Robber Barons of the Côte d'Azur -Chronicles from the Dark Underbelly of French Football

[cantonaisgod]

Great story, and a belated congrats on getting Story of the Week .

Much deserved, KUTGW, I'll be reading

[OMDave]

Thanks canto, much appreciated coming from a previous incumbent...

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) – dated 1st September 2003.

Just back from a quick gnocchi alla marinara, round the corner at Marco’s. Always does the trick nicely after a long day, along with a cheap but very fine little red from the Arezzo, a drop of Marco’s homemade grappa and the best double espresso this side of the Alps. Christian Lopez came into my office after training, suggesting we have a chat over a meal, so I abandoned the notes I’d been jotting down and clutched gratefully at the prospect of an early night in after a good plate of pasta.

Mostly we discussed features of the last couple of games, and in particular the various possible partnerships between centre-backs, because despite the excellent results we were letting in quite a few goals, and it was an obvious area to focus on for improvement. Vargas and Dika have done well, and in Charvet and Tournut we know we have a useful mixture of experience and youth in the cover provided, but we’re too vulnerable in the air and it could have cost us points in games we had thoroughly dominated. Christian’s become one of my two strong allies at the club, along with Big Mike –to be fair, I should add Bernadette, who never lacks a kind word, but she has little or no contact with most of the players, and that’s where I need support the most aside from relations with the fans. Attendances are still disappointing, given the extent of our success, but I’m well aware this is something which will take time, and it gives me an opportunity to get to know some of the supporters as people –there’s a bunch that often turn up to watch training, and I ended up scoring some excellent home-grown from one of them, a fifty-two-year-old baker looking for ways to alleviate his boredom since he passed on the family business to his eldest daughter.

Anyway, we seem to see eye-to-eye on most things with Christian, which I take as an encouraging sign, and it no longer feels as though every game could be the one to justify the sack, as though I’m just a pawn in an elaborate chess game being played out way over my head. Not that dinner and drinks with Bébert a week ago reassured me in that respect…

It struck me as a little strange that the first thing he asked me about the club was how our Brazilian gem, Toledo Robson, was doing. When I told him he’d played a big part in most of our wins, he just nodded faintly, smiling to himself and clearly giving me the impression I’d missed a few episodes of that particular show…It annoyed me, too, because he’d insisted I should ask no questions and yet couldn’t help suggesting he was the recipient of a deep and hidden knowledge, too convoluted for me to fathom. But as usual I let it go, resolving nonetheless to store the allusion away for ulterior examination.

Other than that Bébert was very pleasant, embarrassing even when he began to praise my tactical ability, refusing any suggestion the players may actually have played the bigger part in our performances. In fact, he was a little too eager to heap all the credit upon me, and again I was so mystified as to his motives that I hardly gave it a second thought on the moment, other than to keep my ego in check and keep smiling. I hated having to do that with my own uncle, but I’ve now reached a point where I would do almost anything to be allowed to continue this incredible experience, and I just know there are things going on around the club, big things –the kind that attract both the sheep and the sharks, and in this little microcosm there’s plenty of both…

On a lighter note, one of the journos from the local ‘radical’ paper dubbed me the ‘local personality of the week’, with half-page caricature and all, and listed a number of facts about me that I doubted anyone knew, most of them quite embarrassing or deprecatory without really crossing the line of character assassination…The players gave me hell the next day, few of them able to stay serious more than five minutes at a stretch. In the end I took the afternoon off, leaving Christian in charge with instructions to ‘deal with the little kiddies because I have some grown-up things to attend to’…Not too mature a reaction, true, but there’s one thing I want to avoid at all costs with the players and staff, and that’s losing my temper. I gave the hack a call, suggesting we discuss his ‘work’ over a few pints that evening, and to my astonishment he agreed without hesitation. He was already there when I got to the pub, a fair approximation of the smug, conceited geek I had imagined –little round glasses and all…I sat down determined to make sure he’d never so much as mention my name in print again, but then he turned to the barkeep and ordered two pints of Leffe Radieuse. By the end of the evening I had a new, much-needed friend in this ghastly town, and had taken out a lifelong subscription to ‘Le Petit Rapporteur’…Weird the way things turn out sometimes…

[OMDave]

It's been a nice week, not having to scroll down for ages to post a new instalment... Thanks again to those who thought the story deserved to be put in the spotlight a little while, I hope one of the new Challenge stories features tomorrow, as there's lots of good stuff going on there...You can just feel all that pent-up Tolkienesque energy waiting to be unleashed...

GAME REPORTS (Source: Football365.fr - National updates section)

6th September 2003, La Bocca (att. 2541).

AS Cannes 7, FC Tours 0.

4. Zoko sends in a corner from the left side, and near the penalty spot Diawara rises higher than his marker, hitting a firm header into the top right-hand corner. 1-0.

10. Low, powerful strike by Zoko from 25 yards, parried by the keeper into Magallanes' path. The Uruguayan sidefoots it in calmly. 2-0.

19. Mutiu wins a header which sends El Kadouri down the left wing on his own. Great cross to the penalty spot, Toledo's header finds the opposite corner of the goal. 3-0.

27. Toledo is pushed over in the box as he is about to shoot. Magallanes converts the penalty. 4-0.

36. Torres Mestre plays El Kadouri through into the box from the left, and the first-time cutback finds Toledo running onto the ball. He smashes his second into the net past the helpless keeper. 5-0.

59. Diawara finds Toledo near the right by-line, who cuts into the box and beats two players before sending a superb strike into the top left-hand corner for his hat-trick. 6-0.

76. Mutiu strides clear down the left and cuts back inside to shoot. The keeper parries it but Mutiu gets a second chance which he puts away with aplomb. 7-0.

A dazzling performance from Brazilian Toledo Robson, who got a standing ovation when he had to leave the pitch -sadly- after being hacked down one too many times. Cannes' sixth win in as many league games sees them extend their lead at the top to five points.

13th September 2003, Stade Francis le Blé (att. 3688).

Brest 1, AS Cannes 1.

10. Moustaïd skips past two players down the right wing and crosses for Zoko, whose header crashes against the post. Magallanes is on hand to score a simple tap-in off the rebound. 0-1.

65. David's shot from the left side of the box is boxed away by Filimonov, but Bogaczyk is ideally placed to head the ball straight into the goal. 1-1.

A tense, bad-tempered game with five yellow cards distributed, and only five shots at goal for either side. A draw was a fair reflection of proceedings, a game made difficult by the poor conditions and Cannes' newfound status as the scourge of National defences. Louhans-Cuiseaux take second place and close the gap to three points at the top of the table.

[OMDave]

Game reports and team news (Source: ‘Bocca Vera’ fanzine, issues #943, 944 and 945)

2Oth September 2003.

AS Cannes v. Bourg-Péronnas, La Bocca (att. 2762).

As in each of their home games in the National so far, Cannes dominated the play from beginning to end, imposing their rhythm on the opposition and alternating unpredictably between short, sharp passing and long balls into the spaces behind the defence. On this occasion, however, they were not able to kill the game early on, and in the end the visitors snatched an unlikely draw from the jaws of defeat, despite having only three shots on goal in the entire game. A very disappointing result for Cannes, given their twenty-one efforts on Bourg-Péronnas’ goal, defended admirably –and credit is due- by man-of-the-match Pansier.

Eighteen minutes into the game a free-kick was rolled on for Magallanes, whose strike from twenty yards was deflected past his own keeper by Teillet, but six minutes from the end of normal time Teillet made amends by playing a great through-ball for Lavand, who slipped past Vargas and beautifully lobbed the onrushing Filimonov. One-all was the final score despite a very tense last few minutes for the visitors, and in particular for goalkeeper Pansier, who made three outstanding saves to deny Cannes a late winner.

To make matters worse, Suleiman Mohammed strained his groin yet again, and it was announced later he will be spending four weeks in rehabilitation to properly treat the recurrent injury. Laurent Mohrellebi is expected to stand in for him in the anchor role over the next month or so.

AS Cannes 1, Bourg-Péronnas 1.

Goals: Magallanes (1-0, 18), Lavand (1-1, 84).

Team: Filimonov © – Diawara, Vargas, Dika, Torres Mestre – Mohammed – Moustaïd, Magallanes, El Kadouri – Inkango (sub 65), Mutiu.

Subs: Zoko (on 65). Not used: Padovani, Tournut, Mohellebi, Dembelé.

27th September 2003.

Beauvais v. AS Cannes, Stade Pierre Brisson (att. 4568).

Lying in tenth spot in the table, Beauvais played host to the National’s leaders, hoping to bring about their first defeat of the season in the league. But although the game was evenly-matched for the first twenty minutes, with chances being created by both sides, Cannes went ahead after 21 minutes when Diawara was pushed in the back as he jumped to meet Moustaïd’s corner. The same Moustaïd, Cannes’ ‘Mr. Penalty’, sidefooted the spot-kick out of the keeper’s reach to make it one-nil to the visitors. Eight minutes later Cannes doubled their lead when Toledo’s glancing header from nine yards out found the net. Cannes looked increasingly in control, and went in at half-time with a solid two-goal advantage.

Four minutes into the second-half the game was decided once and for all, a knock-down by Mutiu finding Magallanes, who sent Toledo clean through to slot it in neatly with a low shot to the keeper’s right. Beauvais pushed a little harder, but any hopes of a comeback were dashed when Touré injured himself on 69 minutes, at a time when Beauvais had already used their three substitutions. They hung on grimly with ten men, and to their credit managed to prevent the scoreline from getting any heavier, which would have been very unfair on them.

There was no question that Cannes were the better team, though, and Toledo’s performance earned him a fair amount of praise in the national press. At the top of the table, a single point separates Cannes from their closest challengers, Louhans-Cuiseaux. Three teams are tied for third with a five-point deficit on the Mediterraneans: Valenciennes, Angoulême and Brest.

Beauvais 0, AS Cannes 3.

Goals: Moustaïd (0-1, 21), Toledo (0-2, 29; 0-3, 49).

Team: Filimonov © – Diawara, Vargas, Dika, Torres Mestre – Mohellebi – Moustaïd, Magallanes, El Kadouri – Toledo, Mutiu.

Subs (none used): Padovani, Tournut, Emanuelson, Dembelé, Zoko.

4th October 2003.

AS Cannes v. Valenciennes, La Bocca (att. 2531).

This was as one-sided a game as any of Cannes’ more spectacular wins, and left the onlooker wondering how Valenciennes had contrived to drag themselves up to third in the National prior to this fixture. Aleksandr Filimonov had only one save to make in the entire ninety minutes, whereas his team-mates created the usual glut of chances they seem able to produce when playing a home fixture.

Cannes were obviously intent on dispensing with the customary observation round, and had a couple of chances before Magallanes grabbed a lucky opener after ten minutes of play. Mohellebi had released Moustaïd down the right, and the winger’s cross was met by Magallanes’ forehead near the penalty spot, seemingly straight at the keeper, but the latter fumbled the save and the ball trickled in cruelly. Six minutes later another blow was struck as Magallanes was rashly brought down in the box. Moustaïd stepped up and blasted the penalty into the top right-hand corner. Five minutes from half-time Moustaïd curled a beautiful free-kick into the same top corner, from twenty-five yards or so. Valenciennes were well and truly broken by then, as was obvious two minutes later when a poor pass was intercepted by El Kadouri, who took it down the left touchline and played a superb whipped ball into the path of Toledo, who easily beat the keeper from ten yards. Four-up at half-time, it looked like another thrashing, but the score did not change any further despite the sustained pressure imposed by the home team.

Moustaïd was the best player on the field with his two goals and one assist, with Diawara and Magallanes also putting in excellent performances. With Louhans-Cuiseaux only managing a draw away to Raon-l’Etape, Cannes are now three points clear at the top after ten games in the National. Aleksandr Filimonov was called up to join the Russian national squad on the same day, and was visibly delighted with the news, which a group of fans celebrated by unrolling a large Russian flag just before the game, a gesture the keeper acknowledged by running over to their corner and performing an elaborate courtly bow.

AS Cannes 4, Valenciennes 0.

Goals: Magallanes (1-0, 10), Moustaïd (2-0, pen 16; 3-0, 40), Toledo (4-0, 42).

Team: Filimonov © – Diawara, Vargas, Dika (sub 55), Torres Mestre – Mohellebi – Moustaïd, Magallanes, El Kadouri (sub 55) – Toledo, Mutiu.

Subs: Tournut (on 55), Zoko (on 55). Not used: Padovani, Emanuelson, Dembelé.

[AlexisManson]

Good job brother! KUTGW look forward to following this story

[SI]

Is this story dead or is omdave just bust trying to track down c*ntlina?

[SI]

*busy

[OMDave]

Thanks Alex. The story isn't dead exactly, SI, but I've been away from home for a fortnight and won't be back for another week, hence the long pause.

I've now come to terms with the defeat, but then again Collina's globulous eyes would make a fine trophy on the mantelpiece... ...Anyway, here's something I wrote on a train somewhere between Béziers and Carcassonne...

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -dated 1st October 2003.

Gave myself the afternoon off today, after a rough night in which I learnt that our star player is probably subject to some serious mental disorders. I'm getting a very uneasy feeling about what happened, which has nothing to do with adverse publicity, or having a potential lunatic at the heart of the squad we've been building. But the more I think about it, the less clearly I understand...

Around eleven last night, just as I was beginning to drift off in front of some dubious Eurosport feature on the box, the phone rang. When the guy at the other end of the line introduced himself as 'Gendarme Bertuzzi', the sweat on my forehead turned to ice, and I thought: "that's it, I've been ratted on by some guy who knows I have a taste for weed, here ends my carreer as a football manager".

But then he said one of my players was held at the Saint-Paul gendarmerie, that he was in a bad way and that he'd given my name when asked who should be called. I said I'd be right over, called Christian Lopez and he picked me up by the stadium before we rushed over to find out what the hell was going on. In the car we tried to guess who the player was, and Christian leant towards Garba Lawal: "he's been seen hanging around some real dives in town, and he's got a mean temper on him. I wouldn't be surprised...". To me that seemed a little harsh, but I was forced to admit I knew very little about most of the players beyond what they showed at training. The more I thought about it, the more Lawal seemed to fit the part.

But at the gendarmerie we were in for a shock. The guy at the front desk, a middle-aged, barrel-shaped Jospin lookalike, led us to the holding cells, where we beheld in a heap the last player we would have expected to find here, Toledo Róbson, so soft-spoken and meek around the other players, a young man who seemed not to have changed much from the child he must have been, born to a couple of poor farmers in a remote corner of rural Brazil.

At this point a senior investigator appeared, a short, dark man thin to the point where it suggested illness, flanked by a younger, taller gendarme who otherwise displayed a remarkable resemblance to his probable superior's chiselled, angular features. The older of the two held out his hand.

- "Capitaine Grégoire Bertuzzi, I'm in charge here at Saint-Paul. This is my brother, Sous-Lieutenant Stéphane Bertuzzi, who is leading the investigation and who called you earlier." We all shook hands, and were then led to the captain's office while a gendarme attempted to revive Toledo.

- "What happened?" I asked as soon as we were seated. Capitaine Bertuzzi raised an eyebrow, looked at his brother, then sighed and placed both hands on the desk in front of them, crossing the fingers in a pose clearly intended to suggest patience.

- "Monsieur Le Spliff, before we get down to the sorry business at hand, I'd like to say that my brother and I, as well as most of the gendarmes here in Cannes, are lifelong fans of the club. And we're all delighted by the way the team has been playing this year. We understand that some of these young men are a little...high-spirited, shall we say? Over the years we've seen a lot of this kind of thing, and I'd like to reassure you that the press need not know about it."

- "That's very kind, capitaine, and of course we'd like to avoid this getting out..." I looked over to Christian, who obviously agreed.

- "Then it's settled" Bertuzzi said, glancing at a sheet of typewritten paper next to his left elbow. "And now to the senhor Robson; he was found fourty minutes ago in a room at the...Bristol hotel, passed out and reeking of alcohol. The hotel rang to report a disturbance in one of the rooms, the other clients all stated they heard screams and furniture being destroyed, but when our lads got there he was on his own, in a pool of his own vomit, in the middle of a wrecked room. The recpetionist didn't see anyone going up with him, and no-one seems certain whether there was one or several voices heard. In any case the TV was thrown out the window, the closets ripped apart and one of the beds broken in two." He paused to observe our reactions.

"You seem surprised. Would you say this is out of character for him?"

- "Completely" I replied. "He wouldn't hurt a fly, and as far as I know he never drinks."

- "I see. We are still waiting for the toxicology report, in any case, but we found no marks on him, of beating or otherwise."

- "'Or otherwise'?"

- "Needles and such."

- "Oh."

And so it was in a depressed mood that Christian and I took Toledo back, after the Bertuzzi brothers had assured us they'd be in touch if anything new came up. The doctor who'd examined him was still there, and he told us to let the player rest a day or two. He was barely conscious in the car on the way back, and Christian and I decided not to ask him any questions until he was properly rested. Also, since we felt we couldn't leave him on his own, and given that my place was so small, Christian said he'd bring him back to his house, that it might do the lad good to spend a little time in a family environment. Given the situation, I wasn't going to disagree with that...

Christian dropped me off, leaving me with a host of unanswered questions, which only got worse once I was upstairs and toking away. Thankfully I was so tired by then that I fell asleep on my couch, fully clothed, and even made it late to training the next morning as I'd forgotten to set the alarm-clock. But none of the other players seemed to think anything amiss, and as far as anyone but myself, Christian and the Bertuzzi brothers know (or at least, so I hope), Toledo is in bed with a bad cold and will be back in time for our next game.

As for me, I am more than ever determined to find some way of getting Oncle Bébert to explain a few things, without having to break my word and ask him outright. I am also trying to work out how to ask Toledo what happened, because his well-being is as important to the team's continued success as is my tactical scheme, and I can't kid myself into thinking otherwise without seriously compromising our push for promotion...

Still -qui vivra, verra...

[Tyrone the Magazine]

can't believe i haven't seen this till now, caught up with it all. Excellent stuff, you are a fine writer Dave. I only wish Newcastle were as good at football

[OMDave]

That's very kind, Tyrone. 'Scribbler' would be more accurate Few people have time to follow more than a handful of stories -I certainly don't, unfortunately...On the evidence of the game at the Vélodrome, I'd agree that the Toons need to improve dramatically if they really intend to challenge for the Premiership -any truth in the rumours about Newcastle wanting Mido? We'd be happy to let him go for a reasonable fee, as he's a bit of a trouble-maker and has a hugely inflated ego...Just remember: the truly great clubs never die...

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -dated 2nd October 2003.

Went over to Christian's house this evening, and arrived amidst the usual friendly chaos. Hi wife Marie is a sculptress, and not much of a housekeeper it seems, though with four kids in the house it must be a nightmare to try and maintain some semblance of order.

Christian was expecting me, and after exchanging greetings with the tribe I followed him out into the garden. He handed me a glass of pastis.

- "Santé".

- "Slaoínte".

- "He'll be down in a few minutes. He slept most of the day...I didn't ask him anything yet." I got the distinct impression he wanted me to do it, and fair enough, it was part of my job.

I sipped at my drink and looked out towards the Mediterranean, a couple of miles away but clearly visible from the hillock upon which the house was built.

- "Fine spot you found yourself here."

- "It is. We bought the house from a couple of American pensioners who were moving to Tuscany."

- "Right."

Christian grinned at this, even though I had taken care to keep a neutral tone.

- "Cheer up David, and relax. Isn't my family entitled to a pleasant home? I've never conned anyone, let alone cashed in on the sweat and blood of others."

- "All of us, in this country, have and still do, like it or not. You don't have to run a sweatshop to be an exploiter -it's much more indirect than that, much more diffuse, much more...de-personalised. That's what makes it all so abject."

Christian gave me a weary smile, and suddenly I felt ashamed of myself, standing here in his garden sipping his pastis, lecturing him on the ethical absurdities of a de-regulated worldwide economy. I was about to apologize when Toledo appeared, looking even more shepish than usual. I resolved there and then to opt for a relatively soft approach, and get him to realize that what concerned us above all was his well-being.

He told us he felt fine, but that he couldn't remember anything about the previous evening, only that he'd gone to the bar at the Ambassadeur after training, to have one of those fresh fuit shakes they serve there. He remembered entering the hotel, ordering the shake and sitting in his usual corner, near the potted hydrangeas that remind him of his mother's garden in the barrio. The waiter had brought him the shake, he'd begun to read 'O Bola', and after that -nothing. Nothing at all. He'd awoken at the gendarmerie, and then only after copious amounts of water had been splashed onto his face. In between there was a black hole of about four hours.

The lad seems completely sincere to me -either that or he deserves an Oscar more than any Hollywood icon ever did. He also seems very worried, and Christian and I reassured him as best we could. I didn't mention anything about the Bertuzzi brothers and their investigation -it hardly seemed the appropriate time to do it, and besides we have an important home game coming up on Saturday against Valenciennes. Only a few months in the job, and I'm already behaving as cynically as the worst of them...

- "Do you feel up to coming to training tomorrow?" I asked him.

- "Of course!"

- "OK then. I'll see both of you tomorrow morning. Thanks for the pastis, Christian, make sure the lad gets plenty of sleep tonight."

- "He will. But aren't you staying for dinner? There's plenty to go round, and Marie is cooking rabbit stew."

- "That sounds great, but I've got a few things to sort out at home tonight."

And indeed I did...

[Tyrone the Magazine]

can't say i've heard anything about Mido, but if he's a trouble maker he should fit right in!

[OMDave]

Don't see Alan Shearer putting up with his kind of crap though -a good punch-up on the cards there, if he signs...

Game reports and team news (source: Football365.fr -National updates section).

11th October 2003, La Bocca (att. 2624).

AS Cannes 3, GFCO Ajaccio 0.

6. Moustaïd sends in a free-kick from the right, which finds Diawara unmarked in the box. His powerful volley beats the stranded keeper. 1-0.

26. Toledo runs into the box and is fouled as he is about to square it back from the byline. Moustaïd converts, though the keeper gets a touch. 2-0.

36. El Kadouri's cross finds Moustaïd, whose header is parried. The ball falls to Mutiu, who smashes it in from a difficult angle. 3-0.

Cannes were never troubled during the game, which they controlled from beginning to end. Ajaccio couldn't produce a single effort on goal, and looked like the bottom-of-the-table club they are. Moustaïd was man-of-the-match with his goal and two assists, with Diawara and Mutiu also putting in excellent performances capped by a goal each.

15th September 2003.

Suleiman Mohammed returns from physiotherapy after recurrent groin problems. The Nigerian resumes normal training, though not expected to feature in the next game.

18th October 2003, Stade Jules Ladoumègue (att. 1690).

Romorantin 0, AS Cannes 5.

9. Magallanes finds Mutiu down the left flank, where he drifted to evade his marker. He takes the ball into the box and shoots hard and low from fifteen yards. 0-1.

15. A corner from the right by Moustaïd is met by Mohellebi's header near the penalty spot. 0-2.

19. Charvet's long ball is knocked down by Mutiu into Toledo's path. The Brazilian beats two men but is forced to the right, however he sends in a pinpoint cross to Mutiu, who is left with a simple tap-in. 0-3.

31. Well-struck free-kick by Moustaïd from 25 yards out. The keeper parries but Magallanes pounces and scores on the rebound. 0-4.

67. Toledo streaks down the right on a fifty-yard run, cuts inside after beating two men and sends in a cross for Mutiu, whose diving header sails into the net. 0-5.

Romorantin's vulnerability down the flanks left them very exposed, particularly so in the first half, and good finishing by Cannes decided the outcome early on in the game. With this win Cannes retain the lead in the National, still followed closely by Louhans-Cuiseaux (3 pts away), though eight points clear of the rest of the pack.

25th October 2003, La Bocca (att. 2568).

AS Cannes 4, Wasquehal 1.

4. Dika plays a free-kick quickly for El Kadouri, who passes to Mutiu on the left of the penalty area. His cross finds Toledo by the penalty spot, and the latter meets it with a firm header. 1-0.

15. Toledo is played through by Magallanes, and blasts the ball into the top right-hand corner. 2-0.

17. Le Bris breaks down the left and plays Darchy into the box with space to spare. The curling strike is beyond Filimonov's reach. 2-1.

22. Moustaïd corner from the left. Toledo heads in from five yards out. 3-1.

26. Mutiu is brought down in the box, and Moustaïd cooly slots it into the top right-hand corner. 4-1.

A game which began at a frenetic pace, with all five goals scored inside of the first half-hour of play. The vast amounts of space in the backs of the Wasquehal centre-back were well exploited by Cannes' forwards. But then Wasquehal, 16th in the table, were never really expected to put up much of a fight, and despite a well-taken goal they displayed little or no intention to threaten Filimonov's goal.

[Tyrone the Magazine]

your not wrong there, shame is big al is pretty much finished, imo we need sum one to replace him now and rotate them until he hangs his boots up next summer

[OMDave]

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -entry dated 26th October 2003.

As the season progresses, it's becoming increasingly clear to everyone at the club that we have what it takes to compete at a higher level, and that barring long-term injuries to our best players, there is no reason to think we cannot win this year's National. And with the top three all promoted to the Ligue 2, I don' see how we could fail to achieve that...

But perhaps I am overly confident -three months ago I was convinced I wasn't up to the job, but this morning at the 'team brunch' we always have on the morning after a game, there were smiles all round and a lot of shoulder-clapping. Charly Loubet and I insisted on the fact that Wasquehal were lying 16th in the National, and that beating them at La Bocca was no heroic exploit, but it's our fifth win in a row and the lads are now fantasizing about a giant-beating run in one of the cups.

Suleiman Mohammed has come back into the team after his treatment for a recurrent groin injury -which he is now hopefully rid of. Laurent Mohellebi, our versatile supersub in the defensive positions, deputized very competently and I'm very glad we were able to sign the young man permanently. I have a feeling Monaco, from whom we'd initially loaned him, will come to rue their dismissal of the young man's ability.

I suppose the only cloud in this perfect sky is my concern for Toledo Róbson. I went several times to the hotel where he'd been found unconscious, but got nothing out of the staff, even when I offered a little financial encouragement. Capitaine Bertuzzi found out about this and was less than happy, warning me about the perils of an amateur doing a job fit only for professionals. He also grudgingly kept his promise to keep us up to speed with the investigation.

- "So far we're hitting a brick wall; the toxicology report revealed nothing. There weren't any marks to suggest anything was done to him, he's even got less insect bites than your average Cannois."

- "Does this mean you found nothing at all then?" I asked, a little impatiently.

- "Nothing gets past you son, eh?" he retorted sarcastically. "Keep an eye on the lad at your end, and you needn't worry -we'll be doing the same at ours."

- "That's very reassuring, Capitaine."

- "Cheer up, monsieur Le Spliff, the lad played a blinder again in your last game, didn't he? Whatever happened to him, it hasn't affected his game."

- "I suppose not...but he's just a kid, and a very nice one too, and I happen to take my responsibilities seriously."

- "No doubt. We all do. Don't torture yourself over this, and keep those victories coming."

- "That's really up to the players. But we're doing our best. Keep coming to the terraces, and bring some people with you -our attendances are shameful for a town this size."

- "Oh, we'll be there, like we always are with the lads from the gendarmerie, but you must remember that Cannes is not much like any other town. You'll get used to that."

- "Let's hope so. Thanks for calling anyway."

- "Always a pleasure to converse with you, monsieur. Goodbye."

- "Goodbye."

And so onward into November, which we hope will hold more of the same for us. Our next game is away to Angoulême, who are fifth and were amongst the pre-season favourites. My main aim is to maintain our unbeaten record, for as long as we can, and build up a handy points buffer between us and the teams lying below third place.

In the shorter term, my plans mostly include a six-pack of Leffe and a number of football shows, which Christian has kindly recorded for me as he owns a satellite dish. After all, it's Sunday...

[OMDave]

Game reports and team news (source: 'Bocca Vera!' fanzine, November issues).

1st November 2003, Stade Lebon (att. 4452).

Angoulême 0

AS Cannes 4

Goals: Mohammed (13, 0-1), Mutiu (17, 0-2), El Kadouri (56, 0-3), Toledo (63, 0-4).

Notes: Vargas sent off on 77 mins. Shots: Angoulême 1(1), AS Cannes 16(8).

A walk in the park for Cannes, who were expecting much stiffer opposition from a team lying fifth in the league. The visitors controlled the game from beginning to end with sharp, short passing moves. Angoulême's flanks were repeatedly pierced by Moustaïd and El Kadouri, while the home team seemed incapable of anything other than throwing long balls forward, a tactic easily coped with by Cannes' defence. Young Nigerian Suleiman Mohammed confirms his return to form with an excellent performance, cropping up all over the middle of the park to win the ball back and distribute. Winger Moustaïd just edged him out for man-of-the-match, though, his mazy runs a constant source of panic on the left side of Angoulême's defence.

8th November 2003, La Bocca (att. 2647).

AS Cannes 3

Stade Reims 0

Goals: Toledo (34, 1-0; 42, 2-0; 46, 3-0).

Notes: Dika sent off on 92 mins. Shots: AS Cannes 22(12), Stade Reims 2(0).

Another masterly display by Cannes, a clear demonstration of superior technique and tactical intelligence. Reims simply did not have the quality to cope, and mostly concerned themselves with letting in as few as possible. But Brazilian sensation Toledo Róbson, the day's hero, found the net three times and confirmed his position of best goalscorer in the National, with his tally now reaching 17 in 13 games played. This victory puts Cannes six points clear at the top, with an impressive 41 points out of a possible 45, and yet to be defeated in any competition this season.

13th November 2003.

Youssef Moustaïd strains his back in training and will be out for a week. Toledo will temporarily move out to the right wing, and Zoko will come into the first eleven in a striker's role alongside Mutiu.

The draw for the Seventh Round of the French Cup was made, with Cannes playing amateur side Evry at La Bocca on 22nd November 2003.

15th November 2003, Parc Municipal des Sports (att. 6351).

Dijon 0

AS Cannes 4

Goals: Mohammed (23, 0-1), Tournut (30, 0-2), Zoko (47, 0-3), Mutiu (54, 0-4).

Shots: Dijon 3(1), AS Cannes 25(13).

Playing away from home with an unusual pairing in central defence, with Charvet and Tournut replacing Vargas and Dika -both suspended after being sent off in successive games-, Cannes lost none of their usual serenity and control. Toledo put in another excellent display, this time on the right wing, and Suleiman Mohammed ran the midfield with his usual efficiency. Manager Le Spliff will be particularly pleased with how well the players who are not regulars fitted into the team's pattern, and Cannes will be looking to widen the gap at the top over the next few weeks.

17th November 2003.

Djibril Diawara damages his shoulder in training and will be out for two weeks. Laurent Charvet will see more first-team action, and young Thibault Courtel joins the group as cover for the right-back spot, after putting in some decent performances with the reserves.

22nd November 2003, La Bocca (att. 3393). (French Cup Seventh Round)

AS Cannes (Nat.) 2

Evry (Amateur) 0

Goals: Toledo (26, 1-0), Magallanes (77, 2-0).

Shots: AS Cannes 17(8), Evry 0(0).

Despite lacklustre finishing, Cannes progress to the next round with no difficulty, their opponents incapable of creating a single chance against a team that contained few of its usual first-choice players. Dembelé made a good impression on the right of the Cannes midfield, with Toledo running the show up front and Vargas impeccable at the back.

[Terk]

this remains an excellent read, dave

[Tyrone the Magazine]

couldn't agree more

[OMDave]

Thanks a lot guys, much appreciated. I'm finding it difficult to post regularly, and over the next few weeks it's going to get worse before it gets any better...I have a feeling this is going to be a very long story, but I'm determined to stick by it as long as the storyline makes some sort of sense...

Game reports and team news (continued from above).

25th November 2003.

Julien Tournut suffered a groin strain during the day's training sessions, and will be unavailable for three weeks. With Djibril Diawara also out through injury, cover is now short in defensive positions.

26th November 2003, La Bocca (att. 2557).

AS Cannes 2

Raon-l'Etape 1

Goals: Demangeon (16, 0-1), Toledo (39, 1-1; 69, 2-1).

Notes: Magallanes misses penalty, 90. Shots: AS Cannes 19(9), Raon-l'Etape 2(1).

A much more one-sided game than the result suggests. Cannes found themselves in the unfamiliar position of being led at La Bocca, through a freak goal from fully fifty yards, a direct free-kick which left Filimonov stranded at the edge of his box. Not often does one see such incredible goals at this level, and Demangeon seemed stunned by the result of his own audacity. Toledo was yet again voted man-of-the-match, and in the end his two goals proved more than enough to earn the three points. A narrow win, perhaps, but nothing to worry about in the overall performance, and Louhans-Cuiseaux are now trailing the leaders by nine points.

29th November 2003, Stade du Hameau (att. 6932).

Pau 1

AS Cannes 3

Goals: Zoko (8, 0-1), Toledo (13, 0-2), Mohammed (20, 0-3), Demirdjian (71, 1-3).

Shots: Pau 4(2), AS Cannes 9(6).

Diawara returned from injury to take his place at right-back, in a team which once again featured several players who hadn't seen much first-team action so far. Padovani was a little disappointing in goal, but Courtel, Emanuelson and Viltard had a decent game in midfield, and Zoko added another goal to his tally. Pau offered little resistance, and twenty minutes into the game the visitors were three-up, suggesting another humiliating scoreline was on the cards for Cannes' opponents, but in the end the 3-1 scoreline was quite a fair reflection of the game, which the Mediterraneans dominated throughout without really creating that many chances, and in particular once they had a three-goal advantage.

On the same day, AS Cannes were drawn to play amateur team Montélimar away from home, in the Eighth Round of the French Cup. The fixture is scheduled to be played on 13th December 2003 at the Stade Alexandre Tropenas.

[Tyrone the Magazine]

Damn you Dave and your from thingy...such a shame I don't know french...merde

Please do stick with the story it has hooked me into it and am sincerley enjoying it

[owen goal]

me too!

[OMDave]

Nice to know there's still some interest in the story. Thanks guys. Mine is intact, by the way, it's just going to be very, very slow...

Tyrone, 'Les divins chauves ont encore frappé' = 'the divine baldies have struck again'...and 'merde' is a good start, keep it up

[OMDave]

meant to include the last post in the one i'm writing now, but once again i pressed 'post now' with undue haste...

Press feature (source: 'Le Petit Rapporteur', interview dated 3rd December 2003).

Over the last decade, our town has seen its image significantly tarnished in the eye of the informed public, to the point where one could wonder whether there was anything good left to say about Cannes.

This newspaper has decried and exposed many of the factors responsible for this: the rise in popularity of the Front National * in the area; the emergence of several new and powerful criminal organisations, whose ultra-violent rivalry often spills over onto the streets; the artificial, haphazard growth of 'industry parks' and 'executive residency areas' to accomodate the stinking rich and their cronies -jetsetters, executives, crime bosses, politicians and all kinds of other parasites and leeches.

We have not, however, mentioned another important way in which our town has lost face in recent years -namely our very own football club, l'Association Sportive de Cannes, which has sunk to the depths of the National when, a little over a decade ago, players like Zinedine Zidane and Patrick Vieira wore the youth team's jersey.

The situation seems to be improving slightly at La Bocca, with Cannes leading the National by eleven points, and still unbeaten in any competition so far this season. Led by a young manager who believes in short, sharp passing and a brand of attacking football which makes full use of the width of the pitch, the team seems well on the way to promotion already, with the top three going up to join the ranks of the Ligue 2.

In this issue's interview feature we offer our readers a departure from the usual current affairs and critical analysis, as we converse with AS Cannes manager David Le Spliff:

Le Petit Rapporteur: First of all, welcome and thank you for agreeing to this interview.

David Le Spliff: My pleasure. I've learnt a lot about this town by reading your paper, and I tend to agree with the views of your regular contributors. Besides, someone promised me a crate of Leffe Radieuse.

LPR: That'll be the editor. But let's move on to football now; throughout October and November, Cannes have consolidated their position at the top of the National. How would you assess the team's chances of obtaining promotion this year?

DLS: I'd say the chances are very good. With all due respect to our opponents, at the club we feel that the quality of the squad is such that we are perfectly capable of competing at a higher level. There's a long way to go this season, but we haven't yet played a team who were able to put us on the back foot, and it's unlikely we will unless we meet a club from a higher division in the French Cup. Then again, in football you never know...

LPR: Well at least you've learnt to speak in clichés, like any self-respecting football manager. How difficult have you found it to adapt to a professional setting?

DLS: Don't be such a smart alec. To answer your question, I remember being very apprehensive the first couple of weeks, but once things really got under way I just didn't have time to wonder whether I was going to do a good job of it or not. But I receive excellent advice from the coaches, and everyone at the club has been very patient with me, including the players.

LPR: What, if any, would you say are the team's weaknesses?

DLS: We create an awful number of chances, but sometimes the last ball and the finishing are far too casual. There's a tendency in the team to over-confidence in our ability to outplay opponents, which has on occasion translated into an inability to kill the game when we should have.

LPR: What is your impression so far of the club and of its supporters?

DLS: I suppose this is some sort of trick question...If I didn't believe the club has the potential to make significant progress, there wouldn't be much point in trying, would there? As for the supporters, I've been getting to know them quite well, which isn't too difficult as there aren't that many of them at our games.

LPR: Indeed. Are you hoping that success on the pitch will bring back the crowds to La Bocca?

DLS: Crowds? The stadium can hold around twelve thousand, so that would depend on your definition of a 'crowd'. Obviously I hope we can generate greater interest in the team, and improve the attendance at home games. It's one of the principal ways through which we pay the players' salaries -or didn't you realize that?

LPR: Actually I did, but I'm just reading through my list of questions here. We don't usually discuss any sports in our paper.

DLS: Never mind...Are there many more questions in that vein on your list, or can I collect my crate of Leffe and go home for some well-deserved rest?

LPR: Well...I suppose for once we can have a shorter interview than usual. Thanks again for coming, and good luck in your next game -ah...

DLS: At La Bocca against Libourne Saint-Seurin, yes. Saturday 6th December, at eight PM -bring a friend, or several.

*The 'Front National' is a far-right political party, and a nest of corrupt crypto-fascists, several of whom have been involved in scams designed to divert money from municipalities or regional institutions into their own pockets, often in collusion with local crime bosses and/or 'investment banks'

[Tyrone the Magazine]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave:

Tyrone, 'Les divins chauves ont encore frappé' = 'the divine baldies have struck again'...and 'merde' is a good start, keep it up_ <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

who'd have thought I'd learn french on FM website I can always use the chance to broaden my cultural scope so keep the french and translations lol.

[OMDave]

I'll try to keep that in mind -always happy to do my bit for cross-cultural exchange...

Game reports and team news (source: Football365.fr -National updates section).

5th December 2003.

Boca Juniors beat AC Milan 1-0 in Yokohama, winning the Inter-Continental Cup.

6th December 2003.

AS Cannes v. Libourne Saint-Seurin, at La Bocca (att. 2578). National.

6. After a hectic scramble in the goalmouth, the ball falls to Toledo, whose first shot is blocked but scores a simple tap-in on the rebound. 1-0.

21. Toledo runs at the defence and unleashes a crashing 35-yard drive, which leaves the keeper stranded ten yards out from his goal. 2-0.

80. El Kadouri is released down the left by Mohammed, and crosses hard and low into Inkango's path. Inkango scores with an instinctive strike into the lower right-hand corner. 3-0.

AS Cannes 3, Libourne Saint-Seurin 0. Toledo was voted man-of-the-match for an amazing fifth game in a row, and this despite coming off early after taking a knock an hour into the game. Cannes have now played every other team in the National, and boast a record of seventeen wins, two draws and no defeats in their league campaign so far. In doing so they scored sixty-six goals and conceded only ten. Louhans-Cuiseaux, who had a game in hand, are now nine points behind Cannes, whilst third-placed Valenciennes are thirteen points off the pace.

11th December 2003.

Cannes assistant manager Charly Loubet is appointed in charge of Wasquehal, who lie close to the relegation zone in the National. It is not yet known who will replace him as David Le Spliff's assistant.

17th December 2003.

Montélimar (Amateur) vs. Cannes (National), at the Stade Alexandre Tropenas (att. 2574). French Cup Eighth Round.

45. Mutiu cuts the ball back from the byline for El Kadouri, unmarked on the left edge of the six-yard box. Clean strike for an easy finish. 0-1.

45 (+2). After a poor control by one of the opposition's centre-backs, Mutiu nicks the ball and streaks through, before adjusting the keeper with a delightful curved shot. 0-2.

56. Torres Mestre rolls the ball square to Mohammed, a good thirty yards out. The Nigerian's belter crashes onto the bar, but Toledo surges to slot home the rebound. 0-3.

Montélimar 0, AS Cannes 3. Fielding what was essentially their first-choice line-up, Cannes encountered little resistance in this cup tie. Toledo and Mutiu were able to take advantage of the home team's defensive frailties, and the score could have been much heavier.

[SI]

Any truth to the rumours of Mido being exchanged for Laurent Robert?

Still a brilliant story

[OMDave]

Thank you kindly SI

Hadn't heard that particular rumour, and can't say Robert is one of the players I'd hope to see at Marseille, but I do know Mido wants to go to Newcastle or to Spain, where his agent is making some contacts. He's the biggest salary at Marseille (100K E/month), and I for one can't wait to see him **** off, good player though he is...

[SI]

I'm happy, as long as Mido doesn't go to back Celta and help them out of the division they truly belong in

[OMDave]

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff’s personal diary) –entry dated 14th December 2003.

Last Tuesday evening my assistant Charly Loubet knocked on my office door, just as I was about to head home after sifting through our scouts’ latest reports. It was clear something was bothering him, and when I invited him to take a seat he looked as though I had just slapped him.

- “What’s the matter, Charly? Has Laurent [Charvet] stolen the training cones again?â€

- “No…well, yes, but that isn’t what I wanted a word about.†He paused, and I nodded to indicate I was waiting for him to go on. “David, I’ve been an assistant under fifteen different managers at this club. Until now, Cannes was my whole life, the club where I started both my careers –first as a player, and later as a coach…â€

- “You’re one of the club’s living legends, Charly.â€

- “Please don’t interrupt me. It’s hard enough as it is…†Again I waited, sensing I was about to receive some bad news. “Wasquehal have asked me whether I’d be interested in managing their team.†So there it was. Charly wanted to leave and try his hand at management, something he’d probably hoped he might be asked to do for Cannes. I hadn’t expected this to happen so soon, but it was hardly a surprise, and he seemed a little taken aback by the equanimity with which I responded to his announcement.

- “And your decision is made?â€

- “It is. I wanted you to be the first to know. I hope there are no hard feelings, and I wish you every success with Cannes, which will always be the club of my heart.â€

- “Thanks Charly. No hard feelings on my part –you’ve made me feel very welcome here, and without you those first few weeks would have been hell, the players would never have accepted me. I’m sorry to see you go, but I can’t begrudge you a managerial career of your own. Good luck at Wasquehal.â€

- “I’m glad you see things that way.†For the first time, Charly smiled. “I hope I get as positive a reaction when I tell Big Mike and the players…†He got up from his seat, and we shook hands. “You’re building a fine squad here, young man, and I have no doubt you can guide them to the higher echelons. All the best.â€

- “That’s very kind of you to say so. We’ll all keep an eye out for Wasquehal’s fortunes…and remember, there will always be a spare place on our bench, if you ever feel like coming down to watch a game at La Bocca.â€

- “I appreciate that, David. Good bye.â€

- “Bye.â€

I watched him walk out, the club’s most faithful servant, once a sharp forward who had been picked for France several times. I realized that an important page of the club’s history had just been turned, though it was not one which would attract much attention from the outside. Besides, it was now up to me to fill in the blanks that lay ahead of us, and right now that meant finding a suitable replacement for Charly, someone who would consider working as the assistant to a young and inexperienced manager. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I already knew who to turn to for advice. I picked up the phone and called Christian Lopez on his mobile.

[Daz the Imp]

Just caught up, great read

Allez les rouges et blanc!!! (I think they play red and white )

David Le Spliff pour la president!!!

[Tyrone the Magazine]

Glad to see this back up and running again

[OMDave]

Cheers Daz. Indeed, their colours are red-and-white vertical stripes, with red shorts and socks. The away kit is entirely sky blue (shirt, shorts and socks) and rather fetching, I think -then again I'm a Marseille fan, so I suppose I would

Thanks Tyrone -I shall try to post more regularly over the next fortnight or so, and give the story a little more rhythm.

A little real-life interlude, which I thought might interest those of you who have made it this far...

I decided to write this after I read an article in last week's France Football (Friday 2nd July edition) that Cannes stalwart Charly Loubet will be retiring this summer, after fifteen years spent managing (briefly) and then as assistant manager, a position he enjoyed far more than the limelight, and which gave him the opportunity to contribute to the shaping of truly great players such as Zidane or Vieira, to mention the two whom everyone will have heard of.

Loubet was -is- an institution at La Bocca, and it seemed to me an amusing coincidence that I read about his retirement just after (in my CM game) he took up Wasquehal's offer to manage their team. So while I'm at it, I might as well add a few other informations concerning Cannes' 2003-2004 season in real life...

Cannes finished sixth in the National this year, with 58 points out of a possible 114 (38 games; 16 wins, 10 draws and 12 defeats, scoring 49 and conceding 36).

Best scorers were Niflore and Zoko, with 10 each. M'Bodji follows with 5. The most used player was Cyril Guyot, who played 35 games.

On the transfer front this summer, young Faubert is leaving Cannes for Bordeaux (L1) , Dembelé is going to Nîmes (Nat) and Niflore heads for Tours (Nat). As for arrivals, they're mostly second-rate players from the lower leagues , though there are rumours that players such as Charvet , Lambourde, Roy or Libbra -who all came through the youth set-up at Cannes- might return to the club this summer...

Hope you didn't mind this little entr'acte, and all the best to your respective clubs in their yearly summer shopping spree...

[Tyrone the Magazine]

[OMDave]

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -entry dated 16th December 2003.

Another long day, both on the training grounds and in the office. Then again I suppose we're lucky to have found a suitable replacement for Charly Loubet so quickly. That was mostly down to Christian Lopez, who suggested his name as soon as I told him Charly had decided to leave for Wasquehal.

Christian and Gabriel are of the same generation, and crossed paths a few times, both as players and when Desmenez was a coach at Nice. As it happened, Gabriel was taking a break from football, and it took Christian several lengthy conversations over the phone to convince him to join us.

Mr Desmenez, according to Christian, is a firm believer in the virtues of short, sharp attacking football, and gets on very well with younger players. And though his tactical acumen is perhaps not the most sophisticated around, his motivational and man-management skills more than make up for it. All of which makes him a perfect candidate, along with his considerable experience.

I first met him this morning, when he turned up to meet the board and sign a two-and-a-half-year contract. He stopped by my office to introduce himself, and my first impression was that of a quiet, self-possessed man with impeccable manners, who seemed slightly awkward about his imposing appearance -tall and wide, with hands like the paws of a bear.

He joined us out on the training grounds for the afternoon session, and it was clear from the start that I was going to benefit greatly from the presence of my new assistance. A few of the players were unhappy about Charly's departure -he'd been like a second father to several of them- but everyone was clearly in awe of Gabriel, even though he said nothing, watching from the sideline with his tree-trunk arms folded across his chest.

After the session I asked him into my office, to get his first impressions concerning the squad.

- "I like what I see. Quite a squad you're building here, but unless the club gets promoted I doubt you'll be able to keep the best of them."

- "That's what we're here for, to get the club promoted. Christian says we have similar philosophies when it comes to the way football should be played."

- "Yes, he said that to me too. In fact it was that, and the results you've been getting, which swayed me in the end. And I haven't had any cause to regret it today -the excitement here is almost palpable..."

He looked out toward the pitches, as though he were visualizing already the manner of his involvement, and I knew it was going to be fine. He barely seemed aware of the fact that he could have been my father, and that my experience of management amounted to a couple of years of part-time coaching, what's more with an amateur side playing in the Aquitaine regional league...Either that, or he hid it very well indeed...

In any case, his first proper day on the job will be our league fixture tomorrow, away to Sannois Saint-Gratien. And it's probably just as well that he'll have, right away, an opportunity to see the team in action in a competitive game. And on a personal note, I'm very relieved that I'll be working with someone who appears to be a very decent human being. Then again, I should really have had more faith in Christian's judgement, because so far it hasn't failed me or the club on a single occasion...

[Harleqin]

Don't you ever lose?

Quite an amazing run you have there. Let's see if the squad can stay intact and handle itself when the inevitable promotion arrives

[OMDave]

I'm not sure I've ever had as good a record halfway through the first season before, Jesper. Having said that, I'm amazed at the quality of some of the players I've acquired, and I really think this Cannes team would have a decent chance of avoiding relegation in Ligue 1...

In the actual playing of the game, I'm about 50 game days further than in the story and...well, I won't spoil it for those who actually intend to read on...

For the record, so far I've played a 4-1-3-2 formation, one of the first I developed in CM4, though until then I favoured using three centre-backs and attacking wing-backs, which for some reason seems a big no-no in CM4....Or maybe I'm just not playing it right...

Game reports and team news (source: 'Bocca Vera!' fanzine, December issues).

16th December 2003.

Gabriel Desmenez (49, FRA) is appointed as Cannes' new assistant manager. Desmenez was not under contract and no compensation was necessary.

17th December 2003, Stade Michel Hidalgo (att. 2526)

Sannois SG 2

AS Cannes 2

Goals: Inkango (0-1, 10; 1-2, 59), Doumbouya (1-1, 49), Planus (2-2, 72).

Notes: Emanuelson missed penalty (51).

Shots: Sannois SG 5(3), AS Cannes 13(6).

Cannes manager David Le Spliff will doubtless be thinking that his team ought to have put the game beyond their opponents' reach. He will also be rueing young Urby Emanuelson's penalty miss, though he was at pains, in his post-match comments, to exonerate the Dutch playmaker from any blame.

"It's my own fault, for not designating a more seasoned player to take it. I'd also like to remind everyone that he didn't miss -the goalkeeper pulled a great save, full credit to him. Sannois Saint-Gratien worked hard to earn a point today, and in my book they deserved it."

And perhaps they did. But let's not forget this was essentially the same team that Cannes beat 8-0 at La Bocca earlier this season. Signs that the Cannes locomotive is running out of steam? Only the future can tell.

18th December 2003.

The draw for the Ninth Round of the French Cup took place in Fontainebleau. Cannes are drawn at home to amateur team Endoûme (CFA), a very favourable draw. Three ties involving L1 clubs stand out as the headliners: Lens v. Lyon, Nantes v. Strasbourg and PSG v. Sochaux.

20th December 2003, La Bocca (att. 2616).

AS Cannes 4

FC Sète 0

Goals: Mohammed (1-0, 24; 2-0, 29), Diawara (3-0, 82; 4-0, 88).

Notes: Vargas sent off (kicking an opponent, 64).

Shots: AS Cannes 17(11), FC Sète 2(0).

A game as thoroughly dominated as any manager would wish. Sète, who lay twelfth in the league before the game, never looked like they hoped for anything better than a 0-0 draw. That, however, was not to be -although neither of the Cannes front two got a goal. Once again Suleiman Mohammed proved how important his goals are to the club, and he was imperious in midfield, breaking up Sète moves and launching his own team's attacks, spraying the ball around intelligently and getting himself into good shooting positions. He and man-of-the-match Diawara, who got the other two goals with a couple of unstoppable headers, were outstanding throughout the game.

This victory, in the last game Cannes were to play in 2003, rounds off an impressive first half of the season, leaving 'les Rouges-et-Blancs' undefeated and fourteen points clear at the top of the National.

27th December 2003.

Jorge Vargas is banned for two further games following a review of his dismissal in the game against Sète.

28th December 2003.

Gnahoua Zéphirin Zoko picked up a groin injury in training, and will be out for about a week.

[OMDave]

International Player Awards 2004 (Source: FIFA and UEFA).

FIFA World Footballer of the Year.

1. Robert Carlos (BRA) -Real Madrid.

2. Gianluca Zambrotta (ITA) -Juventus.

3. Tobias Rau (GER) -Bayern München.

FIFA World Player of the Year.

1. Edgar Davids (HOL) -Juventus.

2. Ruud Van Nistelrooy (HOL) -Man Utd.

3. Fabio Cannavaro (ITA) -Inter.

UEFA European Footballer of the Year.

1. Carlos Marchena (SPA) -Valencia CF.

2. Iván Córdoba (COL) -Inter.

3. Michael Ballack (GER) -Bayern München.

UEFA European Goalkeeper of the Year.

1. Santiago Cañizares (SPA) -Valencia CF.

2. Reçber Rüstü (TUR) -Barcelona.

3. Gianluigi Buffon (ITA) -Juventus.

UEFA European Defender of the Year.

1. Roberto Ayala (ARG) -Valencia CF.

2. Robert Kovac (CRO) -Bayern München.

3. Rio Ferdinand (ENG) -Man Utd.

UEFA European Midfielder of the Year.

1. Marc Overmars (HOL) -Barcelona.

2. Kléberson (BRA) -Man Utd.

3. Robert Pires (FRA) -Arsenal.

UEFA European Striker of the Year.

1. David Trezeguet (FRA) -Juventus.

2. Mohamed Kallon (SIE) -Inter.

3. Roy Makaay (HOL) -Bayern München.

[OMDave]

Diary entry (Source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -entry dated 28th December 2003.

Just back from a very short break, a couple of days spent with some old friends in the Cévennes. There wasn't enough time to do justice to any of my scattered family, and I declined Uncle Bébert's invitation to spend Christmas dinner with some rich and influent friends of his -told him I needed a change of air, which I did, and what is more, I'd been neglecting even my best and oldest friends since I'd settled in Cannes.

Being away from the club, even just for a couple of days, has done me a world of good. We'd rented a small gîte near the eastern edge of the Larzac Plateau, and passed the time walking and taling, eating and drinking, playing music and smoking. Before I knew it, I was on a train heading back for Cannes, wishing I'd had a whole week -make that a whole month...

But looking back on everything that's happened since July, it's difficult not to feel satisfaction at what has been accomplished so far. The complete regeneration of the first team squad, the unbeaten runs in both the National and the French Cup, the gradual but unmistakeable acceptance amongst the staff and the players. I never dreamed the situation would evolve so rapidly, and so positively, when I was handed the job by Uncle Bébert...

I am now convinced that we will achieve promotion this season, as I think there are currently few teams in the National capable of ending our impressive run, and I don't see us dropping too many points at La Bocca. I also think we can cause an upset or two if we get to play bigger teams in the Cup. And it is the performances -more than the results- which fill me with confidence, as we consistently outplay opponents and create a greater number of chances.

And if I do have one thing to worry about, it is how I am going to keep our best players at the club. There have been very few concrete offers so far, but come the summer I have a feeling that several of them will have turned a few heads, and generated a fair amount of interest from more prestigious clubs.

Actually, there is one another major worry: the Toledo 'case'. There hasn't been any motre information forthcoming from the Bertuzzi brothers, though I see them and a few colleagues of theirs at every home game. Always the same two words, delivered with a self-deprecating shrug whenever I ask; "Nothing new."

But there has to be something. A clue they overlooked, a witness they omitted to question -anything that might point to what had actually happened to the lad, that night at the Hotel Bristol. I've been warned about making enquiries myself, but perhaps I could get someone to help me out. My friend at the Petit Rapporteur? Too risky; I couldn't trust him not to speak of it to others, or even use it in his paper. Christian is too involved with the club, and the last thing I want is for him and his family to get into any trouble. That leaves only Uncle Bébert...

[OMDave]

Game reports and team news (source: Football 365.fr -National updates section, January overview).

3rd January 3004.

AS Cannes (Nat.) vs. Endoume (CFA), at La Bocca (att. 2754). French Cup Ninth Round.

10. Mutiu plays El Kadouri through down the left side of the box. The Moroccan angles his run inside and blasts one from ten yards out, crucifying the keeper. 1-0.

13. Torres Mestre cuts the ball back form the byline, on the left side of the area. Mohammed hits it on the volley from the penalty spot and scores. 2-0.

30. Banack runs free down the left touchline and sends in a hopeful cross. Falzon has evaded his marker's attentions, and hits it first-time from a dozen yards out. Filimonov doesn't even move. 2-1.

41. Torres Mestre's header back is too powerful, forcing Filimonov to make a good save, but the ball spills loose and Banack is left with the simplest of tap-ins. 2-2.

103. Toledo runs from the right touchline to the penalty spot, beating three players before coolly slotting it home with his left. 3-2.

AS Cannes 3, Endoume 2 (a.e.t.). A game which almost ended in embarrassment for Cannes, who once again couldn't put the game away when they had the chances to do so (thirty-five shots on goal, including eighteen on target, whereas Endoume had three). Charvet and Dika were so poor at the heart of the defence that Mohellebi and Tournut were brought on at half-time. Filimonov's performance was abysmal -he had little to do, but still managed to foul up on each and every occasion. Thankfully, man-of-the-match Mohammed kept an iron grip on midfield throughout, and Toledo and Moustaïd did just about enough to bring about the goals that sent Cannes through to the last 32 (Tenth Round).

4th January 2004.

The draw for the Tenth Round of the French Cup sees Cannes pitted against Epinal (CFA), away at the Stade de la Colombière. The game will be played on 24th January 2004.

None of the ties drawn involve two clubs from Ligue 1.

9th January 2004.

Cannes sign young Georgian defender Lasha Chelidze (D R/C, 18, GEO) from Torpedo Kutaisi (GEO) for 50.OOO £. A clear indication that manager Le Spliff is dissatisfied with his centre-halves, and feels new blood is needed.

Cannes sign Délis Ahou (D/DM L/C, 19, FRA) for 50.OOO £ from Nantes, where he played with the Reserves. Will provide cover for both Torres Mestre and El Kadouri, and should get quite a few games.

10th January 2004.

Louhans-Cuiseaux vs. AS Cannes, at the Stade de Bram (att. 2541). National.

38. Moustaïd send in a free-kick from the left side, 40 yards out. Diawara outjumps the keeper on the edge of the six-yard-box. 0-1.

70. El Kadouri wins the ball along the left touchline. He runs down the flank and sends in a lovely chip for Mutiu, unmarked in the penalty area. The Nigerian sends a powerful strike into the roof of the net. 0-2.

90 (+2). Garin plays Rizaldos through with a great one-touch pass. The striker steadies himself and beats Filimonov from close range. 1-2.

Louhans-Cuiseaux 1, AS Cannes 2. A deserved win in the top-of-the-table clash for the Mediterraneans, which now puts them 17 points clear in the National. Good début for Chelidze, with Mutiu designated as man-of-the-match. Louhans-Cuiseaux never looked like taking hold of the play, and only managed three strikes on target in the whole game.

11th January 2004.

Istres (5th in Ligue 2) make an offer for Bruce Inkango, which Cannes reject, stating they have no intention of selling their young forward.

16th January 2004.

Christophe Lemaire (S C, 16, FRA) agrees terms with AS Cannes. Beauvais will be compensated with 110.000 £.

Romain Testas signs for Mulhouse (CFA) on a free transfer. Cannes will receive 50% of the fee should he be sold on to another club.

17th January 2004.

AS Cannes vs. Cherbourg, at La Bocca (att. 2672). National.

2. Corner from the left struck by Moustaïd. The keeper punches it out straight to Magallanes, ten yards out, who hits it first-time and finds the net. 1-0.

45. Corner from the right side. Moustaïd's floated ball is headed in by Diawara, who outjumps everyone at the far post. 2-0.

58. Diawara nods the ball down from the edge of the area for Toledo, who chips the keeper first-time from fifteen yards. 3-0.

63. Magallanes is sent off for a professional foul.

69. Toledo wins the ball back on the halfway line, beats the last defender and easily rounds the keeper before hitting the net. 4-0.

AS Cannes 4, Cherbourg 0. Even when reduced to ten men, Cannes had their opponents by the throat and applied pressure relentlessly down both flanks. Toledo was voted man-of-the-match yet again, with Moustaïd also excellent and Filimonov finding form at last to keep a clean sheet.

21st January 2004.

Souleymane Bamba (D C, 19, FRA), a former youth player at Paris SG and Juventus but currently unemployed, joins Cannes on a free transfer.

23rd January 2004.

Harlington Shereni (D/DM L/C, 28, ZIM) signs for Cannes for an initial 150.000 £ from Istres (Ligue 2). Chairman Michel Salerno pointed out that a further 150.000 £ would be paid out over the next twelve months. Shereni is likely to constitute a new pairing in central defence alongside Vargas or Chelidze.

24th January 2004.

Epinal (CFA) vs. AS Cannes (Nat.), at the Stade de la Colombière (att. 1533). French Cup Tenth Round.

14. Poor clearance straight to Vargas, who finds Moustaïd unmarked in the box on the right. Powerful shot from a tight angle, through the keeper's legs. 0-1.

22. Lawal plays a through-ball for Toledo, who made a run down the left side of the box. The Brazilian cuts inside and beats the keeper from eight yards. 0-2.

71. Lemaire crosses from the byline on the right. Emanuelson strikes the ball first-time from ten yards out, leaving the keeper no chance. 0-3.

Epinal 0, AS Cannes 3. Comfortable win against a mediocre team. Encouraging début for Lemaire, only sixteen, who played the second half and set up a goal. Moustaïd was the best player on the field, with Vargas and Emanuelson putting in impressive performances. The day was a disastrous one for Ligue 1 teams -only Paris SG, Auxerre, Lyon, Metz and Marseille went through to the last sixteen. An unheard-of eight amateur clubs will compete in the Eleventh Round -half the teams still involved.

25th January 2004.

In the draw for the Eleventh Round of the French Cup, Cannes are drawn to play Joué-lès-Tours (Ama.) away. The game will be played at the Stade Jean Bouin on 14th February 2004.

28th January 2004.

Tours vs. AS Cannes, at the Stade de la Vallée du Cher (att. 2518). National.

16. Nieto crosses from the right byline. Zitelli turns Charvet on his first touch and beats Filimonov from six yards out. 1-0.

48. Good header from Charvet after Gafour's croner from the right. The keeper parries it, but Toledo is in the right place at the right time. 1-1.

77. Citron sends in a fierce shot from 25 yards, which Filimonov palms away, but Citron has continued his run and sidefoots the rebound past the disbelieveing keeper. 2-1.

Tours 2, AS Cannes 1. Finally Cannes are made to pay for their casual finishing, in a game in which they created five times as many chances as their opponents; twenty shots on goal compared to Tours' four. But with Tours goalkeeper Raimbault, a deserving man-of-the-match, playing out of his skin, and his counterpart Filimonov having another very poor game, in the end Tours held on to their advantage and inflicted their first defeat of the season upon the Mediterraneans. Cannes still lead the National by 17 pts, but with their run of invincibility well and truly over, perhaps a few doubts will begin to creep in.

31st January 2004.

AS Cannes vs. Brest, at La Bocca (att. 2683). National.

51. Fantastic 40-yard run by Inkango, who beats two players before unleashing a perfect finish into the top right-hand corner. 1-0.

AS Cannes 1, Brest 0. An important game for Cannes against a team lying sixth and in resplendent form of late. Though less adventurous than usual, Cannes were more assured at the back, and with only one strike on target Brest did not pose much of a threat to Filimonov. Moustaïd's forays down the right flank earned him man-of-the-match, whilst Torres Mestre, Emanuelson and goalscorer Inkango all put in good performances. The Mediterraneans will be relieved that they have immediately returned to winning ways, just after a potentially demoralizing defeat away to Tours three days earlier.

[OMDave]

Transcript of an intercepted cellular phone communication (source: unknown). Recorded at 23:14 on 20th January 2004.

Notes: Identifying source codes occulted by scrambling device (type unknown). Forensics testing was negative.

*click*

- "Good evening, sir. I was expecting your call."

- "You knew it was me."

- "I did. A wise precaution you took, but I'm good at my job."

- "For your own sake, I would advise you not to be too good at it."

- "You've never had to worry about that before, have you?"

- "No. I have not. Were you at the game on Saturday?"

- "Haven't missed one in two years, sir. I was there."

- "You are certain he still suspects nothing?"

- "Positive. And in any case, there's nothing he can do about it."

- "Perhaps. The main thing is, events are unfolding the way they are supposed to. I expect you to see to it that this does not change."

- "Of course."

- "One last thing."

- "Sir?"

- "The girl."

- "Ah yes, the g..."

- "You have found her, yes?"

- "I'm afraid not, sir. Those damn Albanians d..."

- "Silence! I should not need to remind you. No specifics."

- "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

- "Find her. You know what to do, yes?"

- "Looking forward to it already, sir."

- "Have I ever told you what an abject, repulsive wretch you are?"

- "Many times, sir, and I thank you."

- "Just find her. We know where to find you."

*click*

[Gino]

This is great. There's plenty of detail but it's easy to read. Brilliant!

[OMDave]

Cheers Gino, glad you like it. I think if I didn't vary the types of posts the story is made of, I'd probably get bored very quickly (and so would the people reading this, no doubt...).

Diary entry (source : David Le Spliff’s personal diary) –dated 29th January 2004.

I keep telling myself that it had to happen eventually, but that isn’t working too well…The defeat in itself bothers me less than the manner in which we threw away the game. I’ve been warning the players week in, week out about over-confidence, but that was what cost us the game, playing as though we were always going to win because we played better football. In the dressing-room after the game I had a strong urge to have a go at some of the players –starting with Sacha [Filimonov], who’s had a dreadful month and is developing a bit of an attitude problem…

Instead I said very little, emphasizing only the fact that we’d lost that game, rather than our opponents winning it. And from the look on most players’ faces, it was clear they had already arrived at the same conclusion. So after a couple of minutes of comments delivered in a neutral tone, I exited the changing-room and left them to deal with their guilt. I headed for the parking lot, told the bus driver to warn Gabriel [Desmenez, assistant manager] I wouldn’t be making the trip back with them, and walked to the station.

When I met up with the lads for our usual ‘stretch-and-fun’ session on the day following the game, no-one mentioned my absence on the bus or asked why I’d left. Gabriel seemed a little uneasy at first, but once he’d ascertained I wasn’t in a foul mood he seemed to relax. And I may be wrong about this, but I could have sworn that the players pushed themselves harder than usual (or indeed, than needed; the last thing I want is for one or more of my first-team players to get injured)…

On a more positive note, we’ve reached the last sixteen of the French Cup, which has turned out to be a real shocker so far this year. Eight of the sixteen clubs left come from CFA or lower divisions, which is unprecedented. And in another fortunate twist of fate, we have been drawn to play one of them away, Joué-lès-Tours. I hope the fact that they are neighbours to the team that just ended our unbeaten run is not an ill omen, and I don’t intend to let the players form the impression that we’re going to walk all over them. Still, to reach the quarter-final would bring back some of the lustre the club has lost in recent years, and obviously everyone at the club is very excited at the prospect.

I saw Oncle Bébert twice this month, and the first was a total fiasco…A story for another day, as it’s time for some Lemsip (pretty cold here at the end of January, Côte d’Azur or not) and a nice big fat one of that White Widow I scored from Etienne, my friend at the Petit Rapporteur…

[Terk]

still very much enjoying this, dave not getting boring in the slightest.

also, requesting your permission to use 'Dave Le Spliff' in a marseille-based story which is soon to be written and will be published when the world cup and autobiography stories have been finished [/blatant plug]

[OMDave]

Thanks Simon, kind of you to say so. You are of course very welcome to use any characters from the story. One thing, though: a Frenchman would only be called 'David', not 'Dave' -there was a French 'entertainer' in the 70s whose stage name was 'Dave', and since then calling your son like that would be tantamount to condemning him to ceaseless taunts and mockery...

A Marseille-based story? Like the sound of that

Game reports and team news (source: 'Bocca Vera!' fanzine, February issues).

7th February 2004, Stade Municipal (att. 2998). National.

Bourg-Péronnas 0

AS Cannes 4

Goals: Zoko (0-1, 21), Moustaïd (0-2, pen. 35; 0-4, 87), Toledo (0-3, 47).

Shots: Bourg-Péronnas 3(2), AS Cannes 18(15).

A dominant performance by the league leaders, based upon a very solid back four in which Vargas was outstanding. New signing Harlington Shereni, just back from the African Nations Cup, made a convincing début for the club at the heart of the defence.

With only twelve league games left, Cannes are sitting comfortably upon a twenty-point lead over closes rivals Valenciennes, with Louhans-Cuiseaux in third place twenty-two points off the pace.

14th February 2004, Stade Jean Bouin (att. 2582).French Cup Eleventh Round (last 16).

Joué-lès-Tours (CFA) 0

AS Cannes 4

Goals: Magallanes (0-1, 3; 0-4, 54), El-Kadouri (0-2, 13), Toledo (0-3, 20).

Shots: Joué-lès-Tours 1(1), AS Cannes 32(15).

Cannes progress to the Quarter-Final, helped by an easy draw against an 'amateur' -or semi-professional- side. They wasted no time in going for their opponents' throat, then allowed themselves to relax once they were three-up after twenty minutes of play.

The shock result of the Eleventh Round was Lyon's home defeat against Angers (L2), a game in which the home side saw two of their players sent off. Metz beat Auxerre 2-0 at home in the only 100%-Ligue 1 fixture.

15th February 2004.

Olympique de Marseille manager Alain Perrin is sacked*.

The draw for the French Cup Quarter-Final sees Cannes drawn to play Toulon (CFA) away, in a game to be held on 13th March 2004. Another very favourable draw, on paper at least.

18th February 2004, La Bocca (att. 2612). National.

AS Cannes 2

Beauvais 0

Goals: Mutiu (1-0, 4), Emanuelson (2-0, 79).

Shots: AS Cannes 14(10), Beauvais 2(2).

Striker Mutiu made his return, after winning the African Nations' Cup with Nigeria. Mutiu appeared three times as a substitute during the tournament. Befroe the game started, the crowd at La Bocca gave the Nigerian a standing ovation, and as usual there were several green-white-and-green flags visible on the terraces.

Young Délis Ahou made his début at left-back, and looks as though he will need more playing time with the Reserves before his potential can be judged properly. In short, he was not particularly impressive. And yet it was an easy win, for a Cannes side composed mostly of back-up players.

Before travelling to second-placed Valenciennes for their next league game, the Mediterraneans have extended their league to twenty-two points, as Valenciennes were held to a draw away.

21st February 2004, Stade Nungesser (att. 2544). National.

Valenciennes 2

AS Cannes 1

Goals: Inkango (0-1, 8), Hissein (1-1, 34; 2-1, 61).

Shots: Valenciennes 8(5), AS Cannes 13(9).

In a relatively even game, Valenciennes came out winners as they were able to better exploit the hesitancy of Cannes' central defence. With Chelidze, Vargas and Shereni all needing a rest, Filimonov lacked protection and confidence, producing a poor display overall. His see-saw form since the beginning of the season has been one of Le Spliff's major worries, though Cannes did not seem to be attempting any goalkeepers during the January transfer window.

Valenciennes showed more composure in the last ball and in front of goal, and Mahamat Hissein (16 goals in 27 league games) was deservedly designated as man-of-the-match. Despite this win, it does not look as though Valenciennes have enough games to close the gap and challenge for the National title, but stranger things have happened in French football.

28th February 2004, Stade Ange Casanova (att. 2541).National.

GFCO Ajaccio 1

AS Cannes 1

Goals: Mutiu (0-1, 1), Libbra (1-1, 64).

Shots: GFCO Ajaccio 2(1), AS Cannes 17(6).

A dreadful result for Cannes considering the way the game unfolded. Very one-sided for long stretches, though Cannes' approach play was too often spoilt by impatience, and there were a lot of hopeful long-range shots attempted. And although Toledo collected yet another man-of-the-match award, the finishing was very poor.

And yet, with Valenciennes held to a draw away again, Cannes find themselves nineteen points ahead with only nine games laft, and although mathematically Valenciennes still have a faint chance, it is difficult to see how Cannes could drop that many points over so short a period.

* (note to the reader): that's only a couple of months more than he lasted in real life...

[Tyrone the Magazine]

Still a great story. are you going to be able to resist the temptation of applying for the Marseille job?

[Dark_Soccer]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tyrone the Mag:

Still a great story. are you going to be able to resist the temptation of applying for the Marseille job? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll place a bet he will finally lose his battle with temptation and end up at Marseille!

Nice work OMDave Keep it up

[Kozak]

I expect Dave to stay at Cannes and move to Marseille in our online game when his little brother get sacked .

[OMDave]

Cheers, Tyrone and Dark_Soccer. Though I'm afraid (and it really does pain me to say this ) Kozak is right about this one. If I leave Cannes now, most of the plot -such as it is, and I don't really have a clue where it's going, to be honest- is rendered obsolete. And besides, I'm not at all sure they'd give Le Spliff the job; he is still 'unproven' at this stage in his career...

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -dated 2nd March 2004.

After we lost for the first time in the league, at the end of January, I had a feeling our second defeat wouldn't be too long in coming. Only this time it was a reasonably fair reflection of the game, and a result which paradoxically didn't worry me too much at all. With our three main central defenders unavailable, and Sacha [Filimonov] still far from performing the way I'd hoped he would when I signed him, we were always going to let in a goal or two, and once again we were left to rue too many missed chances...

But the big new this month for us was that we're through to the Quarter-Final of the French Cup, and we've been granted another lucky draw: we play Toulon away, in a game which is almost a derby. A decent side in the early eighties, they're now rotting away in the CFA and looked doomed to mediocrity for years to come. And so the dream goes on, amplified by the thought that we stand a more than reasonable chance of reaching the Semi-Final. In any case, our next Cup game will be the highlight of my career so far, and hopefully it will not end in bitter disappointment. The lads are as determined as I am to see to it that it does not, and from now on we'll be fielding our first (available) eleven in Cup ties.

Which shouldn't prevent us from obtaining the National title this season. Anything is possible, of course, but dropping nineteen points in nine games just doesn't seem possible, particularly given the way the team has performed all the way through the season. Besides, this is assuming that Valenciennes win all their remaining games. If anything, the gap will widen a little more as we have a relatively easy run-in ahead of us.

Not celebrating quite yet, but I'd put my house on it if I had one of my own...

[OMDave]

Game reports and team news (source: 'Bocca Vera!' fanzine, first two weeks of March).

3rd March 2004.

Laurent Mohellebi tore a groin muscle in training, and his unavailability is estimated at around two months.

6th March 2004, La Bocca (att. 2555). National.

AS Cannes 2

Romorantin 1

Goals: Baradji (0-1, 19), Toledo (1-1, 27), Diawara (2-1, 36).

Shots: AS Cannes 24(11), Romorantin 1(1).

The scoreline flattered the visitors, and the manager was clearly unhappy about the fact that their goal came from the only chance they had in the whole game. But as ever, the essential was done by half-time, and it's another three points in the bag for Cannes, who are getting closer and closer to securing an all-important promotion spot.

Toledo was yet again designated by the 'Bocca Vera!' team as the best player on the pitch, and on a less positive note centre-half Jorge Vargas damaged his heel and will be out for about a week.

12th March 2004.

Sacha Filimonov announced that he had put in an official request to be placed on the transfer list. This follows reports that the Russian goalkeeper had recently been reprimanded by his manager on several occasions during post-match team talks.

When asked what his response to the request had been, manager David Le Spliff was brief and to the point:

"He's not leaving before the summer, for the simple reason that we cannot at this time recruit any players. Once our season is over and the transfer window opens, he is free to do as he pleases, but until then I expect him to fulfil his contract with the utmost professionalism."

13th March 2004, Stade Jacques Mayol (att. 2804). French Cup Quarter-Final.

Toulon (CFA) 0

As Cannes (Nat) 2

Goals: Toledo (0-1, 40; 0-2, 62).

Shots: Toulon 5(3), AS Cannes 9(5).

For the seventeenth time in his thirty-one starts for the club, Toledo Róbson was man-of-the-match. Early on in the game Cannes were on the back foot, and Filimonov was decisive on a couple of occasions, but soon their superior technical ability enabled them to reassert their usual control of proceedings. All in all it was a logical result, despite the good fight put up by Toulon.

On the same day, Cannes were officially promoted to Ligue 2 football, with just over two months remaining in the National season. Valenciennes were held to a goalless draw away to Angoulême, and have slipped down to third.

14th March 2004.

The draw was made for the Semi-Finals of the French Cup, and Cannes rode their luck once again as they avoided the two potential opponents from the Ligue 1. They will play at home to Mulhouse, the amateur minnows from the CFA who have taken everyone by surprise this year. The other semi-final is the greatest rivalry in French football; Olympique de Marseille vs. Paris Saint-Germain. Both games will take place on 24th April 2004.

[Terk]

it's back \o/

promotion \o/

cup semi-final \o/

[OMDave]

Cheers Simon Going pretty well, yes -it was uncanny the way L1 teams dropped off like flies in the Cup, and I just kept getting the easiest possible draws...At this stage I was dreaming of an OM-Cannes final, as you can imagine

Diary entry (source: David Le Spliff's personal diary) -dated 15th March 2004.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to retain any sort of focus on the here-and-now, and no matter how much I try to convince the players otherwise, our season is a huge success already as things stand. I think the locals are as shocked by what has happened over the past nine months as I am. It is as though an invisible, metaphorical and all-powerful hand had been removing every obstacle in our path, one by one, until we found ourselves further up than we had ever imagined we might climb, in the dazed euphoria of this suddenly rarefied air.

I suppose these are the times when players, coaches and managers most clearly realize that football is so much more than a job, and why they got into it in the first place. Hopes. Aspirations. Dreams that can happen. It can still go wrong, I know, but what we've done so far can't be taken away from us, and that's a nice thought to hold on to just this minute...

I've more or less given up on finding out what happened to Toledo that night at the Ambassadeur. I see the Bertuzzi brothers at every home game, and it's always the same shrug and apologetic smile -nothing new, not much we can do, a lot of work for a gendarme in this town...Why do I always get the impression that Grégoire, the older one of the two and capitaine, is laughing at me beneath his outgoing, jovial sollicitude? His younger brother, the sous-lieutenant, never speaks other than to say hello, always seems in a hurry to get back to the stands -where nothing much happens before the game kicks off, I'm sad to say, but then La Bocca is hardly the Vélodrome...

Auguste, our technician and all-purpose repairman, came into my office this afternoon and handed me a video tape, smiling broadly.

"A gift" he said, and winked. For a moment I was slightly worried, but I put it on my desk and thanked him, telling him I'd watch it this evening, which I have.

The tape is now playing for the third time, a ninety-minute compilation of the best passages of play in our home games, filmed by Auguste himself. I had no idea he'd been preparing it, and I can honestly say it's one of the best gifts I've ever received. Though I'll confess I found it unsettling to see myself giving instructions from in front of the dugout -no wonder the players take the pïss out of me about it; I look like the clowns who wave in airplanes on the runways -stiff and solemn and somewhat incongruous...