SouthCoastRed

Are you Matterface’s joke writer?

Horrible. Don’t fix what isn’t broken etc

Harder to kill than Boris The Blade

England?

I was just putting the harness on the dog, now she's confused why I've sat down again

See, look what can happen when you actually attack

Yes, but he eased the pain here, so a bit of slack for 24 hours perhaps

Never happy

Thank you God

Better than the Seoul effort, but still high on the cringeometer

Will I ever stay awake for an entire Croatian game?

Entertainment in the same way stabbing yourself with a knitting needle is entertainment

At least extra time will offer another nap opportunity

Invoking the Romanian spirit of 98

I hope to god the other three are better than this

He’s just trolling you Rob for maximum disappointment impact

More action in 2 minutes than the whole first half

This bodes well, had a nap already

Friday 9th December Croatia v Brazil 1-3**** Netherlands v Argentina 2-2 Saturday 10th December Morocco v Portugal 2-1 England v France 1-3 Bonuses The total number of goals across all the games - 12 The total number of goals scored in the first half - 4 The total number of goals scored in the second half - 8 The number of games going to extra time - 1 Correctly predicting all the specific games going to extra time - Netherlands v Argentina The number of games going to penalties - 1 The total number of penalties scored (including those in normal game play) - 8 The team which scores the fastest goal - France The team which scores the last goal - Morocco The time of the first goal - 18 mins The time of the last goal - 90+6 The total number of yellow cards - 9 The total number of red cards - 0 The total number of substitutions across all games - 33

So onto the quarter finals, and ITVs number 2 commentator heads for home, bye Clive, not saying you were great but the prospect of wall to wall Matterface from here is terrifying

Alas poor Ralph, the fates were cruel, thank god

He’ll claim it was all part of the master plan

After 30 seconds Clive says “right I’m not going to talk about Ronaldo anymore” Red Clive Ronaldo mention count 158

My big match prediction. At least 2 naps, one each half

Red Clive Ronaldo mention count 6