[FM24] Growing Oldham Disgracefully

[DerbyJack]

Slightly late to the party but with months till the next FM, I need a little experiment to keep me sane...

Getting old isn't fun.

Legs feel heavier, reactions get slower, energy reserves lower. Body parts ache, limbs stiffen, joints creak.

This is the harsh reality for anyone entering their latter years but its even more brutal for those elite few playing the beautiful game.

Any player merely entering their early thirties is typically referred to as someone who is in their "twilight years", "past their best" or "over the hill".

Written off when most are just entering their prime, replaced by a flashy wonderkid from South America at the drop of a hat and sent to far away lands to retire into insignificance. 

As someone whose now been playing Football Manager longer then they care to remember, I feel the need to make a change.

It's time for the old boys to take one last stand...

...and where better to do it then with a beleaguered club, down on their luck and on the verge of obscurity.

 

 

With Oldham clinging on to life in the depths of Non-League Football, the goal of this career is to take the Latics back into the Top Flight with one simple philosophy.

We will only be signing players over the grand old age of 30. 

Avoiding the temptation to build a team of teenage future stars, we will instead turn to those who have seen and done it all before as we grind our way back through the Football League.

This is an ode to those not yet ready to fade out of the limelight.

Those players that drive to squeeze every marginal gain out of some of football's oldest legs. 

The defenders who throw bruised bodies into every crunching challenge and the strikers who know that every goal could be their last.

This is how to Grow Oldham disgracefully.

_______

Rule 1: All player signings must be over 30 years old.

_______

With the aim of this career to return Oldham to the very top, there are some very clear steps to take.

1. Have the squads average age over 30

2. Return to the Football League

3. Climb up to the Premier League after 30 long years

4.  Become the oldest average age team to win both the Premier League and FA Cup

5. Become the oldest average age team to lift the Champions League

Edited August 10 by DerbyJack

[Sahaj Oberoi]

Yesssss! The man, the myth, the legend, DerbyJack is back.

Missed your mercenary FM saves.

Will be following this one as well.

[DerbyJack]

Thanks Sahaj! I didn't think anyone would remember those! Much appreciated.

 

The Latics were part of the first Premier League season in 1992-93, before being unceremoniously dumped from the top flight just two seasons later, with the club spiralling ever down-wards over the span of Thirty painful years before an inevitable exit from the Football League capped off one of the most dramatic declines in English football.

Now finding themselves in the Vanarama National League, the days of rubbing shoulders with their illustrious Mancunian neighbours are a long distant memory.

Thankfully, with the club now under the welcome new ownership of local business man and flat cap enthusiast, Frank Rothwell, the Latics can finally begin to build some much missed optimism within Boundary Park as they attempt to crawl their way back into the limelight.

Having taken the time to introduce myself to the sole down-trodden reporter of the Oldham Times, I quickly set about reviewing this beleaguered squad...

With an average age of Twenty Seven, even without my efforts, the squad heading into the National League season as heavy favourites for the title, still has a welcome smattering of experience, with five veteran players already fitting the bill and ready for one more roll of the dice in the basement of English Football.

Despite their undoubted knowledge, the quintet of players are in real danger of being outshone by a trio of bright loanees hailing from the illustrious heights of Barnsley, Blackburn and Sheffield United in what could well prove to be the final time any bright young hopefuls take to the field of the historic Boundary Park. 

In a League where twinkling toes, neat turns and youthful exuberance are often replaced by crunching challenges, lumped clearances and bald-headed thuggery, the likes of Joe Garner, Liam Hogan and Dan Gardner, could well prove invaluable as we look to quickly make a return to the Football League at the first time of asking. 

With time very much ticking, I quickly set about jumping into the the inaugural season.

[DerbyJack]

 

How do you kick off a new tenure at your club? By signing two players whose combined age is comparable to a US Presidential candidate, of course.

First up, we welcomed the sage of the side-lines, Left-Back Liam Davis. With a gaping hole in our squad and a rapidly ticking clock, we swooped in to nab the 36-year-old until the end of the season. Boasting a wealth of Football League experience and a collection of vintage football boots, we hoped he could drag the club back into the limelight…

…then we saw him play and swiftly executed Plan B.

Enter stage left: Liam's younger understudy, Jake Carroll.

The Irish journeyman has been spreading his footballing charm across the UK for little over a decade, but unlike Liam, who left his heart and possibly his knees in deepest, darkest Torquay, this sprightly Thirty-Two year-old still appears to have some mileage left in the tank.

With any luck, he won’t run out of gas before we reach the final whistle.

Impatience got the better of me, so instead of monthly updates, I'll be back with the next one at the halfway stage of the season.

Edited July 26 by DerbyJack

[DerbyJack]

January 2024

Safe to say things are going surprisingly well...

With two signings in the bag, a flat 4-3-3 formation hastily put into action, and the National League put on notice, we burst into the first half of the season like a pack of retirees storming the bingo hall as we barge our way to the top of the table.

Despite being widely predicted to win the league before my arrival, even the most optimistic of Oldham fans have been pleasantly surprised by our unbeaten start to the season, with the club apparently determined to bring some much entertainment back to outer Manchester, our ambitions for a swift re-entry into the promised land of the Football League are looking more convincing by the minute.

With the squad seemingly content to score and concede at will, Boundary Park has become the place to be for fans of the beautiful game, as goals fly in at either side of the pitch.

Despite having only seven over-30s on the books, these seasoned pros have managed to make a significant impact, proving that age is just a number – albeit a slightly higher one in their case.

James Norwood, take a bow.

An absolute goal-mouth assassin at this level, the former Ipswich striker has wasted no time reacquainting himself with Non-League Football, ripping through defences like a hot knife through butter with nearly a goal per game so far.

While Norwood's seemingly blessed feet score at will at one end, the likes of Charlie Raglan and Jake Carroll are putting in monumental efforts to keep the ball out at the other.

With our formation promoting end-to-end football, the aged legs of our defensive duo have certainly been put to the test—a test they've passed with flying colours, proving that experience and a few extra stretch sessions goes a long way.

With half the season flying by like a sprightly pensioner on a mobility scooter, it remains to be seen if we can wrap things up in similar style.

[DerbyJack]

There's always time for another transfer.

We’ve signed another defender, completing our set of seasoned pros now gracing our backline.

Meet Liam Moore: a 30-year-old Jamaican, with Premier League experience, 10 international caps and a hunger for redemption.

Having made a handful of Premier League appearances with Leicester, he narrowly missed out on a winner’s medal during their miraculous title run, leaving him with the bittersweet honour of being a footnote in one of football's most historic seasons.

Despite the disappointment, Moore has more then earned his accolades as a formidable defender in England's Second-Tier at the heart of Readings defence.

Mercifully at just Thirty Years old, the solid defender has traded his role as a Championship stalwart for the gritty charm of Non-League football. With his extensive experience and a fresh chapter in his career, he’s ready to lend his veteran savvy to our squad and help us turn our promotion dreams into reality.

As the season barrels towards its conclusion, it’s time to wrap things up and see if our collection of wise old heads can pull off the fairy tale ending Oldham has been eagerly awaiting.

[DerbyJack]

April 2024

What a debut season it’s been!

We went unbeaten until the final games, losing just twice whilst scoring a monumental 138 goals in some of the most entertaining football imaginable.

Our team's performance was nothing short of a footballing renaissance. Each match a near flawless masterclass in attacking football, as our defence, fortified by key signings, stood as firm as a pensioner's grip on the TV remote. At times it seemed the only thing that could slow them down was the halftime whistle.

The blend of seasoned pros and youthful exuberance has brought the good times back to Oldham.

As we wrap up the season, we can look back with pride and a bit of amazement.

The Owls are back in the Football League.

James Norwood, just keep bowing.

The goal-mouth assassin has continued his reign of terror on Non-League defences, racking up an astounding 38 goals in 43 games.

His ability to find the back of the net with such consistency has been nothing short of sensational, leaving opposition goalkeepers with sleepless nights and possibly questioning their career choices. Norwood's clinical finishing and impeccable positioning have made him the undisputed star of our campaign.

On the defensive front, Liam Moore has been a rock-solid addition. Living up to all expectations, Moore's experience and leadership have been invaluable. Whether making crucial interceptions or commanding the backline, Moore brought much-needed stability to our defence, alongside the tireless efforts of our Left Back Jake Carroll who played his part at either end of the pitch.

While we had our share of high-scoring games, the duos presence ensured we were never completely off the rails, even if our fans experienced more thrills than they’d bargained for.

 

With the first season wrapped up, its time to start this career in earnest as we romp towards League Two

[Blarney]

Interesting twist but I guess if you're going to go old.... there's no better place the OLDham.

[DerbyJack]

Thanks Blarney, can't promise it will be interesting or remotely successful but its sure been fun so far..
________

With the Football League beckoning and a novel Transfer Policy still awaiting to be put in place, we head into the window knowing it could be one of the most important in this entire career.

With elder statesmen across the Footballing World put on notice, there was little time to waste as we moved to transform the club before they got used to their Summer Holidays.

Lets get this truly underway...

In that will be a familiar site this career, we wish farewell to Two of the clubs elder statesmen.

Joe Garner and Liam Davis are heading out, marking the end of their brief stints with us.

Despite their veteran status, they've only had a handful of appearances—though Davis might argue it’s more of a handful of minutes, considering I’d just signed him before this move...

________

With every players blessed to be under the age of Thirty open to offers, we see Four further players depart the club.

Who needs youthful exuberance when you can have a squad that remembers when VHS tapes were a thing?

With Shaun Hobson and Mark Kitching brining in a healthy amount of money to the club, we waste little time in flashing it, to lure in a host of well known names...

________

 

First up, we’ve added some serious experience to our squad with the ironically named Ashley Young. At 39. Young brings Premier League and Serie A titles from his time with the likes of Manchester United, Inter Milan, and Everton but now, he’s swapped the bright lights of Old Trafford for the cosier confines of Boundary Park. Who needs the Champions League when you can have a meat pie at halftime?

Next, we welcome Gary Gardner, a midfield maestro known for his robust play and ability to control the game. Formerly with Aston Villa and Birmingham City, Gardner adds steel to our midfield. Expect him to break up opposition play and possibly a few ankles—figuratively, of course.

 

Joining them comes centre-back, Tom Flanagan. After stints at Sunderland and Shrewsbury Town, he's now joined our ranks. Known for his solid performances at the back, Flanagan brings a wealth of experience and, apparently, an irrational fear of the camera lens. Here's hoping his defensive skills are as sharp as his deer-in-headlights expression during team photos

Next, we have Ahmed Musa, the Nigerian speedster whose career has been a rollercoaster ride. From dazzling at CSKA Moscow to a less-than-stellar spell at Leicester City, Musa's journey has been anything but dull. With 110 caps for Nigeria and goals at multiple World Cups, he's set to bring a touch of international flair to our squad. If he can rediscover his scoring touch, we'll be in for some thrilling counter-attacks.

 

Continuing the spending, we’ve secured the services of Shinji Okazaki, the Japanese forward who once leapt into Premier League history with Leicester City’s fairy-tale title win. Now, he's brought his boundless energy and knack for clutch goals to our squad. With 50 international goals for Japan and a reputation for tireless running, Shinji's set to keep both the opposition and our physio busy.

Joining him is Kyle Naughton, the versatile defender who was practically part of the furniture at Swansea City, having racked up nearly 300 appearances. Naughton’s been everywhere on the pitch – full-back, wing-back, and even midfield – showing a flexibility that’s more contortionist than footballer. Having swapped the tranquil valleys of Wales for the thrills of Oldham, he’s bound to add some seasoned savvy to our defensive line.

 

The Final additions of the window see us welcome Alex McCarthy, the experienced shot-stopper who’s graced the goals of Reading and Southampton. With a career that includes an England cap and countless spectacular saves, McCarthy brings a wealth of experience and a steady pair of hands to our last line of defence. We’re banking on his ability to pull off some miraculous saves to shore up our apparently leaky defence.

Finally, we have Jordan Rhodes, a striker whose goal-scoring prowess is legendary in the Championship. With over 200 career goals, he’s now bringing his predatory instincts to Boundary Park. Known for giving defenders nightmares, Rhodes is expected to keep up his habit of finding the net and keeping fans on the edge of their seats. If nothing else, his knack for scoring should ensure plenty of goal celebrations this season.

 

After signing eight seasoned veterans, including the ageless Ashley Young and the ever-chipper Shinji Okazaki, it’s now clear to the Oldham faithful that we’re embracing a "vintage" approach to League Two.

Our squad’s combined age might just be enough to get us a discount on the team bus, but don’t let the grey hairs fool you—we’re bringing a wealth of experience and a few extra bottles of muscle cream. Expect a season where our tactical nous will be as sharp as our players’ reading glasses.

Here’s to a year where wisdom triumphs over youthful exuberance.

[DerbyJack]

August 2024

________

Our first month in League Two has been nothing short of a rollercoaster.

We kicked off the season with a five goal barn-stormer, as a Norwood brace has us narrowly missing out on an opening-day draw by the narrowest off margins.

A quick return to winning ways in the League Cup against Cheltenham saw Musa and Okazaki find their first goals for the club but in a return to League action, we once again struggled to make a mark as a disappointing second-half saw us hand all three points to Accrington.

Continuing to keep hearts in mouths, our hunt for a point in our return to the Football League resulted in a goal-frenzy against AFC Wimbledon as both sides threw caution into the wind, with our newly formed back-line our proving that age does come with a few creaky joints, as Alex McCarthy was left to fish the ball out of his net Four times..

But just when the sceptics were starting to grumble, our experienced players orchestrate a masterclass in attacking football, reminding everyone why we bet on age and wisdom as a goal from each of our attacking trio helped to see us past Tranmere and claim some welcome points for our opening month.

Not even another dramatic game in our exit to Wigan could dampen the spirits as we continue to click into place with a convincing victory over Salford to round off the month. 

________

August 2024 - League Two

[DerbyJack]

September 2024

________

Our second month in League Two has been as lively as ever, with plenty of goals, drama, and some much-needed wins.

We started off with a heart-stopping 3-4 loss to Lincoln in the EFL Trophy opener. It was another goal-fest that had fans reaching for their blood pressure meds as our defense decided to take the night off, but at least the entertainment value was sky-high.

Next up, we secured a thrilling 4-3 victory over Grimsby away. Norwood, who seems to be scoring for fun, bagged a couple more to keep his tally ticking over. The fans might need a break from all this excitement, but our lads just keep delivering. We kept the momentum going with a 2-1 win over Wigan away, where our mix of experience and grit really shone through. Okazaki added to his goal tally, showing that age is just a number when you've got skill and determination on your side.

Back at home, we clinched a 3-1 win over Fleetwood, with Musa getting on the scoresheet yet again. Our attack is clicking like a well-oiled machine, even if our defence still creaks now and then. We rounded off the month with a 2-2 draw against Exeter somewhat slowing our rampant progress but with Norwood finding the net once more, his whopping 10 goal tally continues to hint as to why our forward line has become one of the most feared in the league.

Now sitting just inside the playoffs after 9 games, it’s clear our blend of veteran savvy and attacking prowess is starting to pay off. If we can tighten up at the back, there's no telling how far this team can go.

Here's to more goals, more drama, and hopefully a few less heart-stopping moments for the fans!

________

September 2024 - League Two

[RaySunshine]

Great to see you back @DerbyJack! It’s a great idea for a save. I’d thought of doing an ‘anti-me’ save at some point where I aim to do the opposite of my normal ‘known-for’ collection.

 

 You’ve got some great names in there too so I look forward to seeing how you get on!

[_Ben_]

A pretty ingenious idea, if I'm honest. I love the presentation of your idea and I think you're making a really strong point here that most FM players ignore the quality found within experienced pros!

[DerbyJack]

Thanks @RaySunshine! Really do appreciate it, I just needed something to keep me ticking over and this felt relatively interesting

Cheers @_Ben_, your stories have kept me entertained more then I would like to admit, thank you very much, truth be told signing old veterans at least gives me something to blame when I inevitably fail!

________

October 2024

________

Much like an arthritic hip, things are clicking into place.

Our blessed run in the league continues into a near-flawless October as our high-scoring hallmark games keep piling up points, along with a monumental 16 goals. Our creaking forward line continues to defy both retirement and their youthful opposition, showing that old dogs can indeed learn new tricks—or at least score plenty of goals.

In a month that saw us further cement our place in the promotion race, it was only fitting that some of the brightest young talents in football gave us a somewhat needed dose of reality. Our EFL Trophy dreams continue to go up in flames, courtesy of Liverpool's Under-21s. It was a classic case of the old guard vs. the future stars, and while we put up a fight, it seems we’re saving our best for the league.

Nonetheless, with the season's aims very much focused on survival, the results have been nothing short of astounding. Our team, with an average age well over thirty, seems inspired to take the league by storm. We even managed a rarely sighted clean sheet, blessing the Oldham faithful with a brief glimpse of defensive solidity before normality was soon restored.

With another thirty games still left to play, there's little time to be counting our blessings just yet but with Norwood, Okazaki, and the seemingly inspired Ahmed Musa all in some of the finest form their lengthy careers have ever seen, it's hard not to get carried away.

The Old Boys still have it.

________

October 2024 - League Two

[_Ben_]

27 minutes ago, DerbyJack said:

The Old Boys still have it.

Just be careful - the excitement that you're getting from sixty-four goals in just fifteen games won't be good for their old hearts!

But, congratulations on a really strong start. Do you reckon you can keep this form up?

[leobiazzi]

Your attack is absolutely killing it. Maybe the veterans do have something to teach the youngsters, after all.

[DerbyJack]

This is a worrying good point, Ashley Young is getting dangerously close to requiring a pace-maker just watching from the side-lines.
To be honest @_Ben_, I am usually entirely useless at this game so not exactly but it some reason seems to be working! Thanks again!

Cheers @leobiazzi, it sure seems that way, who would think a near 40 year-old Okazaki would dominate in League Two? 

________

November 2024

________

Having made a resounding entrance to the FA Cup with a convincing victory over lowly Maidstone, dreams of Premier League opposition and Wembley day-trips we were soon dashed as we were quickly reminded of the realities of life in League Two courtesy of a bruising result against Newport.

Whilst we wasted little time in licking our wounds following the humbling, the same couldn't be said for Two of our beleaguered defenders as we suffered the first injuries of the season...

With creaking limbs echoing around Boundary Park, its highly likely we will be spending more and more time doing team-talks from the physio room and with Liam Moore breaking a rib whilst body-checking a young fleet-footed Chesterfield striker and the once impervious Kyle Naughton suddenly reminded of his age as he pulled his calf by simply turning on the spot, the ideas of dragging a squad with an average age nearly double some of their opponents suddenly seems rather daunting. 

Non the less, whilst we bust out the Zimmer frames and Werthers Originals for our injured duo, we returned to action by bitterly dragging Fleetwood out of the EFL Trophy with our only victory of the competition, before resuming our rampant progress through the League with another sensational run of victories, only briefly halted in a frenetic four goal draw with Doncaster.

With our striker trio seemingly in competition with only each other for the Golden Boot, it seems the return of the Owls to the Football League has taken everyone by surprise as we coolly make our way to the top of the table whilst approach the half-way point of the season. With even a place in the Third Round of the FA Cup secured, maybe it isn't time to stop dreaming just yet.

As long as we can hold this bruised bodies together, we might just be on for something here...

________
November 2024 - League Two

[RoguPL]

A great idea of a save ! 
Congrats and good luck ! Okazaki is insane at 38  I hope he sticks around. 

What do you do with youths ? Is it just "Terminate Contract" with cold blood ? or are you planning on loaning them out to make a profit after all? 

[DerbyJack]

Thanks @RoguPL, we'll see how far it can go. I'm hoping I can drag someone into their mid 40's, maybe Okazaki is the one?

I listed everyone under 30 this season, in terms of the youth products I'm just kind of abandoning them to their fate. If profit comes out of it, then I'll certainly take it! 

________
December 2024

________

So, while our backline continues to look like a scene from a retirement home exercise class, a make-shift back four held together by a worrying combination of muscle straps and painkillers kicked off the festive period in predictable fashion as we fell to a convincing Two Goal loss courtesy of Mansfield, infront of the decidedly miffed Boundary Park faithful.

Mercifully, with the benefit of age apparently comes a never say day attitude and maybe a slight tinge of stubbornness, as we bounce straight back into the swing of things with a Three Goal demolition of Bradford City however any hopes that this would soon lead to another run of victories were temporarily shelved as our beleaguered defence were once again taken to pieces by a surprisingly ruthless Swindon.

Despite the mixed start, we soon resumed our winning ways as our attacking trio brought it upon themselves to negate our lack of defence by simply out-scoring both Doncaster and Exeter in two back to back home fixtures, before a surprisingly normal Two-Nil result over Cheltenham rounded off the month and the Year in a typically unpredictable style as we tighten our grip on the top spot with a now Four point lead.

Who needs defenders when you have a attacking trio with a combined age of 103 and an apparent bone to pick with every defence throughout League Two?

It seems our plan to collect bus passes and Golden Boots simultaneously is paying off!

________
December 2024 - League Two

[Rick87]

Good start to the season and some real heroes in that line-up, As a Villa fan I'll always have an Ashley Young shaped soft spot, not so much for Gary Gardner or his brother though. 

Keep up the good work!

[_Ben_]

2 hours ago, DerbyJack said:

Despite the mixed start, we soon resumed our winning ways as our attacking trio brought it upon themselves to negate our lack of defence by simply out-scoring both Doncaster and Exeter in two back to back home fixtures

They're all old enough to be family men now. No Xmas Eve drinks giving them a two day hangover!

[DerbyJack]

Thanks alot @Rick87, to be fair I have thus far managed to avoid any Forest icons mercifully. I just read about Craig and Gary recently. That cannot have been a comfortable time for the Gardener family in Birmingham.

The added benefits of old-aged responsibilities @_Ben_! No after match parties, just cups of cocoa and naps.

________

An unexpected promotion push has somehow fallen into our laps. 

With half of the season still remaining and the oldest team in English Football seemingly scoring at will, we head into the New Year looking to simply solidify our chances of making a remarkable charge into the heights of League One...

Before we could bring any new signings into the club, we quickly made moves to lighten some of the deadwood, managing to smuggle out a duo of players for a smattering of profit.

First out the door is backup goalkeeper Magnus Norman. While he valiantly held the fort during our National League campaign, at the tender age of 29, Magnus was deemed far too sprightly for our tastes, so we've sent the youthful, want-away stopper off to the exotic land of Yeovil, where he can ponder the meaning of life, the offside rule, and why he didn’t try harder to age faster.

Joining him on the way out is Jake Carroll. Jake had the distinct honour of being surprisingly usurped by a nearly 40-year-old Ashley Young. Despite only arriving last Summer, Carroll has now been shipped north of the border to Hamilton Academical, where he’ll see out his career in the serene surroundings of Scottish football. Perhaps he can take up a new hobby—like knitting or reminiscing about the days when he wasn’t beaten to the starting line-up by someone eligible for a senior discount.

________

 

As the January transfer window slammed shut, we unveiled not one but two shiny new signings, let’s meet our new over-the-hill heroes: Alexis Sanchez and Juan Cuadrado.

First up, Alexis Sanchez. Having dazzled at the likes of Arsenal and Manchester United in his prime, Alexis now brings his expertise, silky skills, and hopefully a suitcase full of deep heat to our forward line. Despite being well into his twilight years, the Chilean legend arrives following his release from Inter Milan still possessing some much-needed flair and maybe even the ability to claim one last piece of silverware before ending his polarizing career.

Joining him comes right-back Juan Cuadrado. Also released from the books at our apparent aged rivals Inter, we managed to convince the Colombian to move from Milan to Oldham by offering him a role with our backroom staff. Juan is apparently now in charge of developing our non-existent youth prospects... This might sound like a role tailor-made for a fresh-faced, ambitious coach, but we thought, “Why not Juan?” After all, nothing says youth development quite like a player clinging on to relevance in the depths of League Two.

In reality, our club’s strategy around youth development is somewhat... unique. By "unique," we mean we have no actual plans to develop any youth players. Our academy is more of a mythical concept than a functioning entity. So, while Juan is technically overseeing our youth setup, his main duties will likely involve reminiscing about his glory days, making sure the coffee machine works, and perhaps the occasional game of Football.

With the likes of Sanchez and Cuadrado on board, we’re not just adding players; we’re adding walking football encyclopaedias, living testimonies to the golden age of the mid-2000s.

[leobiazzi]

I'm curious to see how much you're spending on salaries each month after signing Alexis and Cuadrado, can you show us?

Also, I'm pretty sure they'll be stars in L2, perhaps even L3!

[DerbyJack]

For sure @leobiazzi,  full transparency I'm a season ahead but I have a save every January but its before the arrival of Alexis and Cuadrado but slap another 8k on top and you'll have the idea. I'm trying to keep to a wage cap of about 4k a week so far but offering staff roles sure helps to bring it down. 

Spoiler

As long as we can keep them mobile, I think they'll tear it up!
________

 

Before we resume our surprisingly promising league campaign, it seems a prudent time to showcase the current squad and our somewhat haphazard tactic.

With the entire league seemingly taken by surprise, and big names from across the world of football drawn to Oldham like pensioners to a discount aisle, it's safe to say things have been going unexpectedly well. The only trouble is, I have absolutely no idea why.

Our squad is a veritable who’s who of football’s golden oldies, a collection of players who’ve seen it all, done it all, and have the orthopaedic shoes to prove it and somehow we've found a way to get the most out of some of the most well-worn legs in the beautiful game...

My initial plan was to develop a tactic that somehow meant none of the aged legs within the team had to actually run.

Somehow, we ended up with a flat 4-3-3, relying solely on overwhelming the opposition while throwing any thoughts of defensive solidity out the window. Despite being pretty much the exact opposite of what I thought a team of hardened, experienced veterans would thrive in, it’s surprisingly fitting the team perfectly.

It’s like we accidentally stumbled upon the football equivalent of finding the fountain of youth—if that fountain also came with a side of arthritis medication. Our seasoned squad, with joints creaking like an old wooden ship, have embraced this kamikaze style of play with open arms and slightly slower legs.

Who needs a defensive strategy when you’ve got the wisdom to outfox, out-pass, and outlast your opponents?

________

One season in to the career and we've smashed our way past one of our main objectives.

With an average age of Thirty One, Oldham has already become the home to some of Football's oldest stars. 

Despite heavy legs, bruised bodies and one too many headers, our experienced squad continues to keep our momentum from their National League promotion campaign as they sail their way to the top of the table in convincing fashion.

Despite the entire team seemingly being in inspired form, its the entire strike-force that are taking the plaudits, and rightfully so. With no fewer then four of our strikers already deep into double figures for the season, the like of Musa, Rhodes and Norwood are relishing the opportunity to boost their goal-scoring records before finally hanging up their boots for good.

Maybe it’s the collective wisdom of our wise old squad, or perhaps our opponents are just be too busy marvelling at our players' ability to run for 90 minutes without needing a nap to focus on actually playing but whether it’s the magic of nostalgia or just sheer disbelief, something’s working. And as long as our squad of golden oldies keeps defying expectations, I’m happy to let the mystery remain unsolved.

After all, why question a good thing when you can sit back and enjoy the ride?

[RaySunshine]

Good luck on getting your first outfielder into their forties!

 Can’t wait to see the next generation of players coming in as they hit 30+!

[DerbyJack]

Thanks @RaySunshine, its a very strange way of playing Football Manager, I get unreasonably excited by players fading out of first-team football. 

I have high hopes that Okazaki will emulate Kazoyushi Miura and play out until his 50s.

January 2025

________

Right. No more stalling.

We barrel straight back into the action on New Year's Day with a four-goal draw against Sutton, kicking off 2025 almost exactly as we ended the last year—by giving our fans minor heart attacks.

Somehow stumbling our way into the all-important FA Cup Third Round, we were rewarded with a clash against fellow former Premier League titans, Blackburn Rovers. Despite expecting a thrashing from the Championship side, a typical Oldham game saw both sides exchanging blows with glee, sealing a well-earned replay with a thrilling six-goal draw.

Back in the league, our unbeaten run continues as we sneak past Forest Green before swinging for the fences against fellow promotion contenders Milton Keynes in another entertaining draw at Boundary Park. It’s almost like we’ve decided to make every match a spectacle, just to keep everyone’s blood pressure up.

Despite our strong form, our FA Cup dreams were finally brought to a shuddering halt at Ewood Park, as Blackburn refused to entertain us any longer, sending us spiralling out of the competition with a comfortable victory. Seemingly suffering a hangover from the Cup exit, we struggled to find our feet in the league, with the traveling Oldham faithful witnessing a goalless draw for the first time since dinosaurs roamed the earth—or at least since March last year.

Quickly putting the bore-draw to bed, we returned to winning ways with a comfortable victory over Salford on the road before claiming a late point against Grimsby to round off an unbeaten start to the year and further solidify our place at the top of the table.

If there’s one thing this team of golden oldies seemingly loves, it’s proving the doubters wrong while having a bit of fun along the way.

________ 

January 2025 - League Two

[DerbyJack]

February 2025

________ 

With League One seemingly beckoning us, we kick-start February with a resounding three-goal victory over Wigan, featuring a first goal from Alexis Sanchez that delighted the Boundary Park faithful. Seeing Sanchez score was like watching a vintage wine finally being uncorked—smooth, satisfying, and just a bit nostalgic.

Sadly, the good times were not set to last as our unbeaten streak was brought to a surprising halt by a lowly Fleetwood side struggling against relegation. Despite being set for another classic Oldham goal-fest, the home side refused to play fair, ending our exchange of goals and eventually running out deserved winners. It seems Fleetwood missed the memo about respecting their elders.

With the defeat weighing heavy on our minds, the Owls managed to rally against promotion rivals Colchester. A second-half resurgence saw us claim a potentially crucial point at the business end of the season. Buoyed by the comeback point, the veterans continued to lay down their title credentials by destroying Newport County, inspired by a Jordan Rhodes hat-trick in a five-goal demolition. 

Sadly, before we could get carried away with the victory, the final game of the month saw the Owls struggle to take flight. A determined Gillingham clawed us back time after time before eventually delivering the sucker punch with a late winner, stealing all three points. It was a classic case of "one step forward, two steps back," or in our case, "one hat-trick hero, one heartbreaker."

Despite the mixed month, we maintain our gap to the chasing pack, with only a handful of games now standing between us and back-to-back promotions. If we can keep the wheels on this geriatric bandwagon a little longer, we might just pull off the most unexpected of promotions.

________

February 2025 - League Two 

[Sahaj Oberoi]

Jordan Rhodes is truly a legend in the lower leagues of English football. The evergreen striker.

[john1]

What an interesting challenge   Good luck with this!

[DerbyJack]

He certainly is @Sahaj Oberoi, glad we've managed to tie him down for another season!

Thanks alot @john1, I appreciate it.

________

March 2025

________

The penultimate month of the season sees us make a well-timed return to our unbeaten best as we cruise through March in convincing fashion.

Continuing to make a welcome impression on the Oldham faithful, Alexis Sanchez snatches three well-taken goals in the first two games of the month, leading us comfortably past Chesterfield and Accrington Stanley. It’s as if he’s found the fountain of youth, or at least a very generous retirement package.

Sadly, not even the Chilean’s best efforts can help us find a way past play-off contenders Harrogate as we are forced to accept a solitary point and, to top it off, suffer another set of potentially season-ending injuries. It seems that as Sanchez scores, our squad is busy collecting bruises.

With both first-team options, Juan Cuadrado and the ever-reliable James Norwood, side-lined with strains and sprains, our squad faces Tranmere Rovers, seemingly just hoping to make it to the final whistle without joining them in the physio room. Despite the constant threat of injuries looming over them like the Grim Reaper at a health and safety seminar, the squad rounds off the month with an important victory over Wimbledon, sealing our spot in the play-offs.

Despite being guaranteed at least an outside shot at promotion, we head into the final month hoping not to put this aged team through the potentially heart-damaging prospect of the ever-stressful play-offs.

With eyes still firmly set on the title, it looks like our ageless wonders, might just ride off into the sunset with a trophy—and a lot of ice packs.

________

March 2025 - League Two

[DerbyJack]

April 2024

________

Simply needing to seal the deal, we head into the final month of the season in less-than-convincing fashion, as we are soundly destroyed by Mansfield on the road. It was the kind of performance that makes you wonder if our players had accidentally worn their slippers instead of their boots. But despite the loss, we head back from the East Midlands with some very welcome good news...

It's done.

In deepest darkest Oldham were the retirement party seemingly never stops, a minor Footballing miracle has occurred.

In a twist that even our most optimistic fans couldn’t have predicted, we’ve pulled off back-to-back promotions, smashing our way into League One on the first attempt. It’s like winning the lottery twice in a row—if the lottery were football... and the prize was even more football.

Still basking in our success, we couldn’t quite seal the title just yet. Instead, we played out a classic Oldham draw against Bradford City, because what’s a monumental occasion without a little extra suspense?

Keen to leave the League stamped with our very own trademark, we kept the goals flowing in a seven-goal barnstormer against Crewe, a goal-fest so wild even the net needed to join us for our post-match nap. Seemingly exhausted from their efforts, the squad limped over the finishing line in bedraggled fashion, suffering a shock two-goal loss to Swindon. Still spinning from our seasons success, it wasn’t until the final whistle that we realized the last-minute defeat had cost us the title but with legends like Okazaki, Sanchez, and Young celebrating what could be their last hurrah, there's hardly room for disappointment.

What a season!

________

April 2024 - League Two

[leobiazzi]

Incredible!! Congratulations

[Motlhen]

I love this idea and what a squad you've assembled already!!! GL

[DerbyJack]

Thanks very much @leobiazzi & @Motlhen!

________

League 2 - 2024/25

...Not a bad way to reintroduce ourselves

Wasting little time enacting their revenge upon those who so cruelly sent them spiralling from the top-flight to the depths of Non-League, we've quickly ticked off our second promotion in as many seasons with an unexpected leap straight up to League One.

Seemingly content to allow the goals to flow at either end of the pitch, the Owls once again scored the most goals in the entire country while simultaneously conceding as many as those now also spiralling out of the division. Who knew having a group of pensioners could lead to so much heart-stopping entertainment? Our defence may resemble a bingo hall on wheels, but our attack has the energy of David Attenborough on a wildlife adventure!

With the squad heading off for their well-earned holidays, we can only hope most of them return in one piece to help us survive as we step things up.

Hopefully, their holiday insurance covers everything from jet lag to hip replacements.

This doesn’t stop here...

...the saga of the senior squad continues!

We’ll certainly be hoping these three don’t enjoy their holidays too much.

It perhaps speaks volumes that our three highest-rated players all hail from our illustrious front line. Jordan Rhodes, after a bit of a wait to break into the first team, has made his presence felt with a brutal display of goal-scoring prowess that’s enough to give defenders nightmares. He’s been hammering the back of the net like a seasoned pro in a demolition derby.

Meanwhile, Shinji, Musa, and the evergreen James Norwood have been chasing him down with a level of competitiveness that could rival a game of musical chairs. Rhodes might have stolen the spotlight, but Norwood and Musa have more than earned their own accolades, regularly tormenting League Two's beleaguered defenders and keeping them up at night with thoughts of their next encounter.

As we close out our second season, we can only hope that the goals continue to flow as freely as the senior moments in our squad.

Let’s keep the scoring spree alive and hope our star strikers don’t trade their boots for comfy slippers just yet!

[DerbyJack]

It's time to make a League One club.

With the team already managing to land some former Premier League greats, a once dubious Oldham fanbase now eagerly awaits the arrival of another set of over-the-hill superstars. Because nothing says "biggest season in the club's recent history" like a squad that needs more ice packs than training cones.

Before we can bring any more players into the squad, the ever-dreaded retirees make their announcements, and this time, it truly hurts.

Hopes of seeing a forty-year-old Okazaki claim another footballing miracle are sadly snuffed out as he leaves the squad to take up a backroom role at Boundary Park. We'll miss his goals, but at least he'll be around to show the youngsters how it's done—or at least how it used to be done.

Joining him in retirement are both of our January transfer arrivals. Having seen the stark contrast between Oldham and Milan first-hand, the South American duo bow out after just half a season with the club. But having claimed one more footnote for their glittering careers, the duo certainly managed to make an impact in a short space of time. Apparently, the allure of Oldham wasn’t enough to keep them from missing the finer things in life, like Italian cuisine... and the sun.

________

Having struggled to offload several of our under-30s since I took over, we’ve now released no fewer than five players as we gear up for a massive squad overhaul. The club is ready for a fresh start with our seasoned pros, setting the stage for a new chapter.

One player who won’t be joining the ranks of our veteran squad is central defender Tom Flanagan. Despite making only a handful of appearances, the Northern Irishman has decided to wrap up his career by heading home to Glentoran. It seems he’s opting for a quieter finale, choosing to end his journey in familiar surroundings rather than with our more experienced ensemble.

________

 

First up, we welcome Marcelo, who has traded the sun-drenched streets of Rio de Janeiro for the more temperate climate of Boundary Park. At 36, Marcelo arrives from Fluminense, bringing his renowned attacking prowess and creativity to our defense. While he might miss the Rio carnival, he’ll surely appreciate the hearty meat pies and the passionate cheers from our supporters.

Next, we add some solid defensive steel with the arrival of David Luiz. At 38, Luiz comes to us from Flamengo, having previously starred with Chelsea and Paris Saint-Germain. His move from the bright lights of Rio to the more unassuming surroundings of Boundary Park might seem like a dramatic shift, but who needs the glamour of the Copa Libertadores when you can help shore up our defence on a chilly night in Oldham?

 

Next, we’re excited to bring Jay Rodriguez into our fold. At 36, Rodriguez arrives from Walsall, where he was known for his keen eye for goal and his knack for making defenders sweat. With a career that’s taken him from Burnley’s promotion heroics to a stint in the Premier League with Southampton, Liverpool and West Brom, Rodriguez knows a thing or two about climbing the football ladder. Now, he’s swapped the tranquil atmosphere of Walsall for the lively chaos of Boundary Park. If anyone can turn a routine League One match into a dramatic goal-fest, it’s Rodriguez. 

Joining him is Tommy Smith, 33, who comes to us after a solid stint at Cardiff. Smith has been a dependable figure in the Championship, known for his no-nonsense defending and his ability to organize a backline. If there’s one thing Smith’s used to, it’s having a defence that’s more tightly knit than your grandma’s knitting circle. He’s ready to bring that same defensive tenacity to our squad, proving that while the scenery might have changed, his commitment to keeping things orderly at the back hasn’t.

 

Next up, we’re adding Kiwi Ryan Thomas to our squad. At 30, Thomas arrives from Holland, where he spent his time honing his skills in a league renowned for its technical prowess. Now, he’s swapped the tulip fields and bike lanes of Amsterdam for our slightly less picturesque surroundings. If he can handle the transition from Dutch football's finesse to our charmingly unpredictable weather and the Boundary Park terraces, we’re confident he’ll adapt quickly and add some much-needed creativity to our midfield.

Joining him is Matthew Pennington, who comes from Blackpool with a reputation for solid, no-frills defending. At 30, Pennington’s main task will be to bring some much-needed stability to our backline, which has occasionally resembled a game of musical chairs with all the shifting parts. We’re hoping he can lend a steady hand and avoid tackling anything that isn’t wearing a shirt—like, say, the corner flag or a particularly persistent piece of advertising hoarding.

 

Next up, we’re thrilled to bring Jake Livermore into the fold. At 35, Livermore joins us from Watford, where his fiery midfield presence has made him known as somewhat of a loose cannon. With a career full of memorable moments—including a few too many red cards for his own good—Livermore’s energy and unpredictability could be just what we need. Here’s hoping he can bring that intensity to our squad without any of the wild side shows!

 

Joining him is Aaron Ramsey, who comes to us from Cardiff at 33. Ramsey’s flair and creativity are well-known, and while we're fully aware of the infamous “Ramsey Curse,” we’re hoping that with our squad’s seasoned veterans, the only thing we’ll be cursing is the opposition. Given our line-up of experienced players, we’re just hoping the curse doesn’t extend to any sudden retirements or geriatric mishaps. With Ramsey's knack for adding a bit of drama, let’s see if he can keep our older squad on their toes and out of trouble!

Finally, we’re delighted to bring Michail Antonio into the squad. At 35, Antonio joins us after being released by West Ham. While he was once a key figure for the Hammers, known for his bustling style and versatility, we’re signing him at a point where his Premier League days might feel like ancient history. We’re hoping he can bring some of his past flair and maybe a few of those famous goals to our increasingly “experienced” team.

 

As we close another bumper transfer window, we’ve assembled a squad that could be mistaken for a “Legends of Football” tour. With our team’s average age creeping ever higher, we’re not just signing players; we’re curating a vintage collection. Here’s to hoping that with a bit of experience and a sprinkle of chaos, our footballing antiques can still deliver a season worth remembering!

[DerbyJack]

August 2025

________

It all started so well.

Our re-introduction to League One kicked off in classic Oldham style: a goal-heavy romp with an eight-goal thriller against Notts County. Kiwi Ryan Thomas, one of our lesser-known signings, took the spotlight with a clinical brace, proving that age and injury concerns haven’t completely dulled our attacking edge.

We continued our rollercoaster ride in the League Cup, sneaking past QPR and securing a narrow win over Colchester. The Oldham faithful were buzzing with dreams of Wembley finals and Championship glory—dreams that were as fleeting as our veteran players' match fitness.

Charlton, with the endurance of a well-oiled machine, shut down our attack and secured a narrow victory. Meanwhile, our squad, composed of players who could double as their own medical staff, suffered a couple of predictable injuries. It turns out that a group of thirty-something footballers might need more than just a good physio.

Welcome back to England David.

With our lead striker and veteran defender both ruled out in one-fell swoop, attempts to quickly rejuvenate our winning streak ultimately proved to be about as successful as trying to put a Band-Aid on a broken leg, as another end to end game saw recently promoted Wimbledon claim a measure of revenge for last season by claiming a late heart breaking victory.

Whilst the goals keep coming with another League Cup victory over Altrincham, the League continues to snuff out our early optimism as we suffer another cruel defeat, this time at the hands of a promotion chasing Lincoln.

With a host of big names seemingly stranded down in League One, it seems our retirement tour is facing the harsh realities of one of the most unforgiving divisions in the beautiful game.

________

August 2025 - League One

[leobiazzi]

Good results thus far! Ashley Young is killing it

[DerbyJack]

Thanks @leobiazzi, he sure is and my first outfield player to reach the 40 year mark. What a man  - a wonderfully ironically named man.
________

September 2025

________

How do you restore team morale?

By rolling out a squad with an average age nearly double the opposition to crush the hopes and dreams of some of the brightest prospects in the North East... of course.

A six-goal demolition of Newcastle United's promising youth products kicked off our EFL Trophy campaign in style. Like a horde of bizarre footballing vampires, sucking the life out of some young hopefuls, a wave of rejuvenation flooded around the team, as we turned on the style to pick up three straight League victories in a row.

First, we went toe-to-toe with a downtrodden Millwall, managing to cling on to a narrow lead courtesy of a welcome brace from the in-form Jay Rodriguez. Following that up with six much more convincing points from both Wrexham and Carlisle, sent a wave of optimism flooding around Oldham with even Michail Antonio rolling back the years with two man-of-the-match performances.

Having wracked up the points in convincing fashion, the last thing we needed was an unwelcome cup tie against a ruthless - and apparently bitter - Championship yo-yo club.

Step forward, Norwich.

The Canaries plucked the Owls to pieces in ruthless fashion, sending us flying out of the League Cup on the back of a five-goal thrashing. The bruising defeat certainly took the wind out of our sails, and a determined Sheffield Wednesday gleefully took advantage, snatching a convincing victory on their way to finally making an escape from the clutches of League One.

Despite the demoralizing end to the month, we find ourselves perched on the fringes of the playoffs, with thoughts of a potential relegation dogfight fading away faster than our players' hairlines.
________

September 2025 - League One

[DerbyJack]

What do you do when your season gets off to a predictably mixed start, complete with injuries to key players and more goals conceded than a game of pinball?

You make a late, - and somewhat desperate -  return to the transfer market!

After a whirlwind start to the season—where our reintroduction to League One had us scoring like it was an end-of-season charity match and conceding like we were trying to give poor Alex McCarthy a heart attack —it's clear that our squad could use a bit of fine-tuning.

Injuries, as ever, have struck with the predictability of a soap opera plot twist, and with key players side-lined, it’s already time to shake things up...

Enter Danny Welbeck, fresh off his stint at Brighton and ready to add some flair to our front line.

Now, Welbeck might not be the answer to all our problems, but he’s certainly the answer to one of them as he ably replaces the injured Jordan Rhodes. Despite having never once hit double figures for goals throughout his lengthy career, Danny arrives with a wealth of experience and a knack for showing up just when you need a bit of unpredictability.

Harbouring a career that can only really be described as a bit of a mixed bag, the seemingly ever-green striker is infamous for those “almost” moments that make fans either cheer or groan. But, let’s be honest, if we can turn his knack for drama into actual goals, we'll be onto something, after all, he's still a level above League One despite his advanced years and with a touch of class still in hand, he could soon light up our somewhat dim start to the season.

So, welcome to Oldham, Danny! Here’s hoping your time with us will be less of a subplot and more of a starring role.

 

Either way, let’s make this season memorable for something other than our medical team’s busy schedule!

[_Ben_]

It's mad that, at the start of this journey, you were just adding old players but you've genuinely got some quality experience here! Welbeck is a top player, even at 34! Good luck!

[DerbyJack]

Thanks so much @_Ben_, its actually quite exciting seeing who has fallen far enough to bolster our ranks! We're like a last chance footballing saloon.
________

October 2025

________

...Perhaps we spoke too soon.

September brought a wave of unbridled optimism to Boundary Park, but it was quickly snuffed out as we stumbled through the entirety of October without tasting a single league victory in a month that suggested our team of golden oldies had already traded their football boots for slippers and decided to take up competitive knitting instead...

With a narrow loss to Barnsley kicking off proceedings, we managed to salvage the only bright spot in an otherwise dreary month by playing out an eleven-goal thriller against Chesterfield, continuing our EFL Trophy winning streak. It’s amazing what our geriatric squad can do when the stars align and their joints don’t creak too much.

But, of course, the good times didn’t last. A bruising defeat to a struggling Plymouth sent our hopes spiralling faster than our players' aging muscles, and even a two-all draw against high-flying Leyton Orient couldn't restore some much-needed pride. Adding insult to injury, we suffered yet another couple of injuries, bluntly taking the edge off our once formidable front-line.

Lasting just a single month into his stay with the club, Danny Welbeck wasted no time adding to his impressive collection of injuries, proving once again that he's a master of the treatment table. Not to be outdone, Michail Antonio eagerly joined him in the medical bay, twisting his ankle in the very same game. It's almost like our new signings have a secret competition to see who can rack up the most injuries while simultaneously perfecting the art of limping off the pitch.

With heads dropping faster than our strikers' hopes of surviving until the end of the season, Shrewsbury wasted no time twisting the knife as they solidified their playoff ambitions and sent us crashing further down the table. It’s almost impressive how quickly we’ve managed to blend into the background of League One’s obscurity.

A draw against Cambridge might have hinted at some lingering fighting spirit, but with the U's stuck at the bottom with more defeats than points, it barely masked our true standing in the league. And just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, Burton Albion waded in with a defeat that dragged us even deeper into the mire at the bottom half of the table.

This month has officially earned the title of the worst in my tenure so far—if only there were a trophy for that.

________

October 2025 - League One

[leobiazzi]

Oof, not much you can don when all your strikers get injured. I hope the team gets better when you have all or most of your pieces again.

[DerbyJack]

Here's hoping @leobiazzi, it would just be nice to field a proper full strength first-team!

________

It’s official—I’ve just experienced the worst month of my managerial career, and that’s saying something when you’ve been assembling a squad that could double as the cast of Dad's Army.

The season started with hope, maybe even a little swagger, but it quickly nosedived into a spectacular mess of missed opportunities, injuries, and a growing sense that perhaps my so-called "master plan" is just a slow-motion disaster in disguise.

In a last-ditch effort to stop the bleeding, I’ve done what any desperate manager would do: sign another veteran!

Enter 33-year-old Alberto Moreno, freshly released from Villarreal and probably wondering what he did in a past life to end up here.

That being said, with the diminutive wing-backs experience and that wand of a left foot, maybe he’ll be the one to turn this sinking ship around—or at least keep us from crashing into the iceberg quite so quickly.

Sure, Moreno might not be the youngest, fastest, or most consistent player on the planet, but in a team where "old but gold" is the mantra, he fits right in.

Who knows? Maybe he’ll bring a touch of Spanish flair to our otherwise creaky backline. Or, more realistically, he’ll be another seasoned player nursing a sore hamstring on the side-lines. Either way, let’s just hope November is kinder to us—because it can’t get much worse, right?

Save me Alberto.

[DerbyJack]

November 2025

________

"Don't call it a comeback..."

With the ranks reinforced,  we head into November determined to not add to the worrying trend experienced throughout October.

With reinforcements in place and a deep-seated desire not to repeat October’s tragicomedy, we marched into November with cautious optimism. The month began on a high, with a narrow victory over Fleetwood in the FA Cup as those ever fleeting dreams of Cup finals and trips to Wembley came rushing back...

Back in the league, reality quickly reasserted itself as a ruthless Reading side sent us packing, much to the dismay of the increasingly grumpy crowd at Boundary Park. But with only three days to regroup, a rousing team talk somehow breathed life into our aging squad, leading to a surprisingly comfortable win over the once-mighty Wigan Athletic.

Despite nearly throwing away a comfortable lead in our penalty shoot-out victory over Barrow in the last game of our thus far impressive EFL Trophy campaign, a newfound resilience appears to have made its way into some of the oldest joints in football as we claim a surprising point against perennial Premier League relegation candidates, QPR but the potentially vital point still managed to come at a mighty cost...

Having only just hobbled back onto the pitch after a brief rendezvous with the physio, Jordan Rhodes’ hamstrings decided they weren’t quite ready for the rigors of professional football. A bruising tackle quickly sent last season’s star player back to his second home: the treatment room. With games coming thick and fast, Rhodes’ loss might have seemed like a disaster—but as they say, one man’s torn hamstring is another man’s golden opportunity.

Enter Danny Welbeck.

Having recovered from his own flirtation with the physio, Welbeck hit the ground running—literally. The recent arrival wasted no time showing what his aging legs can still do, tearing through Peterborough with a resurgent hat-trick. Not content with just that, he followed it up with a brace against Oxford United, propelling the Owls into the top half of the table with all the flair of a man trying to prove he’s not ready for the glue factory just yet.

Sadly, our renewed League form couldn’t carry us through the FA Cup, as Wrexham rudely reminded us that dreams are fleeting by sending us crashing out of the competition—proving once again that not every fairy tale gets a Disney ending.

________

 

November 2025 - League One

[Dong21]

As someone who manages Oldham on FM every year (and often writes about it) and who enjoys seeing a novelty free transfer pay off, I was delighted to stumble across this thread! 
 

Keep up the good work - I will be following along.

Edited August 9 by Dong21

[_Ben_]

Asking for a friend, but, how far from the promotion spots are you? Surely, you couldn't, could you?!

[leobiazzi]

Another great post, mate!

Your writing style is very compelling. Do you have a background as a writer?

[DerbyJack]

I feel like I might be writing this specifically for you @Dong21, thanks very much. How far have you managed to take them previously?

Theres sadly quite a gap being built by the promotion contenders but we're not out of the race totally... never say never @_Ben_?

Thanks so much @leobiazzi, thats quite the compliment, no writing background just a lot of drivel to spew apparently! Thanks again!

________

 

December 2025

________

Having bounced back in November, the festive period arrived with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, putting our resolve to the test.

We started with a bang, handing Burnley’s youth products a proper schooling in the EFL Trophy, because if there’s one thing we excel at, it’s reminding the kids who’s boss. With another potential route to Wembley on the horizon, things were looking up—for a moment, anyway.

Turning our attention back to the League, we breezed past Port Vale with a first-half masterclass, mercilessly putting the visitors to the sword. But, in true Oldham fashion, the positivity was about as fleeting as our players’ hamstrings, and the good times quickly faded away...

In classic Oldham fashion, we generously let the goals flow in both directions, only to find ourselves on the losing end of a seven-goal thriller against Stockport. Apparently, we enjoyed the experience so much that we decided to do it all over again, this time with a frustrating loss to Oxford United—the very team we barely edged out just a month earlier. Because why win comfortably when you can lose dramatically?

A surprising result against League One heavyweights Sheffield Wednesday gave us a brief glimmer of hope, but Birmingham and Barnsley—those festive Grinches—swiftly ruined our Christmas by solidifying their spots at the top of the table and sending us back down the chimney.

A two-goal draw with Leyton rounded off the year in the most Oldham way possible, leaving us to enter 2026 with the realization that any dreams of a third successive promotion are well and truly dashed.

Time to start looking over our shoulders... things are about to get interesting.

________

December 2025 - League One

[DerbyJack]

After two seasons of back-to-back promotions, I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to not win every other game. But as we settle into life in League One, it’s become painfully clear that we’re now a small, elderly fish in a very big, very unforgiving pond.

With reality now sinking in faster than our aging defence, it’s fair to say that merely surviving this season would be a monumental achievement...

Of course, that didn’t stop me from trying to add a few more battle-worn veterans to our squad in the hopes of boosting our chances—or at least making sure we don’t fade into obscurity without a fight

Before casting our net among the growing pool of aged veterans still searching for a club at this halfway point in the season, there was some unfinished business to attend to.

With the squad collectively aging like a fine wine—or maybe more like a slightly sour one—Will Sutton stood as one of the last young first-team player on our books. That was until AFC Fylde came calling, eager to snap up the long-listed defender. Joining him on the way out is Kyle Naughton, a key figure in our two promotion campaigns who’s grown increasingly frustrated with his shrinking minutes. Despite being well into his thirties, Naughton believes he’s still got what it takes to be a first-team regular, and Cambridge were all too happy to roll out the welcome mat.

________

 

Having conceded the joint most goals in the League, its safe to say I knew which area required my focus.

Despite having a decidedly leaky tactic at play, this season has been somewhat of a bruising experience for our veteran defenders so in step Two former Premier League players to help quell the tide.

Fresh from QPR, Ayling brings with him a wealth of experience, a penchant for marauding runs down the right flank, and knees that have probably seen more ice packs than a figure skater. His arrival will no doubt add some much-needed depth to our defence, assuming his joints hold up through the winter.

But why stop there? We’ve also decided to bolster our backline with 33-year-old Shkodran Mustafi, who joins us from Sparta Rotterdam. Mustafi’s CV includes a World Cup win, a stint at Arsenal, and more than a few moments that made Gunners fans question their life choices. Now, he’s here to show League One strikers that he’s still got what it takes—or at least, we hope he does. If nothing else, we’ve got our very own masterclass in unpredictability.

As we continue to bring in players with enough experience to double as assistant coaches, we can only hope that the combination of Ayling’s never-say-die attitude and Mustafi’s, well, unique defensive style will help shore up our leaky defence.

Because let’s face it: if we’re going to struggle, we might as do it in style, with a few world-weary veterans leading the charge.

Edited August 10 by DerbyJack

[DerbyJack]

Before we dive back into what’s been a somewhat bruising league campaign, it feels like the right moment to take stock of our rapidly changing squad. 

Against all expectations, we've somehow become a magnet for big names in football, drawing them to Oldham like moths to a flame—if the flame was a cosy spot in front of the TV with a warm blanket.

Our squad is a living museum of football’s greatest hits, filled with players who’ve seen and done it all and probably have the creaky joints to prove it, yet still they fight on. 

Ready to chance what remains of their careers on one last roll of the dice in deepest darkest Oldham.

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Danny Welbeck, despite his tendency to spend more time in the treatment room than on the pitch, has made an instant impact whenever he graces us with his presence. It’s almost as if the less he plays, the better he gets! Meanwhile, Ahmed Musa, once the fastest man on any given pitch, has somehow managed to remain among our best players—even if these days it’s more about brains than speed. And then there’s David Luiz, who, despite being closer to retirement age than his prime, still manages to soar above the opposition during set pieces, reminding us all that some things never change.

While Danny Welbeck, David Luiz, and the ever-reliable Ahmed Musa may be stealing the spotlight as our top performers this season, there's one man who deserves a standing ovation for this most unique of careers.

Ashley Young. The man, the myth, the 40-year-old legend. As the first player in this career to hit the grand milestone of becoming a 40-year-old outfield player, the former England International has etched his name into Boundary Park folklore.

Defying the odds and the calendar, Young has not only survived but thrived, emerging as one of our most crucial players despite being the oldest outfield player in the entire country. With a 38-year-old David Luiz nipping at his heels, ready to join the golden forties club, we might just be on the brink of creating a new footballing legacy.

Forget the dreaded 30th year as the peak—our boys are just getting started!