"Hello, I'm the new Celtic Manager" (Editor's cut)

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

Completely out of the blue, Barnet make an approach to sign Phil Salt, the ex Oldham midfielder on the fringe of breaking into the first team. I tell them they'll need to cough up a lot more than their Â£8k offer, and they lose interest. Maybe it was just an attempt to destable the camp, as the third in our New Year trio of away games is at Barnet. Not surprisingly, Sam Swonnell () is nominated as their main threat by our Scout.

I decide to stick with the same principle that worked so well against Dover. Mackenzie comes in on the right, though. Barnet open the scoring, with Batty getting caught badly out of position, and we are unable to create anything for the rest of the half. In the second half I had very little choice but to change things back to our more attacking tactics. It seemed to work, but we still couldn't break the home side down. All our hard work was undone.

Conference Game 24. 8th January 2003.

Barnet 1 Stalybridge 0 McNiven 11

A win for Dover took them four points clear again.

Isthmian league club Purfleet made an offer to loan Ronnie Howells, closely followed by an offer from Southern Premier Folkestone Invicta inquiring about Alex Hutchinson. Why not. It's not like it matters anymore. After having had a week to think about it, I decide to let Chris Perkins move on as well. The fee is an amazing Â£200k, albeit over a six month payment plan.

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

An action packed January continues with the fourth game in eleven days, against Morecambe. Leo is suspended, meaning a recall for Allison, and Cameron is unsurprisingly knackered, so Harris comes in. It's time to switch our midfield pattern back as well, meaning Woods will have to relinquish his place and Peacock will return. Morecambe are struggling in 20th and only a win will do for them.

It's a quiet start to the first half. The only notes I've made by the half hour mark is to close down the man with the unlikely name of Ste Alty. An injury to Ommel means an earlier than planned entrance for Mark Peters. It's another chance for the youngster to make a name for himself. He has no involvement in the first goal, as it's Mackenzie who finishes a Heaton cross. Allison and Peters had half chances in the second half, but couldn't add to the score in what had to be one of the most boring matches in the history of the Conference. Morecambe created absolutely nothing.

Conference Game 25. 11th January 2003.

Stalybridge 1 Morecambe 0 Mackenzie 38

Still, it got us back into winning ways, and possibly it wasn't as boring as the 0-0 draw that Dover played out at Woking. Slough continued their amazing run, making it 10 unbeaten, with a comprehensive 4-0 thrashing of Chester. The news from the physio regarding Sergion Ommel is that he has a sprained ankle and will miss two weeks. News from the FA is that Lee Collins picked up his fifth yellow card in the Morecambe game and will therefore be suspended towards the end of the month.

Chris Perkins comes to me to tell me he has packed his bags and bought a one-way plane ticket to Spain. Another first teamer goes bye-bye then

Chris Perkins (Stalybridge 1/8/01 - 12/1/03) Apps 39 Goals 0 Assists 3 MoM 0 AvR 6.72

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

We at last get a full week's break, but in our first full Wednesday training session for what seems like ages, Dave Challinor falls heavily on his wrist and the physio reports that he'll be out of action for a whole week. No doubt he'll get a few jibes from his teammates about that injury. It's not that much of a problem to me, though, as it's FA Trophy weekend. All Dave has to do is sit in the stands at Stevenage with the rest of the first teamers and support the youngsters.

Obviously, since the recent loan exodus, there is a reduced pool of players to choose from. Peter Brown is in goal, and the full back pairing of young Welshman Lewis and Scot Munro should be familiar to the fans, as should Williamson at centreback. Rob Cousins gets only his third run out of the season, however. Matt Woods and Phil Salt make up the central axis of midfield, whilst Dean Harris' promotion to the first team means that Darren Watts makes his debut on the left. Clemence gets another chance on the right despite two previous poor performances. Peters partners last seasons second highest scorer Matt McNeil, making his first appearance of the season.

It was one of those games that showed you just what that elusive mixture of youth and experience can achieve. The 2-1 victory, a scoreline blackened by a late, undeserved penalty for the home team, was achieved primarily due to quality performances from the experienced Matt McNeil, determined to make me sit up and pay attention to him, and, at last, from Garry Clemence. The 17 year old winger has a lot to learn, but this man of the match winning display should at least help boost his confidence.

FA Trophy 3rd Round. 18th January 2003.

Stevenage 1 Stalybridge (Reserves) 2 Dreyer 86(pen) / McNeil 21 Clemence 36

It'll be another away trip for the lads, but it will be a shorter and theoretically easier one, as we draw Northwich away.

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

The first team have a tricky away tie at 5th place Nuneaton to worry about though. As expected, Challinor is back fit, and I have a full squad to choose from.

Despite paying close attention to tricky winger Jason Peake, he still escapes in the fourth minute, firing a shot home which took a wicked deflection off Challinor. The best chances to equalise fall to Mackenzie and Peacock, but the winger continues his dry spell, having not scored since September. The second half started with Nuneaton trying to put the game beyond reach. They flooded forward and put us under a great deal of pressure, but we withheld and started to push them back into their own half. Soon we were creating chances, but it started to look like Fraser Digby, a keeper who had conceded 6 goals in his last appearance, was going to foil our every effort. We got there in the end, with Collins feeding Cameron for the uncharacteristically quiet winger to score.

With the scores level again, Nuneaton flicked the switch marked "attack" and flooded down to our end of the park in numbers. They scored with their first attack, and our heads visibly dropped. But in stoppage time, a series of corners was concluded by Digby coming out waving at his granny for a cross ball from Heaton. Who should pop up to slot home his fifth of the season? No other than man of the moment Lee Collins! It was too late for Nuneaton to do anything about it this time.

I will have to find out why Leo keeps getting all these man of the match awards though...

Conference Game 26. 22nd January 2002.

Nuneaton Borough 2 Stalybridge 2 Challinor 4(og) Connell 85 / Cameron 81 Collins 90

The day of the C's! But wait, things weren't that bad, as Dover had lost! The only down side being that they lost to Barnet, and the new third place side can now overtake us if they win their game in hand. Slough's incredible run also came to an end, with defeat in Essex at Dag & Red.

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

Barnet's game in hand becomes less significant as, live on Sky Sports on Saturday morning, they lose at home to lowly Chester. Chance, if ever there was one, for us to capitalise, as we face rock bottom Yeovil at home. We'll face them without Collins and Cameron though, so Woods and Harris come in.

The word "eventful" would be just about sufficient to sum up this game. Sure, it was a comfortable enough win, but it was achieved in a surprising way. Allison, who had been unable to buy a goal recently, opened the scoring just after the quarter hour mark. Once on top we hustled and bustled but couldn't manage to get a second before half time. Second half, after less than five minutes, Allison struck again. It's the first time I can remember the striker netting twice in a game. Wayne celebrates by getting himself sent off for an off the ball push. With a man disadvantage, we come under a little pressure, but I'm happy to play out the rest of the game with one up front if necessary. Leo has other ideas, and wants to get on the scoresheet, so when Adam Lockwood trips him in the area and earns himself a red card, he gleefully buries the ball in the back of the net to end his own personal goal drought with his 20th of the season.

Unsurprisingly, Leo gets man of the match, his tenth of the season.

Conference Game 27. 25th January 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Yeovil 0 Allison 17,50 Fortune-West 84(pen) (Stalybridge's Wayne Allison sent off, 61, Yeovil's Adam Lockwood sent off, 83)

It must really be our day, as Dover slip to a draw at Southport and, for the first time in the club's history, Stalybridge are top of the Conference.

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English Conference - Saturday 25th January 2003

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2002/3 Table

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Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

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1st STALYBRIDGE 27 9 3 1 32 11 7 3 4 24 18 54

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2nd Dover 27 10 1 3 29 15 6 4 3 17 13 53

3rd Slough 27 6 5 2 18 9 8 3 3 24 20 50

4th Barnet 26 7 2 5 24 19 7 5 0 23 13 49

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Gricehead · October 8, 2004

Barnet's game in hand, which may yet come back and haunt us before the season is over, was postponed again in midweek, the bad weather down the road in Northwich being just too much.

Our first game as table toppers is a long trip south to Hayes, where ex Spurs, QPR and Cambridge striker Steve Slade is the one to watch, with 15 goals this season on top of 20 in the previous campaign. He's not getting Hayes anywhere single handedly though, as they currently lie 16th. They have Dundee United's Australian winger Mark Robertson on loan, but he has only featured in one game so far. Of course they also have Keith Brown, one of last season's loan heroes.

Cameron, Collins and Ommel are all back in contention for places, so Woods and Harris drop out. Ommel will have to be content with a place on the bench, at least for now. Hayes' formation is confusing to say the least. Top scorer Slade starts off on the right wing, with two other strikers up front. Their attacking outlook allows Cameron to run free from midfield and score his 10th of the season inside the first ten minutes. Peacock misses yet another sitter, but from the resulting corner, Collins drives the ball home for our second.

We continue in the same vain in the second half, with Mackenzie getting his fifth of the season. Time for the substitutes to get a run, and for Hayes to have most of the possesion, but it doesn't get them anywhere. Cameron gets a third highly deserved man of the match award.

Conference Game 28. 1st February 2003.

Hayes 0 Stalybridge 3 Cameron 7 Collins 38 Mackenzie 48

Dover beat Slough, whilst Barnet lost. It's tight between the two of us at the top, but a gap is opening below that.

Gricehead · October 8, 2004

Barnet have another go at their game in hand, and finally get to play it. They win, but they are still five points adrift. For us, it's the reserves turn to play, with them travelling down the road to Northwich in the trophy. The game very handily counts as a served suspension for Allison, a bonus considering he was never going to be playing! The side does have a little more experience than usual in it, as fringe senior players such as Munro, Crookes, Williamson, Woods and McNeil play.

We think we've gone down after 25 minutes, but the Northwich effort is ruled out by the referee. We do go behind eventually, but not until the second half when a defensive error by young Clemence leaves a shooting chance for Wolves' Jordan Hall. We are really under pressure now, and Northwich have another goal ruled out minutes later. 2-0 isn't that long coming, though. Phil Salt gets one back, but it's too little too late.

FA Trophy 4th Round. 8th February 2003.

Northwich Victoria 2 Stalybridge (Reserves) 1 Hall 47 Morrell 62 / Salt 86

Disappointing games for some of the lads, Watts in particular, may lead me to reconsider their long term value to the club. I can't be too harsh on them though, as they've been up against first team opposition right through the competition. What is a concern, however, is the strained ankle ligaments picked up by Crookes in the dying minutes of the game. He'll be out for up to a month as a result.

It's the season for postponements. Our midweek game falls foul of Margate's FA Trophy replay, whilst Dover lose out on the chance to go top due to the bad weather in Nuneaton.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

I'm doing my own scouting for the next couple of games, as Barry Smith is off to run his eye over a few players I've been looking at. First up is Scarborough. They've caused us problems in the past, especially Darryn Stamp who was the hattrick hero in our previous meeting. His strike partner Johnson is, thankfully, suspended though.

A first half double for Leo, taking him to 100 career League goals, puts us in control of the game, but we haven't had by any means all the play. Challinor has kept danger man Stamp under control, but at the expense of space for the other attackers. Fortunately, their finishing has been poor. We take our time to make the game completely safe in the second half, with Leo missing a glorious opportunity to claim another hattrick. Mackenzie makes no mistake though, and at 3-0 with only a quarter of an hour left I can relax. Leo gets his hattrick with 5 minutes to spare, and the victory looks emphatic now. There's time for one more emphatic flowing build up which should have resulted in 5-0, but didn't.

Conference Game 29. 15th February 2003.

Stalybridge 4 Scarborough 0 Fortune-West 21,42,84 Mackenzie 76

2735, our highest league crowd of the season, watched the glorious preformance. I sent the lads back out after the final whistle to thank them all, but the biggest thanks of the day goes out to an unexpected recipient. Miguel De Souza of Farnborough Town finds himself at the top of my Christmas card list with a second half hattrick that saw the downfall of Dover. Barnet win again, but that is of little consequence. We're starting to build a gap at last.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

Dover win at Northwich in midweek, to apply a little pressure again. It's in our hands now though. Our next challenge is at 15th placed Stafford Rangers. They are still a one man outfit, with John Murphy having 16 goals now. We go into the game unchanged.

We're pretty irresistable when Leo wants to play, and he has us in front with just 7 minutes on the clock. I count at least seven more scoring chances in the first half, but it takes until the last two minutes of the half for Ommel to double the lead. An early injury for Collins in the second half sees Woods getting into the action, and he makes a vital challenge almost immediately. Stafford are coming forward now, and get a goal back with twenty minutes to go. We spurn more chances before, inevitably, Murphy gets his goal. We've thrown another two points away.

Conference Game 30. 22nd February 2003.

Stafford Rangers 2 Stalybridge 2 Jones 73 Murphy 82 / Fortune-West 7 Ommel 42

I am furious. The video replay shows we had 17 shots at goal. Peacock couldn't hit the rear end of a cow with a musical instrument, and I told him so on the way off the park. Even Leo only got one on target. And of course Dover won to go back to the top.

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English Conference - Saturday 22nd February 2003

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2002/3 Table

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Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

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1st Dover 31 11 1 4 33 19 8 4 3 20 13 62

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2nd STALYBRIDGE 30 10 3 1 36 11 8 4 4 29 20 61

3rd Barnet 30 8 2 5 26 20 9 5 1 28 16 58

4th Southport 31 9 2 4 26 17 8 2 6 24 22 55

5th Nuneaton Borough 31 9 1 5 30 24 8 3 5 19 24 55

6th Slough 31 7 5 3 20 10 8 3 5 26 24 53

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Gricehead · October 9, 2004

Finishing remains something of a hit or miss affair, if you'll pardon the pun, and despite Leo, Allison and Ommel all being experienced strikers, I feel it might be worth pulling in another recognised face to see us through the final couple of months. With the transfer deadline looming I don't have much time, but one report from our scout stands out amongst the others. A few phone calls and meetings later, and I've pulled off something of a major coup, smashing the club transfer record to sign Dave McEwen from QPR. The initial fee is Â£150k, although if McEwen plays 40 league games another Â£100k is due. If we get promotion this will be worth it. Otherwise, he won't get that far.

Having given me the information necessary to sign McEwen, Barry Smith heads off to check the opposition again. He's doesn't get to Margate in time to see them play, so we're somewhat blind going into our home game with them. Surprisingly, for a midweek game, everyone is fit. McEwen will start on the bench, but Peacock is dropped and Hart gets a chance to clinch that position.

Out comes the old autograph book, as Margate bring a Premiership player with them. I've never heard of Ryan Amoo, whose paymasters are Aston Villa, but he's doing well enough. Margate have come for the draw, and pack the defence, defending so deep they've dug trenches. It takes us a full half hour to break them down, but Cameron doesn't waste his chance this time. Having created nothing at all in the first half, Margate manage to score with their first attack in the second. For a long period it looks like we're going to throw more points away, and then disaster! Batty punches away a tame cross that he should really have held, and Margate substitute Adam Webster is on hand to put the visitors 2-1 up. I have no choice but to throw caution to the wind, and it works as Mackenzie equalises, but there just isn't enough time.

Conference Game 31. 26th February 2003.

Stalybridge 2 Margate 2 Cameron 31 Mackenzie 82 / Cullen 46 Webster 78

The point is sufficient to go top, but it's only on goal difference. Once again only three points seperate the top three sides.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

In our last league meeting, Stevenage beat us is a tempestuous match, and our scout reports that Martin Williams is still their major threat. It does seem as though they will be missing "DJ" Campbell this time around though. For us, Cameron is tired but makes the bench. McEwen starts on the right.

The statistics made this look like an even game, but we murdered them. We outpassed and outshot them, and they packed the defence and tried to kick us off the park. Their keeper walked away with the man of the match award, which always speaks volumes. However, the statistics will also record a 0-0 draw and two more points dropped.

Conference Game 32. 1st March 2003.

Stalybridge 0 Stevenage 0

We may have an unbeaten run of 8 games, but just like last season we're drawing too many. Dover aren't making the same mistakes, and they go back to the top.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

We're away at 13th place Woking for our next game, and now is as good a time as any to try and poach their best player, young forward Chris Sharpling, who they have stupidly left with a Â£40k non promotion release clause. He's one for the future, at 21, but according to Barry Smith a player with great potential. I'm inclined to agree. It's one of those strange, inexplicable things that happens in football management (or at least in CM). Woking completely fail to acknowledge our bid for the entire week. I intend to take their Chief Executive to one side when we get to the Kingfield Sports Ground.

There's another tweak to the midfield formation, with McEwen moving to the middle and Mackenzie to the right, whilst Cameron returns. We must start scoring.

We do at least start by scoring. Collins puts a tap-in away. But 1-0 at half time always looks dodgy. My mood is really topped off by Sharpling escaping from no less than two markers to equalise on the hour. Again, we can't come back from that and it's now four draws in a row.

Conference Game 33. 8th March 2003.

Woking 1 Stalybridge 1 Sharpling 62 / Collins 19

Dover lost again, keeping us in the hunt. Maybe being unbeaten might pay off?

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English Conference - Saturday 8th March 2003

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2002/3 Table

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Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

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1st Dover 33 12 1 4 35 19 8 4 4 20 15 65

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2nd STALYBRIDGE 33 10 5 1 38 13 8 5 4 30 21 64

3rd Barnet 33 9 3 5 32 24 9 5 2 28 19 62

4th Southport 33 10 2 4 29 18 8 3 6 25 23 59

5th Nuneaton Borough 33 10 1 5 32 25 8 3 6 20 27 58

</pre>

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

A familiar story. If we were going to stay in the hunt, we simply had to win the next game. 3rd placed Barnet, Sam Swonnell et al, come to the Bower Fold and defeat is unthinkable and would see us drop to 3rd place. Once again, though, a big game has come at a bad time, just three days after our last match. Heaton, Cameron and Fortune-West are well under par, so some changes are necessary. Lewis for Heaton is fairly straight forward, as is Harris for Cameron, but the rest is more complicated. Mackenzie and McEwen retain their places, but Neil is in the middle and Dave up front. Peacock comes in on the right and I load the bench with attack minded players.

The big day dawns wet and cool, so there is a fair chance that tackles will fly in left right and centre. 2666 fans show up, a good attendance, but not the best. Barnet open with a lovely move, and ex Barnsley player Sinisa Saric gets on the end of a ball in the first minutes. 1-0, and not the best of starts! Of course, it's Saric's first goal for the club and he comes close to a second minutes later. It's a third S.S., Stevie Searle, who seals the second, as we look very much under the weather. Mike Lewis has had a stinker of a first half, and reports a shin injury at half time. Challinor and Mackenzie have underperformed as well, but seem to have no excuses. Munro replaces Lewis and I tell the lads to get out there and attack.

Nothing much doing in the second half for the first 15 minutes, and as Barnet sit back into a defesive formation, they still have the majority of the play. For the first time since our dodgy form at the beginning of the season I am forced into considering a change of formation. Moving to a 442 does bring some benefits, with Collins setting up Rich Peacock for only his second goal of the season. It's not enough though as time ebbs away.

Conference Game 34. 11th March 2003.

Stalybridge 1 Barnet 2 Peacock 82 / Saric 2 Searle 19

I feel cheated. Swonnell, by far Barnets best player, was the man we had all singled out as trouble, yet I had been double bluffed by my opposite number John Still. Swonnell had been played as a decoy, allowing Saric and Searle to storm forward from midfield and run the game. It was so obvious! Dover only drew, so we sit 3rd and two points off the lead.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

The local rag turn up on the doorstep on Wednesday morning, hot with the story that our form is collapsing to the extent of ruining our chances of promotion. Now, I've never told anyone that we were contenders for promotion, and the board didn't mention it at the beginning of the season either. I tell the reporter exactly that, and to my surprise the fans and the board all turn on me. "The fans will not tolerate failure." "We are surprised at your lack of optimism." "We expect the club to be shown in a more positive light in the future." All utter bÃ³llocks. It's more likely that if I don't see a change in attitude soon I'll be walking out of this club.

As we prepare for a tricky away tie at 4th place Southport, Barnet play Margate live on Sky and throw away two points with a 0-0 draw. Good news, I suppose, but I've got my mind firmly on tactics. it's to be a wide 4-4-2 at least to start with at Haig Avenue. Heaton, Leo and Cameron return to the first eleven.

Neither side could muster a goal during the entire game. Our shooting was particularly poor, only 2 of 10 on target. Batty got the man of the match award which, as I've said before, speaks volumes.

Conference Game 35. 15th March 2003.

Southport 0 Stalybridge 0

Dover lost by the odd goal in five at Stevenage. Another chance to go top missed then.

Gricehead · October 9, 2004

The run in continues with the visit of 6th place Slough Town. With the recent poor form of all the top sides, Slough must fancy themselves as having an outside shot at the championship, so it's a big match for all concerned. Dominic Crookes returns from injury and is available for selection. Seven days has given me plenty of time to analyse our failings in recent matches, so there are a few changes to make. First of all, both youngsters Cameron and Harris start, with the club's best winger on the right hand side. The strikers swap sides, and the captaincy is handed back to Heaton.

Once we see how Slough line up, Collins is given the job of marking young attacking midfielder Adam Murhpy out of the game. The 21 year old escaped the attention of my scout, but was devastating in his only other game for the conference newbies. We stutter and stumble our way through the first half hour, creating some chances but in line with recent form, taking none of them. Out of nowhere, Sergio Ommel picks the ball up, beats 5 (count them!) Slough players and buries the ball out of the keepers reach. A truly unbelievable goal! We could have been two up before half time, when Mackenzie shot from the edge of the area. The ball beat the diving keeper, only to bounce clear off the post.

If there was any doubt over our first half performance, there certainly wasn't in the second! The first significant attack of the half saw Collins and Harris combining to set Mackenzie away. The midfielder still had to beat a Slough defender before rifling the ball past the stationary keeper. Slough's heads dropped, and the tie was clearly just about won. Ommel sealed the victory with his 10th of the season, and even had time to complete his hattrick with ease before the referee put the visitors out of their misery. Ommel got the man of the match award in what was easily the strikers best performance for the club. Are you watching Mr Fortune-West?

Conference Game 36. 22nd March 2003

Stalybridge 4 Slough 0 Ommel 35,73,75 Mackenzie 52

The relief of a victory was immense. The lads were shouting and laughing and generally high as kites in the dressing room. I was equally happy for them, and determined to let them enjoy the success. Hopefully it would enable that bit of bonding to see us through the next 6 games. Even I couldn't believe the news my assistant brought in though. The fact that Dover had drawn at home against a struggling Chester side was not too much of a surprise, but I had to laugh when I saw that Barnet had thrown away a 3-1 lead to lose 4-3 at Nuneaton. And that after Sam Swonnell had scored two first half goals! Steve Burr, Nuneaton manager, found himself right at the top of my Christmas card list. The consequence of all this? Stalybridge top again!

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English Conference - Saturday 22nd March 2003

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2002/3 Table

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Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

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1st STALYBRIDGE 36 11 5 2 43 15 8 6 4 30 21 68

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2nd Dover 36 12 2 4 35 19 8 5 5 23 19 67

3rd Barnet 36 9 4 5 32 24 10 5 3 33 24 66

4th Southport 36 10 3 4 29 18 10 3 6 29 25 66

5th Dag & Red 36 10 4 5 38 20 8 3 6 19 14 61

6th Nuneaton Borough 36 11 1 6 36 29 8 3 7 21 29 61

</pre>

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

Proud, but nervous, we take the short trip to Cheshire neighbours, and FA Trophy conquerors Northwich Victoria. The game was a full week later, so no changes were required, but Northwich play a different game, preferring a 4-3-3 formation. Still, I figured that the eleven that started the last game were probably my best side so what the hell!

Amazingly, Northwich line up to play us at our own formation, so it's down to quality of players and team work here. The first 20 minutes passed without significant interest, other than a shot blasted over the bar by Harris, and a save at the other end by Batty. The rest of the half was frantic, though. Northwich, despite their lack of form, poor league position and vastly inferior individual players, started to take control of midfield. With ten minutes to go, on loan Barnsley midfielder and Greek Under 21 international Leo Bertos picked up on a loose ball after an excellent tackle from our unpronouncable left back, and put Northwich into the lead. Worse was to follow, as Challinor tackled Morrell five minutes later. The ball bounced loose towards Rob King, and at the same time it arrived, so did Hocking. The 18 year old forward went sprawling and, probably deservedly, a penalty wasn't awarded. As if that wasn't enough, referee Brass sent off the guilty defender. So we went into half time 1 man and two goals down. Not good.

Going all out for goal, we started the second half the stronger. We needed the early goal, and if we didn't get it there was always a risk that Northwich would hit us on the break. We didn't, and they did, exactly on the hour. I couldn't fault the effort, as it was the Northwich keeper who kept them in the game for that 15 minute spell. We attacked again, determined not to give up on this one, and unbelievably Northwhich scored a fourth on the break. Game, and possibly season, over?

Conference Game 37. 29th March 2003.

Northwich Victoria 4 Stalybridge 0 Bertos 36 Barnard 41(pen) King 60,75 (Stalybridge's Matt Hocking sent off, 41)

If I said, after all that, we were still first, would you believe it? Could you believe that Dover drew another game at home? Could you also believe that Barnet threw away another lead, 2-1 this time - and achieved with two more Swonnell goals, to lose 3-2 at home against the mighty Stafford Rangers? This amazing combination of events saves Matt Hocking from a certain fine, and I feel inclined to appeal instead.

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

Sergio Ommel would miss a month with a nasty groin strain. In other words, that was probably the end of his season. This wasn't good news, as it came just as I was considering dropping Fortune-West, who hadn't scored in 6 games. It's also that time of the season when the Conference team of the year is decided. Three of my players; Batty, Fortune-West and Cameron; make the starting line up, with Collins available on the bench. Quite a good show, especially as there is no room for that bÃ¡stard Swonnell.

Four games to go, and it's haway up to Blyth to play a hard tackling Spartans outfit. They came to the Bower Fold in November looking for just a point, and my scout sees no reason why they should try otherwise this time round. No reason, that is, except for the fact that they lie just one place outside the relegation zone and probably would like to avoid going straight back to the Unibond league. With this being Easter, and therefore a Monday game, there is tiredness throughout the team. The only changes I decide to make, however, are up front. Ommel and Leo out, Allison and McEwen in. Heaton is told to keep a close eye on winger Ian Clark and we're ready to go.

It's 1-0 to us in the first minute, and it's that man Mackenzie again. A good pass from Challinor splits the defence asunder. Now, can we hold on? Yes, but not for long enough. The dangerous Andy Lucas drifts effortlessly through our defence for a second time in as many minutes and it's 1-1. Harris and Cameron start to look distinctly tired as the first half ebbs away. I speak to the pair of them during the interval, and we agree that they can have ten more minutes to try and achieve something.

Ten minutes passes, nothing happens. Cameron comes off, Peters comes on and McEwen moves out to the right. I would claim this as a stroke of tactical genius, except none of the rearranged players are involved as Challinor sets up the second for Allison. There's no threat coming now from the home side, and we ease towards full time. It's just a matter of how long I dare leave it before making the rest of the substitutions. I can resist no more with 6 minutes left to play. Harris and Mackenzie depart, to a rousing ovation form the visiting fans, and Hart and Peacock come on. Hart plays out of position on the left, Peacock on the right as McEwen moves into a third position in the centre of the attacking midfield. Maybe this one is a stroke of tactical genius, as McEwen feeds Peters and the young centre forward scores for the second game in a row. Clincher!

Conference Game 39. 7th April 2003.

Blyth Spartans 1 Stalybridge 3 Lucas 30 / Mackenzie 2 Allison 59 Peters 87

Again, there's a nightmarish wait for the scores to come through.

Barnet 3 Woking 1

Dover 2 Hayes 0

Southport 0 Slough 0

</pre>

Not a lot of help there then really.

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st STALYBRIDGE 39 12 5 2 47 16 9 6 5 33 26 74

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Dover 39 13 3 4 37 19 8 6 5 26 22 72

3rd Barnet 39 10 4 6 37 28 11 5 3 37 26 72

4th Southport 39 10 4 5 29 19 11 3 6 32 26 70

</pre>

What the day's results do mean, is the end of Conference football for Northwich Victoria. I can't say I'm sad to see our county colleagues go. I just hope they haven't stopped another Cheshire side from exiting the top end of the league on the way.

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

With only three games to go, it's all to play for. I hesitate to say it, but it looks as though we have the easier run in. 12th place Farnborough (home), 9th place Boston (away) and finishing with a visit from Chester who currently lie 16th. Dover must visit relegated Yeovil, before two tough games against 5th place Nuneaton and local rivals Margate. Barnet are at Slough (7th), home to Southport and away at Stevenage (8th). Amazingly at this stage of the competition, 13 teams have some say or other as to where the league title, and that all important promotion, will end up.

My scout tells me once again that Farnborough's Ricky Baptiste is one to keep our defenders on their toes, whilst that BÃ¡stard Swonnell can't do anything wrong, as the media are singing his praises. Admittedly 16 goals and 7 assists from 24 games is a bloody good return, but John Still doesn't seem to think so and the player is unsettled by this. His release clause of Â£425k will be tempting if we do manage to get promotion!

The only change to the starting line up for Farnborough's visit sees Crookes come in for the suspended Hocking. Leo gets a place on the bench, but I don't really want to drop anyone from the last match.

It looks like Leo may not be needed, as McEwen lays the ball off to Allison for the burley striker to notch his 10th of the season. Not bad for a striker who has spent more time out of the side than in it. He shows he can create as well, as he sets up Mackenzie only to see the on form midfielder head over the bar. As so often seems to happen, we are caught on the break, and Farnborough's left back steams down field and sets Baptiste up. The striker lives up to his reputation and puts the ball away, but the goal is disallowed for offside, much to my relief.

Almost from the second half kick off, we break down field and Dave McEwen gets his goal. Not before Mackenzie's had two chances at it though, hitting the post and having his second attempt palmed away to McEwen's feet. In another penalty area scramble, sub Leo hits the post and McEwen puts the rebound against the crossbar before the static Farnborough defence can clear. Could we possibly regret all these missed chances? Possibly, as Farnborough get one back on the hour mark. We are still doing most of the attacking though, but I won't feel comfortable until we restore the two goal cushion. The goal comes within ten minutes, but from the most unlikely of sources. Heaton crosses a freekick into the area which Peacock collects. The midfielder dribbles past one man and fires a left footed shot at goal which the keeper did well to parry away. Who should follow up, but captain Steve Heaton to score his first goal in 71 appearances for the club. It's comfortable now alright, and as the referee blows his final whistle I cannot recall many games we have dominated as much as this. We notched up 19 shots, some 13 of them on target and only a star performance from the Farnborough keeper stopped this from being another Telford. Dave McEwen got the man of the match award, as the forward finally started to show the form he should be capable of.

Conference Game 40. 12th April 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Farnborough 1 Allison 11 McEwen 48 Heaton 67 / De Souza 62

Another breathless wait for final score on Radio 5, the whole squad this time crowding round the radio.

Southport 2 Stevenage 1

Yeovil 1 Dover 2

</pre>

No help there, then. Barnet would play on the Wednesday as their opponents were involved in the FA Trophy.

When Wednesday finally comes, I afford myself a little laugh as Barnet lose at Slough 1-0. Unfortunately, it's not a Sam Swonnell own goal, and he isn't the player sent off in the first half either, but you can't have everything!

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st STALYBRIDGE 40 13 5 2 50 17 9 6 5 33 26 77

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Dover 40 13 3 4 37 19 9 6 5 28 23 75

3rd Southport 40 11 4 5 31 20 11 3 6 32 26 73

4th Barnet 40 10 4 6 37 28 11 5 4 37 27 72

</pre>

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

During our comically timed mid-April break, Exeter are confirmed as the team we hope to be changing places with, or alternatively a long away trip next season! Meanwhile Boston are well and truely scouted, and David Town, their 17 goal striker, is rated as one to watch. It's somewhat satisfying to see Wigan pick up the Vans Trophy, or whatever it's called these days, what with them being responsible for our exit - being beaten by the champions sounds better than just being beaten. Steve Bushell was not involved in the final, however. The week off also gives me a chance to keep a close eye on the transfer market. Whilst it's difficult to make any big decisions at this stage, not knowing what league we'll be playing in next season, there are some opportunities that cannot be ignored. One of these such opportunities arises when Southampton decide they no longer require the services of Chris Marsden. The defensive midfielder is 34, and probably only has one season left, but when I spoke with his agent it became clear he would be happy with a reasonably inexpensive package as long as it included a coaching element. Talk about snapping his hand off!

It's make or break weekend, and realistically it's between us and Dover. Barnet have chucked it away and Southport are probably coming good too late. We travel to Boston, whilst Dover entertain Nuneaton, and ironically these four teams make up four of the top five form teams in the division. We get a confidence booster as the reserves pummel the opposition 3-0 with Salt getting a couple and Peters keeping his eye in (an explosive combination if ever I saw one! ).

The good news is there is absolutely no need to break up a winning team. So unchanged it is! Challinor is briefed to mark Town, and the full backs are told to mark up tight as well. Don't want to be giving any silly early goals away, do we?

Well, Boston know what a football game is supposed to be about, and they come out attacking, but it's us with the first chance as Harris heads over. The next chance doesn't come until the half hour mark, when McEwen wins a freekick. Mackenzie forces a good save from the keeper, but nothing comes from the resulting corner. The half draws quietly to a close, and the 2400 or so fans are looking a little disappointed at the level of action so far.

There's nothing to be worried about, I tell my team at half time. Although we haven't exactly created much, we've completely locked Boston out of scoring opportunities. Despite telling everyone involved with the club that I didn't want to know any scores from other games, the news somehow manages to filter through that Dover are losing 1-0. If that result remains the same, then a point would probably be enough here, but I can't tell the lads that, so I send them out fired up for a win.

Boston try a couple of interesting tactical shuffles in the first 15 minutes of the half, but we match them and eventually get our goal, as Cameron crosses in for Mackenzie, who extends his scoring streak. We lose Dominic Crookes with an injury 15 from the end, but it doesn't overly concern me at this stage. Woods takes his place. Leo comes on for Allison as well to make it a double switch. There's one more scary moment in the match, as Weatherstone picks up a loose ball and blasts it almost casually over the bar, before the referee blows his whistle and gives us what might turn out to be the most important three points of the season so far...

Conference Game 41. 26th April 2003.

Boston Utd 0 Stalybridge 1 Mackenzie 62

Back in the dressing room, we tune into Sports Report again...

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

Given that we won, the only result that matters is the Dover one. If they've lost, it's all over and we're champions. If they've drawn, well it's all but mathematically secure thanks to our superb goal difference. If they've won it will go down to the wire. As usual, the Radio 5 presenter takes an age waffling on about a day of Premiership action which, on the face of it, has been quite boring, before uttering the immortal words:

"But first, the full classified results, with James Alexander Gordon."

Mr Gordon's voice, familiar to all football fans across the country, strides into action.

"Barclaycard Premiership. Arsenal 3, Charlton Athletic 1"

It's infuriating how slow this guy can read some times. He seems to be taking an absolute age to get through just the Premiership, never mind the nationwide leagues!

"Chesterfield 4, Peterborough United 2"

About halfway through the second division now then, and some of the players are twitching nervously. Others have gone and hidden in the showers, unable to listen. My Assistant is busy too, keeping the dressing room door shut to stop the barrage of press from intruding. We've already worked out from today's programme what order the conference results are going to come through in...

"York City 2, Exeter City 2." This is it then, I think. "Nationwide Conference. Barnet 2, Southport 1."

Some mutters there, but everyone knows it's inconsequential.

"Blyth Spartans 1, Scarborough 1. Boston Utd 0, Stalybridge 1"

A brief cheer there, but it's faded down by the time the next result is read

"Chester City 2, Margate 0. Dagenham & Redbridge 2, Hayes 0"

You could hear a pin drop. It felt like there was no oxygen in the room, and everyone was holding their breath. Come on James! Spit it out!

"Dover Athletic 0..."

And you could tell from the inclination in his voice that it was an away win. I don't think anyone ever found out how many Nuneaton had scored. I don't think anybody cared. Players and staff alike tore up and down the dressing room, hugging one another. The Chairman fought his way threw a crowd of journalists, with a case of champagne in his arms, and soon the bubbly was flowing and the celebrations underway. Credit to Boston's manager Steve Evans, who was one of the first to come and congratulate us.

I was actually starting to believe it. Stalybridge Celtic were going to be in the football league!

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

The next week was one of utter celebrations all around. Dominic Crookes didn't let his bruised shin get in the way of a good party. If anything, he was drinking more than anyone else, safe in the knowledge that he wasn't likely to be playing the following Saturday. I didn't want to be any sort of downer on their high spirits, but we owed it to the fans to send the season off in style at home to Chester. There were major discussion to be had about the restructuring of the club as well, but they, too, could wait a while.

We may be partying hard, but I don't miss the London Evening Standard report, lavishing praise on Conference Player Sam Swonnell. That feels good to be able to say that, Conference player! I'm also informed by the club that Dundee United are showing an interest, which somewhat forces my arm into tabling a bid. Probably not a sensible thing to do when pÃssed!

The start of May brings April's manager of the month award my way, hardly surprising as we won all four games in the month! It also brings a reserve game at the Deva Stadium, which my youngsters really don't look up for. They lose 2-0 and at least two of them reportedly throw up on the pitch. Barnet return my offer for Swonnell with the words "We can't read your writing. P.S. Get yer ****ing northern mits of Swonnell."

I really hate John Still.

Bagpuss · October 10, 2004

As good as first time around

SoS · October 10, 2004

Superb promotion winning post mate. The inclination in JAG's voice was enough to know you'd got the promotion, classic stuff.

Gricehead · October 10, 2004

Thanks guys Your support is appreciated...

It's party time at the Bower Fold. In comes Leo for the last game, swapping places with McEwen. He's going to get the fans player of the season, so he might as well play the final game. Woods comes in for the injured Crookes, having narrowly won a battle with both Williamson and Cousins for the place. It's Chester who are out to spoil the occasion though, and they have much of the early pressure. Mackenzie pulls the first save from the Chester keeper after ten minutes, but even if we can't score we can still showboat, as Batty proves by coming well out of his area to clear a long ball with a superb defensive header. Finally, after what seems like an age, Cameron gets onto the end of a Collins cross and heads home to break the deadlock. Hopefully, now we can really begin to enjoy things.

Leo starts the second half with a clear chance, but heads over the bar as if to prove that he is definitely not going to score another goal this season. Cameron steps up and does the job for him five minutes later, and the young lad misses a hattrick chance a minute afterwards. It's 3-0 before the hour, though, as Mackenzie cuts loose from a rebound. The crowd are well warmed up now! It's time to bring on some of the other players who've had an impact on the season, so McEwen, Peacock and Peters all get run outs. There are no further goals for the crowd to celebrate, but things do threaten to turn a little ugly when the referee turns down consecutive penalty appeals as Gavin Watts flattens Cameron in the box twice. The young scot gets Man of the Match. Many congratulation to him.

Conference Game 42. 3rd May 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Chester 0 Cameron 42,52 Mackenzie 55

2499 happy Stalybridge fans return home, glad to be putting conference football behind them. Meanwhile, a demoralised Dover draw their final game and concede second place to Barnet. Poor Hayes are relegated on the last day as both they and Blyth achieve 1-1 draws. That table in full reads:

************************************************************************************************

English Conference - Saturday 3rd May 2003

************************************************************************************************

================================================================================================

2002/3 Table

================================================================================================

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st C STALYBRIDGE 42 14 5 2 53 17 10 6 5 34 26 83

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Barnet 42 11 4 6 39 29 12 5 4 38 27 78

3rd Dover 42 13 3 5 37 20 9 7 5 28 23 76

4th Southport 42 11 5 5 31 20 11 3 7 33 28 74

5th Nuneaton Borough 42 12 2 7 40 32 10 3 8 27 33 71

6th Dag & Red 42 11 4 6 41 23 9 5 7 22 17 69

7th Slough 42 10 7 4 25 13 8 5 8 26 30 66

8th Boston Utd 42 10 5 6 27 18 8 6 7 26 26 65

9th Telford 42 10 4 7 31 28 8 5 8 25 29 63

10th Stevenage 42 11 5 5 41 28 6 5 10 33 38 61

11th Farnborough 42 9 8 4 35 19 5 8 8 23 31 58

12th Stafford R 42 10 6 5 41 27 5 6 10 32 40 57

13th Woking 42 7 11 3 25 20 5 7 9 24 32 54

14th Margate 42 9 8 4 30 21 2 12 7 20 28 53

15th Scarborough 42 6 5 10 33 41 8 6 7 25 29 53

16th Chester 42 6 8 7 18 18 6 7 8 19 28 51

17th Halifax 42 10 3 8 39 30 3 8 10 30 43 50

18th Morecambe 42 5 9 7 26 26 5 5 11 21 37 44

19th Blyth Spartans 42 4 10 7 30 33 4 6 11 20 34 40

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20th R Hayes 42 5 6 10 23 34 5 4 12 29 40 40

21st R Northwich Vics 42 8 3 10 28 32 0 4 17 16 51 31

22nd R Yeovil 42 6 4 11 28 38 0 2 19 16 51 24

</pre>

Gricehead · October 11, 2004

It's the end of another season, so it must be time for another Stats Flash!

Stalybridge Celtic 2002/03 club stats

Club Goalscorers:

-----------------

1. 24-Leo Fortune-West (2nd in Conference)

2. 14-Andrew Cameron (27th in Conference)

3. 13-Neil Mackenzie (24th in Conference)

4. 11-Sergio Ommel (35th in Conference)

5. 10-Wayne Allison (37th in Conference)

Club Assists:

-------------

1. 13-Steve Heaton (7th in Conference)

2. 12-Lee Collins (6th in Conference)

3. 10-Andrew Cameron (20th in Conference)

4. 7-Sergio Ommel (40th in Conference)

5. 6-Leo Fortune-West

Club Average Ratings:

---------------------

1. 7.90-Leo Fortune-West (2nd in Conference)

2. 7.56-Sergio Ommel (13th in Conference)

3. 7.47-Lee Collins (18th in Conference)

4. 7.37-Andrew Cameron (37th in Conference)

5. 7.31-Neil Mackenzie (30th in Conference)

</pre>

To complete the stat attack, I made some phonecalls to check on progress of past Stalybridge players (or in some cases "players")

Goalkeeper David Fish, sold to Port Vale for Â£120k to keep the club afloat the day before I arrived, moved on, without playing, to 1st Division Derby County, where he kept the bench warm for most of a season which included an FA cup win over Manchester United and a failed playoff semifinal against the other half of Manchester. He managed two appearances. Maybe the first Stalybridge player in Europe?

Midfield "Player" Steve Wood finally realised he wasn't a footballer after his transfer to Queen of the South. He's now scouting locally for Macclesfield, and making quite a good job of it!

Next to go in 2001/02 was James Turley, who my contacts tell me is finding it hard to adapt to life in Spain. The 21 year old is missing his family and is unlikely to renew his contract at the end of next season. He isn't getting any games either. Not learning the hopeless footballer lesson quite as quickly is Andrew Scott, who has found some success. For United Counties League Northampton Spencer. Big venue!

It's a disappointment to see Steve Pickford, Matt Rose and Dean Byrne still out of work. The latter two were local lads who came through the youth system, but I can't afford to be sentimental!

Whizzing through this season's departees, young Leigh Bradley played a full season for Glenavon, which will probably do him more harm than good in the long term. Ged Murphy played regularly for Elgin City, albeit in the reserves. Perpetual moaner Kevin Parr after making the move to League football and playing twenty-odd games for Southend, has handed in a transfer request, saying he wants first team football!

As for ex Celtic lads making an impact, well Gerard Courtney has slotted into the Queen of the South side quite well, albeit not with the success he had in 01/02 with us. Steve Bushell has played a round dozen games for Wigan and may be playing 1st division football next season if his side beat Brighton in the playoffs. Finally, Chris Perkins played consistently for his new Spanish outfit until picking up a bad injury towards the end of the season. Which reminds me, they still owe me some money!

Gricehead · October 13, 2004

The summer in review.

8th May 2003

It's time to break some hearts, though. Some of the youngsters, having maybe just grasped what it might be like to celebrate becoming a league footballer, are told that their services are no longer required. Defender Ryan Cole is let go immediately, as he never signed a full contract, whilst James Roberts (1 app), Darren Atkinson (no apps) and Carl Bird (1 sub app) are all listed.

9th May 2003

Defender cum Striker Ronnie Howells returns from Purfleet after a loan spell of some 19 games, making 2 assists with an average rating of 7.47. My coaches still think he is the bees knees, and he has a lot of time on his side at 16, so his future at Stalybridge is safe.

11th May 2003

Forward Alex Hutchinson returns from Folkestone after a highly successful loan spell where he played 20 games, scoring 7, making 13 assists and claiming 3 man of the match awards with an average rating of 7.95. Again, my coaches think he is the best young thing since sliced bread.

21st May 2003

Hitchin Town want Winfield Steele. I tell them that for Â£40k, he's theirs. He's not a Conference player, never mind a third division one!

23rd May 2003

Hitchin stump up cash, Steele agrees terms, done deal.

30th May 2003

Double honours for me, with the May Manager of the month and the Manager of the Year appearing on my desk.

3rd June 2003

With the transfer restrictions lifted, Chris Marsden arrives, with James Roberts and Winfield Steele leaving.

James Roberts (Stalybridge 23/3/02 - 3/6/03) Played 1 Rating 6.00

Winfield Steele (Stalybridge 1/8/01 - 3/6/03) Played 28 Scored 1 Assists 7 Rating 6.71

18th June 2003

Kevin Aitchison's loan period ends, with the young attacking midfielder having scored 4 and made 9 assists. Good stuff. The coaching staff still think a lot of him, and are urging me to give him first team action this time around.

19th June 2003

At the awards dinner, Leo Fortune-West receives the Fans player of the year award, whilst the chairman announces that he has just received a cheque worth a cool Â£1 million from the Football League for our TV rights. I nearly fall off my chair! He adds that he expects a brave battle against relegation. I'm certainly not saying anything about that after last years mixup!

21st June 2003

Midfielder Darren Bastow, the last of the wanderers, returns having had an absolutely cracking period at Stofold. In 31 appearances, he scored 10 and made 18. he got their man of the match award 7 times as well!

Not all the Stalybridge Celtic players are happy though, as Wayne Allison announces his immediate retirement from the game. I smell a rat, as the 34 year old striker had shown no sign of discontent up until now. Someone in the Lower Leagues must have something on him! The club wish him well, as he got some vital goals to help us on our way to promotion.

Wayne Allison (Stalybridge 1/7/02 - 21/6/03) Played 33 Goals 10 Assists 1 MoM 2 AvR 7.03

What the Chairman doesn't tell me, is that he is only giving me Â£400k of his now handsome Â£1.5m bank balance as a transfer kitty. I think the money is going to his head!

25th June 2003

It's good to see the youth system is still working, as three more students graduate. Of course, they graduate on third division wages now, which is more than most of the first team get!

29th June 2003

The big news at the Bower Fold is the appointment of John Aldridge as my right hand man. With the other coaches unwilling to take on the extra responsibility of the Assistant Manager post, I had to look for alternatives. What a coup this particular alternative was!

Gricehead · October 13, 2004

1st July 2003

A whole Â£5k of my transfer kitty is shelled out for Yeovil's versatile fullback Andreas Elgert. He would appear to be a player of surprising ability for that amount! Another Â£3k is spent on our Northwich Victoria's young keeper Paul Hulse. A couple of players will find themselves leaving through the revolving doors I suspect.

12th July 2003

Woking attempt a smash and grab raid when I'm not looking. Midfielder Phil Salt is their target and Â£9k is their offer. No is my reply, as my coaching staff insist he is a high quality playmaker. At 24, this is probably his last season to prove it.

13th July 2003

With us now being a league club, the board decide it might be a good idea to have more than one scout. Finding someone who can tell a football player from a lamppost is still proving difficult, but one CV that is at least legible enough to read is sent in by Sean Rogers. The 48 year old has no previous experience, but I give him a quick aptitude test by taking him out onto the training field. He manages to identify 4 out of the 5 drunks I pulled out of the pub to run around with the lads. Good enough.

James Batty gets some good news as well. He comes running to me to tell me that he has received callup papers from the FA of New Zealand. Having missed friendlies in November, December, January and March I guess he thought his career was over. He will miss at least part of preseason. Unfortunately, that means his place might have gone by the time he comes back! New Zealand have another friendly in September, which I must remember about!

14th July 2003

Preseason training brings about it's first injury. Lee Collins falls on his shoulder and will be out for up to three weeks. With Marsden raring to go, there's another player who might find it difficult to get a start! Unlucky, for one of the best players last season.

18th July 2003

Northern Counties East League side Thackley are interested in the services of Darren Bastow for the season. I bet they are, if they've heard how he ran the midfield for similarly sized Stotfold. However, it is my opinion that Darren needs some experience at a higher level than that this year, so it's a polite no.

Preseason gets underway with a trip to conference newcomers Halesowen, the cup specialists of recent seasons. We won't underestimate a side which has beaten two league sides and taken Birmingham to a replay in the past two years! However, it's important at this early stage to make sure players aren't overworked.

The starting eleven (4-1-3-2) is: Hulse; Jaszcun, Hocking, Challinor, Elgert; Marsden; Harris, Mackenzie, Cameron; Fortune-West, McEwen.

Second half run outs for: Woods, Munro, Williamson, Bastow, Aitchison, Ommel, Peters, Willoughby

We win 2-1, with goals from Aitchison and Bastow in the second half. The two youngsters are easily the best players on the pitch, and show the perceived first teamers the way to play. Aitchison, especially, has a blinder, but I have doubts about his stamina as by the end of his 45 minutes he's struggling to remain upright. Ommel, too, shows signs of fighting for his place.

A few players didn't really do much to aid their selection, but it's early days as far as preseason goes.

20th July 2003

Farnborough are interested in Phil Salt as well. They're willing to pay Â£10k. Wow. No thanks. The other Halesowen side, Midland Alliance Halesowen Harriers, want Bastow for the year. I publicly say "No way" to perhaps deter this sort of offer.

Barnsley's Neil Cox, one of my early preseason transfer targets, is subject to an offer of Â£250k. He's not worth it, so I scratch another possible off my list. This is in addition to the fact that perennial bÃ¡stard Sam Swonnell has had the cheek to reject a Â£400k move to Stalybridge as he is happy with his role at Barnet. I'm not really that surprised, as he's single handedly bankrupting them!

Gricehead · October 13, 2004

It's time for a bit of gloating at the Bower Fold. I've sent three invitations out to Southport, Dover and Barnet for a competition called the SC LC Cup. I didn't mention to each of them who the other participants were, so it should be a surprise to them when they turn up and find out they're playing in the "Stalybridge Celtic, League Club! Cup", a new competition which this year at least features 2nd, 3rd and 4th place finishers in the Conference.

The first match is between Dover and Barnet. I hand out a few fivers and bags of rotten fruit to the few Stalybridge fans who turn up. They're obviously bored and don't have anything else to do, so I ask them to liven things up by pelting Swonnell.

It's a 2-1 win for Barnet. Swonnell plays the whole game, but with little impact and will hopefully be knackered when he plays us!

Southport, therefore, are our first opposition, and their dangerman looks to be on loan Danny Invincibile, nowadays a Derby player.

Our starting eleven shows just one change from the Halesowen game, with Ommel coming in for McEwen. The bench has a few newcomers, with Munro, Williamson, Bastow, Peacock. McEwen, Peters and Hutchinson getting runs.

We lose 3-2. More worringly Mackenzie and Hocking get injured. Leo and McEwen score, whilst Marsden fails to keep Invincibile quiet and he scores and sets one up. Jaszczun impresses, as does Hutchinson. Many players do not. The result isn't that disappointing as nothing is at stake, but the performance is.

Hocking's thigh strain costs him a week, and therefore the rest of the competition. Mackenzie strains his ankle and will miss the rest of preseason.

21st July 2003

Farnborough come back with a Â£20k bid for Salt. Still no, but lets publish his asking price at Â£40k and see what that does.

Barnet vs Southport, and the fruit throwers are at both ends, targetting Swonnell and Invincibile. 1-0 to Southport, and whilst it doesn't do much for the competition as a spectacle, I'm happy with the result. Swonnell, curse him, was crÃ¡p again!

There isn't much to hate about Dover. They've signed John Eyre, who I had considered signing but decided against it, but that's about it. The problem we have is fielding a fit eleven. Those who start are Batty; Elgert, Jaszczun, Howells, Lewis; Woods; Watts, Aitchison, Clemence; Ommel, Fortune-West. Subs who get a game: Hart, McNeil, Cousins.

A 1-1 draw just demonstrates that we have a long way to go yet. Leo scored with his only chance, which is good I suppose, but the makeshift defence couldn't keep Tommy Tyne out. Watts and Elgert were the best players from our perspective.

22nd July 2003

Halesowen Harriers don't give up asking for Bastow. No, FFS!

Dover vs Southport ends with a 3-1 victory for the team from Kent. Players from all sides are getting tired now.

Mental note to self. Never, ever, under any circumstances, organise a four team league competition over 3 days again. With no fit players at all, it's a mix and match team that faces Barnet. The only thing to cheer about is a scything challenge by Jaszczun on Swonnell which results in the bÃ¡stard whimpering from the field in the second half. Unfortunately we are already 3-0 down at that point, and two further Barnet strikes make it 5. Jaszczun then gets a second yellow, and it's John Still who has the last laugh.

So, we handily finish bottom of our own competition. The price you pay for trying to show off, I suppose.

************************************************************************************************

SC LC Cup - Tuesday 22nd July 2003

************************************************************************************************

================================================================================================

2003/4 Table

================================================================================================

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st Barnet 3 0 0 1 0 1 2 0 0 7 1 6

2nd Southport 3 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 5 5 6

3rd Dover 3 1 0 1 4 3 0 1 0 1 1 4

4th STALYBRIDGE 3 0 1 2 3 9 0 0 0 0 0 1

</pre>

25th July 2003

Dominic Crookes joins our lengthening injury list, and will be out for three weeks. The defender does not feature in out long term plans, as his whinging attitude is a disrupting influence.

I'm invited to the Football League headquarters for the League Cup draw. It's the first time Stalybridge have been entered into the competition in their history. We are rewarded with a home tie against Hartlepool, and given our record against third division sides, I have to be hopeful of progress.

27th July 2003

Congratulations from the whole club to Jason Batty, who became the first player to pick up an internation cap under my management. For some reason, he only played 24 minutes as New Zealand beat Guinea 2-1.

28th July 2003

Bridport are the latest club to request Bastow's services. No, nein, non!

SoS · October 13, 2004

Poor old Sammy Swonnell! He was superb for me in CM4 I must say, him and Danielsson in midfield for my Orient side...Huckerby on the right, Rankin on the left....

Anyway, great stuff, KUTGW. I didn't read this first time round so its like a new story for me.

displaced_seagull · October 14, 2004

Oh yes, another helping of one of the best stories in a long time

Looking forward to discovering the 'new' bits

bjorn · October 14, 2004

Didn't read the first story I think

but this is certainly quality stuff

Gricehead · October 14, 2004

The historic Stalybridge Celtic Football League Division 3 2003/2004 Squad

Goalkeepers:

1. Jason Batty Age 32. New Zealand (39 Caps). 84 appearances

Our number one goalkeeper, who came across from New Zealand but failed to get starts for either Scunthorpe or Grimsby, found his place at the Bower Fold. Spent the majority of the last two seasons as the only first team keeper at the club. Still officially on the transfer list due to "wanting to move to a bigger club", but I doubt any bigger club would want him. May find his position in jeopardy this season.

13. Paul Hulse Age 21. English.

Signed from Cheshire rivals Northwich, having made only one appearance for them in two years. The long term future for the club and should challenge Batty for the first eleven spot.

34. Peter Brown Age 18. English. 7 appearances

Youth system product. Enthusiastic about his future at the club, and currently the subject of mixed views from my coaching staff. Has that in his favour at least. Probably the last season he has to prove himself though.

---

Defenders:

2. Andreas Elgert Age 27. German.

Signed cheaply from Yeovil after underperforming in his only season of English football. Fortunately, speaks good English. Can play on either flank, but will start on the right in preference.

3. Tommy Jaszczun Age 25. English. 23 appearances.

First choice left back with a good first season behind him. Has seen his career revived since the move from Blackpool, where he really didn't fit in. Still sees Stalybridge as a stepping stone in his career, and is therefore probably misguided.

4. Dave Challinor Age 27. English. 24 appearances, 1 goal.

Solid centre back who really shored up our defence since his arrival from Tranmere. Now part of the central backbone of the team, and likely to remain so for a long time. Has all the qualities of a second division defender, so will be hoping he can help us get there.

5. Matt Hocking Age 25. English. 44 appearances.

Another player whose career has been resurrected since arriving at Stalybridge. Hocking played only 10 matches in the 01/02 season for York, but was a virtual everpresent last season for us. Came on a free transfer, and therefore if he does decide to move on there won't be any financial loss. Not as talented as Challinor, but can tackle hard and is a good worker. Hopefully, his partnership with "Big Dave" Challinor will pay off again this season like it did at the death last year.

15. Matt Williamson Age 23. English. 33 appearances, 1 goal.

Matt was forced into regular first team action in 01/02, which was probably a little too early for him. Developed well last season, and is probably approaching the point at which he will start challenging for a first team place. Skills-wise, there is little to choose between him and Hocking, although the latter has experience on his side. Expect a battle of the two Matt's to develop for the first team position.

16. Steve Heaton Age 24. English. 73 appearances, 1 goal.

Right back who, to be quite honest, doesn't possess an awful lot of skill. However, he played regularly in 01/02 when there wasn't any better option, and retained his place last season when he developed an amazing knack of delivering undefendable corners. Loses his place at least to start with in an effort to build defensive stability.

29. Ronnie Howells Age 17. English. 1 appearance + Loan spell at Purfleet

Product of the youth system who can also play as a makeshift striker. Loved by the coaches, but probably needs another loan spell before being considered for first team action.

30. Mike Lewis Age 21. Welsh. 10 appearances.

Free transfer in 01/02. Also well liked by my coaching staff, but never seems to perform when called upon. Probably another one riding into the last chance saloon.

31. Rob Cousins Age 32. English. 4 appearances.

OK, hands up on this one, it didn't really work. Signed in a looting raid on relegated Forest Green at the end of 01/02 season. Looks good on paper as a solid, strong, pacey, hard tackling centre back. Isn't when playing on the football pitch. Has no league experience, so probably has no chance of playing. Fortunately, doesn't place a large burden on the wage bill, otherwise he would be out of the door pdq.

32. Tony Horner Age 19. English.

A product of the youth system who we all expected to be leaving for Gravesend at the end of the last season. They wimped out at the 11th hour, and we were left with a right back who has potential. Says he is proud to be at Stalybridge, although he didn't really show that during contract negotiations in the summer.

35. Kenny Munro Age 25. Scottish. 28 appearances.

Bosman signing from East Fife who looked good enough when we needed backup in the conference. Wasn't. Therefore, probably wouldn't be in the third division either. Another one saved by a low wage.

Also:

Dominic Crookes, Age 28. English. 62 appearances, 4 goals.

Currently transfer listed due to first whinging about wanting a new contract and then demanding much higher than the club can afford, then turning up late for training and causing dissention amongst the ranks, and if that wasn't enough, publicly complaining when I warned him.

Geoff Collins, Age 18 & Scott Griffin, Age 16. Two of this years youth products. Awaiting assessment.

Midfielders

6. Lee Collins Age 29. Scottish. 40 appearances, 7 goals.

Candidate for player of the season, after being released from a season of hell by Blackpool. Has made the defensive midfield position his own, and continues to work hard at improving his game. May come under a little pressure from Marsden this season.

7. Andrew Cameron Age 21. Scottish. 63 appearances, 18 goals.

Absolute revelation who forced himself upon first team selection despite my initial decision to bed him in slowly. Some of his running on the ball is of the highest quality, and last season he started to show some of the finishing I know he is capable of. There is still a lingering doubt over his stamina, but this should continue to improve with age. A good first two years, though, although I would like to have him on a contract without a minimum release clause.

8. Neil Mackenzie Age 27. English. 29 appearances, 13 goals.

Another candidate for player of the season. Has a wealth of league experience, and after a slow start on the right side of midfield, found his niche in the centre. Scored critical goals at a time when the strikers were out of form. Could be a critical player, as part of the central axis of the team.

11. Dean Harris Age 19. English. 23 appearances, 1 goal.

Free signing who broke through into the first team earlier than expected. A left sided, left footed midfielder and therefore a rarity. Can he prove himself at a higher level? Another player who sees Stalybridge as but a stepping stone to further his career.

12. Chris Marsden Age 34. English.

Player/coach Marsden may be getting on a bit, but he still has the skill to play at the third division level. Has bags of experience too, and will be pushing Collins all the way for the one available position. Installed as the new club captain.

18. Matt Woods Age 26. English. 67 appearances, 5 goals.

Matt continues to be a victim of circumstance. He's a good squad player, in both defensive midfield and central defence. However, there are better players at the club in both positions, so Matt will have to bide his time. He is probably the only player at the club hoping for a severe case of injuryitis.

19. Richard Peacock Age 30. English. 74 appearances, 5 goals.

Attack minded right midfielder with an amazing lack of goalscoring ability. Created loads in the first season, but seemed to have been overawed by Cameron. Hence loses his starting position for at least the forseeable future. Also hovering somewhere near the exit door, only his league experience keeps him in the first team.

20. Phillip Salt Age 24. English. 13 appearances, 3 goals.

My coaches reckon that Salt is a promising playmaker. Several conference sides seem to think he's worth cold hard cash, although the babble seems to have died down a bit since I put the asking price up to Â£40k. At 24, he is happy to commit his future to the club, but he must be getting itchy feet by now, especially as one of the last part-time players at the club.

21. Darren Bastow Age 21. English. 8 appearances + loan spell at Stotfold

Youth Product Darren is the flavour of the month. Several lower league clubs are scrapping for his loan signing after his success last year. It's time for Darren to move up, though, and hopefully a Conference side will want to give him a try sooner or later. Otherwise, it's a long hard season in the reserves for Darren.

22. Gary Clemence Age 18. English. 4 appearances, 1 goal.

Youth product who looks to have the promise of Harris, but probably needs a loan spell to bring it out. No offers as yet.

23. Kevin Aitchison Age 21. Scottish. Loan spell at Cheltenham Saracens.

Another youth product who really does have promise. Understudy to Neil Mackenzie, although will be offered a loan spell to get experience. Needs another interested conference (or next level down) side.

28. Darren Watts Age 17. English. 2 appearances.

Still going with the youth products! Darren causes all sorts of arguments amongst my coaching staff, as they cannot decide whether he has a future or not. Has another season, and will be allowed to go on loan if necessary.

33. Tommy MacDonald Age 18. English.

Guess what? Another youth product. I don't know yet whether Tommy has twigged, but I don't have a use for a left or right sided defensive midfielder. Therefore, I may eventually have to alter his training if he makes a decision to stay at the club long term. He is progressing well so far in the youth team, and will be offered the opportunity to go on loan should anyone be interested.

Also:

Listed youth products: Carl Bird, age 17, English & Darren Atkinson, age 17, English.

New youth product for assessment: Gary Scarlett, age 17, English.

Attackers

9. Leo Fortune-West Age 32. English. 61 appearances, 41 goals.

It cannot be doubted that Leo scored the goals that got us promotion. However, it can also be noted that he goes through distinct periods of form. It is difficult to pick fault with someone who scores 2 goals every 3 games, but there were times I jumped up and down on the touchline screaming at him to just get a shot on bloody target.

10. Dave McEwen Age 25. English. 8 appearances, 1 goal.

Record signing, who I must remember has a 40 league game payment clause. Took a good 5 games to settle down, but seemed to manage it at the very tail end of the season. Needs a good start to this season, otherwise he will find himself dropped to save some money.

14. Sergio Ommel Age 25. Dutch. 36 appearances, 11 goals.

Bosman signing Sergio may not have scored as many goals as big Leo, but he was another major contributor. With Allison's retirement, he is the third choice up front so should get a fair amount of game time.

17. Gary Hart Age 26. English. 32 appearances, 4 goals.

Gary can best be described as mildly disappointing. I had big hopes for him when I persuaded him to come work with us from Brighton. He has put some good performances in, but seems incapable of putting a string of them together. Will continue to sit on the sidelines and play when required.

24. Mark Peters Age 20. English. 24 appearances, 5 goals.

The ex Southampton trainee has had two full seasons at the Bower Fold, and has impressed my coaches. He's also got the odd goal in his mostly substitute appearances. Still has time on his side, but needs to work hard in training.

25. Alex Hutchinson Age 19. English. 1 appearance + loan spell at Folkestone.

Impressed at Folkestone, impresses my coaching staff. This Youth product could go a long way. Only time will tell.

26. John Willoughby Age 18. Scottish. 4 appearances.

Free signing in my first season. Struggles to make any headway when on the field of play with the first team. Still impresses the coaches. Stays for now.

27. Matthew McNeil Age 31. English. 45 appearnace, 17 goals.

A good goalscoring ratio for Matt, but he is quite a long way down the pecking order. I would give him a transfer, but he appears very keen to stay at the club, probably because it's the only club he has ever known.

Also:

Transfer Listed youth product: Anton Walsh, 17, English.

Gricehead · October 14, 2004

So, here we are again. For the third season in a row, facing Accrington at the Bower Fold the Saturday before the season starts. With Collins and Mackenzie out, it's not quite a first choice eleven who start, but it's pretty damned close. Batty in goal, Elgert, Jaszczun, Hocking and Challinor in defence, Marsden, Harris, Bastow and Cameron in midfield, and Leo and McEwen up front. Off we go again!

Fortunately things were a damned sight more comfortable this year. Andrew Cameron put us well on the way with two superb solo goals in the first half. From there on it was plain sailing, as Elgert added a third in the second half.

Friendly. 2nd August 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Accrington 0 Cameron 29,36 Elgert 61

One more friendly before the season proper begins, and it's away at Halifax. The paying punters certainly got their moneysworth in the first 15 minutes, with 5 goals going in - 4-1 in our favour. Bastow struck an excellent volley to open the scoring before that man Steve Kerrigan equalised. Cameron scored his third trademark goal immediately from the restart. Harris scored at the third attempt after crossbar and goalkeeper had got in the way of vicious strikes, and Bastow scored his second from the simplest of tap-ins. It couldn't carry on at such a ferocious pace, and it didn't. One more goal for the shaymen before half time and nothing in the second half at all.

Marsden was removed as a precaution at half time as he was complaining of a foot injury. The amount of pressure Halifax had in the second half was somewhat worrying, as was a continued lack of form from Leo.

Friendly. 5th August 2003.

Halifax 2 Stalybridge 4 Kerrigan 7 Stoneman 36 / Bastow 6,15 Cameron 8 Harris 12

Bagpuss · October 14, 2004

I've forgotten how many seasons this goes on for

Just out of interest have you ever had 9 players in the same national team before?? I've got 9 of my carlisle mob playing for england and in the last game 8 of them started do you think i could just play my lot instead of england

Gricehead · October 14, 2004

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by John O'Shea:

I've forgotten how many seasons this goes on for <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That would be telling. Quite a few though

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Just out of interest have you ever had 9 players in the same national team before?? I've got 9 of my carlisle mob playing for england and in the last game 8 of them started do you think i could just play my lot instead of england <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, my players never seem to be good enough to get picked. Unless they're Nigerian

Gricehead · October 14, 2004

Four days of nervous pacing, four days of wondering whether we're good enough. Four days of writing and rewriting team sheets, crossing off names, jotting down moves and formations. Four days of wondering whether Collins and Mackenzie would be fit. All this in the lead up to our first Football League fixture, at home to Southend. Eventually I decide that there's nothing I can do about whether we're good enough, and that there's no point changing things around too much. Only Ommel comes in for McEwen to distinguish this side from the one that played at Halifax. Collins is fit but sits on the bench, and our midfield trio of Harris (19), Bastow (21) and Cameron (21) must be one of the youngest in the division.

4883 equally nervous, but celebrating fans are in the Fold, eagerly anticipating kick off. The Scout report highlights a winger with an unpronouncable name to watch, however he lines up in the middle of the park. It'll be a bit difficult for him to whip crosses in from there! The referee finally blows his whistle and we're underway. Things quickly settle down, and Cameron picks up the ball in midfield. He runs and runs. Is this going to be a trademark goal? But no, he passes to Fortune-West, who nods down to Ommel. The Dutch striker passes sideways to Bastow who makes space and shoots. GOAL! Darren Bastow, only in the side because Mackenzie is still injured, picks now to score his first Stalybridge goal in competetive football, and the club's first in the Football League! This really raises spirits, and we're all over the visitors. Cameron does get his goal from a Bastow flick and we can go in comfortably up 2-0 at half time.

Marsden shows that he still knows where the goal is in the second half and we can relax, because the job is done. Batty has to work a little to maintain his clean sheet bonus, and Ommel nabs one in the last couple of minutes to seal his Man of the Match award and make it a rout!

Division 3 Game 1. 9th August 2003.

Stalybridge 4 Southend 0 Bastow 6 Cameron 23 Marsden 58 Ommel 90

What a performance! We're all left absolutely dumbfounded by the result. I don't think anyone expected that! Batty was super solid in goal, Harris, Cameron and Bastow linked up as if they'd been playing together for years, and the two strikers got all their shots on target. Unbelievable.

Gricehead · October 17, 2004

On one of those occasions when we could have done with a midweek game, we have none. Darren Bastow plays and scores for the reserves in midweek, which is partly my fault as I meant to tell Aldridge not to play him. The extra match at this stage should do him good, and he's fit enough to travel to Cheltenham. In the mean time, Dominic Crookes has decided that he'd like to stay at the club now. But, wait, he's still unhappy about his contract. Fine, I say, and whip him back on the list.

An away match in this division would seem to be a more difficult prospect. Mountainous in fact, when Cheltenham go 2-0 up in the first 20 minutes. We're looking like we've never met each other before. A touch of complacency perhaps? Cameron got us one back, thanks to Ommel again, just before half time, but a number of players were either having stinkers or just underperforming.

Unfortunately, I only have three substitutes, and Marsden is complaining of a thigh problem. Under normal circumstances I'm sure there would be loads of old man jibes, but the lads are quiet. They know when they're in my bad books. On come Collins and McEwen, for Leo who is in danger of being dropped again. We peg them back in their half for most of the rest of the game, but we just can't find an equaliser. So this is what a league defeat feels like.

Division 3 Game 2. 16th August 2003.

Cheltenham 2 Stalybridge 1 Lewis 7 Roberts 21 / Cameron 43

Gricehead · October 17, 2004

Just to prove that it is still working, my Youth system throws out another player. At least they are only coming one at a time now.

The coach report for Hartlepool tells me that their best striker Gordon Watson is injured. OK, that's good, but who should we be watching out for? Bloody useless scouts.

It's a cup game, and whilst I would like to make a good impression in our first League Cup outing, we have two league games in three days next weekend. Therefore there are changes galore. The back four and Ommel remain from the last match, but in come Hulse, Collins, Watts, Mackenzie, Hart and McNeil. A big gamble, as most of the players haven't played together and some will be majorly lacking match fitness. A lot of eyes will be on young Darren Watts on the left side of midfield.

Just to prove that old faces can come back to haunt you, lining up for Hartlepool is Keith Brown, signed for as little as Â£26k from Hayes after just one and a half seasons there.

It's not a first half performance to be proud of, as the players spend a lot of time introducing themselves to each other, and by the time they get back to the dressing room, on first name terms, we're 2-0 down. I tell them that's not what I expect, and it's not what the 3590 fans expect either. They shrug and head back out onto the pitch. Nothing changes, really, until I introduce Hutchinson and McEwen and at last things seem to tick. We get a goal back and pressure should have led to an equaliser, but Steve Banks was equal to most things we threw at him. Of course we were caught on the break for a third, which unbalanced the scoreline a little.

League Cup 1st Round. 19th August 2003.

Stalybridge 1 Hartlepool 3 Hart 82 / Henderson 6 Platt 27 Housham 87

Hartlepool forward Clive Platt, now on three goals in as many games, might be worth a look, although they probably won't sell him due to having only just signed him from Rochdale. A bruised thigh will keep Elgert out for a week, whilst we are rid of the influence of Dominic Crookes, as he takes a move to non-league football with Burscough for Â£26k (rising to Â£35k with appearances)

Dominic Crookes (Stalybridge 1/8/01 - 20/8/03) Played 82 Scored 4 Assists 3 MoM 2 AvR 7.02

Gricehead · October 18, 2004

It looks as though Sam Swonnell may never become a Stalybridge player, as West Ham, who are struggling in the First Division, offer Barnet the Â£425k release clause. On a lesser scale, it looks as though 24 year old Northern Irish playmaker Sean Friars will be coming to the Bower Fold instead. But not until we've played Bury, who have Indian international striker Bhutia for us to watch out for. It's all change again, as I carry on the struggle to try and work out the best available starting eleven. Munro comes in at right back, whilst Leo comes back and the young trio in midfield are recalled en masse. Attack would seem to be the best form of defence, at home at least.

Leo is fired up big time. He heads home a ball centred by Ommel in a good move resulting from a restart by the Bury keeper, and adds a second in stoppage time from a corner delivered by Harris. So we go into the break 2-0 up without really having been in control of the game. We do take control of the second half, restricting Bury to just one shot on target, and whilst we don't add any goals at the other end, we do play well. Well enough for three points, which is all that matters, and well enough to be able to rest a few players in the second half.

Division 3 Game 3. 23rd August 2003.

Stalybridge 2 Bury 0 Fortune-West 19,45

Gricehead · October 18, 2004

There is just time for Friars to join up with us before we head across to York for the Bank Holiday Monday game. We've beaten them before, of course, in the cup, and Matt Hocking is still able to give us a certain amount of inside knowledge. We need all the information we can get, as the scout report again concentrates on a player who won't be playing!

Barnet's John Still reports back to us that Southampton, Bolton, Wimbledon and Portsmouth have all made offers for Swonnell, and asks whether I would like to bid Â£425 plus Salt. I don't think the board will, or should, fall for it, but it's worth a try. I just can't help myself sometimes.

In on the right side of defence comes Mike Lewis. Friars is on the bench due to a lack of match fitness. We comfortably kept out York's opening attacks and were starting to build and press them back when, out of nowhere, Batty brought down Aidan O'Kane in the box. Penalty! 1-0 down without really doing anything wrong. By the time the lads trooped into the dressing room for their half time break heads were really down. We had done nothing wrong, but we were heading towards a second successive away defeat.

Time for some changes, and time for some experience. Off come Harris and Bastow, and on come Mackenzie and Friars. Tactical genius! We were level five minutes into the second half, as Ommel put away a Jaszczun cross. Much fluster and fuss as the home defence and keeper battled to keep us out. There was only one side going to win it from here! Or maybe no-one would win it? The clock ticked down until finally, with two minutes to go, Sean Friars popped up to cap an impressive debut with the winning goal. 2-1 to the Stalybridge! A solid defensive performance earned our Left back, you know his name, the Man of the Match award.

Division 3 Game 4. 25th August 2003.

York City 1 Stalybridge 2 Ireland 24(pen) / Ommel 50 Friars 88

Mmm. 4th place after 4 games. Not bad, and maybe this division isn't as difficult as it looks. Friar's first appearance, on the left rather than in the middle where I originally intended him to play, leaves me with a dilemma as to whether I need to strengthen that side of the midfield any more. Negotiations are well under way to sign Alan Moore from Burnley, but if he's not needed then there isn't any point. Some time required to think about this.

Gricehead · October 18, 2004

In the mean time, we have another league match against Scunthorpe to prepare for. Friars is still not ready for a full game, so the team remains unchanged. News from the scout on Scunthorpe is that they have a strong central defensive unit. Right. That's why they've conceded eleven goals, the most in the league, so far. They now have Mark Rankine in their side, a previous target of mine. He played a total of 21 games for Forest before moving on.

Graves pops up to head a corner home before we've even got our defence organised, but not to worry, as Harris realises he's playing for his place now and goes straight up the other end to equalise. We're on top now, and stay that way for the rest of the half, with Harris having a blinder and setting up Leo to head home not long before the break. Mackenzie tells me he's got a niggle in his knee, and there's no need to risk one of our best players, so Friars will get to play a full half in his preferred position.

Sean Friars has scored his second for the club within two minutes of the restart, from a perfect Left Back cross. So far, only Cameron is struggling to get into the game, and he's not exactly playing badly! Scunthorpe think they have pulled one back on 67 minutes, but the referee rules it out for a reason only he knows. They're coming into the game, though, and with a quarter hour to go they do score, and they're getting to almost every ball first. With just a minute to go it looks like we've survived, but Neil Somerville runs half the length of the pitch and hits a shot which bobbles wildly and beats flailing keeper Batty. 3-3, and there's nothing we can do about it. The referee signals an end to our farcical defending, and we get what we deserve for easing off.

Division 3 Game 5. 30th August 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Scunthorpe 3 Harris 6 Fortune-West 41 Friars 47 / Graves 5 Somerville 76,90

Top marks to Harris and Friars, although Friars faded slightly as would be expected from someone with a distinct lack of match fitness. The result does no harm to our fledgling league position, and although I'm disappointed in the way we threw the game away, I have to tell myself to keep my feet on the ground. This is the football league, and we're a Semi-Professional club trying to take them all on. This isn't a bad start!

Gricehead · October 22, 2004

With Swonnell having informed us in no uncertain terms that he wouldn't touch Stalybridge with someone else's bargepole, Barnet decide that they want Phil Salt anyway. They're not going about it the right way though, as they offer a vast nothing upfront, and just 10% sell on. Given that they're about to make muchos money from the Swonnell deal, I think they can afford a bit more. Â£40k please.

Matt Williamson picks a very bad time to get himself injured in training. Having shipped three soft goals in the last match I was giving close scrutiny to the performance of our centre backs, and Hocking hasn't really being producing the goods recently. At least Elgert should be back in time for our next game.

Barnet decide that cold hard cash is not to be parted with for Phil Salt, but Shrewsbury are interested in Mark Peters and offer the princely sum of Â£20k. I'm not going to be selling anyone to a rival Division 3 club for that pitiful amount! At the same time, we've seen the last of Swonnell round these parts as he signs up with Premiership Wimbledon, where the 20 year old agrees a Â£7,750 p/w deal.

Shrewsbury are quick to say thanks but no thanks to any negotiation over Peters.

Sean Friars is handed his first start for the trip to local rivals Oldham, whilst Elgert returns at right back. Matt Woods is handed a place on the bench as the defensive subsitute, despite him being unhappy at a prolonged spell in ther reserves. I may be forced to let him move on in the near future. Oldham are doing well after a dodgy start, and lie just two places behind us in the league. Their goals are coming mainly from Allan Smart, who is the only player mentioned by name in the scout report. I get the general impression, though, that my scout thinks they are good. Very good.

A carefully constructed game plan is in danger of being thrown out of the window in the first few minutes, and it's backs to the wall defending as Oldham throw everything at us. So much for preferring a defensive formation! Allan Smart has the ball in the net on 25 minutes, only for it to be disallowed for offside. There's no such refereeing decision to save us ten minutes later, and the ex Watford striker celebrates in style.

Another Smart solo goal in the early minutes of the second half gives us a mountain to climb, and we never really get past base camp. A reshuffle brings Marsden, Hart and McEwen on for Mackenzie, Ommel and a very disappointing Cameron, and we start to press forward. The Oldham goalie, Mark Tyler is having a good game though, in common with the rest of his teammates, and we cannot make the breakthrough. At the other end, Batty thinks the pressure is off and takes a quick nap, allowing Matt Tipton to steal through for a third to make the defeat comprehensive.

Division 3 Game 6. 6th September 2003.

Oldham 3 Stalybridge 0 Smart 33,55 Tipton 85

Again I am forced to give myself a reality check. Oldham were only relegated from Division 2 the previous season, and have retained a largely second division squad. They are one of the favourites to go back up. Losing away to them isn't really all that bad.

Gricehead · October 22, 2004

I'm beginning to wish that John Still would just damn well drop dead. It's as though he's got my number on quick dial, and yes, he wants to talk about Phil Salt again. He's back to offering Â£8k again, so he obviously didn't listen last time. To give the lad a chance of some first team football I lower my asking price to Â£35k, hoping to stimulate some interest from Torquay who have been scouting around a bit as well. Out of the revolving door go the latest two recruits from the youth system, who my coaches tell me will never make it at this level. We wish them good luck, but advise them not to try to make a career out of football. Aldo drops them off at the Job Centre.

True enough, Torquay smell a bargain, but they can't raise the full Â£35k capital. I try to entice them with the offer of having the player up front and paying later. I know I said I didn't want a player going to a third division rival, but if it stops him going to Barnet then I'll make an exception!

Darren Watts is the first Stalybridge player to go out on loan this year. Southern Premier outfit Fisher Athletic take him, and pay half his wages. Â£75 per week is quite a fee for such a small club.

Determined to get back to winning ways, it's back to the Bower Fold for a midweek game against struggling Brentford. Leo is too tired to play, so McEwen comes in to the attack. I also toy with the idea of dropping Cameron to the bench, but on reflection his recent performances haven't been that bad, so he'll get another chance. The visitor's strike partnership of Rory Allen and Lloyd Owusu already have 6 goals between them, and our shaky defence might just let them get more. We'll just have to make sure we get something at the other end!

We look decidedly nervous in the first half. Not surprising really, as 5175 people have turned up. There really must be nothing to do on a Wednesday evening in Stalybridge! We're indebted to Jason Batty for saving well on a couple of occasions, whilst up at the other end Dave McEwen is getting some good headers in. Unfortunately it appears he is taking target practise a little too seriously, as all his chances are directed straight at the keeper. Cameron is disappointing again, but does pick up his game right on the stroke of half time, with a superb trademark run and shot. The Brentford keeper is just equal to it, though, and it remains goalless.

We are undone in the second by a couple of high quality Brentford moves, which illustrates precisely why they should be higher up the league than they currently are, or more precisely were. Even with the changes that perked things up on Saturday, we have no answer, and consequently there is little hope of the floating fans returning next home game.

Division 3 Game 7. 10th September 2003.

Stalybridge 0 Brentford 2 Owusu 58 Hunt 77

The result costs us our unbeaten home record, and drops us to 9th place.

Gricehead · October 22, 2004

There will be changes for the next game. Exactly what changes they are will depend upon the fitness of individual players, but I give some clues to interested parties by withdrawing Bastow and Harris from the reserve squad. Fisher are back for another one of my young hopefuls, and Ronnie Howells packs his bags for the big smoke. The Southern League club must be really flush, as they offer to pay Â£80 per week. Torquay finally get back to us to say thanks but no thanks on the Salt transfer.

A confused Howells turns up on the clubs doorstep the following morning, with his bags still in hand. A few terse phone calls later and I discover that someone at Fisher made something of an administrative c*ck up, as they already have two players on loan.

In my attempts to tighten up the defence, I make another bargain signing. Another former Brighton player, 27 year old central defender Danny Cullip, joins from Rotherham for a paltry Â£65k. He joins us just in time to make the trip to Swindon, although he is lacking fitness.

The Wiltshire side lie in a lowly 23rd place, so if we want to end our current sticky patch with an away win, now would be a good time to do it. A few changes, as promised, are made. Fit again Williamson comes in for a badly out of form Hocking, with Bastow and Harris coming in for Mackenzie and Friars. Friars can consider himself unlucky to be dropped, but he's a useful player to be able to bring off the bench, and Cameron is in "One last chance" territory. Leo returns for McEwen.

The changes work well really early on. Bastow combines with Cameron, and when the young winger gets the ball back he powers a bullet header at goal. The keeper struggles to palm the ball away, but Leo is on hand and he doesn't miss tap-ins. Cameron is clearly buoyed by the effort, and strikes a wonder goal 3 minutes later for 2-0. The Swindon attacking pair of Forinton and Burke have been unable to buy themselves a goal all season so far, and they spurn a few chances in the first half of this game too. Give Batty credit, as he also makes some decent saves, including a double stop from Forinton.

Swindon come out attacking again in the second half, but after spurning even more chances their heads seem to drop. We push forwards again, trying to kill the game completely, but now we too seem to have the jitters in the box. As time ticks by, I bring on Cullip and Friars and we ease back, allowing Swindon more of the possession. They still can't convert any chances, with their shooting being even more woeful than ours has been at the worst of times.

Division 3 Game 8. 13th September 2003.

Swindon Town 0 Stalybridge 2 Fortune-West 9 Cameron 12

No outright man of the match performance for us, but a notable match for Matt Williamson on his return to the side. What with Cullip's signing, there might actually be some competition for defensive places!

Gricehead · October 22, 2004

Fisher's loss is Weymouth's gain, as they offer a loan contract to Ronnie Howells. They seem to have their administration in order, and Howells packs his bags yet again.

Aldo reminds me that a number of players, including Woods, Williamson, Bastow, Ommel, Willoughby and Peters, have contracts which expire at the end of the season. So it's time for a period of negotiation, which almost inevitably ends with Woods being placed on the transfer list. I'm determined to get a reasonable wad of cash for him, as he's a decent player, so I publish his asking price at Â£100k. Let the bidding commence!

Dutch goalscorer Ommel is the first to put pen to paper on a new 2 year deal, whilst Barnet are still after Salt. What the hell, if they can give me Â£30k we can talk. Better still, if they'll give me 24 year old midfielder Frazer Toms they can have a done deal. We'll expect their response after the weekend, but in the mean time, Stranraer tell me they're more than happy to pay Â£210k for Woods, a figure which was the first one I could think of when they rang and offered the Â£100k asking price. Bonus!

Blackpool are the next visitors to the Fold. I wade through the mountain of paperwork on my desk to try and find the scout report. Casting aside contracts, player reports, coach reports and god knows what else, I finally find the usual faxed report from Sean Rogers. Blackpool are another side with a dangerous strike pairing. We've met Brett Ormerod before, but not Graham Fenton. Does this mean Niall Quinn has hung up his boots? We go into the match unchanged, except for the presence of Mackenzie on the bench. You've got to allow him the chance to meet his old team.

Football can be such a frustrating game sometimes. We have Blackpool contained all first half. Sure, we haven't created much, but there isn't any danger because they don't have a single shot on target. The second half starts with the referee turning down a blatant penalty for us. Frustration shows on the players faces, and Challinor commits a silly foul to give Blackpool an innocuous looking free kick. Up steps Graham Fenton, and bang. 1-0. How did that happen? The stroke of luck really fires up Blackpool, and we don't stand a chance for the rest of the game.

Division 3 Game 9. 20th September 2003

Stalybridge 0 Blackpool 1 Fenton 55

A result I'm not convinced we could do anything about sends us down to 10th. John Willoughby refuses our first contract offer. More worryingly Tommy Jaszczun wants to move to a better club. I can't deny him the chance of building his career, so he goes on the transfer list. Of course, he's not going to go cheaply!

Gricehead · October 22, 2004

North West Counties League Ramsbottom United make a loan offer for Kevin Aitchison. Sorry, not good enough, whilst Matt Woods agrees terms for his move to Stranraer and we are Â£210k richer. I've waffled at great length to all and sundry about how unlucky Matt has been in his time at the club, but despite his consistent performances when called upon, I simply cannot offer him prolonged first team football. Therefore he departs with our best wishes.

Matt Woods (Stalybridge 1/8/01 - 22/9/03) played 68 scored 5 assisted 6 AvR 6.85

Completing dealings for the day, Phil Salt and Frazer Toms swap clubs. I think I've got marginally the better deal there.

Phillip Salt (Stalybridge 1/8/01 - 22/9/03) played 13 scored 3 assisted 1 AvR 6.62

Darren Bastow rejects two further contract offers, and I'm losing patience with him. I'll have to put it to one side for a while and calm down before I do something I might regret, cheeky bÃ¡stard!

A long trip to Bournemouth. Mackenzie starts after a good reserve performance, whilst Friars and Cullip are also called into the first eleven. Scouting would suggest that Bournemouth have a strong defence, but then scouting often leaves out more than it tells you. Their strike force of Hayter and Kandol certainly aren't world beaters, but it's one of those teams that look solid from 1 to 11, or in this case 33.

Our attacking play pays dividends, as a back in form Harris scores in the first few minutes to settle our away nerves. Leo is starting to fire as well, and it doesn't take him long to get his 5th of the season. Time to hold solid until half time, and apart from a last minute corner it's easy. 2-0 up away from home at half time is good enough for me, but can we hold it this time?

Bournemouth's keeper Ian Gray keeps the score respectable in the second half, but there was never really any risk of them getting back into it. A good job well done!

Division 3 Game 10. 27th September 2003.

Bournemouth 0 Stalybridge 2 Harris 3 Fortune-West 27

After 10 games, this is looking to be a very open division.

************************************************************************************************

English Third Division - Saturday 27th September 2003

************************************************************************************************

================================================================================================

2003/4 Table

================================================================================================

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st Oldham 10 4 1 0 9 2 4 0 1 8 4 25

2nd Swansea 10 4 1 0 9 2 3 1 1 12 8 23

3rd Shrewsbury 10 4 0 1 11 4 2 1 2 7 8 19

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4th Torquay 10 4 0 1 11 6 2 1 2 9 10 19

5th Brentford 10 3 0 2 11 8 3 0 2 9 6 18

6th Cambridge Utd 10 3 2 0 14 10 2 1 2 5 6 18

7th STALYBRIDGE 10 2 1 2 9 6 3 0 2 7 6 16

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8th Plymouth 10 2 0 3 6 6 3 1 1 10 7 16

9th Peterborough 10 1 3 1 7 7 3 0 2 9 7 15

10th Blackpool 10 2 1 2 6 5 2 2 1 5 4 15

11th Cheltenham 10 2 1 2 8 8 2 2 1 8 7 15

12th Mansfield 10 3 0 2 9 6 2 0 3 7 11 15

13th Lincoln 10 2 1 2 8 7 2 1 2 5 4 14

14th Bury 10 3 0 2 8 9 1 2 2 6 8 14

15th Rochdale 10 2 2 1 9 8 1 2 2 5 8 13

16th York 10 4 0 1 7 3 0 1 4 2 11 13

17th Bristol Rovers 10 1 3 1 6 6 2 1 2 5 11 13

18th Bournemouth 10 3 0 2 9 6 1 0 4 3 8 12

19th Doncaster 10 2 2 1 7 5 0 2 3 5 9 10

20th Leyton Orient 10 1 1 3 5 7 2 0 3 5 7 10

21st Southend 10 2 2 1 8 7 0 1 4 1 8 9

22nd Scunthorpe 10 1 0 4 7 10 1 1 3 13 16 7

23rd Hartlepool 10 0 1 4 2 9 0 3 2 7 9 4

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

24th Swindon 10 0 1 4 4 9 1 0 4 3 7 4

</pre>

We end the month with a little contract negotiation, and Mark Peters agrees to an improved contract which will see him being a Stalybridge player until 2006.

Monday's training session is marred by a freak collision between Gary Hart and Danny Cullip. The freakish nature of the incident is emphasised by the injuries suffered. Hart is out for two weeks with a stubbed toe, whilst Cullip misses 10 days with facial injuries.

Gricehead · October 24, 2004

We face 20th place Leyton Orient at the Fold to kick off October. Williamson comes into the side for Cullip, but the rest of the side remain unchanged after the Bournemouth result. The latest in a confusing selection of scout reports names 33 year old Stefan Vennberg as a potent wing threat. His performances this season are hardly world beating, on a par with the rest of their squad. Jaszczun should be able to keep him quiet anyway. This is a game we should win, but it's also a real potential banana skin.

Vennberg waits for 25 minutes before breaking free for the first time down the right. His cross is met by Fletcher's head and we're 1-0 down, simple as that. At least they have the decency to wait until the second half to score a second, when we are undone from a corner. With Cameron on now, and Friars playing in the middle, we look as though we might eventually get into the game. Friars adapts quickly to his new position, and sprays a ball out to Harris on the left. Harris' cross is deadly, and Leo has to do little more than connect to get us a goal back. Quarter of an hour later, Friars is at it again, as he sets up Ommel. The way we're playing, you'd think there could be only one winner. But no, Orient have one of those big red buttons marked "attack", and they press it again as soon as the scores are level. Right back Jason Rogers delivers the killer cross this time, for their dutch captain to head them back in front. Still, never give up is my attitude, and my players adopt it as well. It's not until deep into injury time that Friars collects the ball in the centre circle and runs right through the Orient defence before shooting into the top corner. Bonza! Orient try the big red button again, but it's too late.

Division 3 Game 11. 4th October 2003.

Stalybridge 3 Leyton Orient 3 Fortune-West 53 Ommel 69 Friars 90 / Fletcher 27 McLean 48 van der Luer 73

The point, in front of 4588 fans, is enough to keep us 7th, with Friars getting the man of the match.

Gricehead · October 24, 2004

Keen to bolster our defensive reserves a little more, I offer Wycombe Â£80k for Liam Burns. The 24 year old is equally at home at right back or on the right side of the central pairing. To my surprise, he accepts an Â£1800 p/w pay cut to come to the Bower Fold!

Cullip is back in the side for the trip down to Bristol Rovers. They lie 19th, and are heading in the wrong direction,

The referee took centre stage at The Memorial Stadium. Rovers were on top early on, and no doubt deserved their first goal. The controversy started just after the quarter hour mark, when keeper Kelvin Davis fouled Harris in the box. Leo made no mistake and the scores were level. The home side were understandably demoralised, and with their heads well and truly down, Cameron and Ommel added two more goals before half time.

Rovers' manager obviously gave them a rousing team talk, as they came out more positively in the second period. Within ten minutes they had got one back, and they wasted no time pushing for the equaliser. Enter referee Van Eeckhoudt again, giving us another penalty for a foul on Ommel. Leo stepped up for a second time, and our two goal cushion was restored. A bad decision on my part may have brought extra pressure on us for the remainder of the match, as I thought we were comfortable. McEwen came on for Friars and all of a sudden Rovers were ripping our midfield to shreds at will. Fortunately they only got one back as we hung on for dear life.

Division 3 Game 12. 11th October 2003.

Bristol Rovers 3 Stalybridge 4 Weekes 11 Birch 55,72 / Fortune-West 17(pen),68(pen) Cameron 37 Ommel 42

Still 7th, but with 13 goals in our last two games, our matches sure are exciting at the moment! Liam Burns had a reasonable 40 minutes at right back.

Gricehead · October 24, 2004

Burns will get a start in a midweek game against Plymouth, but that's the only change as Cameron and Harris, usually doubtful for two games in a week, both pass fitness tests. Only one place separates us from the men in green, and it's an important place. They are after getting back into the playoff spots after a run of 5 without a win, and have one of the better strikers in the division in Ian Stonebridge. Fortunately for us, Stonebridge wants out of Plymouth and his eagerness to move on is affecting his performances - only two goals so far this season.

We take an early lead as Cameron picks up a loose ball in the area and makes no mistake for his 5th of the season. Meanwhile, at the other end Stonebridge wastes at least three decent chances. We cause more problems for Plymouth keeper Collet before the half is up, the stats showing that we've had 6 shots on target and the majority of the possession. Still, 1-0 is never a comfortable lead.

But that's OK, because Leo scores five minutes into the second period. It's his 50th goal for Stalybridge. What an important player he has been! The goal stuns Plymouth, and they look out of the game. I organise some substitutions, to save tired legs, but with two of our back four lacking match fitness it's not a surprise that Plymouth hit us with a quick break. Fortunately they only do it once, and we still look more like scoring.

Division 3 Game 13. 14th October 2003.

Stalybridge 2 Plymouth 1 Cameron 11 Fortune-West 52 / Evans 80

The win sees us move up to 5th, and it's pleasing to see us capable of winning two games in four days at this level.

Gricehead · October 24, 2004

Young Dean Harris comes into my office to say he feels utterly exhausted. The lad has been performing excellently, well above what I expected of him, and I tell him this. Really, there is no way he should even be near the first team, but he has held down that place on merit. A rest won't hurt him, and will give an opportunity to Frazer Toms.

Meanwhile, Liam Burn's arrival spells the end of Kenny Munro's Stalybridge career. The Scotsman elects to move to Midland Alliance Cradley Town when they offer Â£8k. He really must be desperate for football!

Kenny Munro (Stalybridge 27/6/02 - 17/10/03) Played 29 AvR 6.38

Toms will replace Harris as the only change for our trip to 4th placed Cambridge, but even the youngster is that eager to play that he declares himself fit enough for the bench. How nice it is to see people enjoying their job!

As my Scout had warned us, Cambridge are a strong side. Once both sides had settled, it was them who had the majority of the first half play. Prolific Swedish striker Demba Traore opened the scoring as their attacking players overran our defenders, who still aren't really performing as a unit. We were lucky to keep the score down at 1-0 until half time, as Toms' debut ended early with an injury. We needed to regroup, and a rousing half time team talk was required. It seemed to do the trick, as Ommel and Leo combined for Leo's 10th of the season and 50th Stalybridge League goal. You pays your money, you picks your landmark! It's the lift we need, and ten minutes from the end Leo wins it for us from another Ommel cross. The front pair are really combining well at the moment, and Leo takes home another Man of the Match award. That's his 20th bottle of champagne as a Stalybridge player. What does he do with it all?

Division 3 Game 14. 18th October 2003.

Cambridge United 1 Stalybridge 2 Traore 33 / Fortune-West 54,81

We take Cambridge's 4th place, whilst Toms' brief first team career is over for the time being, as damaged ankle ligaments rule him out for a month.

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"Hello, I'm the new Celtic Manager" (Editor's cut)

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