This Saint Gonna Be Easy: Ch. V - Endgame

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

25 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

We rank 17th for goals conceded.

Sorry, I've messed that up. That implies we've a good defence. I mean there's only three teams who've conceded more than us. We have the fourth highest amount of goals conceded.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

So close to winning Manager of the Month for March. 

Michael King hasn't actually won anything yet. 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Some thrilling 3pm matches here. A great advert for the game.

[BoxToBox]

Brighton v West Brom will go down in history.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Brighton v West Brom will go down in history.

The best thing about that is, for me, it would've been the dullest game on paper prior to kickoff.

 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

April Update:

Thought we were in for a disaster after the first game but we turned it round. Decent overall and it means we won't get relegated. This of course means we meet the board's expectations which is great.

Stoke (A):

Heh. Yeah, so this happened. Being honest, after this result I had a feeling that I'd dread showing you this month (assumed we'd lose to Spurs and United). Bizarrely, we didn't play badly other than our defence, obviously. We created a lot of chances of our own but their keeper (Butland) was on fire and got a 7.5. We conceded early and our morale plummeted. The defence got split open after every attack and even when it was just 1-0, I thought "This could end 3 or 4-0 if we continue like this." As I said, we were normal in midfield and up front but the defenders just gave up once the first went in. A shambolic display from them saw us concede all 4 in the first half. Stoke were in the top half prior to this so I didn't expect a win but I didn't expect humiliation. Very disappointing. You can blame this one all on the defence.

Tottenham (H): G. Manuel Lanzini, Marko Arnautovic  A. Michail Antonio (2)

Well, this certainly made up for the previous match! A really incredible counter-attacking display saw us claim a deserved 2-0 win over our arch rivals, the Spuds. We set up in a 4-4-1-1 and looked to hit them on the break where we could. Given the gulf in class and our counter-attacking style, it was a surprise that we had the better of the game. They mustered only 3 SOT as we forced them to shoot from distance by defending deep. This extremely solid display contrasts heavily with the previous game. We had 7 SOT by the way, they had 12 shots while we had 17. I don't like to wax lyrical about my sides because I know it might look biased but we truly were solid as a rock in defence and attack here. Winks had a solid game against his former club, getting a 7.4. Our goals came on 68' and 82' if you were wondering.

Norwich (A): G. Scott Sinclair, Javier Hernandez  A. Michail Antonio (2)

Antonio is really important to us, isn't he? This was a game we needed to win to put us almost certainly clear of the drop (though not mathematically at this point). We got the result we needed and in convincing fashion too. We scored both of our goals in the first half (6' and 21') while they had to wait until 90+2' for theirs. I don't mean to be a dick here but I can see why they're facing the drop. Austin is their top scorer and main striker and he's only averaging a 6.64 with 7 goals in 27. He was awful in this game, missing every chance that came his way. He would just constantly shank everything wide. And their defending! Woeful. Sinclair and Hernandez were completely unmarked for their goals. Norwich's goal was a scrappy tap in from a ping-ponging set piece.

Man Utd (H):

Great result, awful match. They had a lot more about them than Spurs and our 4-4-1-1 was tested heavily here. they were second coming into this and were on top form. Look, I'll admit we parked the bus to get this result but you've gotta do what you've gotta do. If it means sitting deep and playing on the counter, then so be it. They pounded us all game but we held firm to deny them. Icardi had a poor game which helped. Strangely, Olsen was the star of the show. He was MOTM and got a 7.6. Strange because it rarely happens in FM but it was certainly deserved. He saved a penalty from Martial on 85' for us to keep the draw. This result meant that we were mathematically clear of the drop too. Good stuff all round.

Leicester (A): G. Javier Hernandez  A. Michail Antonio

Unfortunately, we end the month on a low point. A loss against an in-form Leicester side away isn't bad but when they were down to ten men fro the 63rd minute, we should at least be drawing. Vardy got two goals for them in the first half and I feared we'd have a repeat of the Stoke result. Thankfully, we fought back in the second half and Javier Hernandez gave us a lifeline on 53'. We looked like we'd be able to get a draw when Fuchs got sent off on 63' but we couldn't take advantage as they parked the bus. Not a bad result under normal circumstances but when you're against ten men, you've got to do better.

 

Key Points:

• Antonio assisted all of our goals this month. He's vital to us.
• Winks is the unsung hero. He doesn't get goals or assists but he is easily our most consistent performer, constantly getting between a 7.1 to a 7.4. Always creates 2 or 3 clear cut chances per game as well. Even got a 6.9 in the Stoke game.
• Olsen had been very good for us as well. Attributes wise, he's only OK but he seems to be performing above his level. It's good to see.
• The defence alternates between ****ing terrible to impenetrable every few games.
• Jefferson Lerma has been poor and lost his place to Ogbonna.
• We face Southampton next month...

League Table:

We're level on points with Southampton. I'd love to finish above them for obvious reasons. We're 12th which is fine. I said a few days ago that a high mid-table finish (11th-13th would be ideal). Meanwhile, Liverpool are struggling greatly whilst Stoke are very much this season's surprise package and will probably qualify for the Europa League.

Edited January 20, 2018 by Fer Fuchs Ake
Changed ‘season’ to ‘month’ for the Leicester update

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

It was coming towards the end of April and Michael was reviewing the month with his assistant manager, Andries Jonker. Michael had been explaining how the Spurs game was his first proper derby in management. Andries had missed the game due to an illness. That “illness”, Michael suspected, was really just a hangover we had suffered from the party he'd attended the night before.

“What did you make of the exshperience, Michael?”, Andries asked.

“It was a lot fiercer than I thought it would be. Some of those chants were vile. I knew they'd hate Winks for signing for us but you should've heard some of those lyrics! And then there were the chants about Hernandez...”, Michael replied.

“Oh? What were they shaying about Chicharito?”

“I won't go into too much detail. It was mainly wordplay about his “Little Pea”. You can probably guess the rest.”

“Ah, yesh. I think I know what you mean. You won it though. Congratshulations.”

“Cheers, Andries. I'm worried about next month though. I'll be facing my former team away. I need to win that one. I have to show that Krueger and the board made a mistake. That we're a better side. Prove that-”

“You think too much about football, Michael.”, Andries interrupted.

“What?!”, Michael said incredulously, “It's my job, of course I think about it.”

“You need something elshe though. You need to transhfer lisht yourshelf if you know what I'm meaning. ”

Michael didn't. He was completely lost. Andries saw this from the blank look on his face.

“Offer yourshelf out to other clubs. Clubs being women. You're shtill only 27. You should be in nightclubsh in your free time. Joining TinderGram and the like.”

“Yeah, no, it's just called Tinder. And you have a point but I'll do all that in the summer when the players are on holidays. Right now I need to focus on the Brighton match and then, most importantly, the Southampton match. How should I go about that if we win, by the way? How would I rub it in the board's face without being disrespectful to the club?”

Andries sighed. “You think too much about the football. Just as I said. You say you'll do it thish summer. Then, you'll get caught up with transhfers. Then you'll put it off til winter where you'll get caught up in the January window. Even the likes of Ralph Krueger and David Griffithsh have people that they can-”

“Don't finish that sentence.”, Michael interjected. “Look I see what you're saying. But not now. I'll do it some other time.”

Andries tutted. “You'll keep saying that Michael. You'll keep saying it.” And he left, leaving Michael to ponder what he'd said.

And Michael knew he should be considering what Andries had said. But he couldn't take his mind off the Southampton game and how he'd get back at Krueger...

 

 

 

[john1]

Hope you finish above Southampton!!

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

33 minutes ago, john1 said:

Hope you finish above Southampton!!

Cheers John 

So do I. It would be a great start to my time at West Ham.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

May Update:

Very nice indeed. Brighton result aside, we ended the season on a high.

Brighton (H): G. Michail Antonio  A. Harry Winks

They only had 1 shot on target all game. They were in the relegation zone prior to this match (and subsequently got relegated afterwards) so we really should've won this. We had much the better of the game but we were wasteful, managing only 4 SOT from 14 shots. It's nice to see Winks get a mention as he doesn't get many assists, despite putting in some solid performances. Lanzini had a shocker and got a 6.1. Our goal came on 64' while theirs came just 4 minutes afterwards. Definitely two points dropped.

Southampton (A): G. Javier Hernandez (2), Patrik Nyman (2)  A. Michail Antonio (3), Javier Hernandez

YES!!! I one-upped my former club in style. And not only did we win, we smashed them. And not only did we smash them, we confirmed that we would finish above them with this result.A really perfect day for us overall. They set up in a 4-4-2 with Dolberg and Vietto up front. Just like old times, except the 4-4-2 would've been narrow. Dolberg was joint top scorer in the league coming into this match as well! Despite the scoreline, it was a very even game. We were just much more clinical. Javier Hernandez gave us the lead on 34' and scored again on 40'. We ended the half 2 goals up. Dolberg pulled one back on 59' when Vietto (who had a really good game, it has to be said. Got an 8.0) crossed it in for him. Nyman replaced Lanzini late on when we dropped to a more counter-attacking style. He got his first on 87' and then his second on 90+3'. Antonio ended this match level with the record for most assists for a West Ham player in one season. Brilliant result for us here.

Burnley (H): G. Michail Antonio (3), Manuel Lanzini A. Harry Winks (2), Javier Hernandez, Manuel Lanzini

We ended the season about as well as I could've asked for. We should've always been winning this one as they were battling relegation and we were at home but the manner of the victory was quite impressive. Remarkably, we didn't score any of these goals inside the first hour. We didn't even look like scoring for the first half. Then, Antonio got our first on 63' when Winks found him cutting inside. Chicharito released Lanzini on 70' with a beautiful ball through the middle. Lanzini rounded Heaton and slotted it home for 2-0. Antonio got his 2nd of the match on 71' when Lanzini slid him in. Antonio then rounded off his hat trick on 90+2' when Winks found him with a tidy first time pass just inside the box. He didn't break the West Ham assist record but he did get a hat trick. Great performance from us all round.

 

Key Points:

• **** you, Ralph Krueger.
• King has been avenged.
• Top half finish was secured
• Antonio is incredible and so is Hernandez.
• Gomez, Piatti, Dembele, Ayew, Lodeiro, Arnautovic and Rafael Martins will need to be sold. None of them feature for us. A few aren't even registered.
• Good start to my time at West Ham. Hopefully it can continue.
• I'll need to try and get Maicon and Yuri permits over the summer.

Final Standings:

We finish on 54 points, 4 above Southampton and just three off a potential Europa League spot. We claimed a top half finish which defied the board's expectations of merely avoiding relegation. Meanwhile, United won the league after clawing back Chelsea's lead in the last 2 matches. Liverpool had a shocking season and won't even be in Europe next year. Stoke managed to defy all expectations and finish 6th. The rest of the table is pretty much normal.

 

And onwards we go. Hopefully upwards too.

[BoxToBox]

Brilliant!

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

8th of May, 2021, 3pm

St. Mary's Stadium

The match had been played, expectations had been defied and his team talk had been given. Michael was jubilant. He'd had a point to prove and he'd proven it. But he still had one last thing to do. He needed to find Ralph Krueger. He  knew that he'd be there. He was an arrogant bastard who'd assume Southampton would beat Michael's side. Unless, he  had done a runner after seeing his team lose, which wouldn't  be unlike him, the absolute snake. He strolled calmly through the stadium, down some stairs and through some doors. Eventually, he spotted Ralph leaving the toilets, his back to Michael.

“Not such a bad side after all, are we Ralph?”, said Michael. Ralph jumped, turned around and scowled. “I, for one, think we're very good.” Michael added, deliberately sounding out the words “for” and “one” to sound like the scoreline. 

Ralph's scowl deepened. “Oh look who it is. The manager whose only slight success is coming with a squad he inherited. You're pathetic. So pathetic that you were too chicken to even follow up on any of those threats you made the day you got sacked.”, Ralph snapped back.

“Er yeah, that's called a bluff? Making sure you wouldn't feel like you'd won. You fell for it too. Like I'd be able to be employed again if I backstabbed my former employer as soon as I was sacked. Not how football works. Not that you'd know anything about football.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Yeah well, we'll be finishing above you and we beat you four-one. Your team barely had a look-in all game and you won't even make the top half. We, on the other hand, may well finish in the top half with a squad that I haven't even been able to mold yet. Imagine what we'll be like when I make my mark on the squad.”

“God help them.”

“Yeah, funny. Well I just came to brag about how I'm managing a better club than the one you're supposedly chairman at. And rub it in your face that we won heavily. Now that I've done that, I'll be on my way”, Michael said before skirting around Ralph and beginning to walk away.

“Michael!”, Ralph called. Michael turner around.

Ralph continued. “You do know that I'm close friends with Brad Manning don't you?”

“Who?”

“Christ, you're unbelievable.”, Ralph exclaimed. “He's the owner of your club, you horse's ***. I've told him a bit about you. I know he's happy with you now but he has that seed of doubt in his mind. If you begin to slip up, and you inevitably will, well... He mightn't be too lenient.”

A look of worry flashed across Michael's eyes before his previous cocky grin was restored. “Well, I won't need to worry about that. I won't give him reason to so much as question me.”, Michael replied, sounding a lot more sure than he actually was.

Ralph didn't say anything. He just scoffed and turned on his heel before walking away. 

Michael felt satisfied that he had been able to boast to Ralph. But he also felt a sense of apprehension. Ralph certainly would've had some choice words for Brad Manning. Words that Brad would remember if things began to go south. And then he felt something new. A determination fuelled by his hatred for Krueger. A determination that this would be different, that he would not fail. He wouldn't give Krueger the satisfaction. And with that thought in his head, he too turned around and left the stadium.

 

 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Just realised I nearly forgot to show you the end of season stuff.

Here is the budget:

It's quite good, a bit higher than I expected. Shame we only get 75% of transfer revenue.

Season Review:

All positive stuff here except for the 6-1 vs City. We don't talk about that.

Team Of The Season:

The Cresswell goal was the 30 yard free kick vs Everton I was telling you about in the match report. IDK how Ayew beat Winks to TOTS. Also, what's Ingvartsen doing ahead of Nyman/Lanzini? Probably best not to question it. The rest is justified though.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

[john1]

Fantastic to see you finished above your former club  Decent budget for next season  

[Adonalsium]

Great position to finish on. Southampton fans might be pretty pissed at their board for getting rid of you now.

Man, Krueger *really* hates you. Someone should tell him to chill.

Spoiler

 

Birmingham, July 12th, 2047

Yes, someone should've told him to chill. After many chill-free years, fate eventually caught up with him. He was told to chill. Multiple times. In a dark, windowless room. While having him sit on a single, flimsy chair under the flickering lamp-light. The shadows growing longer around him as he waited for his tormentor to return. His face draining of color as he heard a faint thump downstairs. Life-sized posters of Michael King plastered all over the room around him; on the walls, the floor, even up in the ceiling, grinning, leering, ever so knowingly. They knew why he's in there, and much like their life-like counterpart, were content to wear that knowledge on their faces. Krueger hated them. But sometimes they were his only companions. Even your worst enemies could be pleasant company if you were out of options. In Krueger's case, that was an overstatement. He didn't find it pleasurable at all. Not the long, fruitless silences. Not the persistent whispers. Nor the scratching just beyond the edge of his hearing. The silences were the worst. Sometimes the scratching seemed to come from all around him. Behind the posters on the walls. Something trying to dig its way out. No, it was not pleasurable. But Krueger withstood it all. As it turned out, some company - no matter how foul - was better than none. If not for the posters, he'd have gone barking mad ages ago.

Someone turned the doorknob outside. The simple mechanism snapped into place and the door slowly opened inwards. Its well-oiled hinges didn't make a single creak as his tormentor stepped across the perimeter. Krueger tried to say something, but like always, his mouth only worked silently, as if he couldn't find the right words to say. 

"Well, hello there Ralph," his tormentor said. "You're looking better every day."

Krueger cringed as the poster-Kings chuckled and sneered at him. He could've sworn one of them even winked.

"Still not talking?" 

Krueger shook his head.

"You will, at some point. You, or someone else."

The room fell into a long, uncomfortable silence. Krueger crumpled in on himself as much as he could, feeling his tormentor's gaze drilling into him. He breathed shallowly through his nose.

"She called for you, you know. Her last words. 'Ralph'."

Krueger grimaced in the darkness. He coughed weakly, once, twice. 

"I will ask you once again." the voice continued quietly. Dangerously. "Where is Michael King?"

Krueger breathed in shallowly through his nose. Then he chuckled. If only they knew.

If only Krueger didn't.

 

Edited January 25, 2018 by Adonalsium

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

16 hours ago, john1 said:

Fantastic to see you finished above your former club  Decent budget for next season  

Cheers John. It was definitely a good season and hopefully we can build on that. I was able to add to the transfer budget by offloading a lot of deadwood so I had even more to spend. Many new faces have come in...

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

14 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

Great position to finish on. Southampton fans might be pretty pissed at their board for getting rid of you now.

Man, Krueger *really* hates you. Someone should tell him to chill.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Birmingham, July 12th, 2047

Yes, someone should've told him to chill. After many chill-free years, fate eventually caught up with him. He was told to chill. Multiple times. In a dark, windowless room. While having him sit on a single, flimsy chair under the flickering lamp-light. The shadows growing longer around him as he waited for his tormentor to return. His face draining of color as he heard a faint thump downstairs. Life-sized posters of Michael King plastered all over the room around him; on the walls, the floor, even up in the ceiling, grinning, leering, ever so knowingly. They knew why he's in there, and much like their life-like counterpart, were content to wear that knowledge on their faces. Krueger hated them. But sometimes they were his only companions. Even your worst enemies could be pleasant company if you were out of options. In Krueger's case, that was an overstatement. He didn't find it pleasurable at all. Not the long, fruitless silences. Not the persistent whispers. Nor the scratching just beyond the edge of his hearing. The silences were the worst. Sometimes the scratching seemed to come from all around him. Behind the posters on the walls. Something trying to dig its way out. No, it was not pleasurable. But Krueger withstood it all. As it turned out, some company - no matter how foul - was better than none. If not for the posters, he'd have gone barking mad ages ago.

Someone turned the doorknob outside. The simple mechanism snapped into place and the door slowly opened inwards. Its well-oiled hinges didn't make a single creak as his tormentor stepped across the perimeter. Krueger tried to say something, but like always, his mouth only worked silently, as if he couldn't find the right words to say. 

"Well, hello there Ralph," his tormentor said. "You're looking better every day."

Krueger cringed as the poster-Kings chuckled and sneered at him. He could've sworn one of them even winked.

"Still not talking?" 

Krueger shook his head.

"You will, at some point. You, or someone else."

The room fell into a long, uncomfortable silence. Krueger crumpled in on himself as much as he could, feeling his tormentor's gaze drilling into him. He breathed shallowly through his nose.

"She called for you, you know. Her last words. 'Ralph'."

Krueger grimaced in the darkness. He coughed weakly, once, twice. 

"I will ask you once again." the voice continued quietly. Dangerously. "Where is Michael King?"

Krueger breathed in shallowly through his nose. Then he chuckled. If only they knew.

If only Krueger didn't.

 

They also sold Vietto and Dolberg over the summer (to Fiorentina and Newcastle respectively) so the fans are certainly getting a bid restless. 

As for Krueger, there's something about him ending up in an institution that's... surprisingly unsurprising.

[Guest El Payaso]

Great end to the season. Top 7 on the cards next season? Any transfer targets from Southampton in mind?

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

15 minutes ago, El Payaso said:

Great end to the season. Top 7 on the cards next season? Any transfer targets from Southampton in mind?

Cheers! Top 7 would be great but I  won't expect it for this season. Board want a mid-table finish which we should easily get. Top half finish is the main goal. I was stalking after Luke Ryan (the goalkeeper who came in through the youth intake in my second season at Southampton) but they wouldn't relent. I'll persist and hopefully land him next summer. 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Transfer Update: Summer 2021

Finally.  Sorry it's taken so long. I've been doing a hell of a lot of selling, buying and scouting so it's taken ages.

José Tavares

The first of two Tavareses, José comes in for a bizarrely low amount. I chased him while at Southampton and Toulouse quoted me at ~£30M. I was expecting resistance from them again but they were very willing Toulouse him. He wasn't even transfer listed so I don't know what happened here. Certainly not complaining though. He's a very good player at 18 and is listed as a wonderkid. Will rotate in and out.

Jonjo Shelvey (Loan)

He's quite a good player but those PPMs are awful! He's still got three star ability though so he'll be able to play a part in the squad and will mainly provide squad depth. His passing and vision are the best we have so he may be able to make that AMC spot his if he can beat Lanzini and Nyman.

José Matias

Has some tidy attributes for someone of his age. Get the passing up to around 14-15 and he'll be set to play a part in the squad. He comes in on a free so we've nothing to lose by signing him. Could become a quality player if we train him right.

Mpusana Gumede

Good luck with that one, English commentators. Gumede comes in in the cheap and has some very good technicals to boast. Not a particularly fast player but very strong and has good jumping reach. Composure needs a bit of work  as does his speed but overall, he looks quite promising.

Tin Jedvaj

Leverkusen were eager to offload Jedvaj and had him listed at a fairly low price. We took full advantage and snapped him up. Great technicals except for his heading. Physicals are solid if not spectacular and I can't complain about his mentals except for his concentration. Will be first choice though his partner is unknown with Veltman, Ogbonna, Tuanzebe and Oxford all looking capable.

Patrik Nyman

Not much to say about Nyman that you don't already know from last season. He returns to us this season with slightly better passing and vision. Will likely be our starting AMC and seems quite well-rounded. In my good books for his brace against Southampton last season.

Axel Tuanzebe

We abuse the Bosman rules once again to bring in the former Manchester United defender. He'll be part of a rotation system but will see his fair share of matches. He's solid, he's home-grown, he's experienced and he's young. I really like this deal.

Junior Tavares

Our second Tavares, Junior comes in after being listed by Benfica. His tackling is pretty awful so Cresswell will be first choice but he's good at everything else. Good crossing, decent pace and solid mentals are the main reasons I've gone for him. He's a good back-up option for us to have.

Moussa Dembele

You could nearly make an XI out of players I wanted at Southampton and signed at West Ham! Dembele would be part of that XI as he joins from Newcastle. They let him go for relatively cheap given they were selling to a divisional rival. The reason being they poached Dolberg for ~£55M. He'll rotate with Hernandez as both are quality strikers. Hernandez isn't getting any younger though and that's why I've signed Dembele this season. Also, our backups were ****. Dembele is very well-rounded and has been in great preseason form so I'm excited for him.

 

I know I've yet to show you Dale Cowley and Fabio Martins but Gyazo is acting up and it's not allowing me to get screenshots of them. I'll show you them as soon as it starts working again. I'll also show you our tactics (they're the ones we used last season too). I haven't shown Yuri or Maicon because I signed them last season but they just joined this season and you've seen them already from last January. They've both been loaned out to Celtic. 

[BoxToBox]

Tuanzebe on a free...

Geebus.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Finally, Gyazo is working as normal. So, the final two:

Dale Cowley

We've signed a former Southampton player! Dale Cowley came in through the academy while I was there and constantly featured in training reports for having improved. His attributes are alright but it was his attitude that made him stand out to me. He's tidy enough and could hit Premier League standard if he improves his tackling. If not, that's fine. He cost nothing.

Fabio Martins

Meet our new inside forward who'll replace Sinclair in the first XI. Sinclair didn't impress last season though has done well in preseason. Still, Martins is the better player and will be first choice. He's fast, good at dribbling and decent at crossing. Nice work rate too. He looks quite solid and I think he'll give us what we need on the left flank.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

Tuanzebe on a free...

Geebus.

Very surprising that they didn't try to renew. He was out on loan last season at Watford so he was probably surplus to requirements.

[BoxToBox]

2 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Very surprising that they didn't try to renew. He was out on loan last season at Watford so he was probably surplus to requirements.

Probably spent 60m on some foreign backup CB.....

I love Tuanzebe in FM though, quick, clever, physical beast and can play multiple positions. Worth his weight in gold, especially if you're playing as Man Utd where he's club grown.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

35 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Probably spent 60m on some foreign backup CB.....

I love Tuanzebe in FM though, quick, clever, physical beast and can play multiple positions. Worth his weight in gold, especially if you're playing as Man Utd where he's club grown.

Probably 

I've a feeling I'll really like Tuanzebe. He's home grown which is great for registration and as you said, he's just very well-rounded. Looks reliable which I really like in a defender.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

A very good preseason though obviously the quality (or lack thereof) of the competition needs to be taken into account. 7-1 against Austria Wien was probably the pick of the results. They're a decent side and I didn't expect to bury them like that. The rest is fairly expected though. The 10-0 was against a half a star reputation team so I won't get too excited. That is the new highest score I've gotten in FM though.

Andries Jonker was the one who managed the friendlies (albeit with King's team selection and tactics) so he can take most of the credit. Or at least that's what he argues anyway.

[john1]

Decent signings  I like the look of the José Tavares  

[noikeee]

Portugal taking over West Ham. I like that.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

14 hours ago, john1 said:

Decent signings  I like the look of the José Tavares  

Thanks. I feel optimistic about this season after that transfer window. We've got great squad depth and we've made some good additions. I agree about Tavares, he looks immense. And he's on the 8 year slave contract as well...

2 hours ago, noikeee said:

Portugal taking over West Ham. I like that.

We'll end up renamed “Presunto Oeste” (thanks Google Translate) by 2025 at this rate.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

These are he tactics we'll be using this season. Against bigger teams, it'll drop to a 4-4-1-1 and the IF will become an IW. We'll also play on the counter with the 4-4-1-1. The side there is hypothetical, not necessarily our starting XI.

[Bitner]

On 26/01/2018 at 11:28, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

Thanks. I feel optimistic about this season after that transfer window. We've got great squad depth and we've made some good additions. I agree about Tavares, he looks immense. And he's on the 8 year slave contract as well...

We'll end up renamed “Presunto Oeste” (thanks Google Translate) by 2025 at this rate.

Presunto do Oeste is a more accurate translation. Source: i'm Brazilian!

Cheers,
Bitner 

Edited January 28, 2018 by Bitner

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

6 hours ago, Bitner said:

Presunto do Oeste is a more accurate translation. Source: i'm Brazilian!

Cheers,
Bitner 

Cheers Bitner. They do say Google Translate is bad for phrases and sentences and should really be used for individual words. Presunto do Oeste really has a ring to it. Presunto do Oeste, Presunto do Oeste...

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

10th August, 2021

Towards the end of April, Michael had been told that he thought too much about football and that he needed a distraction by Andries Jonker. And he had found one. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't by choice and it wasn't a woman like Andries had had in mind. Instead, Michael had found his number one fan.

His name was Joel. He was a lanky man in his late 20s, maybe early 30s with plain features and slicked-up black hair who was a diehard West Ham fan. Michael had met him when he had gone into the city for a meal two days ago. Joel had approached him when he was eating and asked for a photo and autograph. Michael obliged without giving him a second thought, though he had noted he seemed more excited than most fans. The high-pitched scream of excitement, for example, was not something that normally happened. Somewhat unnervingly, Michael had found him waiting for him when he had finished his meal some 40 minutes later. He walked with Michael back to his car and introduced himself as Joel, proclaiming himself to be both West Ham and Michael's biggest fan. Michael discovered that Joel had friend requested him on his private Facebook and Twitter account used for interacting with close friends and family. He tried to keep that hidden from the public by using the most obscure pseudonym he could, Tryantafyllos Karagiannis. But still, Joel had found him. Michael was worried that this super fan might turn out to be a bit of a stalker. He decided to call the previous manager to see if he'd had any previous experience with Joel. The previous Hammers boss was Claudio Ranieri who currently managed Inter Milan.

“Hello?”

“Hi Claudio, it's Michael.”

“Michael...?”

“Michael King.” Silence in the other end. Michael sighed. “As in the current West Ham manager.”

“Oh! Haha. Sorry, Michael, I should've recognised you. Congratulations on the league campaign by the way. A top half finish was a very good start for you. Things seem to be going well.

“Yeah..  I suppose. At least on the pitch anyway. Off the pitch, it's a bit more complicated.”

“Hahaha. Let me guess. Joel? He's at you already?”

Michael was dumbstruck. “How did you-”

Claudio cut across him. “Everyone who's managed West Ham for the past ten years will know about Joel. He's an avid West Ham fan but he's really weird. He gets obsessed over whoever's managing them. He did it to me as well. Probably got some mental issue. I'm surprised no one told you about him.”

“So what do I do?”

“Well I don't know. Why do you think I left?”

Michael froze slightly. “I thought you left for the Inter job.”

“There was no guarantee that I'd get it though. Why else do you think I'd leave a job where I'm paid Premier League wages, have a good squad and a board with low expectations? He's a strange man, Michael. Might be harmless and just weird or... Well, he also mightn't be.”

“Alright, cheers Claudio.” Michael hung up and sank back into his chair. Why him? He'd found a good job after getting screwed over at Southampton. He was enjoying it. The squad was good, the board were generous and the facilities were excellent. He thought he'd found a perfect club. And now he had a fan on his hands who may just be harmless and overenthusiastic but also could be completely crazy. Michael knew that with the first match of the season descending on him, he couldn't afford to dwell on Joel. All he could do right now was sigh, lean back in his chair and say “S***”.

[ManUtd1]

Loving all the narrative in here, and the progress is fantastic.  Joel is a bad egg, though...that slicked back hair and high-pitched scream were flashing red warning signs...

[Adonalsium]

That rabid fan is giving me the creeps. Does Joel own a face-mask, too?

Edited January 29, 2018 by Adonalsium

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

11 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Loving all the narrative in here, and the progress is fantastic.  Joel is a bad egg, though...that slicked back hair and high-pitched scream were flashing red warning signs...

Cheers mate.

As for Joel, pretty much everything about him is a red flag. He's a strange, strange man. I like the Travolta gif by the way. 

2 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

That rabid fan is giving me the creeps. Does Joel own a face-mask, too?

I wouldn't put it past him. Rumour has it that he has the DNA of every West Ham manager and player since 2012 in the hopes that one day he'll clone them. God only knows what he'd inflict on the Payet clone...

[BoxToBox]

1 hour ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

God only knows what he'd inflict on the Payet clone...

The worst hell of all.

Force him to play for West Ham.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

2 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

The worst hell of all.

Force him to play for West Ham.

Well played.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

August Update:

I really couldn't have asked for much more.

Wolves (A): G. Javier Hernandez, Fabio Martins, Scott Sinclair (Pen) and Moussa Dembele  A. José Tavares (2), Fabio Martins

I know it's a cliche but this really was a game of two halves. We looked like the newly promoted team in the first half. They were all over us and we barely had a shot on goal. Antonio in particular was awful, getting dispossessed every time and they took the lead on 31' from a free kick. Martins went to the right flank at half time and Sinclair replaced Antonio and went to the left wing. Hernandez blasted home the equaliser on 65' when wonderkid Tavares played him in. Tavares then assisted Fabio Martins who got a debut goal on 70'. We then earned a penalty which Sinclair converted before Dembele got himself a debut goal to wrap up the win on 85' after a lovely cross from Martins. Great debuts all round for Tavares, Martins and Dembele.

Arsenal (H):

I know I say this a lot when we draw against big sides but we deserved to win this. We had the better of the game and had a golden chance on 20' when Martins crossed for Dembele who only had to tap home from two yards. But he hit it straight at Cech. The rest of the game was uneventful but I'll take a draw all day long. A deserved point and one where we could've got more.

Barnet (A): G. Moussa Dembele (2), Joel Veltman  A. Jonjo Shelvey, Manuel Lanzini, Scott Sinclair

Carabao Cup so Jonker handled this one. Dembele put the shocker of a game he had last time behind him to bag a brace. Shelvey got himself a debut assist which was nice while Lanzini proved that he's also effective on the wings as he chipped in with an assist from the right. Huddersfield next round.

Southampton (A): G. Javier Hernandez, Patrik Nyman  A. Patrik Nyman, Javier Hernandez

Waheeeeyyy! That's two from two against my old club and both were away from home. We controlled this one and never looked like losing. We started brightly and made the pressure tell early when Nyman found Hernandez inside the box and he blasted it into the roof of the net from a slightly right angle. Then, on 41', a Martins cross was intercepted by Nkoulou who was dispossessed swiftly by Hernandez. He squared to Nyman who thundered it home past Forster for two. Great result though it had to be noted that Fabio Martins was really awful (6.3) which was disappointing given his first two games.

Key Points:

• A very good month and we're playing some lovely football.

• Tavares has been great despite his young age. Dembele had been fairly good while Martins had been great except for the Southampton game. All in all, the newcomers have started well. Jedvaj and Tuanzebe have been solid in the games they've played too.

• Hernandez will be vital to us this season.

• We have to avoid playing like we did in the first half vs Wolves. If we play like we did in the second half though, the sky's the limit.

League Table:

Us in the top four? City in mid-table? Just end the season now.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Some strange results this month.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

Sinclair injured too. Thankfully Lanzini can play winger but if he gets injured, we're in trouble.

[BoxToBox]

Anyone in the youth teams that could step up for a few months?

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

54 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Anyone in the youth teams that could step up for a few months?

We have one decent Tunisian regen called Nefzi but he's a left winger. As we play a right winger and a left IF, this would mean we'd have to change tactics slightly. As I said, Lanzini can play on the wing and Dembele can play as IF (but that leaves us very reliant on Hernandez's fitness up front) so we'll probably be fine. As long as no one gets injured before Sinclair returns. Sinclair's injury is a worry for us in terms of squad depth but Martins's injury is annoying because he was showing a lot of promise.

[BoxToBox]

2 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

We have one decent Tunisian regen called Nefzi but he's a left winger. As we play a right winger and a left IF, this would mean we'd have to change tactics slightly. As I said, Lanzini can play on the wing and Dembele can play as IF (but that leaves us very reliant on Hernandez's fitness up front) so we'll probably be fine. As long as no one gets injured before Sinclair returns. Sinclair's injury is a worry for us in terms of squad depth but Martins's injury is annoying because he was showing a lot of promise.

Chuck him on the bench, then when a game pops up where you're comfortable(or already screwed) with about 20-30 minutes to go, chuck him on, as a left inside forward(or right winger if he can play there), see what happens, he may be capable despite footedness.

[john1]

Awesome August month  Nice to get one over your former team \o/

[DavidBeckham]

Awesome in getting two away wins in the league. Always found it tough grinding out those away wins and you did it comfortably. Good luck for the season ahead mate! 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

17 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Chuck him on the bench, then when a game pops up where you're comfortable(or already screwed) with about 20-30 minutes to go, chuck him on, as a left inside forward(or right winger if he can play there), see what happens, he may be capable despite footedness.

Haksabonovic was my bench winger of choice but Sinclair has returned to fitness in late September so we're fine now again. Cheers for the suggestion though. Had Haksabonovic got injured, I'd have done that.

16 hours ago, john1 said:

Awesome August month  Nice to get one over your former team \o/

Cheers John. It was great to be Southampton for the second game in a row.

4 hours ago, DavidBeckham said:

Awesome in getting two away wins in the league. Always found it tough grinding out those away wins and you did it comfortably. Good luck for the season ahead mate! 

Cheers!

It was great to get those wins because I really don't like playing away. I'd have to say that the match against Wolves was one we should've been winning anyway but the Southampton result was great to get.

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

September Update:

Again, I really can't complain about this. Very good so far.

Spurs (H): G. José Tavares  A. Javier Hernandez

I didn't expect any points out of this but we got all three! It was a late goal that won us it as the wonderkid Tavares slotted home on 85'. We deserved it too as we enjoyed the better of the game despite playing on the counter. Kane, who had been in fine form prior to this was held to a blank as Jedvaj and Tuanzebe paired for the first time. Two great performances from them saw us claim our win. Three points when I expected none is something I'll take happily. Very good performance from us.

Burnley (A): G. Javier Hernandez  A. Michail Antonio

This was quite a bittersweet result. I'd have taken a draw coming into this match as Burnley were 7th at the time and we were away. The game was pretty even and I have to say a draw was fair. But it was gutting! We conceded in the 95th minute! An absolute punch in the gut because we had been holding onto our 1-0 so well, we weren't giving up many chances and we were getting forward occasionally, threatening a second goal. Overall though, I'll take it. Decent result.

Huddersfield (H): G. Jonjo Shelvey (Pen), Claud Adjapong  A. Junior Tavares

You know the drill at this stage. Carabao Cup so Jonker dealt with it. We recorded a satisfying if not expected result against Huddersfield with Shelvey taking his tally to two from two in the Carabao Cup. Surprisingly, right back Claud Adjapong found himself on the scoresheet as he got the winner for us. Tavares continued his bright start for someone of his age as he charted an assist for Adjapong's goal. We face United in the next round. Gulp.

Huddersfield (H): G. Scott Sinclair, Javier Hernandez (3)  A. Claud Adjapong (2), Aaron Cresswell, Manuel Lanzini

Annnnnd Huddersfield again. This time, however, it was much more convincing. Hernandez continued his spectacular form with a hat trick to bury Huddersfield after Sinclair headed home the opener from Adjapong's cross. The two full backs deserve credit for this as well as both of them managed to notch assists with Adjapong getting two. We dominated the match and deserved this scoreline. Truly a great way to end the month.

Key Points:

• Hernandez got injured after the final game of this month meaning that he will miss half of next month.
• We will get destroyed next month. I know that's pessimistic but we're gonna be facing Newcastle (tycoon-powered and got the likes of Dolberg, Ceballos etc), Chelsea, Palace (easy enough), United in the cup and then Liverpool. Morale will be significantly lower at the end of October.
• Hernandez has been incredibly good.
• Tavares is showing his potential and will hopefully grow into a magical playmaker.
• Winks is continuing to be the unsung hero who doesn't get many goals/assists but is very consistent.

 

League Table:

END. THE. SEASON. NOW.

Lol @ Southampton by the way.

[john1]

Decent so far  Hopefully you won't suffer badly next month