[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe

[Keano16]

Well, that was interesting......I feel a documentary coming about Messi's secret love for peanut butter. 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Sorry Not Sorry...You Done Been Played!  

Rush Transcript; Season 17, Episode 34.

FADE IN

Feeder's "Feeling A Moment" plays over a video montage -- Cristiano Ronaldo scoring for Manchester United, Real Madrid and Portugal, his trademark celebratory jump/spin/flex, sliding on his knees across the turf at the Bernabeu, gesticulating wildly on the sidelines at the Euro 2016 Final.  Frolicking with an endless parade of supermodels.  Tender moments with his son.  Smiling, laughing and clowning about with his mates, as the ravages of time begin to catch up.  Less hair, more body oil.  

Clips from past episodes now play as the chorus kicks in -- the time when Cristiano replaced Joe Hart's hair gel with ketchup, the time when he filled Pepe's Ferrari with custard...or, the classic episode where they slipped Mario Balotelli acid and sent him to a Furry convention on behalf of PETA.

The images and music fade, with the cameras now focusing on a familiar face emerging from behind a curtain in a television studio.  The camera pans across the audience, standing to applaud, whoop and cheer with reckless abandon as Cristiano smiles, waves and shakes hands with those lucky enough to be in the front row.  Cristiano's son emerges from behind the curtain, but all attention is focused on his famous father.  Cristiano Jr. joins in the raucous applause for his father.

CRISTIANO: Hello, hello, hello!  Thank you and good evening!  Welcome to another episode of Sorry Not Sorry...

CROWD (shouting in unison at the top of their lungs): YOU DONE BEEN PLAYED! 

CRISTIANO: Yes, yes, yes!  This is my show, yeah?  Where we do the most outrageous, craziest pranks you've ever seen!  The only show on TV where you'd ever see John Terry openly advertising himself as a rent boy , offering to "service" Millwall fans outside of the Den, yeah?  You don't see that on Sky!!!  Well, maybe on the pay-per-view, yeah?

Cristiano winks knowingly.  The crowd claps and cheers, desperate to hear what hilarity Cristiano has in store for them tonight.  

CRISTIANO (gesturing for quiet):  Tonight, tonight...we have a special show.  Years in the making, yes?  Years!  Ok, ok...who's the greatest footballer in history?!

CROWD (shouting in unison): CRISTIANO!  RONALDO!  CRISTIANO! RONALDO!

CRISTIANO (smiling and noddinb emphatically):  Hahahahaha, yes!!!  The best ever!  But, now hold on...

The crowd starts to whistle and stamp their feet.

CRISTIANO (wagging his finger, with a twinkle in his eye): No, no.  Hold on.  There some who would say that another can lay claim to that particular crown...

The crowd continues to whistle and stamp their feet enthusiastically.

CRISTIANO JUNIOR: I think...I think what my dad is trying to say, is that some people aren't very smart, you know? They're poor little brains just cannot handle the sight of His glorious, oiled abs.

The crowd begins to shout agreement.

CRISTIANO (gesturing to his abdomen): What?  You want to see my abs?  To see them dance?!

The house band begins to play a soothing samba rhythm, as Cristiano gyrates on stage.  As scantily-clad woman approaches with a bottle of olive oil, Cristiano tears off his designer-black button-down shirt.  The woman begins to apply apply copious amounts of oil to Cristiano's torso, which puddles at their feet.  They begin to dance seductively.  The crowd is screaming with glee.  Men and women alike are swooning.  

CRISTIANO (cackling, as more models appear on stage to dance): Well, then!  Enjoy tonight's episode, with a good friend and old rival of mine...and get ready to not be the sorry, yeah!?!

The music continues as Cristiano dances with the models, to the delight of the crowd.  Cristiano Junior joins in.  More items of clothing are removed.  The camera fades to black.

The camera fades back in, with a long shot of a beautiful, gated Catalan villa.  The samba rhythm fades, replaced by a classical guitar playing The Girl From Ipanema.  The leaves of the trees flutter in the morning breeze, as various camera shots set the stage.  Birds chirp.

Cristiano's voice explains.

CRISTIANO (voice-over): For years, my greatest rival on the pitch was none other than Leonardo Messi.  Or, as I liked to call him, that little sack of ****.  Hahahahaha.  

Highlights from Messi's career play as Cristiano continues.

CRISTIANO (voice-over, slightly angry): The media often considered Messi to be the greatest, even when even the most stupidest peasant could see my brilliance outshining him at every turn.  Some say that revenge is a dish best served cold.  I say that's how you serve gazpacho.  For revenge, you need something...sweeter.  

Video taken from Messi's security cameras begins to play, as shots of Messi puttering about his home, confused and wearing a bathrobe and bright yellow Crocs, fill the screen.

CRISTIANO (voice-over, clearly quite pleased with himself): We've bribed Messi's staff, including his personal valet, Jorge, to help us with this DELICIOUS prank.  Let's see what happens, shall we?

Security camera footage continues to follow Leonardo as he walks through the house, confused, calling for Jorge and his wife, Antonella.  No one answers.

LEO: Jorge?!  Where are you?  I need more mantequilla de mani?  The peanut butter, yes?  Jorge?!  Donde la puta se fue...

Hearing no answer, Leo begins to mutter to himself angrily.  The security cameras continue to follow him as he searches through the kitchen and pantry, looking for peanut butter.

LEO (muttering to himself): Lord above, He knows I can't do this.  I need me some peanut butter to start my day.  A growing boy needs protein!   That's what Papa Pep told me.

The camera cuts away to a shot of Cristiano and his son, watching the camera feeds from a utility truck parked down the street.  They laugh as Messi looks through the pantry for the fourth time.  To no avail.

LEO (getting angry, now searching for Jorge): JORGE!  Where is that deaf ****, anyways.  This is exactly what happened the day we lost to Chile in the Copa finals...I didn't have my peanut butter, and a nation cried.  I've told him...he's been warned.  JORGE!?!

The cameras follow as Leo wanders outside, confused that Jorge, his loyal employee and friend all these years, has seemingly abandoned him to a peanut-butter-less fate.  In the van, Cristiano and Cristiano Junior are rolling on the floor laughing.  The rest of the crew appears bored, checking their smartphones.  Jorge is stricken with grief, on the verge of tears, slowly shaking his head.

As Leo wanders into the backyard, he stops.  Stunned.  The camera pulls back to show that Leo's hillside infinity pool, with a view overlooking the city of Barcelona and the Mediterranean beyond, is full of peanut butter.  To the brim.  Messi rubs his eyes.  Confused.  A pack of feral dogs sit on and around the diving board, full of peanut butter and determined to defend their cache.  They growl as Messi approaches, bewildered and oblivious to their increasingly insistent warnings that he back away from their peanut butter.

LEO (confused, softly): Jorge?  What...?  Nella?  Where...how?  Breakfast...the...

Cristiano and Cristiano Junior are beside themselves with laughter in the van.  Jorge has broken down in tears, muttering to himself; he cannot watch.  He didn't know about the dogs.  The crew remain focused on their smartphones, only occasionally glancing up to see the scenes unfolding.

Leo continues to amble slowly towards the pool, shaking his head to try and clear the last foggy moments of sleep from his brain.  Taking this as a sign of aggression, the feral pack of dogs leap to defend their prize.  Leo finally notices and recoils in horror as they charge towards him en masse.  He screams in sheer terror, with nowhere to run.  His only avenue of escape, is a leap into the pool of peanut butter.  Indecision reigns supreme in Leo's eyes, as the pack closes in.  

The camera cuts away to Cristiano and his son in the studio, as the audience roars with laughter.

A cleaning crew is attempting to mop up the ocean of olive oil on the floor, with little success.  Cristiano, sensing the mood of the crowd, flexes and roars triumphantly.  Neither he nor anyone else on stage are wearing any clothes.  Only generous blurring in post-production saves the innocent eyes of the millions watching from home.

With a twinkle in his eye, Cristiano turns to the camera, still flexing, to utter his now-famous catch-phrase.

CRISTIANO (laughing, shrugging his shoulders innocently): Tune in next week, for the exciting conclusion of tonight's episode...will Leo's love for peanut butter be his end, or his savior?  One way or another...you know how it is...  Sorry, not sorry, Leo!!!

CROWD (shouting with glee): YOU DONE BEEN PLAYED!

Much to the chagrin of the cleaning crew, more oil is found and brought on stage, as the samba rhythm begins with renewed vigor.

FADE OUT

I don't even know where to begin. 

This thread is one big WTF after another and I love it.

[Rikulec]

Jesus Christ.

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, Keano16 said:

Well, that was interesting......I feel a documentary coming about Messi's secret love for peanut butter. 

2 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I don't even know where to begin. 

This thread is one big WTF after another and I love it.

45 minutes ago, Rikulec said:

Jesus Christ.

Cristiano appreciates you reading and commenting 

[Benjoe]

This whole thread is sorta meh

 

 

Nah I'm kidding, it's beautiful man!

[ManUtd1]

2 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Nah I'm kidding, it's beautiful man!

[Benjoe]

10 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I'm the Hoff right? Right?

Almost looks like how I imagine Hakan dressed in a club in Ibiza...Wait, why am I imagining that?

[ManUtd1]

Crazy people are not crazy if one accepts their reasoning.

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

December 2044 Mini-Update

The winter has set in, and we'll take advantage of this break.  The side need a little downtime.  We're pushing hard on all fronts, and making a go of it.  But, we need to prepare for a long run-in.

In the Bundesliga, we're 2nd on goal difference.  4 points behind Dortmund, level with Leipzig.  After a match against Augsburg, we'll face Dortmund, Gladdyburk and Bayern, with a chance for revenge.

Bologna is a great draw for the Europa League, and some of the biggest sides left are facing each other -- Gabbldrukker face Juventus, Bayern drew Monaco, Tottenham face Roma, Fenerbahce drew Porto.  This is a competition we can win, if we push.  Arsenal, Valencia and Fiorentina have more straightforward draws, and will almost certainly be lurking in the draw for the next round.  But, we just need to focus on ourselves and take care of business.

Several big months ahead.  The push for the Champions League spot we surrendered last year.  A fight in the Europa League.  And World Cup Qualifying with the Greeks.

Time to focus.  After a little holiday fun.

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, Benjoe said:

I'm the Hoff right? Right?

Almost looks like how I imagine Hakan dressed in a club in Ibiza...Wait, why am I imagining that?

You can be the Hoff.  

So long as I can keep the talking car.

[ManUtd1]

I'd forgotten about this.  Talk about a tough group.

 

 

 

Ironically, "relatively straightforward" is a relative turn of phrase.

[Akkarin]

On 16/04/2017 at 04:03, ManUtd1 said:

This kid is going to be unreal.  Well worth every penny.

 

  

July 2046 seems a long ways off, but it'll allow for him to be in the squad when we mount a CL challenge.

For all the hilarity of this story, I just couldn't help but get hung up on the fact that you've hired my compatriot Martin as DoF... if my memory serves he was the one to offer you the Spain job not so long ago? Or was that a trick of the eyes, he was your DoF all along?

[Akkarin]

On 16/04/2017 at 04:03, ManUtd1 said:

This kid is going to be unreal.  Well worth every penny.

 

  

July 2046 seems a long ways off, but it'll allow for him to be in the squad when we mount a CL challenge.

For all the hilarity of this story, I just couldn't help but get hung up on the fact that you've hired my compatriot Martin as DoF... if my memory serves he was the one to offer you the Spain job not so long ago? Or was that a trick of the eyes, he was your DoF all along?

[noikeee]

This career poses a SERIOUS PROBLEM for me. I'm following a bunch of careers, and typically read from the bottom of the forum to the top, but I'll often stop midway to do actual productive things... and start from the bottom again next time. Since this is constantly at the top as you're updating constantly and people comment all the time, I never reach this career. When I do reach it, I've got like 5 pages to read. 

I didn't know who to cheer for in that Greece-Portugal final. I still don't know whether to be happy for you, or to curse you as a rival.

Bald Ronaldo. 

Frankfurt is coming along nicely this season, better in the Bundesliga, easy in the Europa. I sense at least a trophy coming, no idea which one - cup, league or Europa.

Keep pushing.

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, Akkarin said:

For all the hilarity of this story, I just couldn't help but get hung up on the fact that you've hired my compatriot Martin as DoF... if my memory serves he was the one to offer you the Spain job not so long ago? Or was that a trick of the eyes, he was your DoF all along?

He's been my DoF all along - I've tasked him with, among other things, finding and making offers for young talent (I always finalize them). He's been pretty solid 

1 hour ago, noikeee said:

This career poses a SERIOUS PROBLEM for me. I'm following a bunch of careers, and typically read from the bottom of the forum to the top, but I'll often stop midway to do actual productive things... and start from the bottom again next time. Since this is constantly at the top as you're updating constantly and people comment all the time, I never reach this career. When I do reach it, I've got like 5 pages to read. 

I didn't know who to cheer for in that Greece-Portugal final. I still don't know whether to be happy for you, or to curse you as a rival.

Bald Ronaldo. 

Frankfurt is coming along nicely this season, better in the Bundesliga, easy in the Europa. I sense at least a trophy coming, no idea which one - cup, league or Europa.

Keep pushing.

I get the feeling and have similar issues, but read from the top. At any rate, thanks for reading and the well-wishes 

Trophies have to start coming at the domestic level. We're at that point - a couple years to reshape and develop the team, now's the time for it to start paying off. 

That being said, for some reason the Bundesliga is brutal - far more difficult to win than any other league, in this save at least. Maybe it's just feeling that way because we haven't done it, though -- confirmation bias.

Bald Ronaldo is Best Ronaldo.  Especially when he can't get "Leonardo" Messi's name right...

[BoxToBox]

6 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

He's been my DoF all along - I've tasked him with, among other things, finding and making offers for young talent (I always finalize them). He's been pretty solid 

For some reason I'm imagining him being really bitter in his reports.

"This lad's good, didn't make a senior NT appearance at 15 though, did he?"

"This one's worth a punt, even if Real Madrid wouldn't pay him sixty grand a week at 16...."

"I don't think there'd be a media campaign to get this guy on FM, he'll do though, I suppose."

[ManUtd1]

1 minute ago, BoxToBox said:

For some reason I'm imagining him being really bitter in his reports.

"This lad's good, didn't make a senior NT appearance at 15 though, did he?"

"This one's worth a punt, even if Real Madrid wouldn't pay him sixty grand a week at 16...."

"I don't think there'd be a media campaign to get this guy on FM, he'll do though, I suppose."

I'm very disappointed to not have had this spark of genius! 

[noikeee]

34 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

That being said, for some reason the Bundesliga is brutal - far more difficult to win than any other league, in this save at least. Maybe it's just feeling that way because we haven't done it, though -- confirmation bias.

I wonder if it's the same thing I'm facing in Holland with narrow tactics too, which we were talking about in my thread and @BoxToBox's.

In Holland I face lone strikers which means a trio of CBs is useless vs 1 single guy; a combo of attacking fullbacks + traditional wingers bombing down the flanks, making it a 2 vs 1 against my unprotected wingbacks; and high pressure in midfield making it harder for me to play my passing game and use my overload in midfield. Seems like your tactics use an even more extreme midfield overload, so I think it could be the same thing. Specially given that Germany's right next to Holland and play similar football, and specially having had a look at your struggles in the EL final vs Liverpool on a 4-2-3-1, which is exactly what I struggle against too.

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, noikeee said:

I wonder if it's the same thing I'm facing in Holland with narrow tactics too, which we were talking about in my thread and @BoxToBox's.

In Holland I face lone strikers which means a trio of CBs is useless vs 1 single guy; a combo of attacking fullbacks + traditional wingers bombing down the flanks, making it a 2 vs 1 against my unprotected wingbacks; and high pressure in midfield making it harder for me to play my passing game and use my overload in midfield. Seems like your tactics use an even more extreme midfield overload, so I think it could be the same thing. Specially given that Germany's right next to Holland and play similar football, and specially having had a look at your struggles in the EL final vs Liverpool on a 4-2-3-1, which is exactly what I struggle against too.

Good question. I have seen that discussion in the other threads, but haven't chimed in (obviously!).

Thinking about solely the defensive perspective, a 4231 that stretches us wide seems to be the most effective tactic against us, provided that the attack is focused on ball movement and/or whipping/driven crosses. We're (theoretically) so compact defensively that you need to pull us out of position or find that half-yard of space to create something. 

A structured 4231 with defensive central midfielders (right by role or in the DM strata) seems to cause the most difficulty overall, as this exploits our lack of wide midfielders, while staying solid in the middle for any counter.

Frankly, a 4231 with attacking central mids, or playing roles where those midfielders are not covering the back 4, is a dream for me, because of how often we counter at pace, through the middle of the pitch. We're very much set up to punish teams that are too aggressive (execution is the primary issue here).

I guess what I'm saying is that it isn't so much the 4231 on and of itself that causes problems. It's the entire structure of the opposition - while an aggressive/wide 4231 can cause problems (through the wingers or fullbacks), that is almost always offset by the weaknesses of that approach in transition, given our attack.

Keeping that in mind, a team that sits deep and aims solely to hit us on the counter can present serious problems if my players aren't good enough to "solve" the problem presented.  This is a common theme, in my early implementation of the system at the club level. It is also an issue with the Greeks (and was, with the Czechs), when talented, determined opposition sit deep. Granted, this a problem we all face. Our off the ball movement is the critical component in this system, and how we break through the stalemate - we're built to pull defenses out of position. At least, in theory.

Thankfully the 442 with DMs and wingers employed/perfected by @smp20 isn't something I see very often, as that could theoretically be very effective against me. 

Edited April 17, 2017 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

Just realized that I didn't really answer your question, @noikeee... 

I haven't noticed any real difference in tactical variety, in Germany versus other nations. Rather, there seems to be very little difference between the top teams and middle of the pack. Bayern and Dortmund do tend to be the big buying clubs in the market, but the chasing pack is replenishing consistently - youth production and transfers in. It's a league with big stadiums, healthy prize money...maybe that accounts for the difficulty in breaking through - as this structure might create overall competitive balance unlike what you see elsewhere. A smaller gap between the big and middle clubs.

Now I'm just rambling...

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

As @noikeee said, I think you'll get, at minimum, one trophy this season.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Fer Fuchs Ake

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

As @noikeee said, I think you'll get, at minimum, one trophy this season.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.  We need to grab one, at some point.

[Guimy]

On 14-4-2017 at 17:04, ManUtd1 said:

We kids hate it when mommy and daddy fight...

 

I'm the daddy though, right?

[Guimy]

@ManUtd1 I don't suppose you'd like to do a write-up of one or both of those tactics on Strikerless?

[noikeee]

On 17/04/2017 at 20:09, ManUtd1 said:

Good question. I have seen that discussion in the other threads, but haven't chimed in (obviously!).

Thinking about solely the defensive perspective, a 4231 that stretches us wide seems to be the most effective tactic against us, provided that the attack is focused on ball movement and/or whipping/driven crosses. We're (theoretically) so compact defensively that you need to pull us out of position or find that half-yard of space to create something. 

A structured 4231 with defensive central midfielders (right by role or in the DM strata) seems to cause the most difficulty overall, as this exploits our lack of wide midfielders, while staying solid in the middle for any counter.

Frankly, a 4231 with attacking central mids, or playing roles where those midfielders are not covering the back 4, is a dream for me, because of how often we counter at pace, through the middle of the pitch. We're very much set up to punish teams that are too aggressive (execution is the primary issue here).

I guess what I'm saying is that it isn't so much the 4231 on and of itself that causes problems. It's the entire structure of the opposition - while an aggressive/wide 4231 can cause problems (through the wingers or fullbacks), that is almost always offset by the weaknesses of that approach in transition, given our attack.

Yeah I understand a formation by itself doesn't tell the whole story as 2 equal formations can play dramatically different under different settings. However despite this, I've found the formation to be a surprisingly strong enough clue on its own, for us to adapt and try to outsmart the AI. I think this is because the AI tends to play certain formations certain ways. For example in the 4-2-3-1 the lone striker tends to always drop deep to link up with the 3 AMs, rather than try to stretch the defence. And I've never seen a "defensive" 4-2-3-1, the AI either uses it on normal or attacking mentalities. Those things makes sense, because that's how you would set up a 4-2-3-1, but it makes them a little predictable to some extent (although there's still some variance, you can definitely see variants with more or less pressing, more or less fluidity).

Quote

 

Keeping that in mind, a team that sits deep and aims solely to hit us on the counter can present serious problems if my players aren't good enough to "solve" the problem presented.  This is a common theme, in my early implementation of the system at the club level. It is also an issue with the Greeks (and was, with the Czechs), when talented, determined opposition sit deep. Granted, this a problem we all face. Our off the ball movement is the critical component in this system, and how we break through the stalemate - we're built to pull defenses out of position. At least, in theory.

Thankfully the 442 with DMs and wingers employed/perfected by @smp20 isn't something I see very often, as that could theoretically be very effective against me. 

 

Ever since I tried strikerless variants in a test save, I've held the belief that it tends to be a much better option when the opposition grants you space. I'm not surprised by that.

You're highly unlikely to face an aggressive 4-4-2 with DMs, smp's style. I've faced this formation very often in Uruguay, but on very negative, defensive settings - the AI considers it a defensive option. At the beginning I struggled against this, but over time I came to perfect an approach against it: hogging lots of possession, tiki-taka style is very effective. Which is kinda what you do! However I did play with 2 strikers, one of them a AF to stretch the defence - on your strikerless approach, you're crowding the DM area which they'd have 2 of them, so it would probably be a little more difficult for you there.

I want to manage in Germany at some stage so it will be interesting to see if I go through the same experience!

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, Guimy said:

I'm the daddy though, right?

4 hours ago, Guimy said:

@ManUtd1 I don't suppose you'd like to do a write-up of one or both of those tactics on Strikerless?

I'll shoot you a PM.

[ManUtd1]

Well said, @noikeee, on all counts. I agree that a defensive/counter 442 with wingers and DMs would likely present a problem, one that -- in the early stages of developing a side for this system -- we would struggle to overcome.

I tend to think that, with quality players, we become the kind of side that is difficult to stop, even knowing what we're going to do. If you don't track someone making a run, he'll kill you. If you do track him, spaces open up. If you try to play a zonal defense, to focus on defending space, we'll hit you in the seams.

Ok, I'm rambling again and just starting the obvious 

[ManUtd1]

Hello Jünter my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

February 2045 Mini-Update

Alright.  Not an ideal start, to the year but it was good enough.  We're on track for a Champions League finish if we can hold our nerve.

We were far from clinical against Bologna...which is either a blip or a harbinger of dark times ahead.  I don't know which.  Drawing Gludberbeesdle in the Europa League means that we'll face them 3 times over a 15-day period in March in 2 different cups.  Not quite a clasico, but it does have a very Simon & Garfunkel vibe to it...

 

Edited April 20, 2017 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

Ludwig keeps telling me to watch this kid in the Academy.  Can't he see that I'm busy?  Sheesh.  I ask him what the big deal is, and he just says I have to see for myself.

 

 

Sweet RNGeebus.

[ManUtd1]

A few others from this year's crop:

    

 

Best intake I've had in ages.

[deltablue]

He's alright I guess

[Benjoe]

Solid would be an understatement! 

I mean, I agree with @deltablue. He is okay. He could make me tea, maybe.

Edited April 20, 2017 by Benjoe

[BoxToBox]

Hell of an intake!

[ManUtd1]

27 minutes ago, deltablue said:

He's alright I guess

27 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Solid would be an understatement! 

I mean, I agree with @deltablue. He is okay. He could make me tea, maybe.

25 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Hell of an intake!

He might be able to make the tea, but I keep the bags up high in the cupboards...that jumping reach just isn't going to cut it.

[Benjoe]

Just now, ManUtd1 said:

He might be able to make the tea, but I keep the bags up high in the cupboards...that jumping reach just isn't going to cut it.

He's ***** then!

[BoxToBox]

1 minute ago, ManUtd1 said:

He might be able to make the tea, but I keep the bags up high in the cupboards...that jumping reach just isn't going to cut it.

His determination and agility means he should be able to climb up.

[ManUtd1]

Just now, BoxToBox said:

His determination and agility means he should be able to climb up.

I think this outside-of-the-box thinking.  From the man who brought you Grapefruit, ladies and gentlemen!

[Benjoe]

8 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

His determination and agility means he should be able to climb up.

8 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I think this outside-of-the-box thinking.  From the man who brought you Grapefruit, ladies and gentlemen!

But with 5 positioning he'd just place the cup on the edge of the table. Next thing you know you got boiling coffee on your everything. 

Also, say he was supposed to be making both a pot of tea Aaaaand one pot of coffee. With 3 marking I don't even want to imagine how badly he'd mess up putting stickers on the pots telling you what was in which. 

Suddenly you walk into the kitchen and Kammerbauer has turned your kitchen into an episode of Community.

 

[ManUtd1]

10 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Suddenly you walk into the kitchen and Kammerbauer has turned your kitchen into an episode of Community.

Damn it, Kammerbauer.  You could have built a blanket fort.  Pavel would have helped expand it.

[Benjoe]

18 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Damn it, Kammerbauer.  You could have built a blanket fort.  Pavel would have helped expand it.

[ManUtd1]

Hello Jünter my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...

          

Eintracht Frankfurt / Greece

March 2045 Mini-Update

The run-up to our Europa League match wasn't quite ideal.  2 wins from 2 in the Bundesliga, but a 1-0 loss for my 2nd XI against Glooberbelebele in the DFB-Pokal.

The first leg at the Commerzbank was nervy, but we won out thanks to goals in the opening and closing minutes of the match.  You have to concentrate for the full 90, lads, yeah?  We played the overwhelming majority of the match in PM Libre.

The return leg...that was always going to be a big one.  My 2nd XI flopped to a 1-0 loss at Koln on the weekend.  The useless ****s.

We set out playing In Catene, hoping to shut them down, hit them on the counter and get an away goal to match theirs.  After all, I always prefer to play in Europe against a side that has to chase the match.

A missed header sprung Friedeck through in the 11th, giving us the away goal we needed on a rainy night.  It's an ideal start.  Not quite 2 minutes later, Tsakiridis curls a corner...met by Kuhn at the near post, he makes no mistake.  2-nil on the night, 4-1 on aggregate.  Frankfurt are rampant.  

Junter and I exchange harsh words in the tunnel heading in for the half, and have to be separated by the 4th official.  Cheeky ****.

  I'd like to say that we remained focused, but Fleischer drilled a header into our own net in the 52nd, giving Junter a lifeline.  He's taunting me mercilessly from the stands.  I pay him no mind.

When Garrido rifles a free kick home in the 59th, though, we're in for the fight of our lives.  Borussia-Park is electric.  We have the away goals, so Glodderramurdung still need 2.  I can feel Junter's eyes boring a hole in the back of my skull.

We tighten up at the back, and hold our nerve.  I turn to Junter, flash him a cheeky grin and saunter off down the tunnel.

It wasn't pretty, but that doesn't matter.  We're through.  We host Mainz in 3 days' time, before I head out to Austria for the Greeks' first World Cup Qualifying match.

 

[BoxToBox]

20 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Glooberbelebele

The away leg was a bit more away than earlier thought!

[ManUtd1]

3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

The away leg was a bit more away than earlier thought!

At some point, Hakan needs to learn how to say it properly.

[Benjoe]

Bayern pummeled this season. Leipzig going to run away with it?

[BoxToBox]

10 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

At some point, Hakan needs to learn how to say it properly.

God I hope not!

As for Umbelebele, my problem is I can't stop at just two...... Umbelebelebelebelebele.....

[ManUtd1]

8 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Bayern pummeled this season. Leipzig going to run away with it?

We'll see.  They've gone from 4 down (in 3rd) at the winter break, to 4 points clear at the top.  The run-in will be tough.

1 minute ago, BoxToBox said:

God I hope not!

As for Umbelebele, my problem is I can't stop at just two...... Umbelebelebelebelebele.....

[EvilDave]

15 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

 

That's where I'm managing!

[ManUtd1]

Big day for Christos, who has a lot of years ahead of him.

 

He claimed the record from Vasalas, one of my players in the CL-winning Fiorentina side:

[ManUtd1]

3 minutes ago, EvilDave said:

That's where I'm managing!

Wikipedia has a football side?  Nice.

[Benjoe]

32 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

We'll see.  They've gone from 4 down (in 3rd) at the winter break, to 4 points clear at the top.  The run-in will be tough.

Insane form they've been in then.

16 minutes ago, EvilDave said:

That's where I'm managing!

ED, is it just me or are these "big league big shot" managers making fun of our lesser known team names?

[ManUtd1]

Hey!  I love the lesser-known team names!