The £25m Club

[Callum871]

One of Britain's oldest, most feared and most respected clubs has gone bust. Assem Allam withdrew his funding for good from Premier League heavyweights Hull City; letting the club die a slow and painful death; as nobody wanted to actually buy a club situated in the middle of nowhere. 

Of course in England we don't stand for stuff like this. The 12 actual Hull City fans teamed up and persuaded a consortium of businessmen to purchase the rights to their favourite logo, even though all of the saleable assets had gone. Nobody could quite comprehend how these businessmen had got quite so rich considering they pour their money into investments like this, but there you go.

As it turns out; these businessmen weren't as rich as they were letting on. Dave, 47, The White Horse Pub, was outraged. 'How are we supposed to build a Premier League squad for £25m? This better not disrupt Brexit!' The outrage continued as Sheila from Bransholme stated 'Well it's all you  hear on the news nowadays, football. What happened to the good news about taking our country back and missing children?' 

Upon finding out about this lack of money; every player left the club. Including David Meyler, who's now focusing on a career in FUT Champions. 'I've had a good run in football, really, but my real future is entertaining 11 year old boys on the internet.' His wife left him that evening. All of the staff left too. Marco Silva strolled out of the building, humming 'Marco Silva, I am, Marco Silva, I am.' I'm glad he isn't having an identity crisis bless him.

The FA were dealing with more pressing issues, and Derby were deemed as too likely to bottle the Premier League again, so Hull got to stay. They are of course a footballing institution. We aren't Scotland, we're nicer.

So up steps you; the tortured soul who has just had to read through this; can you somehow build a squad for £25m, and keep the newfounded AFC Hull in the Premier League? Sure you can. 

 

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