The Evolving Story of DUNVEGAN CASTLE FC

[phnompenhandy]

Thanks to a last-minute equaliser by Max McFadden, we drew 2-2 with Lochar. Being only the second time in thirty games we hadn’t won, it felt a bit weird despite Thistle being three tiers above us. Owing to further confusion regarding Under 18 games, we had to patch up a few players to go out again three days later down at Bo’ness near the Big Smoke of Edinburgh. The Lochar people briefly mentioned before they left that after the Bo’ness game the competition continues; honestly, we have no idea what it’s about. Will we be drawn and have to play the next round a day later? I don’t know how to prepare.

Nice enough place, Bo'ness. We were all glad to get back to our lochs and mountains, though.

 

While we were off down south, Reegan brought his new intake. Bad timing, especially as we don’t have any Under 18s staff, but the skeletal staff at home took care of them and had them play our leftovers, nominally termed the Under 18s team.

We beat Bo’ness Athletic easily enough, 4-1 while the youth candidates went down 1-3 to the Under 18s. Reegan confirmed a couple were well off the pace and felt little confidence in a few others. The next day I set up a 7-a-side game to make some judgements myself. We then kept fourteen back for a full week of evaluation.

I was taken aback at the end of the week when I was left to negotiate their contracts. This time we had to give those 15-year-olds on youth contracts a minimum of £130 per month, but some that I was highly tentative about anyway demanded full time contracts on silly money. Nine signed up quick enough, but five more were annoying me and I had a league match to prepare for, so I left them to mull things over. Someone at the club released to the press a list on ‘elite scholars’, but in my mind it’s not the final list. It depends on whether the five greedy ones see reason.

Hang on, the list is incomplete, and the photos haven't been done yet!

Edited January 13, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Amidst the confusion, we only drew that game with Stornoway AFC 1-1. Later in the evening I caught a message informing me we’d won that Cup Winner’s Shield – Bo’ness had beaten Lochar. A trophy for the club’s and my record I suppose, but I still don’t know what the heck it was about. Ahead of the massive tie with East Stirlingshire, we had a league game at Eriskay to negotiate.

finally I get to show you the ground in the right context!

 

 

Our lead in the league was so healthy, I figured I’d try out some of the new kids – the ones who had signed forms anyway. I say some – ten. I started ten of our new kids in an away league game. I could have been done for disrespecting the integrity of the competition had we lost, given Eriskay are fighting relegation – but we won. A 3-1 victory with a hat-trick from a kid named Lee Campbell in a generally decent team performance saw us officially promoted with six games to spare.

Of course, the reason I played the kids was that three days later we had the big game and I wanted our first team wrapped up in cotton wool. So key player Zach Mauchin got nobbled in a training game and was out of the match.

 

Edited January 13, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

And so we arrived at Falkirk Stadium – ohmigod. Home of Falkirk, hosted Premier League football – you could see from Hugh’s expression how he was dreaming. "Six million, Hugh. It cost six million. But that was a few years ago, yes. You own the land on Skye Hugh - maybe it's not too far away. This will be us – one day. Soon."

The match? Oh, we rose to the occasion. 2-2 at full time - we kept going. Still 2-2 after extra time - we'd even goaded one of their players into getting sent off. And the penalty shoot out - we were fatigued by then. We had to rely on some of the new kids who'd come on very late to take the penalties and they didn't let us down. We're in the final! That game against Lowlands super-club The Spartans (looking certs for the promotion playoffs into League Two) will be three weeks after our season closes, but that's a problem for another day.

 

Edited January 13, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Got the wavering youths down on youth contracts - here's the full list. Three characters t keep an eye on.

As March closed, Rendall dropped points, leaving us all-but mathematically certain of the title. Having got away with it already, I took the same kids who’d beaten Eriskay up to Orkney to play Stromness. They were in the same boat as Eriskay, just a point above the relegation zone. It wasn’t the greatest game, but that 2-2 draw achieved by the new kids in the pouring rain handed us the title. We’re champions!

 

I thought it was the treble. I'm really not getting that pointless competition we won a few weeks back.

Edited January 13, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[kicker31]

this is a super enjoyable read!

[phnompenhandy]

We beat Kirkwall Accies 2-1 at home. I played the full first team to keep them match fit for the cup final, but they were clearly if understandably complacent. I decided to keep them fit by having them play Under 18 friendlies while finishing the season – four matches against midtable sides - with hungrier players. It was really great having the luxury of six competitive matches to assess the new kids; we won all of them. And, in the penultimate game, who should make his return ….

 

Ji Ji Ji! The Highland Haaland! 

[phnompenhandy]

1 hour ago, kicker31 said:

this is a super enjoyable read!

Thanks, that means a lot

[phnompenhandy]

In the meantime, with the title sealed and forward planning in motion, I tapped Hugh up again. Insist, insist.

 

More first team coaches (whom I'll recruit over the summer when people have finished their contracts)  and Junior Coaching too. When I've got time (in the close season) I'll dig around and see how we compare against higher rep clubs. I'm also going to do a deep dive into the statistics to assess my squad - just got that final to see to first.

Edited January 14, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

He's back! Back to what he does! It's like he never went away 

 

[phnompenhandy]

In this new system, the silly score lines have gone

Goals scored down, and goals conceded very down. No more clown shows. We've gotten mature. The general pattern bears this out

That's where we want to be, and that's where we want to stay.

 

This though. Worst injury record in the league. We've got the squad to cope now, but I don't want to be breaking these young boys - we'll be going forward with a smarter training schedule.

Edited January 14, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

If these new kids are battle-ready already, it does suggest we have the squad depth to cope with bi-weekly games next season even if it will be at a higher level. In the three weeks we had together before the final, we tried many combinations of positions within our 4-3-3 structure. Initially I’d marked one new lad as having first team potential and a few others as back-ups, but the more I saw of them in training and league matches, the more I shifted to considering four for the first team. I also played musical chairs with the three midfield spots and might have hit on a better formula. All will be revealed very soon.

Heaven: the venue of the Challenge Cup Final has been announced – the Jewel of the Highlands: The Caledonian Stadium in Inverness. THAT is our model for the future.

If there's a break in play, cast your eyes over the Moray Firth, where dolphins friskily play in the waters.

The Spartans have lost to Formartine in the two-legged playoff to claim the right to face the bottom team in League Two in a two-legged play-off. I was hoping Spartans would go all the way, maybe distracting themselves from our match. As it is, they now have plenty of time to pick themselves up and prepare for the match.

 

Edited January 14, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Gairloch are following us up the leagues, joined by Rendall from Orkney

 

We'll be playing in the Highlands and Islands Championship, tier 8. It's a bit of a misnomer - only us, Rendall and Ness from the Western Isles who went up last year are on islands, and most of the others are in Caithness - Flow Country - not exactly highland! We'll fly the flag for both geographical descriptions.

Three sides from around Inverness will join us. There's a bit of a glass ceiling here - the three promoted sides are southies that came down last season. Lewis & Harris and Maryburgh finished in the last two places in the North Caledonian League, and Stonehaven second-bottom of the league they were promoted into. It's down to us alone to fly the Highland lower league flag, then.

[Jack Sarahs]

Great read and great stuff! @phnompenhandy

Love to see the depth you're going into and I'll be following along for the rest of the series!

[phnompenhandy]

57 minutes ago, Jack Sarahs said:

Great read and great stuff! @phnompenhandy

Love to see the depth you're going into and I'll be following along for the rest of the series!

Thanks Jack. Means a lot coming from you.

[phnompenhandy]

We trained, we played practice matches, we had a friendly against Hearts B, in the same league and similar quality to The Spartans and drew 3-3. But at the same time as keeping the first team fit and match sharp, I spent all my time doing a deep-dive with Liam and the coaching team into the metrics – analysing in crazy detail how every player has performed this season and what we feel their potential is going forward.  As a result, we resolved as soon as the season was over to release a handful of players and develop a scientifically-based new formation and tactic designed to play to the optimal strengths of the players individually and collectively.

The day before the final we lost Mosson to a training ground accident. Ollie Penrice had to be rushed into the starting line-up even though he had not fully recovered from knee-nack. When the big match commenced, in front of over 2500 spectators, we went at them, not allowing ourselves to be overawed. Soon we found ourselves 0-4 down. But we came back at them in the second half and pulled it back to 3-4, a most commendable result, neutrals agreed. So, we went down, but went down fighting, with our integrity and dignity intact.

[phnompenhandy]

Let’s get the negatives out of the way first. We released some players – Finn Allen started 2 games in 2 years and wasn’t progressing. We had too many central defenders to give adequate game time to: Neilson started once in 2 years; Hamilton was not that bad and should find another club albeit at amateur level. McCulloch was the same – okay, but our 4^th/5^th WBR.  Then there were McLennan, McIntosh, King, the promising Mansell and sadly Stan Duncanson after playing 33 games for us – they were all just too greedy in their contract demands for back up players, so I released them. We retain a squad of 32 which feels about right providing we don't repeat this year's injury crisis.

Regarding the analysis of the players, I could take pages going through it all but I'll just present some key highlights.

13 of these players who started 7 or more games were consistently high-quality across the season and will be our first team squad next season (plus Henstridge).

The strikers are carrying us up the leagues - don't see them drying out in the next tier either.

On the other hand, these players have the lowest win rate and will need to work very hard to justify themselves

Edited January 16, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The primary metrics we use are called the "FM Stag baseline metrics" which allow us to assess our players against a universal standard. See here:

With our two best strikers, you can see that in both cases (but especially Ji) they don't need a whole lot of chances; they both behave more like deadly poachers even though neither are given that role. As long as both are fit, I'll keep them playing up top together.

Kyle here has been equally outstanding as an inside forward and shadow striker, allowing us to switch systems.

Now Max here was our #1 shadow striker in the first season, but Kyle has developed so well, Max has lost his spot. Yet my feeling is he's too good to be an understudy and might well be a regular starter further back in central midfield.

Edited January 16, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Nathan is our midfield key. He's very versatile and can excel in various midfield positions, but I need him to be our playmaker. The question is, does he start in deep midfield or central midfield? He's great in both positions so it depends on the overall structure we build.

Also in midfiled, this Austrian-Scot from Skye who just came to us from Portree High intrigues me. He hasn't done much so far, but I believe if I can find the right role for him, he could be immense.

Edited January 16, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

We've been plagued by conceding far too many goals for nearly two years until the last few weeks. A look at our central defenders is revealing.

Our best pairing is Logan Grant with Andrew Lind

What this tells me is that both defenders individually have played very well. And when I look at problematic Hugo Brown's data, I'm surprised - he's performing far better than I thought.

I have to conclude the players are not the problem - my system is/ systems are. Although I seemed to have sorted it late on, I'm going to change it yet again.

 

 

 

[phnompenhandy]

Wingbacks - Zach here is an attacking wingback all day long, but fill in at left wing when our inside left is unavailable.

It's on the right side  I have a quandry. Aiden has been first choice for two years, but new boy Ricki excels at those skills our other defenders haven't got - defending!

[phnompenhandy]

I tried to take the results and extrapolate what system could optimise our best players' main strengths. The best are strikers -  Stevenson back with Mosson up top, with Lucas McCormick and Lee Campbell as back up, our best player Kyle Grimm in his deadliest role, and a structure to support them. That would involve Nathan Smith in his preferred role, a back four with wingbacks, different duties on the left and right, and the trickiest bit - finding the right two roles and duties in central midfield. What we came up with looks weird on paper, but I'm going to trial it further throughout preseason (probably trying Blucher out in different positions and roles if the wingback doesn't overlap him successfully or the space in midfield proves problematic). Here it is - the Wonky Diamond:

[phnompenhandy]

They're giving it as a treble here!

 

I'll need to get a bigger bathroom cabinet

Edited January 16, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I don't like this - Hugh has taken a populist turn. A bunch of casuals now dominate the board's thinking

And they're now pressuring Hugh to tell me how to play football

Will they ever get off my back? I finally get the goals conceded down to near the xGC and they don't even acknowledge that

Meh, I'm off to enjoy a well-earned break. I'm whacked!

[phnompenhandy]

I'm leaving this in Hugh's capable (and prosperous) hands though. Lovely.

[phnompenhandy]

Fair weather praise from fair weather supporters. Yeh.

 

[phnompenhandy]

For those following events in outer space:

[phnompenhandy]

Here in Scotland, our neighbours in Inverness survived in the top flight - just

And Queens Park reach the promised land! while our other neighbours suffer a double-relegation

 

Heroes in the Highland League - after Formartine beat Spartans, they went on to reach SPF League Two by defeating Stenhousemuir!

While nothing happened yet again in the North Caledonian League

 

[phnompenhandy]

DISASTER HAS STRUCK!!

While everyone is on holiday through June, news has broken that our chairman and owner Hugh McLeod has been arrested in Israel, apparently on charges of fraud. I was contacted while basking on a Thai beach by his lawyer, informing me that in order to avoid assets being requisitioned, Hugh has rapidly divested as much as he can to his son Vincent.  Vincent, who's 23 and living in London, has little interest in his father's affairs in Skye. It's not clear what he'll do with Dunvegan castle - the ancestral home, but he will require me to leave the free accommodation forthwith. The lawyer is quite sure, however, that Vincent has no interest in the football club and is certain to call in the loans of his father, amounting to over £1 million. New staff will now not be appointed, and I'm to ensure the wage bill is drastically cut by offering every player to other clubs as we revert to amateur status as soon as is contractually feasible.

Further news as it breaks.....

Edited January 17, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Nearly all the coaching staff have taken their qualifications and jumped ship, leaving me with just Gavin Rae and Paul Phillips along with Reegan Fotheringham out Head of Youth who doesn’t take a salary anyway. Duncan Shearer has retired. Nicola McIntyre our Sports Scientist has also elected to stay for now. Our minimally-qualified Under 18s medical team – Molly Wilson and Ali Smith are aware they won’t get much of a wage elsewhere on Skye and are staying.

As the news leaked out back on Skye, I was bombarded with messages from players asking why they were being offered to other clubs. I barely had the energy to respond, knowing most of them will fare better than I will. I gathered myself together and glumly prepared to fly back to face the music in time for the transfer window opening.

The first loss was our outstanding striker Louis Mosson. Ross County took him for free. Others followed to new clubs or accepted terminations, confident in finding new clubs. As we crossed into July and the start of preseason, we had a squad of 17 players, generally still here because they had fat contracts.

When the friendlies commenced. We rolled out the new Wonky Diamond – it worked well with the players we had left. Many were fatigued due to a lack of substitutes. We can still put out a strong First Eleven with some decent substitutes at the moment. Despite things looking relatively healthy on the pitch, we are in a death spiral.

 

 

I'm presumably being kept on by Vincent because I'm not on a wage.  However, a wealthy family want to rent the cottage I'm living in, so I have to leave before next weekend. I've set up a camp bed in my office in the training centre. He's taking the Land Rover back too. I don't think I'm going to be here much longer.

Edited January 17, 2023 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The Highlands & Islands FA have requested written confirmation along with financial statements as evidence from Vincent that the club can fulfil its fixtures this season. I understand that the football club is the least of his worries, with his father being further changed in London and New York with cryptocurrency scams. We're being wound up, folks. This is the end of the road.

I'll be back with a new save, but Dunvegan Castle has tragically devolved into extinction.