phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) Prologue I have a confession that I have to get off my chest, so for a mercenary, I’m going to be oddly frank with you from the outset. Full disclosure - I'm a fraud. I'm not a real football manager. I'm a mere armchair football fan and FM player. In this story, I'm a boring accountant in a company owned by the chairman of a hapless amateur club who can't find anyone to be their next manager. He won't let me loose on much - initially, I only pick team and tactics. Coaches run their training sessions until I get my first badge. The Director of Football (aka Head of Human Resources in the chairman's firm or the chairman himself if the club doesn't have a DoF) is in charge of all ins/outs. However, I have persuaded the chairman I understand the Moneyball philosophy. The DoF isn't convinced, though. After the first season if I prove myself, I'll be able to discuss and be consulted but the DoF will still make final decisions. Set-up and rules With my rickety old PC I can just about manage 41 leagues from the 5 nations of the UK & Ireland We have all players (42K) but we don’t add players to playable teams. Processing speed is 3.5 Lower league databases used: Scotland - Mozza's 'The (Real Life) Full Scottish Pyramid' to Level10 England - Leo Messi's 'England Level 10 League & Data Updates' but only down to Level 8 due to the limitations of my rig Wales - 'Evo's Builds - Welsh League down to Level 7' N. Ireland - TheFMEditor Northern Irish Database FM23 to Level 7 Rep of Ireland - Hesht's 'League of Ireland 9 Tier System' Skin - I've merged Flutskin with the new Moneyball23 v1.0, incorporating FM Stag's metrics as revealed though Jack Sarah's @TheCultofFM YouTube series. I holiday until today's date, 17th January 2023. I will target my first job in the Republic of Ireland's ninth tier. Tier 8 or 10 clubs in England and Scotland are nearly all semi-pro and would not contemplate hiring me. The company with which I'm employed as an accountant is in Ireland, and therefore I'm restricted to the county I live and work in, until I'm qualified and experienced enough to get a wage with which I can sustain myself. The Story Begins Talking of which, I am a greedy git. There's only one thing I love more than football, and that's money. I'll do anything, I'll please anyone to get money. I'll give the board and fans whatever they want - playing style, trophies, whatever they want providing it's within my ability - by that I mean within the strictures of my personal and professional DNA. I will always keep an eye on available jobs and apply if they offer more wages - that is the sole criterion that determines whether I stay or move on. I will also haggle for highest wages and bonuses in contract negotiations. I'm not completely dumb though - I know this is a long-game and I won't make a penny until I've proven myself. Lest you think this is just like all the other Journeyman saves - hang on! I'm including Dan Gear's impossible restrictions: As a know-nothing phoney manager, I really do know nothing! I have no access to players' so-called "attributes". I’ll be depending on the staff to do all my recruitment until I build up a reputation in which clubs would realistically give a manager more control. Then, once I'm trusted (i.e. acquired both experience and qualifications), I’ll use stats to identify players to ask the DOF to sign. Starting with no badges or experience, I’ll climb my way to the top one club at a time. I also mentioned manager identity ('DNA') which is something I don't have yet, being a blank sheet, but I intend to find and establish a specific 'brand' to carry forward. When I know what I want, and am entrusted to make more decisions, I will do what I can to mould both recruitment and training to strengthen my style, or 'DNA'. I will cooperate with a technical director to find the right staff, and director of football to find the right players. I will manage training programs myself. I won't do any of that from the outset - no one entrust me with that much responsibility, and I'd be sure to fail if I tried. I'm taking the first step on what will hopefully be a long but fruitful journey. references; Dan Gear European Journeyman Statistics – What does “good” look like in FM23? FM23 | Moneyball Series | No Attributes | Stats Only | Paris FC | E1 Introduction to Moneyball EDIT - The "Impossible Job" proved to be too easy! I abandoned two clubs because we just kept winning. I think I've ht aon a TRULY impossible formula. I go again in a new thread. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) Seriously, not a clue. Look: Edited January 17, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) This will be the limits of my responsibilities: Edited January 17, 2023 by phnompenhandy 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) It's the 17th January - let's see what's available, shall we? The positions are alphabetical order, since the season hasn't started yet. They're all 50/1, rank outsiders. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy I'm an eejit Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vakama2619 Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 Hey mate, do you mind linking the Ireland database? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 44 minutes ago, Vakama2619 said: Hey mate, do you mind linking the Ireland database? I got it from Steam workshop - haven't seen it mentioned anywhere else League of Ireland 9 Tier System.fmf Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carambau Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 Good luck in Ireland Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) The luck of the Oirish - I'll need it - see here: I have a job! Thanks John. You don't want me to meet the staff? No staff. I see. The players then? No players either. And the season starts when? Tomorrow. Right. Where? For real? Ryder’s Field, Quill Rd, Kilmacanogue, Co. Wicklow. Just a half hour bus ride from my rented room and office in Dublin. I've no idea why the 'media' want to meet me here, nor where the changing rooms are! Okkayyyy. This might be trickier than I thought. Edited January 17, 2023 by phnompenhandy 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 How long will this take? In the meantime, I have no choice but to do the jobs I just said I'm utterly incapable of doing. And until I can recruit some actual footballers, the chairman is bussing down a bunch of warehouse boys with no training or experience to represent us in the first few matches. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladis Posted January 17, 2023 Share Posted January 17, 2023 Chairman: "Tomorrow your presentation to the team at the stadium" Me: Expectations Reality Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) @Vladis I'm struggling to process this! Probably helps that I don't have time. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) I Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) The misunderstanding made all the difference. I may be an idiot in the eyes of office boys and warehouse lads, but I needn't trouble them again. I have a squad of footballers. It was exhausting work and the very job I was initially instructed not to do, but until I had a staff, needs must. If we waited until staff were recruited, there wouldn't be any decent players still available. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 17, 2023 Author Share Posted January 17, 2023 (edited) As Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) undefeated in February - good start in my book Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vakama2619 Posted January 18, 2023 Share Posted January 18, 2023 18 hours ago, Vakama2619 said: Hey mate, do you mind linking the Ireland database? Thanks mate, will check this out when I get a new charger, good luck in Ireland Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) Our backroom team is complete, so let me introduce you - Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) * hat-tip to Paul for the faces FMUGens – Newgen Facepack Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) A match in two days and our opponents haven't been chosen yet??? Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) So that cup tie didn't materialise. The next day our Under 21s played a friendly. Afterwards .... Huh? This place is nuts - incompetent doesn't begin to describe it. John's happy with the money though. And I'm not making this up - look. Is this EA Cup played out on FIFA??? Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 18, 2023 Author Share Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) Another team that appears to be struggling is Vee Rovers who play outside Clogheen on the road to Cork. We were probably not the first opponent to miss the turning and rock up late for kick-off. how did we miss the turning? Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Due to the positivity around the club, and the lovely butter banked from the Under 23 successes, John graciously acceded to my semi-serious request; way ahead of schedule, here we are: The implication is if we bank more coin from cup runs, I'll be allowed to try for a National B too, after which I might be let loose of input into our training (if I'm not seduced into another job). Technically, I'll be studying for my C and D licences. I've gained enough coaching experience here at Glencormac to do the 12-hour D course, then it's onto the C course: Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Having played eight league games (and I suppose we should consider the two Kerrygold Cup games), I feel ready to introduce you to the squad. Strap in... Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Left Fullback Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Central Defenders Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Midfield (Defensive) Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Midfield Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 19, 2023 Author Share Posted January 19, 2023 (edited) Major caveat here: Remember, as a real manager, I can't see "attributes" like I could if I were sitting with a laptop playing Football Manager. What I have here are the judgements of my assistant Danny and my coaching staff. I'm nodding away, but in reality not paying overmuch attention to them. The chairman stressed how I need a team around me as I currently know nothing about real-life football and I don't deny that. But let us recall where these guys have come from. We advertised the posts, and they were responded to by some people who work under John, and a bunch of strangers. John's personal assistant emailed me with lists of responders, and even she admitted none of them looked like they had adequate experience. I was asked if we should wait longer, but I figured we needed to get a team in fast, as the season start was bearing down and players were dribbling in already. I reasoned that if better-quality people apply later, we can always let amateur staff go and replace them with upgrades (well Marc the Director of Football can, and we already know we do not see eye-to-eye on much). So let's be clear about this - the only information I have is from people who are barely less clueless than I am - and my eyes. So currently, my match squad and tactical decisions are mainly based on my own judgement from what I see on the football pitch. When I watch the training sessions, I see nothing I can honestly praise, and quite a lot I would criticise, but that would undermine the coaching staff and I feel like I need to be very selective when I do that. So I keep schtum and leave them to it, suspecting that with the absence of resources, it wouldn't make a shred of difference. It's only by playing competitive matches that the boys will increase their grasp of my tactics and play better together. I've tailored my tactics to avoid wearing them out anyway. I have no doubt in my mind that this job is a stepping-stone, the first rung on a ladder. If I stay, we could rise to be a big shot in the Irish amateur football world, but never more than that. I'll never make a name for myself - or any money. But it's the perfect place for me to quietly learn my trade and position myself to jump whenever a post with a modest salary is dangled before me. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 20, 2023 Author Share Posted January 20, 2023 (edited) this x100 Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 20, 2023 Author Share Posted January 20, 2023 (edited) Fourth wall breaker: it's interesting that in my other saves, which are always youth-only academy challenges, even when I have an equally good month, the fans in particular never give me more than a C+. Maybe they're just a nicer bunch in Ireland. Hmm. Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
phnompenhandy Posted January 20, 2023 Author Share Posted January 20, 2023 (edited) Seven games in and a picture is emerging Edited January 23, 2023 by phnompenhandy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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