El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 12th Janaury 2047 will be remembered as the day football changed.The year now was 2083 and we where interviewing the former Milan,Real Madrid,Chelsea,Lille and Celtic manager,in his beatiful carear he won many trophies:European Cup(won 11 times),Fa Cup(won once) English Preamier League(won 7 times) and many more.At the time Fabrice Ranche was only 40 and he was on his second job with Celtic.That day he would be playing old rivals Rangers.Stepping off the team bus thinking of only his tittle ambitions,he knew he would need a win today as he was 5 points off Dundee Utd(times had changed) and Rangers where 4th with 2 games in hand.The teams went into their dressing rooms to give their team talks.This game was soo important to many fans. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 The half was end to end stuff and Celtic where lucky to gain a 1-0 lead on the 32nd minute through Callum Fletcher.But Rangers equalised on the 39th through Liam Brown.The half time team talks where mad shouting could be heard all the way around Glasgow.The 2nd half was equal as well but Rangers seemed to have the edge and the went ahead on the 67th minute they went ahead through their tall defender Jonathan King.It seemed over untill on the 87th minute when Celtic scored.Much to the Rangers annoice Kevin Rooneys goal was miles offside.Then on the 93rd minute it got worse as Celtic got a penalty when it was clearly a dive.Greg Miller Smashed home the penalty and Celtic had won the match.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 The Celtic fans went wild had paraded the pitch.Mr Ranche ran around the pitch mentally,The Rangers fans were livid they had beent robbed many went on to the pitch and a fight broke out on the pitch between The Two sets of fans,Even the players where fighting.A group of fans punched the referee and he was thrown to the floor all of the rangers fans wanted to kill him and one loyal fan did just that and kicked him in the head.Then a Rangers fan was seen throwing something and then he scattered away Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 suddenly a big fire burst out and all the people where thrown back,now most people ran back which blocked off most the exits.The Celtic manager was unconceos and didnt see his star player being beaten up and eventually killed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 Fabrice Ranche woke up in his hospital bed and turned on the TV.'this is Sky news and we are here where the crisis was taken out it is now clear that 4 Celtic players have died and 8 dreadfully injured also manager Fabrice Ranche has got saver facial burns and will proberly not be able to walk for a while' He looked in the mirror only to see his whole face covered in red blisterly burns..........B******s Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperk1 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Interesting start - though could I recommend that you try writing everything in Microsoft Word and spellchecking it before you post? This all looks like it's been hastily rushed, to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakamack Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I like the action good start Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 thx deu to heavy critism from viperk1 i will not continue this story intill friday Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Its not heavy criticism, El007. Im with viper, it looks very rushed. The idea seems great, it just needs writing up better. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 oh ok thx for your comments will get working now.Soz Viper Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 The next Celtic game was against relegation strugglers Falfirk.Obviosly I was in no state to manage the team so I settled for watching it on Sky.With a lot of star Players dead or injured the Team Sheet was made up of unknown players.Our lack of expieriance showed as we where 2-0 down after 30 minutes.My stomach was hurting more then my burns it was then the half time whistle went,God I hoped Youth Coach Timmy O'Farrell had some kind tactical genius plan up his sleeve.The answer was he didnt,The end result was a flattering(on us) 6-0 loss. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 Plz do not say anything about my grammar as you can read it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 I asked the Hospital when they would release me,they said It would be on the 2nd Febuary.I groaned and decided to call my dear wife Nicole........Hello she answered Hi babe its me Oh thank godness your ok Yep When will you come home? the twins miss you like mad! I cant come till Feb the 2nd.Tell Dexter and Lucy I love them I will can i visit you today? Yes please do After a few hours of sleep I awoke to see my beatiful wife with my two kids..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Really, grammar isn't hard if you use a spellchecker! I'm sorry, but most primary school children know not to throw random capitals into sentences. If you cannot be bothered to follow such elementary basics, why should I bother to read your story? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 SCIAG is right, it has be nice to read for people to read it. Its not helpful when you put 'Falfirk', and it cant even be put down to a typo, f isnt even near k on the keyboard. Needs to be worked on. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
El007 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 Well I dont care.Its only Grammar,the story is readible.Plz you guys I cannot be bothered to edit my sentaces! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperk1 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Well I dont care.Its only Grammar,the story is readible.Plz you guys I cannot be bothered to edit my sentaces! Then why bother writing them in the first place? If you don't care how badly your story is written, why should we care about reading it? It's only grammar? Grammar in the world of story-writing is everything - no excuses. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Just type it in a Word Processor, then you'll be able to solve your grammar and spelling errors with a couple of right clicks! I mean, from your last update: I asked the hospital when they would release me. They said it would be on the 2nd of February. I groaned and decided to call my dear wife Nicole."Hello," she answered. "Hi babe, it's me." "Oh, thank goodness you're ok!" "Yep." "When will you come home? The twins miss you like mad!" "I can't come till Feb the 2nd. Tell Dexter and Lucy I love them." "I will. Can I visit you today?" "Yes, please do." After a few hours of sleep I awoke to see my beautiful wife with my two kids. That wouldn't take you much longer than writing it out like you have. Like Viperk says, grammar is everything. If you had a book published with poor grammar (not that that's possible), it wouldn't be bought because of those grammatical errors. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almondo Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Plz do not say anything about my grammar as you can read it We may be able to read it but it is very difficult Well I dont care.Its only Grammar,the story is readible.Plz you guys I cannot be bothered to edit my sentaces! I agree with viper on this one. People like SCIAG and Gavrenwick are only trying to give you some constructive criticism and it needs to be taken as thus Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Well I dont care.Its only Grammar,the story is readible.Plz you guys I cannot be bothered to edit my sentaces! Not really the attitude too have, Viper and SCIAG are respected members of this forum and know what there on about...If you can't be bothered to edit your SENTENCES...then why bother to write Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Am I not respected :O haha. Marks right though, take the time to respect your own stories and make them readable and we will read them and respect them too. Putting the effort in always pays off. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Text speak and such awful grammar are not acceptable. Closed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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