minutes ago, nie jem frytek said:

I have heard that Zlatan Ibrahimović became Academy Award winning documentary director and he's now working on Malmö FF - Class of '22 - 20 years later documentary. Is that true and when we will get to know something about fates of squad members of that famous side?

It's a big ask to top Guy Ritche's prior documentary on the Class of '22 -- Malmen: Game of Shadows.  Hakan was very, very upset about that in the dark, early days at Leeds in 2030, just before Apples left him for Emma, after they met on set...

Interestingly enough, Malmo started playing at Ibrahimovic Park last summer:

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I left mid-season (for Sweden), so the 2022 Best XI includes different players and a different formation.  The 2021 version of "where are they now" is this:

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Very underwhelming.

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We're playing Grapefruit 2.0, with the 4141 variation as a backup.  The Czech project is over.

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To accomplish what I need to do with the Czechs, Slovakia or Hungary, I need a far more long-term position than I'm in or likely will be in.  I will put in for Turkey or Mexico if they open up since the short-term build-up is possible, but the other three countries need to wait until I can really settle in for a decade or so and truly build a side.

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43 minutes ago, alaouskie said:

The league history is very interesting. Bayern becoming a 2nd/3rd place team and Dortmund dominating  

Yep -- Bayern has been irrelevant for years, only now making a bit of a comeback.  Very interesting to see.

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9 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Yep -- Bayern has been irrelevant for years, only now making a bit of a comeback.  Very interesting to see.

Interesting to see im guessing Dembele Mor Etc stayed and made a super team

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Now we're talking - this sounds like a real challenge. Not that some of your achievements to date aren't absolutely spectacular, but this sounds like it might take more than a couple of years for once. 

Shame about the Czech job, somewhere Lukas Hrubes has gone into a half coma, whispering "I told you so, I told you so" over and over again... TZ10 odds on favorite to take the job?

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5 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

I've noticed that pretty much any league "fits my mood like a glove" for Håkan. Does he mean to say that every football league is a depressing hotpot of failure and broken dreams before he comes back into it?

Given that they're flirting with relegation halfway through the season, having been relegated twice in the past 5 seasons, I'd say that description fits Leverkusen “like a glove.”

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12 hours ago, alaouskie said:

Interesting to see im guessing Dembele Mor Etc stayed and made a super team

I'll try to remember to check later :thup:

7 hours ago, Akkarin said:

Now we're talking - this sounds like a real challenge. Not that some of your achievements to date aren't absolutely spectacular, but this sounds like it might take more than a couple of years for once. 

Shame about the Czech job, somewhere Lukas Hrubes has gone into a half coma, whispering "I told you so, I told you so" over and over again... TZ10 odds on favorite to take the job?

TZ10 has officially joined me at Leverkusen, actually. Screenshot has been taken, and will be posted later. I'd love to see him take up management. I just don't remember him being inclined to, offhand.

7 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

I've noticed that pretty much any league "fits my mood like a glove" for Håkan. Does he mean to say that every football league is a depressing hotpot of failure and broken dreams before he comes back into it?

Hahaha...I've used that phase before, I see... At Fiorentina, he was sleep-deprived, superstitious and a tad manic. Leeds, he was depressed as **** due to the change in scenery, and Apples.  Leverkusen has been a disaster for ages, but there is still an air of optimism and self-belief, demonstrated by the building of a massive 50K-seat stadium when you're relegation fodder.

So, it has shifted in tenor...even if I need a better/new phrase!

7 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Given that they're flirting with relegation halfway through the season, having been relegated twice in the past 5 seasons, I'd say that description fits Leverkusen “like a glove.”

That it does, but for the hint of optimism and self-belief. Hakan certainly has a...robust...opinion of himself. :lol:

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54 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Leverkusen has been a disaster for ages, but there is still an air of optimism and self-belief, demonstrated by the building of a massive 50K-seat stadium when you're relegation fodder.

Good chance Bayer are supplying them with some mood enhancement.

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4 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Following Telleus' appointment as manager of Bayer Leverkusen, some optimistic fans have started a petition to rename the club ‘Bayer NeverLosing'.

Nice. I'll be sure to have Ludwig plug that in press conferences.

3 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Good chance Bayer are supplying them with some mood enhancement.

Dude, keep that quiet. FFS.

2 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

Building a 50k stadium during a relegation battle may be a sign of optimism, but it's the kind of optimism that makes a death row inmate look forward to his hanging.

I dunno, the inmates I've been fortunate enough to exec-- Forget I said that. This conversation never happened.

:ackter:

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Huh? There was a conversation? I don't know what you're on about. :ackter:

Meanwhile at the AdoCorp headquarters...

[speaking forcefully, gesturing towards a graph on the wall] "... and this is why we cannot allow him to continue with this monkey business anymore. He will not stop here. He will never stop before he has achieved his goal. It is of upmost concern, no, of vital and unyielding importance to our goal that Håkan Telleus finally stops winning."

[light clapping, panning shot of tuxedo-wearing company executives]

"Thank you. Colleagues - comrades - the times are indeed dire. But AdoCorp, as you know, always has a plan." [chuckling from the audience]

"I shall now begin to outline our strategy. First, let us take note of our assets. You are, of course, well aware of our dear Czech friend--"

[The spokesperson trails off and looks down, pressing fingers against his left ear.]

"Yes. I see. Mhm-hmm."

[The spokesperson lets his hand fall to the side, his eyes glazing over for a moment. Then he releases a long sigh.]

"Colleagues. Comrades." [a pause. The audience seems restless. The spokesperson looks at his feet, collecting himself before trying again.]

"Colleagues. Comrades. The worst has happened. This eldritch menace - " [the spokesperson's face contorts twists into an evil scowl as he tries to say the name] " - this arcane, all-consuming demon, H-H-H... Håkan Telleus... has taken up another managerial contract." [Murmuring from the audience.]

"He has returned to Germany. The club's name is Leverkusen. Their fortunes, though less than pleasing in recent years, will surely - irresistibly - start rising again." [More murmuring. The spokesperson waits for the audience to settle down.]

"But please do, if you will, remind yourselves of what I said previous to this unfortunate development." [He pauses to let his words sink in. One can hear a few sinister chuckles resonate in the conference room.]

[everyone together in a quiet, but ominous, voice] "AdoCorp always has a plan."

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That would be a most apt way of thinking about AdoCorp's conference meetings :lol:

Of course, usually there's far more back-patting, monologuing and overall sinister planning going on.

Edited by Adonalsium
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5 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

I am slowly realising. :lol: Not that that is necessarily a bad thing!

giphy.gif

Definitely the tenor of the thread, at times. Just wait until Ronaldo's reality show resurfaces, or we revisit Gato Con Guantes, Juan Mata's upscale men's salon in Manchester. 

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2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

giphy.gif

Definitely the tenor of the thread, at times. Just wait until Ronaldo's reality show resurfaces, or we revisit Gato Con Guantes, Juan Mata's upscale men's salon in Manchester. 

I can hardly wait! I've considered reading through all 43 pages more than once, but then I found out, that there were more backstory than just this thread. Then I gave up. 

 

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TZ10's official signing:

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The goal for this evening is to set up my training regime for Grapefruit 2.0, finish identifying my 1st and 2nd XI...and then hit continue to get to some matches.

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35 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Some say that Hakan has a God complex, but this is just taking the ****.

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He's actually my new physio...which amuses me.

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I remember playing championship manager 2001/2002 as a little kid, and they had the option of sending an injury prone player to a "faith healer" to help cure the problem. Ah, good times.

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13 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

 

I remember playing championship manager 2001/2002 as a little kid, and they had the option of sending an injury prone player to a "faith healer" to help cure the problem. Ah, good times.

Nice!  I don't remember that at all, even having played an obscene number of hours on that game... :lol:

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1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Nice!  I don't remember that at all, even having played an obscene number of hours on that game... :lol:

I was managing Chelsea and  think it was a player called Stanic.

i googled "championship manager faith healing", and some people seem to have experienced it, others are mystified. I think it's like "No shave November" feature on FM 2015, some people get it, others never encounter it.

 

On further research, Glenn Hoddle seemed to use that tactic with the England national team ,I guess that's where the game got the idea from.

Edited by kidthekid
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