ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today. Valencia CF / Côte d'Ivoire May 2067 Mini-Update Let's not kid ourselves. We were comprehensively outplayed in Germany. The 2-nil scoreline flattered us. Our gameplan had been to defend in PM Foquiado, and try to hit them on the counter. We couldn't get off the ground. Leaving it all to do back at the Nuevo Mestalla. We will have to be more aggressive, and set out in our normal PM Cafetero Aguardiente. The first goal would be critical. And, like that, the comeback is on. Serna finds Galindo in the 6th minute. He buries it, for his 33rd on the year. Momentum is ours. The crowd can taste it. The next goal will split the tie wide open. It's one-way traffic. All Valencia. A deflection in the 22nd...and the ball slowly rebounds off the post into the German keeper's hands! So close! Moments later, Serna splits the defense to find Galindo with a window of space. 2-nil on the night. Level on aggregate. All to play for. The Germans are stunned. We continue to press for the advantage, not taking our foot off the gas having fought our way back into the tie. We force a turnover in the 25th...this time, Galindo splits the defense to find Soler streaking. 3-0 on the night. We're rampant. 3 minutes of sheer brilliance. The Germans press forward, and we nearly catch them on the counter in the 28th minute, their keeper denying Soler. End-to-end. The Germans have found their sea legs. Yet, they fail to clear a corner shortly before half, and Galindo once again turns provider, finding Serna this time. The favor repaid, and we're up 4-2 on aggregate. Disaster for Ze Germans. Delirious joy for the Spanish support. Now...now they will have to push forward. We can kill the tie with a 5th...or they can open it right back up with an away goal. Focus, lads. Leipzig come out in an aggressive 3-4-3. We switch to Foquiado. Disaster. A cutback from Buckle finds Wolfram open on the far post in the 47th. 4-3 on aggregate. We're in danger of losing our composure. Serna blows a gilt-edged chance to respond in the 49th...clear on goal, denied by Leipzig's Ukrainian keeper, who again stands tall to deny Donald in the 51st...before denying Galindo in the 58th. Will we regret these spurned chances?! The German side, so close to the final on so many occasions...is what seemed to be a sure-thing only a few short hours ago slipping through their grasp?! From nowhere, a long-range Thiago Augusto blast rattles our crossbar in the 62nd minute. It's only their 3rd shot of the night, but it so nearly put them into the driver's seat. 72nd minute...as our substitutes make ready to enter the fray...Galindo feeds Serna, who's denied once again by the brave Ukrainian keeper...only for the ball to bobble loose to Soler, facing an empty net. He buries it!!! 5-3 on aggregate!!! Less than 20 minutes to play, I shore up our tiring backline and central midfield, and introduce Kouakou to give us an attacking threat. Leipzig throw bodies forward, to no avail. On the night, we redeemed ourselves and earned a spot in the final. 5-3 on aggregate. Immense. Clinical. We will face Anderlecht at the Camp Nou, as they defeated Gustav's Lyon 3-0 on aggregate. Let the Twitter wars between Stroud and Bozidar commence. Domestically, we're three points clear after Sociedad blinked. We will finish the La Liga campaign against Levante at the Nuevo Mestalla, but only after the Copa del Rey final against Espanyol, also at the Camp Nou. Anyone who mentions the word "treble" will be fined a month's wages. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
oriole01 Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Magnificent result in Spain! Two straight CL finals at different clubs is quite the achievement, but you were fortunate to get a quality squad like this one from the get-go. Can't wait for the final against the Kiwi Farmers! Shame about Lyon, it would have been a cool storyline if they became eligible, sacked Gustav, hired Gunnar and won the CL with him. The ultimate humiliation. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 5 minutes ago, oriole01 said: Magnificent result in Spain! Two straight CL finals at different clubs is quite the achievement, but you were fortunate to get a quality squad like this one from the get-go. Can't wait for the final against the Kiwi Farmers! Shame about Lyon, it would have been a cool storyline if they became eligible, sacked Gustav, hired Gunnar and won the CL with him. The ultimate humiliation. Thanks, man! The quality at Valencia was the deciding factor, no doubt. I've simply added a bit of Ivorian depth to a very strong side. The final 3 matches of the season will come tomorrow night. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 How do you do these things. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjaferrie Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Jesus Christ. You've only been back 5 minutes! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 8 hours ago, kidthekid said: How do you do these things. Best not to forget that I walked into a side that was atop La Liga, and a regular participant in the CL Group Stage. 5 hours ago, mjaferrie said: Jesus Christ. You've only been back 5 minutes! Holiday here in the States yesterday But I'm back in the office today... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Champions League Final, June 2067 Camp Nou Just a short trip up the coast, lads. Into the den of ****alona. Potentially the ultimate capstone to an incredible year. We'll start in PM Foquiado, to counter their pace and wide threats. The gameplan being to keep things tight at the back, and hit them on the break. Gary seems slightly agitated this evening, having consumed several litres of sizzurp before going on the air. He keeps cackling wildly, while occasionally slapping Jamie on the back of the neck, claiming to be killing “gigantic, invisible ****ing spiders...saved your life, I did, mate. You're welcome." Gary's aggro notwithstanding, it is a festive evening here in Barcelona. Even Partizan's Capuchin monkey is in attendance, cavorting with the shirtless Valencia support, a Shriners’ cap perched rakishly on his head and a clove cigarette dangling from his mouth, screaming abuse at the Anderlecht players. As the match winds towards kickoff, the Valencia support kick off a hearty, 20-minute version of the chart-topping single “Taste the Bean Calypso,” by Serbian neo-death metal band, Grapefruit Chained Wolf (feat. Mumbu and The Dikgang). GCW's debut album, "Inverted šljivovica, Da!"is rumored to drop next month. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Anderlecht controlling the early stages of the match, but unable to do anything meaningful with all of that possession. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Until Jindracek, Anderlecht’s world-class left winger, drifts inside and fires a blast that strikes Obradovic and spins into the net, past the helpless Romo. First blood to the Belgians. Marked as an own goal, which is harsh in the extreme. And, yes, Gary. I did notice that your…err…beverage…and Anderlecht’s kit are the same color. That’s rather perceptive of you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Serna fails to convert a gilt-edged chance in the 27th minute…our first real look at goal. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Moments later, Anderlecht hit their 2nd, off a free kick from a dangerous position. No keeper would have touched it. Valencia with it all to do. A brutal turnabout. Undaunted, the Los Che supporters have, if anything, become even louder. We switch from Foquiado to PM Cafetero Aguardiente, as we cannot sit back any longer, aiming to hit the Belgians on the counter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Halftime, and we’re facing a tough road. Even Bozidar's monkey looks depressed. But score, and we’re right back in this match. Given up a goal, and it could be all over. Much to the amusement of the broadcast crew, in the midst of a rambling discourse on the benefits of a 4-4-2 (which neither side is playing), the monkey is spotted stealing Gary’s bottle of sunscreen, in which Gary's sizzurp had been hidden. Mayhem will undoubtedly ensue when Gary finds it missing. An hour gone, now, and we’ve yet to gain a foothold. Kouakou is coming on for the tiring Galindo. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Back and forth…neither side creating any chances…until Joao Marcos forces a turnover on the left, playing Soler, who spots Serna breaking into space behind the Belgian lines…but he fires wide. Our best chance of the 2nd half, and the execution is poor. We've only had a few looks at goal, but need to convert one before it's too late. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 20 minutes to play. Leysen on for Zungu…followed by Navarro, replacing Serna. As we break in the 75th, Kayanto brings Soler down hard…he’s already on a yellow…is it?! YES IT IS!!! ANDERLECHT REDUCED TO 10 MEN! VALENCIA HAVE 15 MINUTES, TO CAPITALIZE!!! CAN THEY SCORE?!? THE ENSUING FREE KICK FROM NAVARRO NEARLY SNEAKS IN AT THE NEAR POST!!! SO CLOSE!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Time to dig deep, lads... We press forward relentlessly…but are unable to find a way through. In the 86th, Anderlecht are reduced to 9 men after Jashanica is forced to withdraw injured. Surely, now we'll find a way through... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 But nothing can come of it, as the Belgian defense form an impenetrable purple wall…a valiant, desperate defense that will not be breached, even with 2 of their remaining 9 players visibly in pain. Valencia’s run ends tonight. Anderlecht, champions of Europe once again. Frustrating, to say the least. But it’s hard to argue with the scoreline given the way the match played out. I'm also very pleased to be able to continue in Valencia, as I wasn't ready to move on so quickly. A season review will follow later tonight. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoxToBox Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Damn shame, but if you're happy enough to remain in Spain, I guess it's a silver lining. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said: Damn shame, but if you're happy enough to remain in Spain, I guess it's a silver lining. Definitely looking for a silver lining. I'm frustrated, but we didn't take care of business on the night so I can't really complain. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Didn't see that coming. Have you lost a CL final at all since Fiorentina? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Just now, Rikulec said: Didn't see that coming. Have you lost a CL final at all since Fiorentina? I just checked that exact stat. It is, in fact, the first final I've lost since 2026/27. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wynter Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Even his father tasted bitter disappointment Hopefully Gunnar doesn't experience the Fiorentina Fever, but a little more insanity is always welcome Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) This is rare. A loss in the final. What is this, Fiorentina? Edit: I see that two people have already mentioned it. Oh well Edited September 5, 2017 by kidthekid Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 The world breaks everyone ... those that will not break it kills. Valencia CF / Côte d'Ivoire 2066/67 Season Review The long and short of it? We were outplayed. Over 90 minutes, Anderlecht were the better side. Not that I'll ever admit that in public. And I'll work tirelessly to ensure that the next time we face that snide Kiwi ****, we avenge that night at the Camp Nou. As I assess the year and squad, there aren't many holes. Against my instincts, I renewed the contracts of several senior players, including Donald, Soler and Serna. Expensive? Yes. But they're indispensible members of the side. I've also decided that 2 1st XI players need to be replaced -- Joao Marcos and Zungu. They'll be replaced by two Greek imports. The brilliantly-named Dionysis Ropas, who arrived from Olympiacos, will replace Zungu in the immediate future. He's in the "central winger" mold, and will battle with Jon Calvo for playing time. Dionysis' compatriot, Theofilos Kabantais, will initially serve as Marcos' understudy and play with the 2nd XI, as N'Guessan-Bakari going out on loan. Beyond that...it's hard to improve upon this side without spending more than I'm willing to drop. We're ready to challenge for the La Liga and Champions League titles. If it ain't broke, don't "fix" it. Goals for 2067/68: Defend our La Liga title. Win the Champions League. Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers La Liga Fixtures 1|La Liga Fixtures 2|Champions League Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures|Copa del Rey Fixtures Champions League Review This is rather thoroughly documented above. However, I'd be remiss if I didn't note that, once again, Leipzig fell late in the knockout rounds. A truly astonishing run of bad luck for them. Of course, the Telleus family reunion didn't happen in the final, but perhaps next year we'll be more lucky... Challenge Overview Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 19 minutes ago, wynter said: Even his father tasted bitter disappointment Hopefully Gunnar doesn't experience the Fiorentina Fever, but a little more insanity is always welcome 18 minutes ago, kidthekid said: This is rare. A loss in the final. What is this, Fiorentina? The Fiorentina Curse...?!? I CAN'T HEEAAARRR YOU!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Anderlecht's manager just left for Chelsea...and I noticed something odd. They play at Stroud Park. Yes. @AnderlechtKiwiFarmer built himself a massive, ****-off stadium, and named it after himself. This is so brilliantly mental, I wish I'd thought of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoxToBox Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 EDIT: The Stroud-Dome, two teams enter, one team leave! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 That sounds like something UrCristiano would do, if he ever owned a football team. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoxToBox Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Just now, kidthekid said: That sounds like something UrCristiano would do, if he ever owned a football team. Zlatan wanted them to name the Friends Arena after him, didn't eve feel the need to own a club. He owned Sweden. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 (edited) 49 minutes ago, BoxToBox said: EDIT: The Stroud-Dome, two teams enter, one team leave! 42 minutes ago, kidthekid said: That sounds like something UrCristiano would do, if he ever owned a football team. 41 minutes ago, BoxToBox said: Zlatan wanted them to name the Friends Arena after him, didn't eve feel the need to own a club. He owned Sweden. #StroudDome #MarkStroudBeyondThunderdome Brilliant! In other news... Edited September 6, 2017 by ManUtd1 I can't spell Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Anderlecht's manager just left for Chelsea... ...and West Ham's manager left for Anderlecht. This genuinely makes my head hurt. Somehow, Chelsea > Anderlecht > West Ham, even though West Ham is easily the top side in Europe, and Chelsea have been struggling for years... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andychar Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Finally caught up. Glad I haven't missed anything. Only 2 Champions League Finals 1 won and 1 lost. A Copa America win as well as a World Cup win. Oh and an ACON win. Nothing big. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
yugo23 Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 Is there a screen showing RB Leipzig history in European competitions? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, andychar said: Finally caught up. Glad I haven't missed anything. Only 2 Champions League Finals 1 won and 1 lost. A Copa America win as well as a World Cup win. Oh and an ACON win. Nothing big. Always good to have you around, man! 2 hours ago, yugo23 said: Is there a screen showing RB Leipzig history in European competitions? Of course! Here is their overall club competition history, their CL history and EL history: By my count, they've lost in the CL semifinals 6 times: 2046/47, 2048/49, 2050/51, 2054/55, 2065/66 and 2066/67. They've also lost at the semifinal stage of the EL 5 times (in addition to their 1 title and 2 runners' up medals). Between all of that, and their 18 top-3 finishes in the Bundesliga, I'm very surprised they haven't snuck into a CL final once. Edited September 6, 2017 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 15 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: ...and West Ham's manager left for Anderlecht. This genuinely makes my head hurt. Somehow, Chelsea > Anderlecht > West Ham, even though West Ham is easily the top side in Europe, and Chelsea have been struggling for years... €€€ 18 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Anderlecht's manager just left for Chelsea...and I noticed something odd. They play at Stroud Park. Yes. @AnderlechtKiwiFarmer built himself a massive, ****-off stadium, and named it after himself. This is so brilliantly mental, I wish I'd thought of it. It's so brilliantly arrogant. I should hate @AnderlechtKiwiFarmer for this but if anything, I'm impressed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 That story with Stroud is brilliant, you couldn't make it up. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 6 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: It's so brilliantly arrogant. I should hate @AnderlechtKiwiFarmer for this but if anything, I'm impressed. He's been a pantomime villain from day one, but this is pretty great. 4 hours ago, Rikulec said: That story with Stroud is brilliant, you couldn't make it up. Like I said, I wish I'd thought of it! Absolutely priceless. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 We're preparing to board the first of several flights, taking us from Valencia to Gaborone for the first leg of our loser-out World Cup qualifying tie with Botswana. The Ivorian lads are here with me, along with some staff that are pulling double-duty. Should be a straightforward trip, as we're strongly favored to annihilate the Zebras. Lots of general horseplay, and a good spirit among the lads. The only exception being Ernesto, our recently-hired phsyio, who is a bit distraught...this being his first trip to Africa. He's also just-married, with a strikingly-beautiful, young wife he's leaving behind. Honestly, she's stunning. The lads joke with Ernesto, much to his great discomfort, that they can't understand what she sees in him. Ana Sofia is there to give Ernesto a hug and kiss, with well-wishes for the road. It's refreshing to see such strong love and affection. No, not between Ernesto and Ana Sofia. From Božidar. He can't take his eyes off of Ana Sofia. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 You have to be a bit of a liar to tell a story the right way. Valencia CF / Côte d'Ivoire November 2067 Mini-Update As expected, Botswana presented little challenge. The Ivorians have been on a a roll all summer and fall and it continues, even if our finishing was dire in the 1st leg. We've drawn a tricky group for the 3rd round of World Cup qualifying, but one we should take. We'll be landing in Valencia soon enough. Back to the La Liga and Champions League schedule. We sit atop the table in both, but not without challenges ahead. After the season we had last year, we're marked. We need to step up the intensity, and start burying a few of our competitors. Given how quickly time is flying by, the knockout rounds will be starting any day now. Ernesto looks pleased to have survived his first trip abroad, and anxious to get back to his lovely wife. Hard to blame him. But, I'm quite certain that upon landing at the private airstrip that I saw Ana Sofia getting out of Božidar's bright orange, stretch Land Rover, and glancing back in his direction as she walked to meet the plane. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Fifty Shades BoziDarker. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 55 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: Fifty Shades BoziDarker. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 (For those that think I might have completely lost my mind...this is a reference to the D.E.N.N.I.S. system from IASIP.) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Insanity has just become even more insane. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 21 minutes ago, Rikulec said: Insanity has just become even more insane. Which makes perfect sense, given that we're playing strikerless on overload/very fluid. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoxToBox Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 That's what I was gonna say.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 8 minutes ago, BoxToBox said: That's what I was gonna say.... Life imitates art! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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