FM 2019 HIDDEN PPMs (Humor)

[FrazT]

Let's keep on topic please, guys.

[fmonit]

4 hours ago, FrazT said:

Let's keep on topic please, guys.

Thanks for removing the comments.

[roykela]

- Likes to bring controlled ball over the line for a corner kick (GK ppm).

[Svenc]

A couple non-hidden classics that were taken out a few versions back due to legal reasons…  (same as any "unprofessional" behavior)  

 

[MrPompey]

 - watches team mate shoot and miss target but still runs into box looking for rebound

 - chase opposition player with ball with 2-3 team mates leaving opposition attackers un-marked

 - when finishing stat = >15 miss 99% of one -on-ones

 - if striker playing AI manager score first one-on-one opportunity when finishing < 10

[fmonit]

"clears ball in own net"

 

[FrazT]

GK- likes to stand rooted to the spot while a deflection from a defender rolls into the goal right next to him

[eple]

Enjoys a few 15-hour goal droughts each season

[Hovis Dexter]

Waits until transfer window has closed and immediately announces that he needs to leave for first team football

[Tom Ashley]

Here are a few I've seen goalkeepers display:

Uses Long Throw To Give Possession To Opponent

Dwells On Mistakes

Falls Down Often

Knocks Ball Past Goal Line

 

[rdbayly]

Applauds own incompetence 

Likes to switch ball to the car park 

Refrains from taking instructions 

Plays a 6.4 whenever possible 

Tries to misunderstand offside trap

Likes to find keeper 

 

[zlatanera]

- Likes to receive ball with back to goal in opposition half, dribble backwards until behind own defensive line - slowly - and then be tackled. 

- Finds sympathy for an injury to be the ultimate insult

[oblongata21]

-Shoots with power at own goal during opposition corners

-Clears ball off goal line into woodwork (and back into the goal)

-Clears ball into keeper/teammates backside (and scores own goal)

[plcarlos]

 - Refuses to cross when in space - Especially during corner (When ball is cleared and returned to corner taker in 10-15 yards of clear space)

- Crosses to far post\head height regardless of settings.

[GianniM]

Walks away at throw-in (just while the ball is thrown at him)

[thomas_e]

13 hours ago, zlatanera said:

- Finds sympathy for an injury to be the ultimate insult

This made me laugh 

[~adma~]

Rarely attempts to go for loose ball

Shoots directly at players rather than directly at goal

Aims to pass ball back towards own goal irrelevant of attacking situation

Will stop ball dead and will stand still with it

Will turn back on opposition rather than try to go past or pass in an attacking manor

[fmonit]

"Doesn't take into account transfer windows when deciding on transfer offer"

My player decided to accept an outgoing transfer offer to Germany after the EPL deadline.

Which means I only had money for his substitute once he left and my transfer window was closed.

[M0n3y]

Eats red cards for breakfast

Prefers to mark teammate instead of the opposition

[Piperita]

'Uses height for low shots'

I have a tower of a striker with Jumping Reach 19. I build my system around crosses and other methods to get him to use this aerial superiority. In his first season he scored fifteen times after crosses or corners. All after low passes to the short corner. 

I have to admit, it made me chuckle. 

-----------

'Will never get his deserved respect'

Most BBM and some BWM. My workhorses winning balls, securing hyper aggressive fullbacks, giving options at both boxes. Often my most important players on the pitch. Barely get recognises. Ratings stay at essentially the starting value. Reserve players fight for their places because they 'don't deliver'. The media keeps pestering me why I didn't sub them. 

Big upside: I can keep them longer because virtually no interest from outside. 

---------------

'Decides games'

My BPD. Four deciding goals, six assist, six critical mistakes. 

----------------

'Can not control passes'

Baumann. 9 First touch and average concentration are NOT good for SweepeR Keepers in a very narrow, very patient game from the back. In 75 games against Bayern I had about thrice the chances but his mistakes caused nearly 2 conceded goals per game. 

------------------

'Does not understand his place'

My team only had one average winger and plenty of good MC. So I decided to sell him to play a narrow system. Naturally he asked for a meeting where I told him he didn't fit my system. He was livid, telling me I didn't even give him a chance. So I relented and played him as a really aggressive fullback. He was delivering so I decided to keep him. But then he was complaining about his retraining. After that was sorted out, he was angry about my new striker who had winger as secondary position. Even when I assured him they weren't competition, he was not convinced and shortly afterwards demanded a key player contract. 

By then I had enough and instead of a first teamer in a Champion's League team he was benchwarmer in a mid-class English team before touring Europe on loan. After four years of that he returned for peanuts on a scrap contract. 

[Mrlee.1986]

Ahh this takes me back 😂

I guess some things haven’t changed much since 2016

[leovii]

'bites opposition players occasionally'

'attempts bicycle kicks inside own area'

'does not track back'

'has a smoke at half time'

[yipster1986]

One for GK

'Looks the other way when opponent takes a shot'

[RPM_01]

- Heads the ball out of play when in loads of space

[phantom9in]

-NEVER shoot on target(Any Striker I get even if he is a 40 goal a season guy)

-ALWAYS get red card for two foot tackle(even when Aggressive and tackle are both below 6)

-Never make a good pass(Passing 17+)

[Johnleegriffin]

Likes to Pass to opposition keeper.

likes to shoot when 11 players are in the way

likes to tackle the ball to start opposition counter attacks.  

Aims for cross bar

Aims to always get a 6 rating

 

 

 

 

[jjglvz]

Head Ball Forward Towards No Teammates Instead Of Just Chesting It Down

(Gk) Freeze In Terror When Ball In Area

Make Highlights Appear (when you're a goal up), Make Highlights Never Appear (when you're a goal down)

In Awe Of Messi

 

[nie jem frytek]

- Gets Injured After Last Substitution

[Tom Ashley]

Marks Corner Flag Tightly

Avoids Scoring Goals (especially for high-salaried strikers)

Hugs Opponent In Penalty Area

Looks For Fouls Rather Than Attempting To Mark Opponent

Plays Short Simple Penalty Kicks

 

[wkdsoul]

Refuses to share set-piece duties.

[CityAndColour]

"Relies on other centre half to mark lone striker"

Unfortunately all of my central defenders seem to have this one.

[Hovis Dexter]

every other month wants a new contract to reflect his ability only to be told there's plenty of time left on his existing contract.

[Zardoz]

for MFs

- wait with killer ball until forward is offside

for Forwards

- run early in channel and turn back just when pass is played