mytton Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Gav who? I hope you people know what you are doing. And is there anywhere at all to eat in this town? There doesn't seem to be a single chef here I've even heard of! Ramsey? Blanc? Not a chance! Although they say there's a chap called Harry Ramsden who's not bad. I'll have to give his place a try. Just as long as he carries a decent wine list. Anyone care to join me? Croesus Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenArsenal Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Eat? We have Subway, Jaffa Cakes and kippers. Not to mention Owen's JAZZY JAZZY sauce. Sounds good enough to me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Nice to see you advertise my product for me there Ben; and whilst we are on the subject the sauce is fantastic, goes with everything including Jaffa Cakes and Kippers! I hear even Subway are contemplating using it instead of that cheap rip off they currently have...whats it called Reggae something. I think this Gav bloke can really change the clubs fortunes, the geordies may bay for blood due to his inexperience but hec as long as he has a clean bill of health which doesnt mean Chris Hughton being left in charge Im going to back him A little controversial i know... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 The Queen's English Green! Maybe when YOU learned it P.S. Remember, Green ain't too bright ... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I think Gav needs a challenge, and this is certainly going to be a challege Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wegason Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Maybe when YOU learned it P.S. Remember, Green ain't too bright ... Is he also very old? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Haha, none should doubt me ***** Jenny Addison was stood on the side of the astro-turf pitch at Maiden Castle, Durham. She had come here on orders from Grantham to check out Gav Renwick. From people she asked, Renwick had become a big hit for the club, and was widely respected. She couldnt find out much from his personal life, only that he briefly managed Morpeth Town before heading to Blyth, and then to Hartlepool. He was still only 28, and his achievements were pretty good in her eyes. He could become the youngest Premier league manager. Jenny had sent a message to Grantham only yesterday about Renwick, saying he was going to have to prove himself. And right now, this was his chance. A friendly against local side Durham AFC. Jenny watched on, but noticed that Renwick had vanished. She looked around for him, but she couldnt spot him. A minute later, a hand touched her shoulder. She turned to see a figure holding a Starbucks coffee. "Mr Renwick. A pleasure to meet you." said Jenny. Renwick didnt have the normal look of a manager. He had shaggy black hair, was wearing jeans and a t-shirt saying "Everyone knows a Dave". Jenny couldnt help but notice how cute he was. "Thanks. And who might you be?" "Im Jenny Addison." she said, offering her hand before taking a gulp of hot coffee. "So how can I help you, Jenny? Your here to watch a player, I assume?" "No, no. Mr Renwick, I'm here to watch you." "Oh great. Hodcroft got his spies out again?" "Whos Hodcroft? No, its for another reason." Renwick's face went blank, but it slowly dawned on him. His concentration was broken when James Brown slotted the ball in to put Hartlepool in front, but he turned back to Jenny. "Who wants me?" he asked. Jenny smiled. ***** "Ladies and Gentlemen of The Corporation. We now own Newcastle United." There were cheers and clapped hands from around the table, but Grantham soon resumed talking. "Our first matter of business is to decide what the transfer budget will be in the first season. It matters not who takes over, but its up to us what he spends, seeing as it will be our money. Its going to go to the vote. If you have no preference then you need not vote." "What are the packages?" asked Ben Chia. "I have come up with four packages, Ben. Here they are." Grantham handed out a piece of paper to all members. Decision Time: Package 1: £15million transfer budget with wage bill of £600k. Package 2: £23million transfer budget with wage bill of £630k Package 3: £29million transfer budget with wage bill of £670k Package 4: £35million transfer budget with wage bill of £700k "Please let me know of your decision people." said Grantham, before ending the meeting. ****** Respond to the message I send privately if you wish to cast your vote, but feel free to discuss it here. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I dont mind publicly announcing mine: In the hope of getting a little conversation going as if we were in a board meeting. Id have to go for package number 2; its a large enough amount of money to bring in a few players of quality yet not too massive that the expectations will be hugely drummed up. Lets face it we are going to struggle to bring in immediate world class players so we dont need the budget to do so. Another point for my case is that there is a considerable amount of dead wood amongst the squad which can be sold on in order to add to the transfer budget. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I went for No.3. Not so much for the Transfer funds as for the wage budget. I think if we are going to become a world class club we need to be able to lure players away from other clubs, and for that wee need to be able to pay them top dollar. It also gives us a bit of a safety net incase things get out of hand. But then again I am a welsh fisherman....not the best person for these matters Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 LOL..almost chocked on my tea then. Yeh can understand what your saying reference the wages, but isnt that the same mistake each owner before us has done. Using high wages to entices players, spending large sums of cash only for players to fail miserable under the weight of the geordies expectations. For me we need players who are going to play their heart out for the club and start pushing us in the right direction. Egotistical pre-madonnas is not the way forward this time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Yes, that is very true. but the thing is we aren't the previous owners . If I wanted to spend extravegant amounts of dosh on idiots I would of picked the 4th option . I feel no.3 is the right choice because of the same reasons you picked no.2 its not over indulgant, but it gives us the oppertunity to bring in the best without having to worry about exceeding the limits. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Rudd Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 "Package 1" suggested Jack Rudd, looking carefully at the suggested options. "That Newcastle squad is actually very strong, but most of it has arrived in the last couple of seasons. The last thing we want to do is encourage the manager to destabilize it by bringing in even more players." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenArsenal Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I'm obssessed with money, so I went for number 4. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Same here number 4, Lets get out there and show the rest of the Premiership that we mean business and will back our manager finacially Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytton Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 (scribbles some numbers on the back of a betting slip) 700k per week comes to a 35 Million wage bill for the year. That's not excessive for the Premier League. Compared to some its pretty meagre. We'll need the transfer kitty too, for that big splash signing that makes everyone sit up and take notice. I say go for option 4. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terk Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Spend, spend, spend Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Went for option 2 myself. From what I can remember, newcastle need better players in a couple of areas and with £29 million we could get some rather good players. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Thanks for the votes so far guys! It remains open to change and to extra votes until midnight. ***** "I'm not sure Grantham. This guy sure as hell looks set to start the season with Hartlepool." said Jenny over the phone. "But surely he wouldn't turn down the chance to manage his beloved club?" he replied. "You would be surprised what some people do." "Hmmm. Well I still think hes the right choice for the club. Did you let him know we were chasing him?" "Not quite," replied Jenny, "I just stated that I was a journalist wanting to know about his future." "And did he give anything away?" "Nothing. The guy sure as hell doesn't want a leak, I'm sure of that." Jenny was sure she could hear Grantham's brain ticking over. "Jenny. Just go for it. Let him know we want him. There is little else we can do." "Sure thing, Grantham. One more thing; you seen the papers today?" "No, why?" "Take a look." The line went dead. Grantham immediately headed down to the shop for a newspaper. The Corporation Owns The Magpies by Mick Harris Ashley is gone. Wise is gone. Kinnear is gone. In fact, all of the backroom staff have gone. And why is that, I hear you asking. Simple. The club has changed hands. Mike Ashley has sold Newcastle United to the aforementioned Corporation. Still, little is known about what I regard as a shady organisation. So what fans of Newcastle United expect now? After the arduous but partly fruitful ownership of Freddy Shepherd, and the disaster under Mike Ashley, people will surely be saying that anything that does happen can be considered an improvement on previous years. But its not so straightforward. Newcastle United is a difficult club to own, manage and support. It always has been. But with the plight in recent years, we have been compared to doing-a-Leeds. Whilst we may not have seen such a heavy fall in fortunes, we have certainly slipped away from the top half of the Premier League. We are considered nothing more than bottom half makeweights. Graeme Souness, Glenn Roeder, Sam Allardyce, Kevin Keegan and Joe Kinnear have all come and gone, trying to do things their own way. And what did the club end up with? It ended up with five different moulds. Five different sets of leadership, players, tactics all wound up into one big mess. And in steps The Corporation. The question on everyone's lips now. Will they add the 6th mould to the mess, or will they clear away the mould, and start afresh? We have asked ourselves this before. But maybe this time really is the time that the clubs fortunes go where we Geordies want them to be. Watch this space. It may just get interesting. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazars Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Colleagues, I, Alistair Fang, believe that as a multi-billion dollar corporation, money should not be an object to any of us. If we are not willing to spend money, then why have we joined this venture and sought to buy this slightly-less-than-fine football club? Surely if we are to etch our collective names into the annuals of time, we must take bold steps here in this moment of time. In other words, those of you who want the smaller package should stop being a bunch of stingy little beggars! I vote for Package 4, let us attempt to maximise both transfer budget and wage budget. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Here here Balthazars Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 So much for credit crunch then eh? I suppose thats me told Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 The only crunching going off in this boardroom, is through my delicious Jaffa Cakes (Shameless plug I know) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Your jaffa cakes crunch? How old are they theyre cakes not biscuits Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark wilson27 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 You don't want too know Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 *Puts Jaffa Cake down....* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoehrst Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Option 4! Option 4! Option 4! It's like any pyramid scheme, we use money to bring in players who will bring in more money back to us, thereby making even more money! I actually voted for option 3 though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
archie#10 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Option 4! Option 4! Option 4! It's like any pyramid scheme, we use money to bring in players who will bring in more money back to us, thereby making even more money!I actually voted for option 3 though. That was my logic in voting for option 4. I mean, its how I got to where I am now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Owen Meek pushes his chair back and slowly stands, shoulders straight, immediatly grabbing the attention of those members at the table. Mr Balthazars have you been recieving PR lessons from the magnate that is George Green. I can understand your logic fellow board members but I implore you all to think carefully about the tag that comes with announcing such a large budget. This is a club which has dwindled in the last 6 years, no longer do we have the pulling power of the Keegan era. If we announce plans to splash large and cannot get the big names in which fans expect we can be sure of facing an early wrath from the loyal fans. With big budgets comes big expectations and unless we can be 100% sure that we can reach them this season surely we should tread carefully. Just throwing cash around freely is like giving ourselves ropes to hang each other with. We must learn from the mistakes of previous owners who came in and paid above board wages and inflated prices for players who never put their heart and soul into the club and those who turned out to be incapable of playing at this level. I ask you all to reconsider for this 1st season. We have the ability to raise transfer cash through sales, let us not sink cash into a ship which is at the moment sinking. Instead let us mend the deck and rebuild, ready to move onto better times. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazars Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Mr. Meek, while I fully understand the sensibility behind your position regarding this matter, I am afraid that I shall have to disagree. The average football fan, I believe, is a highly illogical and unintelligent creature, easily swayed by big names, big dollar signs, and even bigger personalities. As you state, Newcastle has been starved of success for a significant period of time, as such, they are desperate, easily swayed by big promises, lofty ambitions, and velvet words. The trend in football is for those with deep pockets to throw as much money at the problem as quickly as possible. Fans expect this most of all. By showing our committment, we shall easily sway the gullible, simplistic masses. And ultimately, in the event of failure, it is not we, The Corporation, that shall bear the full brunt of the public backlash. That is the reason why we are hiring a manager. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipstyle Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Heck with it. Let's go with option four fellas! Worst that happens is we drop the club in a year and ruin another one. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Darrn it..its seems you've persuaded the masses Mr Balthazers. I decide to switch my vote to option 4 such was the force of your argument against me. But should this all come tumbling down I need an agreement to be reached that you would be willing to move into PR with me? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoehrst Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I just thought of some more pyramid logic! More money means better players means more money! And better players means silverware and better league positions which means MORE MONEY!!!! Flipstyle, we gotta go into business together with some of your useless inventions.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazars Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Mr. Meek, in the event of this venture meeting an untimely demise, I would be more than happy to consider your proposal to enter into PR with you; assuming, of course, that you have no issues with me continuing to sell pirated DVDs. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goofus Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Option 4 is for me. Although if everything goes wrong, I shall move back to Australia and manage my impossibly big drug cartel. Damn, I love Australia. Singapore's far too strict on drugs. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoehrst Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Come to think of it, Balthazars, we could do a pyramid thing with dvds, too......trust me, it makes us money! Even if no one else will make any.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handi_Andy Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Option 4 FTW! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenArsenal Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I only care that Dennis Wise is gone. Can't stand that poxy little fella. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Pyramid is the shape of the future then stoehrst? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Gav's mind was spinning. "What do you mean Newcastle want me? No-one even knows who is in charge at the moment." Jenny smiled. "I do." "Care to enlighten me, then?" asked Gav. "The Corporation consists of twent..." "Whoa, whoa. The Corporation? It sounds rather..." "Secret is the word your looking for," Jenny chirped in, before continuing, "and we have twenty two members. We all now have an equal share in Newcastle United football club." "So why on earth do you want me? Why not go and hire some big shot like Rikjaard or Scolari." "I use to play professional football Gav, I know what a club needs. One such as Newcastle needs a manager who understands the cause, who can read the club like an open book." "Ill admit that. We were our best under Keegan and Robson, but flopped under Allardyce and Souness. But I still dont see why you want me... What about Steve Bruce?" offered Gav. "Nah, we decided to not go for Bruce. A few Newcastle fans on the board explained how he may be a wrong choice." "And I'm the right choice?" "Yeah, we think you are. Come on Gav, you cant tell me that you dont want to take the job?" "Jenny, I'd love the job." said Gav with a wide grin on his face. ***** All The Corporation members, except Jenny, were sat around their usual table, Grantham stood in front. But he wasnt happy this time. "Two stories in nine days from Mick Harris. Someone is feeding him information." "And whats this got to do with us?" asked Pizzoferrato. "Everything. Someone is leaking information to the press. Probably selling it. Which quite frankly, is annoying me because we shouldnt need to sell information." "Maybe its not being leaked on purpose." offered Andy Martin. "What do you mean?" replied Grantham. But it didnt require a response. Everyone instinctively turned to look at George. "He said he was doing research!" shouted George at no-one in particular. "And the second time?!" Grantham shouted back. "Second time round it was gorgeous girl..." he mumbled back. "For god sake, George." said Owen Meek. Everyone left the room, and on their way out, gave dirty looks to George. On his way out, Brian Cox smiled to himself. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Damn American's Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen10ozzy Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I think a gagging order for George is required..either that or lull him onto your boat maxie and make him walk the plank! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'll get the boat ready....I happen to know that the coast off of Cornwall would be the best place to drop him Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperk1 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'll get the boat ready....I happen to know that the coast off of Cornwall would be the best place to drop him Considering we're in Newcastle, wouldn't throwing him out somewhere in the North Sea be more suitable? Cornwall's a long way to go for the sake of chucking one bloke out into the sea. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manxie_Ash Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 .....Okay I just wanted a booze cruise and some cornish ice-cream Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Have it imported, your rich Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Gav was stood in the office of Ken Hodcroft. "I really want to go, Ken. We spoke about this, and its Newcastle! My boyhood club." Ken smiled. "I know, and I will let you. Newcastle will have to pay us compensation though, Gav. Your a talented manager, and I'll be damned to get nothing in return for you leaving." "I understand," said Gav, "Im so excited to have this oppurtunity." "Whatever happens over there Gav, be sure to remember us. We gave you the chance, dont forget the little people." Gav nodded, shook hands with Ken, and left the office. Before Gav left, Ken said one more thing. "Jeff Stelling is sure as hell going to miss you." Gav laughed and walked out of that office for the last time. ***** "Hes on board." said Jenny with a wide grin. "Excellent, Jenny. A job well done if I say so myself." replied Grantham. "Thank you. So whats next?" "Well the vote on the transfer budget ended with package four being chosen. That means were going to have to put some more money together for Renwick's kitty." "How much is he getting from us?" "We are giving him a transfer kitty of thirty five million pounds and a wage budget of seven hundred thousand. However, with long term injuries to Viduka and Owen, we are going to have it at eight hundred and seventy thousand. That means he wont get tied down by them two crockers." "Sounds fair to me." "More than fair, Jenny. Now lets hope we havent made a mistake. And one more thing." "Yeah?" "Get me a new chair for this office. Ashley's old one is horrific to sit on." Jenny smiled, "Sure." ***** Local Boy Returns: Mistake or Coup? by Mick Harris It was announced today that Hartlepool manager Gav Renwick is in line to take the vacant seat at St James Park. Renwick was born just outside Newcastle in Ashington and is known to be a beloved Magpie fan. But questions need to be asked of The Corporation's motives for this appointment. Is Renwick going to be the scapegoat should things go wrong? And is he an attempt by them to grease their entry into the footballing world? So many questions can be asked as to why they have moved to appoint Renwick, with many left disappointed after wishing for a big name manager to come and turn everything to gold. Its time to see whether these Corporation members are really up to the task. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenthreeleader Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 "He said he was doing research!" shouted George at no-one in particular. Obviously my character's PR fortune was made with Monopoly money. No PR guy with any sense of competence would do that. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goofus Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 It appears I have devious plans...being from a drug cartel, you can't trust me, can you? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenArsenal Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Remember the Google Maps I showed earlier? They now have street views. Newcastle United Official Store Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HorusFM Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 "Mr Renwick. Its a pleasure to meet you at last." said Grantham, offering his hand. "Gav, please. And the same goes for you Mister?" "Benjamin Grantham. Current chairman of The Corporation." "Nice to meet you. So your the person who sent the lady to come talk to me?" "Yeah, thats me. Shes Jenny, by the way." "Fair enough. I still find this hard to believe, but I aint going to complain." Grantham motioned for Gav to sit down with him. He poured him a coffee aswell. "Gav, we do want you to take charge. But there are conditions." "What conditions?" asked Gav, eyebrow raised. "Regarding transfers, we want a say in who joins the club. You, of course, get to decide who is in the lists. If you can, lists of three would be preferential, but of course, more if you cannot shorten the list." "Sounds like Ebbsfleet." "In a way we took ideas from their set up." "Is it a sustainable system?" asked Gav. "Yup. However, we also get a say in who is chosen for the first team games." "It sounds... different. Im willing to give it a go. Whats the worse that can happen?" Grantham smiled, "Precisely." "Where do I sign and when do I start?" "As soon as. You have a friendly in thirteen days against Aberdeen, so take charge when you can." "I know this is an odd request, but can a nice amount of compensation be paid to Hartlepool? Lets not forget the little people." Grantham nodded, "Ill see to it personally. One other thing, Gav." "Yeah?" "Im going to donate my best player to the club." "Who?" "Hes called Emmanuel. He will be at training in three days." ***** Gav sat at the table in his kitchen and wrote up a list. They were names of the Newcastle first teamers. Ones in red were on their way out. Yellow indicated possible leavers, and green meant they were staying. Steve Harper Tim Krul Ole Soderberg Ryan Taylor Fabricio Colocinni Sebastian Bassong Tamas Kadar Cacapa Steven Taylor Habib Beye Jose Enrique Nicky Butt Alan Smith Geremi Danny Guthrie Jonas Gutierrez Damien Duff Ignacio Gonzalez Kevin Nolan Peter Lovenkrands Obafemi Martins Michael Owen Mark Viduka Xisco Shola Ameobi Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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