OCD ruining football manager - anyone had similar?

[Lukecr1]

ood morning

I have suffered with OCD in a variety of forms since I was around 14. It started of with the typical checking doors/lights were off to remembering specific things that were said to general obsessing over a variety of areas. To unwind I love to play FM but OCD has managed to get it self embedded in here so badly that one of my key hobbies is no longer enjoyable in the same way it once was. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced similar or had any advice? Any imput very gratefully recieved.

There are a number of areas the OCD has managed to infiltrate and have an impact including:

1) Loading a new game requires a huge amount of checking to make sure all the little details are accurate - I also take photos of each screen to make sure and refer back to. If it is not loaded correclty or a button is clicked in the wrong way I have to stop and restart the process all over again. This can possibly last for hours - and has gone on for days.

2) I cannot load a game with a team where the number 13 is invloved in any format - ie they finished 13th last year/13000 season ticket holders/13 years since a trophy as this would be bad lukc and could lead to some form of unspecified doom outside of the game.

3) Choosing a team to manage is an almost imposible task as the OCD links some form of bad luck or possible catastrophy to nearly any reason it so chooses - could be negative things that have happened managing that team outside of the game in the past/the sponsor of that team being linked to something that could be negative - ie finance linked to bankruptcy and that is an omen for me - or if the sponsor is a broadband company this is negative and I worked for one and had a bad experience and this could be triggered with my current role.

I am off work this week using some annual leave and had wanted to start an new game but the OCD will not let me and feels like such a wasted day. Today is the anniversary of one of my wifes friends passing away and the OCD wont let m eload it today as it would always be the game that was loaded on the anniversary of her best friend passing.

Thank you so much to anyone who made it to the end of my rambling and any imput very happily recieved.

 

Take care all, Luke

[danej]

Perhaps the OCD is a general problem and not particularly related to FM. Perhaps seek out psychological treatment if you can afford something of decent quality.

 

And/or educate yourself on relevant matters, get ideas for tweaks you can try out regarding how you live your life. "Psychology Today" stands out to me as a great source. Most of their stuff has good quality and you can Google their content, e.g. like the links below.

 

From what your write it seems like you have some personality traits, or whatever one could call it, that are bad for you and that positive change would do you well. Easier said than done of course, complex stuff. But on the other hand chances of growth and improved quality of life should be good if you are motivated to experiment with changes and possible seek qualified help.

 

https://www.google.com/search?q="psyhology+today"+ocd&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&source=android-home&sxsrf=AB5stBj-aOstF2kL7W21fGbfjNwPkpnCXA%3A1689080482752&source=hp&ei=olKtZPWzKY6jkdUP-NSaiA0&oq="psyhology+today"+ocd&gs_lcp=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&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp

 

 

https://www.google.com/search?q="psychology+today"+obsessive+compulsive+personality+disorder&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sxsrf=AB5stBiNBlmso0HP8-HNwTOqitafkaw3Rw%3A1689080550897&ei=5lKtZOytNtKIxc8P38SO6A4&oq="psychology+today"+obsessive+compulsive+personality+disorder&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyBAgAEB4yBQgAEKIEMgUIABCiBDIFCAAQogQyBQgAEKIEOgoIABBHENYEELADOgYIABAHEB5KBAhBGABQtg1Y6FNg2FxoAXABeACAAc8BiAHHBJIBBTAuMy4xmAEAoAEBwAEByAEI&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

[Draakon]

I'm not so sure if FM is the best option in case of such OCD. The game gives players a certain illusion of control over things (game, club, football players) in a sandbox environment, but the game has flaws and there are plenty of things that could shatter or disrupt that illusion and hence make the player even more anxious and frustrated, trying to get things RIGHT in the video game environment. That might happen if you try several times, or may not.

A lot of video games in general give players the illusion of control. A lot of gamers play video games to feel in control of the things, because inside they feel lack of control over their actual life, so it's easier to switch off for a couple of hours (or longer) and close himself mentally into the video game environment where you feel in control. Here's a trap included, because staying in virtual environment longer and longer could make a person to push aside and neglect his real life problems.

So, what seems to me that for a person with OCD there could be some positive sides in this, giving yourself some time in controlled environment that releases some anxiety and pressure, but only when it's not counterproductive, as described above.

 

*disclaimer - I'm not psychology professional, so read everything that I wrote with caution

[jmb1403]

I have had OCD my whole life and was only diagnosed with it a few years ago alongside Depression and Anxiety.

I take medication for my anxiety which has been a godsend for me but it affects people differently.

My OCD doesn't seem to be as extreme as yourself but I do get intrusive thoughts mainly aimed at my family dying etc (to which I have compulsions to stop it happening, although I know it's stupid, I cannot take the risk)

Odd numbers are an issue for me although 15, 25 etc are fine weirdly. As with FM I do find that whenever I play FM if my team is playing I have to make sure the cursor is on the side where my team are Home or Away.

I also had therapy for my OCD and although I still get problems, I always use this in life, for example, if i do have triggers I know its just my OCD.

[PAFC_Dugout]

On 12/07/2023 at 06:57, Draakon said:

Here's a trap included, because staying in virtual environment longer and longer could make a person to push aside and neglect his real life problems.

 

 feels like a personal attack, I am triggered 😂

[Draakon]

10 hours ago, PAFC_Dugout said:

 feels like a personal attack, I am triggered 😂

I thought that all gamers are well aware of this and accept it as a (somewhat) bad habit

On a more serious note: if a person has severe OCD, locking himself to this controlled environment could be more hurtful and counter-productive for him in long term than it might be in the case of 'normal' people. What I've seen about people who have some sort of mental disorders (for example: asperger, autism etc.) there's a fine balance between creating a safe space where a person could "hide" and recharge his mental battery, and facing the real world, challenging himself and coping with his anxiety so that he could get on in the real world.

[Gee_Simpson]

I have severe OCD, I've had it since around 8 years old but it has got way more severe the past 10 years or so. Unfortunately my OCD isn't focused on one thing, it affects me in many ways.

Does it affect my FM experience? Massively. This time of year is an absolute nightmare for me, because there is so many transfers happening each day irl, I feel like I can't start a save with the 22/23 squads, even though I want to, as the game feels 'out if date'. I could download an unofficial update but it's not ideal either, they have certain quirks to them. Also what's the point when the game will be out of date tomorrow if I started today.

It also convinces me I'm cheating if I use certain TI's. I can't look at other people's tactics because in case my tactic is similar, it convinces me I'm copying people so therefore can't use that tactic.

I'm planning on starting a Benfica save either tonight or tomorrow. I wanted to sign Vitor Roque, he was my number 1 target but because he has joined Barcelona irl I feel like I can't sign him now. I was supposed to start this save a few months ago and then planned to again last Friday, so it remains to be seen if I will manage it over this weekend. I already told this to @warlock and @sedge11 also knows of my struggles.

Edited July 14, 2023 by Gee_Simpson

[Gee_Simpson]

@Eoin Maguire Also suffers from OCD, and it affects his FM experience too.

[Gee_Simpson]

Oh and @Lukecr1

Guess what date my Birthday falls on 😂

You can PM me if you ever feel like talking about it 👍🏻

Edited July 14, 2023 by Gee_Simpson

[Lukecr1]

Thank you so much for your input and help guys, really is massively appreciated.

 

@Gee_Simpson sounds like our has quite a lot of crossover...I have read quite a bit about exposure therapy and did have CBT for panic attacks back in 2012 as well. Going to give it a go but working up to it 

[priority76]

I can relate as also have OCD.  I think the key as with all things OCD is to do the thing that triggers your anxiety deliberately and endure the discomfort until it goes away.  I also have a thing with certain numbers and while I would previously try to avoid them I now try to pick them first.  It's good to practice sticking your finger up to the voice in your head though it will feel very counter intuitive.

[Lukecr1]

Great point and toally agree...although every fibre in your body is going berserk when the anxiety grows......when I have challenged it it really does subside eventually.......just depends how long you can sit it out 

[danej]

An extra thought on all this - if I remember correctly, there is often a lot of avoidant behavior in OCD, like with anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. Avoiding triggers could be problematic long term. Like you narrow your zone of comfort.

 

I am no expert, and I don't have the answers as to how to do exposure succesfully. Probably highly individual in any case. But I do think that to some extent, long term it would be best to expose oneself somewhat to triggers or whatever to call it. Like with the uncormfort of "breaking the rules". Register the discomfort, but not act on it, not run, not avoid.

 

To some extent at least. It probably can't be too much too fast either.

 

But I would think that an important long term goal would be gradually more exposure, and thus with time gradually enlarging your zone of comfort.

 

Also goes in the game I would guess. Instead of creatning ever more rules/restrictions, perhaps to some extent play game in a way the triggers discomfort. Be in it, endure it. Often the discomfort eventually fades I think, if you endure it long enough. Exposure.

[Gee_Simpson]

4 hours ago, priority76 said:

I can relate as also have OCD.  I think the key as with all things OCD is to do the thing that triggers your anxiety deliberately and endure the discomfort until it goes away.  I also have a thing with certain numbers and while I would previously try to avoid them I now try to pick them first.  It's good to practice sticking your finger up to the voice in your head though it will feel very counter intuitive.

This is something I need to get used to and it has probably set back my recovery. I have never been able to endure the discomfort as it's pretty severe, but I'm trying to make sure I go through with it this time. It affects multiple things with me though, the subject isn't just related to FM. Currently though, because I'm starting a new save, the OCD is really bad. All of a sudden the OCD is saying the tactic I'm using is cheating for some weird reason. It stopped me from playing last night but I'm going to push through it tonight and start.

Also, starting with the 22/23 squads is tough for me, but doing it will be beneficial for me too, so that's what I'm doing.

Edited July 25, 2023 by Gee_Simpson

[priority76]

26 minutes ago, Gee_Simpson said:

I have never been able to endure the discomfort as it's pretty severe, but I'm trying to make sure I go through with it this time

Yeah the way to treat OCD is very simple but very difficult.  Have you had any therapy? If so you'll know you're encouraged to make a hierarchy of things to work through.  Easier said than done though.

[priority76]

4 hours ago, Lukecr1 said:

Great point and toally agree...although every fibre in your body is going berserk when the anxiety grows......when I have challenged it it really does subside eventually.......just depends how long you can sit it out 

When I had therapy, my therapist would tell me feeling anxiety won't kill you but not standing up to it will ruin your life, or something like that.

[Gee_Simpson]

14 minutes ago, priority76 said:

Yeah the way to treat OCD is very simple but very difficult.  Have you had any therapy? If so you'll know you're encouraged to make a hierarchy of things to work through.  Easier said than done though.

Yeah I had therapy before but didn't stick with it. I will be getting it again soon and I'm determined to go through with it this time.

[priority76]

2 hours ago, Gee_Simpson said:

Yeah I had therapy before but didn't stick with it. I will be getting it again soon and I'm determined to go through with it this time.

Well I hope it works out for you.  Sometimes you have to wait till you're ready.  Also if you're starting a new save now, why are you not playing with an updated database?

[Gee_Simpson]

2 minutes ago, priority76 said:

Well I hope it works out for you.  Sometimes you have to wait till you're ready.

Thanks.

4 minutes ago, priority76 said:

Also if you're starting a new save now, why are you not playing with an updated database?

Would you recommend it? Seems most people don't bother. I'm not sure if me wanting things to be up to date is actually an OCD thing or just a general thing that other people get also.

[priority76]

16 hours ago, Gee_Simpson said:

Would you recommend it?

Yes definitely.  I wouldn't play any other way and it's not an ocd thing.  The world of football moves fast and playing with the teams of six months ago feels very out of date.  Also if you happen to be playing in the Scottish Prem I've made all the kits for the new season, I'll pm you the link if interested.

[Gee_Simpson]

1 hour ago, priority76 said:

Yes definitely.  I wouldn't play any other way and it's not an ocd thing.  The world of football moves fast and playing with the teams of six months ago feels very out of date.  Also if you happen to be playing in the Scottish Prem I've made all the kits for the new season, I'll pm you the link if interested.

I'm actually going Benfica. Despite being a Hearts fan I rarely manage in the SPFL.

What update do you use? Pr0 or sortitoutsi?

Edited July 26, 2023 by Gee_Simpson

[priority76]

38 minutes ago, Gee_Simpson said:

I'm actually going Benfica. Despite being a Hearts fan I rarely manage in the SPFL.

What update do you use? Pr0 or sortitoutsi?

Yeah I rarely manage in the SPFL as well, but it's the only league I follow in real life so I like having everything as updated as possible and I enjoy making the kits.  I use the update by pr0.

[Gee_Simpson]

3 hours ago, priority76 said:

Yes definitely.  I wouldn't play any other way and it's not an ocd thing.  The world of football moves fast and playing with the teams of six months ago feels very out of date.  Also if you happen to be playing in the Scottish Prem I've made all the kits for the new season, I'll pm you the link if interested.

Thinking about it, I guess it just depends if it bothers you or not. I did test the pr0 update out and Benfica still have £30m to spend even though they have already bought Kokcu for €25m and Jurasek for €14m irl. I don't really have much use for Jurasek either tbh, he's not great in the game with random attributes which is surprising. The sortitoutsi update has Benfica with £12m to spend, which is probably more realistic.

Both updates have their issues though, with no club really coming in for players because the wage budgets are all spent. Every time I try and sell a player with either update I get a message saying clubs can't afford the wages.