ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Ehhh... cool. Whatever you say, I'm sorry. You're the man. The dude in the chair. West Ham United / Scotland 2051 Champions League Final, Amsterdam ArenA Here we are. Less than 6 months after taking the position at West Ham. It feels like an eternity. We're favored tonight, as well we should be. If we play our game, we'll triumph. That much is clear. Fenerbahce typically play a narrow 41212, which we haven't seen very often. Staying narrow in the attack will favor us, but we'd be foolish to discount the Turks. They've eliminated Tottenham, Saint-Etienne and Leeds in the knockout rounds, so won't be intimidated in the slightest. Let's do this, lads. I'd rather not get back on that flight to Heathrow... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 An early corner to West Ham...Nurudeen floats it to the back post...Edgar rises....and loops a header across to Berney who stands unmarked at the back post, and buries it from 2 yards out! The keeper was stranded! 1-0 to West Ham before anyone has broken a sweat!!! I've barely sat meself down! A dream start for Telleus' men!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 In the 12th minute, a Fenerbahce shot from a tight angle hits the post and we clear, with Femia looking to break on the counter...he finds Calija who gathers and turns in one motion, looking to set Nurudeen free...he's got a step on the Turkish back line... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 HE'S CLEAR ON GOAL!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 BUT SPUNKS IT WIDE!!! WHAT A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MISS!!! IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE!!! EVEN PHIL COULD HAVE HIT THAT ONE ON THE TARGET! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 30 minutes in, the match has gone quiet. Both sides playing an even-tempered game, neither wanting to make a mistake. This is that point in time when a few well-executed stepovers could break the game wide open, eh, Jamie? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 34th minute... Calija knocks the ball wide to Spada who takes a touch...look at that Fenerbahce back line! They're all out of sorts! Can Spada punish them?!!? NO! He foolishly dribbles inside and drops the ball to Matheus, who plays the ball into Torres' feet...he touches to Calija who has Nurudeen breaking through the channel... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 NURUDEEN OPENS HIS BODY UP AND ... OOOHHHAAHSHHWHHAHHJJKKAFHHHHHHHHHHEEEEADSFAKJJJHHHH!!!! EBENEZER FIRES A ROCKET INTO THE TOP CORNER! 2-NIL TO TELLEUS' MEN!!! THIS IS ALL GOING TO PLAN FOR HAKAN!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 (edited) BUT FENERBAHCE HAVE PULLED ONE BACK!!! STUNNING THE CROWD IN AMSTERDAM!!! IT'S A CARBON COPY OF WEST HAM'S OPENER! TELLEUS IS FURIOUS ON THE SIDELINE, CALLING FOR FOCUS FROM HIS ELEVEN! LOCK THE BABY IN THE BARN, PAPA NEVILLE! WE'VE GOT A MATCH HERE!!! Edited May 23, 2017 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Halftime. All to play for. This is anyone's match. I tweak things -- less focus on possession, more direct, less aggression from my fullbacks. 45 minutes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keano16 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 3 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Brendan Rodgers hasn't aged well, has he. But his teeth have remained perfectly white. 3 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Paolo Postorino's Tottenham currently sit 2nd in the Premier League, mind you. Please tell me they haven't won the title yet. And looks like I'm just in time for the second half! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 60 minutes gone. West Ham in control. Berney surveying the field...he finds Nurudeen with an ambitious long ball...who takes a touch and finds Fermia...the wily Argentinian having found a pocket of space....he plays a square ball to Torres, who has Grandi overlapping and a host of West Ham midfielders crashing into the box... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 2 minutes ago, Keano16 said: But his teeth have remained perfectly white. Please tell me they haven't won the title yet. And looks like I'm just in time for the second half! You know, folks...it's just like the Gaffer used to say. It's Tottenham, lads. They haven't won a title in nearly 100 years. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 ...Where was I...oh, yes, Torres finds Grandi, who takes a touch and drives a low cross into the box... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 PIRES SOMEHOW RECOVERS AND TACKLES CALIJA, AS A HOST OF PLAYERS COLLIDE IN THE BOX...BUT THE DANGER IS NOT PAST AS THE BALL PINGS BACK TO GRANDI...HE STRIKES IT FIRST TIME... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 THAT'S THREE!!! GIOVANNI GRANDI WITH A CAPTAIN'S GOAL FOR WEST HAM!!! GAME ON!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Spada throws in long to Calija, who lay it into the path of an onrushing Nurudeen...HE MAY TRY TO BURY THIS ONE HIMSELF...NO! He wisely pulls it back for Torres...who has options...he sprays it wide to the captain, Grandi...you know, Jamie, I used to be captain at Manchester United?! True story, there was this time in Rome... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 FINE. No, no. I said, fine. I'll get back to the...oh, my...Grandi centers it... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Ebenezer volleys it first time with his left peg...the one usually reserved for standing...WHAT A SAVE!!! That would have been the match! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wynter Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 #FreeusfromWestHam #GrapefruitLifeForTelleus Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Fenerbachce clear, but not far enough...Yamauchi finds Nurudeen...YES!!!!!!! 4-1!!!! THIS TIME HE MAKES NO MISTAKE!!! TWO GOALS IN 4 MINUTES FOR WEST HAM!!! SURELY, THAT IS THE MATCH!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 HOLD ON!!! TELL MOSE TO STOP COUNTING THOSE CHICKENS, DWIGHT!!! THIS GAME HAS YET TO HATCH!!! FENERBAHCE AGAIN WITH A CRITICAL GOAL, JUST WHEN THEY'RE IN DANGER OF BEING OVERRUN!!! QUICK PASSING, POSSESION AND MOVEMENT FIND EMRULLAH TAS ALONE AND HE BURIES IT!!! 4-2!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Telleus shouting instructions from the touchline, adjusting his side's shape. There's more than enough time left for the Turks to get back into this one! 20 minutes to play...Telleus has yet to send on any substitutes...you know who he needs, Fellaini. That kid's chest can take down anything. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 10 minutes...Telleus now making his changes...Helsen to provide speed on the counter, Goni to provide fresh legs in midfield...no sign of Marouane...shut it, Jamie, I'm making a point here, you scouse ****. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Evening folks...Jamie here...Gary has been...err...he's taking a nap. Yeah, that's it. Sorry for the interruption. I'll continue on from here. 84th minute...West Ham in complete control, looking to build from the back. The ball is spread wide to Grandi, who looks for Nurudeen...who turns inside and finds Calija onside...as the defense collapses upon him, he plays a ball through to the onrushing Helsen... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 HE'S ALL ALONE...SURELY...THIS DOES NOT SLIP!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 YES!!! THAT'S 5!!! 5-2 WITH MERE MINUTES TO PLAY!!! SURELY TELLEUS' MEN ARE CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 IT'S ALL OVER!!! WEST HAM ARE CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE!!! WHAT A MATCH!!! I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT IF I DIDN'T SEE IT MYSELF!!! PASS THE SYZURRP, GARY!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheriff7 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 How many CL you have?? :-P Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978! West Ham United / Scotland 2050/51 Season Review London can kiss my ***. It was entirely the wrong place to be, for multiple reasons. In the end, it was rather ****ing spectacular, though. I need something fresh. A different sort of challenge. Scotland is there still, and I'm off to Hampden this evening to finalize preparations for our qualifying matches against Montenegro...home and then away. Once that's done...Emma and I have planned to talk. Where things go from there, who knows. Regardless of where I end up, I'm going to ask Apples and Emma if I can bring the twins with me...at 15, it's time they had a proper footballing education, isn't it? Goals for 2051/52: Not leap at the first job that becomes available. Hakan needs a serious change of pace. Whether I continue with the Scotland project is completely up in the air right now. Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers Premier League Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures|FA Cup Fixtures Champions League Review This is thoroughly documented above. Nevertheless, quite the year. I just keep on saying it, but it will happen -- Rennes and Leipzig are bound to become eligible. I'm 110% thrilled with Fenerbahce becoming an option. Literally could not be happier. Challenge Overview Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keano16 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Tottenham - Still bottling titles 40 years on! At least the final had some goals for you as the ending of the much desired Hammers stint. Ah Carra and Neville, I don't think that commentary box was big enough though... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 28 minutes ago, Rikulec said: Thanks, man -- walked into a side that was ready to make a run! 18 minutes ago, Sheriff7 said: How many CL you have?? :-P Heh...9 in a 33-year period: Malmo, Fiorentina, Gladbach, Leeds, Saint-Etienne, Stade de Reims, Frankfurt, Club Brugge, West Ham. It's a bonkers career. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Just now, Keano16 said: Tottenham - Still bottling titles 40 years on! At least the final had some goals for you as the ending of the much desired Hammers stint. Ah Carra and Neville, I don't think that commentary box was big enough though... Senile GNev has been in my head for some of the commentary, he just had to be more directly there tonight! Tremendous final. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keano16 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 1 minute ago, ManUtd1 said: Senile GNev has been in my head for some of the commentary, he just had to be more directly there tonight! Tremendous final. I can imagine the Neville Moan coming out after that 5th goal went in. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 2 minutes ago, Keano16 said: I can imagine the Neville Moan coming out after that 5th goal went in. It got a little awkward in the booth, but then Jamie just had more ice cream... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978! Scotland June 2051 Mini-Update A big win at Hampden, followed by a dire display of finishing in Podgorica. The only good news is that I'm off to Provence, to meet up with Emma. The bitter taste of my side's incompetence will surely pass. Our next match is away to Switzerland, who've been busy with the Nations League semis. If we can win that match, we'll have the upper hand. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) Interpol File No. 9538S-BS; Wiretap on line 094-127-723 June 27, 2051; 1:12 AM ---RUSH TRANSCRIPT--- LUDWIG HAMMAR: Go for Ludwig. HAKAN TELLEUS: Hey man, it's Hakan. LUDWIG HAMMAR: Hey, man. What's up? I thought you were off to Provence, to relax and get away for a bit? HAKAN TELLEUS: Well...something's come up. LUDWIG HAMMAR: What do you mean? Is everyone ok? HAKAN TELLEUS: What? Oh, yeah. Everything's fine, man. But a job opportunity may have come up. LUDWIG HAMMAR: Nice! Feels like we just left Montenegro, but I'm ready to roll. Is it Greece? Serbia? No...did someone poach what's-his-name from the Turks?! HAKAN TELLEUS: No, no. It isn't any of those. LUDWIG HAMMAR: But...when we talked about the next step, we agreed. We said -- HAKAN TELLEUS: I know, man. LUDWIG HAMMAR: This isn't...what...come on, man. Who is it? HAKAN TELLEUS: Monaco. LUDWIG HAMMAR: Monaco?! Isn't that the exact opposite of what we discussed?! I mean -- HAKAN TELLEUS: It's a good opportunity, man, to push the Scotland project forward. We couldn't do that at -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: We TALKED about this, Hakan! HAKAN TELLEUS: I know, but -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: No. There something you're not telling me, brother. What the Hell?! That idiot...what happened to him? HAKAN TELLEUS: He took the Reims job, man. I didn't see this coming. It just happened. We'd be in the Champions -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: Hold on. Just hold on. Big jobs open all the time, man. We said it was going to be different. Level with me. What changed? HAKAN TELLEUS: Nothing man, that's ridiculous. LUDWIG HAMMAR: Don't you do that. Don't you dare. What aren't you telling me? Oh...come on, it can't be...you've been pining away for this mystery woman for months. What'd she say? What's her name? HAKAN TELLEUS: No, no...that's not -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: That is it. That's exactly it. There can't be anything else that's changed in the last two weeks. Come on. HAKAN TELLEUS: It...it...isn't that simple man. This would be a good move for us -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: You aren't going to tell me, are you? HAKAN TELLEUS: No, that's -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: You aren't going to tell me. HAKAN TELLEUS: It's...complicated. LUDWIG HAMMAR: More complicated than the week in Adelaide with those Australian triplets? HAKAN TELLEUS: Well, no, but -- LUDWIG HAMMAR: Because that came off without a hitch, brother. HAKAN TELLEUS: I know, but that's not...it's...different this time. [Long pause.] LUDWIG HAMMAR: So, Monaco, then? HAKAN TELLEUS: I don't know. Will you just think about it? LUDWIG HAMMAR: For ****'s sake. I'll give it some thought. Just...make sure this is what you want, before we go down this road, yeah? HAKAN TELLEUS: Absolutely. Thanks, brother. LUDWIG HAMMAR: **** off, you indecisive, brilliant ****. HAKAN TELLEUS: Right back at you, man. Edited May 24, 2017 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bedese Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Just caught up with everything I've missed, and of course you've added another CL title since I've been reading This is superb. Still absolutely f***ing mental, but superb. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 Just now, Jupjamie said: Just caught up with everything I've missed, and of course you've added another CL title since I've been reading This is superb. Still absolutely f***ing mental, but superb. Hahaha thanks, man. The mayhem in my head keeps it fun for me, it's something different than just playing the matches Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe. Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 6 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: 'Telleus, who has worked in multiple continents...' eh?! Good work with West Ham, what a relief too! and Fenerbache is a great team to make eligible, particularly as the name Hakan has a Turkish ring to it.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjaferrie Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Haha, I finally have time to catch up on this and you're managing Scotland - what a welcome back! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 7 hours ago, Joe. said: 'Telleus, who has worked in multiple continents...' eh?! Good work with West Ham, what a relief too! and Fenerbache is a great team to make eligible, particularly as the name Hakan has a Turkish ring to it.. Thanks, man! Very much a relief. I figure that has to be a reference to the World Cups in Argentina (with Mexico) and South Africa (Greece). Otherwise, it makes no sense at all... European clubs plus Mexico doesn't equal multiple... 1 hour ago, mjaferrie said: Haha, I finally have time to catch up on this and you're managing Scotland - what a welcome back! Hey, welcome back! There was even a Finnish folk music reference in there The biggest appeal to Monaco is the ability to continue with Scotland. Gong to Greece or Serbia wouldn't really work, in terms of hoarding/developing Scottish youth. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjaferrie Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said: Hey, welcome back! There was even a Finnish folk music reference in there Hahaha! It'll take me a while to catch up, last time I checked in you were in Germany or Belgium... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 24, 2017 Author Share Posted May 24, 2017 1 hour ago, mjaferrie said: Hahaha! It'll take me a while to catch up, last time I checked in you were in Germany or Belgium... Contextually, I'm pretty sure the reference was in the summer of 2050... Again, welcome back! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 Somehow, word is getting out...truth be told, I haven't even interviewed yet. Monaco is a great opportunity, even if it isn't what I've been thinking...proximity to the chateau in Provence...proximity to...her... From a footballing perspective, we'd make the Principality the 2nd home of the Scottish national side. Hard to argue with that. Perhaps if you're a Monaco supporter... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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