The Corporation (FMS Sign Up)

[HorusFM]

Wednesday 29th October

West Brom @ St James Park

Premiership

Gav was still thoroughly happy to have a full squad to choose fm.

Tony Mowbray brings his 12th place WBA side to face Newcastle on the back of a 4-1 victory over Wigan.

*****

G.Lux, R.Taylor, R.Rat, C.Navas, S.Taylor, A.Bikey, A.Valencia, J.Barton, I.Afellay, O.Martins, R.Palacio

Two changes as Martins and Palacio comes in for Owen and Lovenkrands.

*****

Newcastle start with an abundance of pace as Rat sends Martins flying down the left, and the Nigerian wizard pulls in and fires, Carson turning it wide for a corner. Afellay bends it in but Martins heads over.

Martins does mazey run round the defence and sets up Afellay for a shot, but the youngter drags his shot just a little wide.

There is just something about Newcastle at the minute, though. Just like the Everton game, Afellay bends a terrific corner in and onto the head of S.Taylor, who powers a splendid header past Carson for 1-0.

A little over 5 minutes later and the ball is in the net again when Afellay bends another corner in, this time for Palacio. The Argentine rises above the keeper to head it in for his first goal, only to see it disallowed for a foul.

The second Newcastle goal comes just two mins after the disallowed one, Valencia picking a loose ball on the right and crossing for Barton, who snuffs his shot but watches thankfully as it lands in the path of Afellay who shins it over the line for 2-0.

West Brom finally get a shot on goal late in the half, Valero attempting a 30 yard freekick effort and watches with no surprise as it sails over. Referee Martin Atkinson books Meite for a dangerous foul just after the effort.

Half time arrives after a wayward Koren effort.

Half Time;

Newcastle United 2 - 0 West Bromwich Albion

(S.Taylor 14, Afellay 29)

*****

"Terrific half team. We need to keep the pressure on but also keep tight so we don't allow West Brom back in the game."

Palacio doesn't come back out for the second half through injury and is replaced with Emmanuel.

WBA start the half in better fashion with Valero testing Lux with a long range shot. They can continue this though for all I care, as it won't get them anywhere.

Emmanuel plays just like Martins and a terrific round the box run ends with a superb shot aiming for the top corner, Carson just managing to turn it around the post at the last second.

Barton has a splendid chance to get the game to three nil, but his header from Afellay's corner hits the bar and bounces down on the line before being hacked away by Meite.

Jonas coems on for Razvan Rat 70 minutes in.

Jonas' fist touch of the football is excellent as he beats to the two men on the right and breaks into the box. He seems to lose his nerve at the last second and tries to cross it in when shooting was a better option, Carson managing to fumble it away.

The game doesn't end with anything of note, a David Lopez header going just wide for WBA as they are beaten with ease at St James Park. They could have trouble staying up with performances as lacklustre as this.

Another win on the board. Sadly Man Utd are still up our backsides along with Chelsea and Liverpool.

Full Time;

Newcastle United 2 - 0 West Bromwich Albion

(S.Taylor 14, Afellay 29)

[mark wilson27]

Another good result Gav,....keep it up and there might be some free Jaffa Cakes in it for you

[HorusFM]

I'd expect only the best, Mark

*****

"These seats are uncomfortable." muttered Ashley Marks.

Seven of The Corporation members were on their way to London for a day out. Newcastle played Fulham the day after, and they would be going to that too. Blanco, Ashley, Jack Rudd, George and Jenny were the only people available for the trip. Jack had brought his little daughter along.

"Daddy," asked Amanda, Jack's daughter, "when do we get to London?"

"In about an hour dear. We are just coming in to Leicester."

"I thought Leicester was cheese?"

Jack just laughed at his daughter.

George was sat on the opposite table of the train. They were travelling in First Class, of course, being the rich people they were.

"How on earth is anyone supposed to do these damned sudoku puzzles?"

"They're easy, once you know how, George."

"They bloody aren't."

Little Amanda got up and took the Metro paper from George's table. She took his pen also, and sat back down. Within two minutes, she had finished off both the puzzles in the paper. She handed it back to George who looked on incredulously.

"Like my daddy said; they're easy once you know how."

Ashley and Jack laughed as George folded the paper up, seemingly embarassed to have been outdone by a young girl.

Amanda yawned and then made the statement every parent cringes to at the sound, "Are we there yet?"

*****

Upon reaching London St Pancras, Jack and his daughter headed off to do some shopping. That left Ash, Blanco, Jen and George to wander around themselves.

"I've never been to London before." said Blanco, clearly in awe of the size of the place.

"Me neither," said Ash, "never thought I was missing much to be honest."

"I love London." said George, "It's an excellent place. Can get some really excellent suits here, too."

"I'm with George. The shopping here is just to die for."

The four of them walked across the London Bridge and stopped in the middle.

"I dare you to jump in George." said Ash.

"Don't be stupid. I can't even swim."

"Really?"

"Never learnt. I'll be right back, guys."

The three others watched as George walked across the bridge to where a small stall was set up.

"What do you think he's doing?" asked Jen to no-one in particular.

"Hell knows. The guy has an unreadable face. Don't you remember the poker night? I am SURE he cheated."

"I think he did too." said Blanco, "A royal flush? All the Aztecian gods would turn in the tombs."

"Totally. Here he comes now."

George was walking back along with two bags in his hand.

"What are they?" asked Jen.

"They are t-shirts saying 'I love London'."

Everyone laughed as George took his shirt off in the centre of London Bridge and put his t-shirt on. He had bought a size too small, and he looked like he was going to burst out of it. Jack and Amanda walked back along the bridge from the other side and Amanda tugged at her fathers sleeve.

"Daddy, why is that man so weird?"

Jack laughed.

[Balthazars]

"Daddy, why is that man so weird?"

Indeed, the million-dollar question!

Still loving this, gav!

[tenthreeleader]

"Daddy, why is that man so weird?"

I know him. I'll ask.

[Jack Rudd]

Jack did indeed laugh. I wish I had an actual daughter; I suspect that, if I did, she would be rather like Amanda.

[HorusFM]

Thanks for the lovely banter as ever people.

*****

Saturday 1st November

Fulham @ Craven Cottage

Premiership

Roy Hodgson has his 14th place Fulham side face Newcastle on the back of a 2-1 defeat against Wigan.

*****

G.Lux, R.Taylor, R.Rat, C.Navas, S.Taylor, A.Bikey, A.Valencia, K.Nolan, I.Afellay, M.Owen, R.Palacio

Two changes as Owen and Nolan come in for Martins and Barton.

*****

Fulham attempt to get the first goal on the sheet in Wayne Brown's long range shot, but the youngsters effort was always going over Lux's bar.

A seering run down the right by Brown sees him play a delicious ball to Nevland who takes on touch and smashes a shot towards goal. Lux does well to keep it out, Rat putting out the loose ball for a corner. Stoor bends it in and finds Konchesky, but his header whizzes over the bar.

Fulham continue to forge all the early chances and go close again when Brown finds Stoor who then crosses to the backpost for Gera. The Hungarian never expected the ball and seemingly missed his free header.

Stoor and Brown then both have chances, Brown missing a free header and Stoor bending a freekick just wide. Fulham are all over Newcastle with ease.

Brown continues to be a nagging nuisance to the Newcastle side and Stevie Taylor loses his temper with the young man, slicing him down with a poor timed tackle. The referee gives him yellow.

Newcastle are consistently on the backfoot and it nearly costs them when Johnson finds himself behind the backline with no offside flag. The former Everton striker bears down on goal, but can't convert his effort.

Brown does well just before half time to lay a ball to Gera who then plays it through to Dempsey. The midfielder fires a shot early on, and has to watch as it goes wide.

Fulham have been much better but they go in level.

"Abysmal half guys. Fulham are all over us and they ain't showing any signs of stopping. We need to pull our fingers out and start at least putting up a fight.."

Half Time;

Fulham 0 - 0 Newcastle United

*****

Afellay doesn't come out for the second half and is replaced with Jenssen.

Newcastle start the half in much, much better fashion. Rat plays a killer ball down the left for Jenssen. He breaks away and centres a terrific cross for Owen, who somehow beats Kallio in the air and heads it home for his first goal of the season.

Kallio immediately tries to make amends when he rises above Bikey for a corner and heads it goalward. Lux is happy to watch is sail over, though.

Fulham begin to play like they did in the first half. Crisp passing, dangerous crosses and big men heading with ease. Hangeland has a perfect chance to level up but Lux is equal to it and he palms it onto the bar.

Lovenkrands comes on as a late sub for Palacio who still isn't settling in.

Newcastle begin to ride their luck at the back. Nevland and Johnson combine terrificly to play Gera in, and he then shoots with venom. Thankfully his shot rebounds off the post and away from any Fulham feet.

Fulham begin to get desperate as the clock ticks down, Dempsey and Paintsil both sending long shots into RowZ. Johnson then tries the same, his effort though forcing a save from Lux.

A final effort from Dempsey goes well wide and the referee calls time on a match Fulham didn't really deserve to lose.

By god that was difficult. We didn't deserve to win, but we will bloody take it!

Full Time;

Fulham 0 - 1 Newcastle United

(Owen 47)

[Balthazars]

It's ain't pretty, but it's yet another win, good job gav.

That said, I think for the long-term benefit of the club, and to recieve just returns for us as the investors, we need to 'bring sexy back'. I can provide examples; I have dvds.

[mark wilson27]

It's ain't pretty, but it's yet another win, good job gav.

That said, I think for the long-term benefit of the club, and to recieve just returns for us as the investors, we need to 'bring sexy back'. I can provide examples; I have dvds.

May I have a copy of those DVD's, just for footballing reasons of course

[canvey!!]

This sort of win makes you happy, but you all hate Man United who do it often.

[BenArsenal]

This sort of win makes you happy, but you all hate Man United who do it often.

Cos they do it arrogantly, with due disregard for anyone else. Especially that Sir Fergie.

We are all gentlemen. We win with style, we lose with grace. (Okay, maybe sometimes not with style. But needs must. )

[HorusFM]

Sorry for the delay between posting.

*****

Grantham, Blanco, Melieste, Alastair and George were all sat in a typical Geordie land pub. Grantham felt that the need to go to one of these places to fit in with the locals was the best way forward. Mike Ashley attempted to be just like the Geordie's, but Grantham just wanted to make the people respect him and his fellow board members.

"What do you guys all want?" asked Grantham

"A massive yacht." replied George.

"No, I mean as in, what drink?"

George suitably felt stupid, "A pint of bitter."

Melieste made a face in disgust, "You foul man. A pint of strongbow all the way."

"Cider is the drink of the poor." muttered George.

"Yeah, I wouldn't go around saying that in here, George. You'd be torn open quicker than a bag of crisps."

"I'll have a pint of bitter too." said Blanco, "And Alastair wants a pint of Brown Ale."

Grantham nodded and went to the bar, made his order and returned two minutes later with the drinks. They were all sat in the corner and made small talk to keep themselves occupied.

"George, Elisha Cuthbert or Megan Fox?" Melieste asked, himself having chosen Megan Fox, the Transformers lead female role.

"Who are these people?" replied George.

"Megan Fox is in Transformers. Surely you have seen it? If not I have the DVD in my car." offered Alastair.

"Is that the film with the Decepticots and Autocons? Like, robots?"

Blanco and Alastair laughed, "Yeah, something like that. I'll go fetch the DVD."

Alastair headed for his car in the parking lot and left the rest drinking up.

"We look so out of place." muttered George.

He was right, too. This was a working class persons pub, and the Corporation board members were dressed quite formally. A rather large Geordie man was staring at Melieste every time he spoke. He came across after five minutes and spoke directly to Melieste.

"Where you from lad?" he asked in a thick and verging on impossible to understand Geordie accent.

"Leeds."

"I thought so, you dirty Leeds scum."

The big Geordie man picked Melieste up and threw him onto the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Leeds people don't belong here."

"That doesn't even make sense!" said Melieste before he was picked up and thrown again. He landed with a thud on the wood flooring.

"Jesus! That hurt!" screamed Melieste.

"Good! Now take your friends and get the hell out of our pub! You are not welcome here!"

"For god sake man, we own Newcastle United!"

The man was about to throw Melieste a third time, but he restrained. "Well why didn't you say so lad! John, get these lads a drink, they own our club!"

The fat Geordie sat down in Alastairs seat, but Alastair came in with his DVD's. "Would you like to buy some DVD's?"

The fat and drunk Geordie smiled, "I'm a sucker for a cheap and illegal DVD."

[tenthreeleader]

Looks like you're having fun with George's character, Gav!

And by the way, George would positively be an Elisha Cuthbert guy, given the choice. Just so you know

Glad to see this back!

[SCIAG]

Glad to see tenthree getting it out from my sandwich of updates

Well done on keeping such a complicated story going for so long at such a high standard.

[Manxie_Ash]

Haha awesome

[Balthazars]

I love this story gav, please don't give up on it!

[PluckaDuck]

Loving this Gav, All the characters are coming together nicely which is enhancing an already terrific plot!!

I never see my name in any of these meet-ups, Presume I am out playing golf!!

[HorusFM]

Thanks as ever guys.

*****

Gav sat at the head of the table with his staff members around him. Nevio Scala, Ivan Carminati, Colin Calderwood, Alan Thompson, Robbie Elliott and Paul Barron were present, taking time out after the initial morning training session to have the meeting.

"Alan, how are the youngsters getting on? I haven't had any time spare to pay a visit to one of their matches."

Alan Thompson, a former Newcastle trainee himself, sat up and shuffled his notes. "Richard (Money), gave me these reports to share with you."

He passed them around and the coaches perused over them. Gav was first to speak. "It says here that we are currently third. That is pretty decent in my eyes. Phil Airey is the top scorer with four in ten matches; but Richard has singled out Haris Vuckic as the leading performer in the squad."

Alan nodded, "Yes. Haris has come along in leaps and bounds since joining from Domzale. He has a bright future ahead, but he needs nurturing. Though that pre-season experience with the first team would have done him nothing but good."

"Is he ready to train with the first team, even if just for a small while?" asked Carminati, who himself deals with all the first teamers in training.

"I don't see why not." replied Alan.

"We have three internationals in the under eighteens too, don't we?"

Alan nodded, "Yes; Haris, Shane Ferguson and Bradden Inman. They're all very decent players and probably the better of the bunch."

Gav smiled, "A bright future then, hopefully. Colin, Ivan, how are the first teamers training?"

Colin took his time to find the right sheet before remembering what he was supposed to say. "In the past month, the three standout trainers have been Tim Krul, Steven Taylor and Antonio Valencia. No-one was disappointing during that period, thought I have got a slight worry over Xisco's fitness. Since the arrival of Palacio, he has really put in poor attempts at keeping himself fit. Ryan Donaldson and Macauley Chrisanthus are keeping him out of the Reserve team because of this."

Gav was sat in thought, "Alright. Send him up to me. And by the way, send Cacapa at the same time. Seems hes on his way to France."

*****

Xisco and Cacapa arrived at the same time, and were conversing in rough English; Xisco still learning the language while Cacapa was fairly decent with the lingo. Xisco came in first.

"Francisco, I have called you in today because you seem to be having some trouble in training."

The Spaniard understood what Gav was saying, "Yes. It is because I don't think I feel wanted at club. There is five strikers in front of me in striking line-up and I feel my future may now lay elsewhere. I don't want be sixth man."

Gav truly understood his worries, "I understood how you feel Francisco, but you must always keep on training. You never know; your chance might just come."

The Spaniard just nodded.

"I want to keep you at the club, Francisco, so what I can do is try to find a short term move for you."

"Thank you, Gav."

"Not a problem. You can go back down to fitness training now."

The Spaniard smiled and left the room. Cacapa entered next.

"Claudio, I have good news from your agent regarding your move to Caen."

"I have heard from my agent too."

"Good. Well, as you know, the deal has been signed upon. Its just upto you to decide if the move is definitely what you want."

"It is. I will let my agent know in the morning."

"Thank you. Of course you can't move til January so I expect you to continue your hard work until then."

"You have my word." he said, before shaking hands with Gav and leaving.

[stoehrst]

Love nothing more than seeing the Magpies topping the table, Gav, good stuff!

[HorusFM]

Thanks alot stoehrst.

*****

Friday 7th November

Blackburn Rovers @ St James' Park

Premiership

Former Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce brings his 8th place Blackburn side face Newcastle on the back of a 2-1 victory over Wigan.

*****

G.Lux, R.Taylor, R.Rat, C.Navas, S.Taylor, A.Bikey, A.Valencia, K.Nolan, I.Afellay, P.Lovenkrands, R.Palacio

One change as Emmanuel comes in for Owen.

*****

The game starts with some decent pressure play from Newcastle and a chance falls to Bikey, his header being cleared off the line by Warnock and then hacked away by the defender. The clearance forms a counter with Tugay smashing a tight angled shot goalwards, Lux happy to watch it fly over.

The pressure continues with a header for McCarthy before Warnock fires in a subliminal shot towards goal. Sadly, it hits Bikey on the way towards Lux, who is then left in two minds as it bounces past him, an own goal in Bikey's name being given.

The game quietened down for a while before Newcastle hit back with an attempt for an equaliser. A run by Emmanuel resulted in a corner, which Valencia bent goalwards, Bikey's header only just being saved by Robinson.

The half turns sour after, and the remaning twenty minutes fly by with not even a whiff of a chance for either side. Passing is poor on both accounts, and a lucky own goal leaves Newcastle trailing at half time.

"Very poor out there. We have been performing well all season, but this just puts all that work to shame. We aren't creating chances, especially since you midfielders aren't servicing the strikers. Get it sorted for the second half."

Half Time;

Newcastle United 0 - 1 Blackburn Rovers

*****

Palacio and Bikey seem to have picked up knocks and don't return for the second half, Owen and Navas emerging in their places.

Newcastles first real effort in the whole game comes on the back of some superb passing, Navas setting up Emmanuel with a splendid pass. The Nigerian, however, hit his shot to tamely, allowing Robinson an easy save before Warnock clears.

An absolutely bizarre moment follows when Robinson is caught off his line by Owen, who attempts to lob him. The England keeper struggles, but makes the save, watching as the ball flies upwards and bounces off the crossbar back down into the box, Valencia then striving to reach it before fouling Nelsen.

Great work from Blackburns right side of Emerton sees his cross find Reid unmarked in the Newcastle box. Bizarrely he doesn't seem to expect the ball to reach him, and he completely misses his header.

Samba also misses a great chance, a half volley just bouncing wide of Lux's near post. The counter is thrown, but Newcastle fail to make it count, Afellay's attempt hitting the side netting without any damage being caused. A splendid chance then falls to Nolan after some midfield work allows him a shot at goal, but the ball also hits the side netting to Gav's annoyance.

Some final chances fall to Nelsen and Reid, but they aren't taken, and the whistle blows on probably the poorest Newcastle performance of the season.

It had to happen at some point.

Full Time;

Newcastle United 0 - 1 Blackburn Rovers

(Bikey OG 19 )

[HorusFM]

"What the hell is he doing?" asked Alastair Fang, the DVD extraordinaire staring at Ben Chia. No-one seemed to answer him. "Hello anyone?"

"What?" snapped Croesus.

"What the hell is Ben doing?" he asked again, still staring at him.

Ben was sat in his chair, cross-legged. He was humming silently and his eyes were closed.

"Quite frankly its freaking me out now." muttered Alastair, who had turned his head back to the group in front of him who were having a conversation about possible financial opportunities in the far-east. The aim was to hopefully set up club shops in China, Japan and South Korea in the hope that they could boost revenue income.

"Do you think this is a viable idea?" Grantham asked Fang and Ben, of which one didn't answer.

"Yeah, I think it would work." replied Fang, who was now reading Mark Wilson's and Kyle Melieste's combined financial package report for the plan.

"We have gone over every alternative and idea. This is the best package we could come up with." said Mark, diverting him from a conversation with Kyle.

"No, no. The best way to make a sandwich is to butter both sides." said Kyle.

"Hell no. Thats too much butter for my liking! I prefer to taste my filling, Kyle."

"Shush. You have no idea. I run a very successful sandwich business."

Mark spotted his argument winner, "And do your sandwiches have butter on?"

Kyle realised he had walked into a trap, "I think we should get back to this conversation." he replied before easing away from Mark. Mark just laughed and tucked into a fresh box of Jaffa Cakes.

"The far-east nations have a good history of adopting foreign football clubs as their own. Man United are a fine example."

"Well I know we won't ever achieve that level of success, but its certainly something to aim for. Mark, your package states that you have already put a plan in motion to join up with Dalian in China?"

"Yes, that's right. They have said that they would love to open links with the club, and can offer us serious merchandising in China."

"Then we have our in. Make the call and put this package into action."

Mark nodded and headed out of the Conference Room. Grantham slouched back in his chair and nodded towards Ben, "Is he okay? He has been sat there hours."

Alastair sighed, "I've been asking for ages. No-one seemed to answer me."

Grantham ignored the remark and looked towards Melieste, who still seemed hurt from sandwich war with Mark. The Jaffa man re-entered the room before Grantham asked him, "What up with Kyle?"

"He's just realised that he has no idea how to make a proper sandwich."

Grantham sighed. Was this a punishment from God; to babysit these monkeys for the rest of his life?

[BenArsenal]

Om.....

I'm stoning.

[Balthazars]

Only barbarians butter both sides of the sandwich!

[mark wilson27]

Good to see the story comig back after its short break Gav, and I have to agree with what Balthazars said, only barbariians butter both side of the sandwich

[viperk1]

Monkeys doesn't define it - Drunken monkeys sounds better .

[William Hall]

Is this going to run in FM10?

[HorusFM]

As of yet, William, I have no idea where this story will go.

*****

"Slick," muttered Alastair Fang. He was sat in the stadium, and had witnessed the most fun act in the center circle. The Corporation felt that half times in Newcastle were a dull time, and as such, wanted to excite the crowd with someone, or something, talented. The last entrant was a man who rode his motorcycle up the pitch towards a ramp that should have gone through a circle of fire. It hadn't ended well, the man seemingly chickening out, swerving, and then hitting a billboard that fittingly advertised 'Dr Pepper - What's the worst that could happen?'

Alastair slouched back into his chair. He, Edward Nelson, Mark Wilson and Simon Furnivall had been tasked with finding an act for the next home game half time interval. As such so far, they had found nothing of any value.

"This blows," muttered Mark, the Jaffa magnate seemingly wishing he was either tucking in to a box of his beloved, or getting wasted in his local pub. "Not one of the acts have been any good."

Simon nodded. "He's right. Who's crackpot idea was it to have a half time act anyway?"

Alastair smiled, "Yours."

Simon looked downbeat, "Sh*t yeah. I forgot about that."

They watched on as the next entrant tried something new. He had travelled all the way from America to show off his bodysuit of pipes that he could play modern music from. "I'm sure this guy was on America's Got Talent," muttered Simon.

Alastair replied, but didn't look at him, "Yeah. I have the last three series' on DVD."

Mark cast a glance at him, "Is that all you ever do? Plug yourself for selling DVD's?"

Alastair shot him a glance back, "Says you, who tried, and I emphasise the word tried, to sell jaffa cakes with vodka in? How did that go, Mark?"

"It went well! I got rid of all the ones I took to that awards ceremony in Iraq."

"Every attendee was an acloholic! You were bound to succeed. And how many have you sold since?"

"None."

"And why is that?"

"Supermarkets rejected them." replied a smiling Edward.

"My point exactly," snapped Alastair, "now will someone tell this bumbling fool to get the hell out of here? His pipes are annoying me."

Edward nodded, relayed a message down a walkie talkie, and watched as two guards dragged the man away. "Next person is John Rhodes. He is a master magician."

Edward radioed down again, and the man appeared with props on a wheelbarrow. He set all of his things up, and then a dog appeared. It ran full pelt towards the magician and he waved a red cloth, and as the dog met with the cloth, it vanished!

"Good god! The guys a genius!" yelled Alastair.

Simon nodded, "Amazing. I wonder if he could make George disappear?"

"You know, Simon, there is only one way to find out. Hire him!" replied Alastair. "But I do wonder if his dog is okay..."

[mark wilson27]

Very good post, the Jaffas did go well in Iran, shame the camel toe burgers didn't

[Balthazars]

Utterly random.

I like!

[HorusFM]

Gav sat in his office with Nevio Scala and Alan Thompson.

"This is just no good." muttered Gav, seemingly to no-one in particular. Alan's face was a picture of tiredness and Nevio just looked downright fed up.

"It doesn't work does it?"

"Not at all."

Alan sat up from his slouched position. "Do we have to do it then?"

Gav shrugged, "I have no idea. The club has become a laughing stock. They are coming up with such crackpot schemes."

"Did you hear about the poor god damn guy who crashed into the hoardings for some chuffing talent show?"

"Of course I did," replied Gav, "Nevio, what do you think about all this?"

The Italian had been unusually quiet, but now he perked up. "I think it is time. Just to let you know, Gav, I'll join you at whichever club you manage next."

That sealed it for Gav. "Time to resign then? As much as I REALLY do not want to, it seems we have been left no choice. I thought I could handle having my team recommended to me, but now, I don't think its right. Lets leave them to it. I just hope they don't destroy my beloved club in the process."

Nevio nodded, and so did Alan. "Lets go then." replied Nevio, and the three men left.

*****

DISASTER AT ST JAMES' PARK

by Todd Lundy

Newcastle United today continued their abject formation of history with the resignation of three of the senior staff members, including manager Gav Renwick after only a few games in charge and a seemingly terrific start. It had seemed that sexy attacking football had found its way to the North-East, but now, questions must be raised over the ever-media-elusive Corporation. Did they push Gav and his assistant, Nevio, who was one of the three to leave.

From what is heard by certain sources, its claimed that this 'Corporation' made the decision to sign certain players, and also put forward names for signing, regardless of interest on the managers behalf. They also had a say in the team selection for certain matches, which is not likely to have been a help on the managers job.

So where now? They must look for a new manager, but something tells me that finding one who, at the best of times, would be willing to take on a poisoned chalice is tough enough, let alone a poisoned chalice laced with more poison. Who would be dumb enough, in all honesty?

*****

"What an absolute idiot!" yelled Grantham, "and what the hell do we do now regarding a manager?"

No-one said a word. "And who the hell has been talking to the press?!"

No-one spoke once more. Grantham lowered himself into his seat and pulled out a cigar. "In all honesty, this guy has done a great job. But if we offer him the job back, he isn't going to take it. Not even with us removing ourselves from decision making that involves him. And this stupid writer," he muttered, pointing to the open article, "is bloody right when he says no-one sane will take the job. So that leaves us with one option."

"Which is?" asked Mark Wilson.

"We do it our bloody selves. Until the end of the season."

"And risk more trouble? The fans are going to be up our backsides now. Don't fan the flames, Benjamin," muttered Jim Thomson.

"No choice old friend. It will be done. Everyone, get ready for Premier League management."

[Manxie_Ash]

Excellent =D

[HorusFM]

“The result of the voting is as follows,” started Grantham, pretending to survey the contents of the paper in front of him. He already knew what it said; he was just dragging the process out to annoy every member of the Corporation. Chloe Varga was the first to notice that and she was making no attempt to hide her disdain with a face like she was sucking a lemon.

“Just get on with it, Benjamin,” she muttered, getting fed up of the whole thing now.

Grantham frowned, “The votes show that the first member of the Corporation to manage the Newcastle side will be...”

But before Grantham finished, Gav Renwick and Nevio Scala walked in. Everyone went quiet.

“Listen to me, and listen carefully,” said Gav, not looking happy. “I and Nevio are going to offer you the chance to reconsider our resignation. If you have seen the fallout from the last few days, you might want to reconsider after all. We want to work here, but we are not going to be subjected to your option to impose on all decisions we make. Let us manage our club and you deal with the financial side.”

Grantham stroked his chin before eventually speaking. He had taken every word in. “You’re right. We will take a backseat for awhile, and allow YOU to do your job. You have done a fine one so far, so we have every reason to take a step back.”

“Thank you Benjamin. We’re going to go back down to our dressing room and continue where we left off. Consider this the last warning you’ll get. I think we just saved you and your Corporation from disaster.”

As Gav and Nevio took their leave, Grantham continued where he left off. “The votes are pointless now,” he said before screwing up the paper.

There was an air of annoyance around the table. “Tell us who got the most bloody votes,” said Alastair Fang, the DVD extraordinaire rubbing his eyes.

Grantham shook his head, “I wouldn’t actually know the answer.”

“What do you mean? Did you even tally the votes? WAS THERE EVEN A VOTE?”

Grantham smiled, “I didn’t count them.”

“WHY?” yelled Chloe Varga, “Why on earth were we even here?”

“I like you all to remember that I am in charge. I love pulling the strings.”

“I hate you,” she muttered before getting up and leaving.

Mark Wilson came across to join the whole procession. “You knew Gav would come back, didn’t you?”

“I had an inkling,” said Grantham before pulling out a cigar. “I’d have looked silly if not.”

“Probably. You’re a tw*t anyway for dragging us all here. I could have been tucking in to my weekly Jaffa fest.”

Grantham frowned, “You need to see a therapist. That could become an addiction.”

“It already is,” said Mark as he headed out and pulled a mini-travel pack of Jaffas out of his pocket, “It already is my friend.”

Grantham gave a sour look to Mark, but then got up to head out himself. This temporary problem had now been solved, but only just. The fans would still ask questions, and Grantham had promised Gav that he and the other members would back out for now. He was a man of his word.

As Grantham thought of the devil, Gav came back into the office. “By the way, I want you and you alone to take the fall for what has happened in the last few days. You should go out and tell the press that you have convinced me to take my job back. They already saw me come in. If I don’t go out then they will either know you gave it me back or that you killed me.”

Grantham gave a dirty look to Gav, “A shame it isn’t the latter.”

[mark wilson27]

Mark Wilson came across to join the whole procession. “You knew Gav would come back, didn’t you?”

“I had an inkling,” said Grantham before pulling out a cigar. “I’d have looked silly if not.”

“Probably. You’re a tw*t anyway for dragging us all here. I could have been tucking in to my weekly Jaffa fest.”

Grantham frowned, “You need to see a therapist. That could become an addiction.”

“It already is,” said Mark as he headed out and pulled a mini-travel pack of Jaffas out of his pocket, “It already is my friend.”

It is an addiction and I am getting councilling for it.. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't mock it

[HorusFM]

The fact that Gav and Nevio was book went some to alleviate the trouble that had occurred over the past few days. It made Grantham a less grumpy person. It also made him take his first day off since the start of the season. Edward Nelson took charge of the group as they checked out the weekly finances.

“For the current month, and with this week’s finances sorted, we are currently £354,716 in the green for the month,” said Steve Stoehr as he ran his mind through the papers in front of him.

Edward nodded, “That’s what was expected, so it’s all good.”

“There is a discrepancy here though,” said Steve, highlighting the problem and passing it to Edward. As the shipping magnate ran his finger along the discrepancy, he looked up to see a whole host of worried faces. The discrepancy came up as ‘Non-Footballing Costs’.

“Right,” he said, passing the paper around the table, “Time for you all to own up as to what these discrepancies are.”

No-one said a word. Eventually someone piped up, though this time it wasn’t who was expected. “I put a trip to a massage parlour on the company bill,” said George Green, his face turning bright red in the process.

Edward frowned, “Well I’m certain that didn’t make up all of the discrepancy as it amounts to just under a hundred and sixty grand.”

Ben Chia chuckled to himself, “Must have been a pretty expensive massage parlour.”

“Don’t mock anyone, Ben. I’m sure I can check the accounts to see what you took out on the company. Unless you want to own up first.”

Ben shied away, “I haven’t taken anything out.”

Edward nodded, “Okay, let’s take a look. Ben Chia, on the twentieth of November, paid out four thousand pounds for samba lessons with Esterino Salcerino in London.”

There was a raucous laugh, Mark Wilson almost weeing himself with laughter. “He sounds... lovely.”

Ben frowned, “I am going to the canteen.”

As he left, Chloe Varga attempted to sneak out of the meeting. “Ms. Varga,” said Edward, “Was it really necessary to fork out four grand on a dress?”

Chloe stopped dead on her feet. “I can’t digress how nice the dress actually is. It was well worth the money.”

Edward sighed. He could see why Grantham had shirked the day off, especially today of all days. Steve had continued running his way through the list.

“Does anyone actually ever give to charity?” asked Edward, not really to anyone in particular.

Steve nodded, “There is a three hundred pound donation by Mark Wilson here.”

Mark looked smug. Edward frowned when Steve pointed out the charity.

“The Jaffa addiction charity society?”

“If people need help, Steve, they need help. An addiction is an addiction.”

Steve frowned, “Speaking of Jaffa’s, do you have any for us today? I’m peckish.”

Mark shook his head before getting up to leave for the canteen, “I’m afraid not. I’ve banned myself.”

Disbelief doesn’t do justice to the look around the rest of the members present.

[BenArsenal]

Four thousand for samba lessons?!

I like to dance, but still...

[Jack Rudd]

I didn't take any of that money. I can't answer for Amanda, though.